Jongin’s room was on the topmost level of his house, and the rooftop right in front of it was a flat slab of extra outdoor space that was all his to use. Well, maybe not quite all his; his two best friends, Taemin and Soojung, claimed ownership to that space as well. Although maybe not Taemin, not anymore.

Soojung took a deep breath and hugged her knees to her chest. Jongin’s rooftop was her favorite place in the world, and one of the things that made it so was the fact that it was shared with her closest friends. She and Taemin lived just next door to Jongin, so they could come and play any time they wanted.

But now Taemin was moving away and things just wouldn’t be the same anymore. She knew it wasn’t the end of the world and that he would only be moving to another part of town. But it still disturbed her greatly.

“They’re gone now, Soojung. And your mom’s looking for you.”

Soojung gave a little shrug, not bothering to look behind her. Jongin walked over and sat next to her. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little, running off like that? Taemin’s mom was looking for you, too. And Taeminnie, though I think he knew why you left.”

“I didn’t want to say goodbye or anything,” Soojung said. “It’s not like he’s moving to Egypt.”

“So, why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

Soojung says nothing and Jongin gives her a little nudge. “Come on. Cheer up. We’ll still see him at school.”

“He’ll be in middle school, remember? We won’t see him as much at school. And now he’s moving away.”

“Well… things change, Soojung. What can you do about it?”

Soojung rolls her eyes upward. “Can you just be silently sympathetic for five seconds? I don’t need your philosophizing right now, Socrates.”

For once, Jongin complied, sitting next to her companionably but silently. After some time, Soojung finally says, “I just… it’s hard when I’ve gotten used to something that I like, and then it changes, you know? You’re forced to fall out of routine. Taemin’s our best friend. And one of the reasons why is because he lives next to us. Does that have to change now that he’s moving away?”

“Soojung, don’t be dumb. We became friends because we were neighbors because we were like, what, three, and our moms just put us together. I think we’re old enough now to carry on the friendship on our own.”

Soojung rolls her eyes again. “You don’t get it.”

“And what makes you think I don’t? I get everything. You’ve always been allergic to big changes, but small changes happen all the time. And big or small, whenever anything changes, your life goes on, doesn’t it? You have to learn how to deal with it, Soojung, because things don’t stop changing.”

“Can you leave?” Soojung pinches him on the arm.

“Ow! This is my rooftop! You leave!”

“Fine!” Soojung gets up to leave and turns around, but to her surprise, Jongin comes after her. She assumed he’d know she wasn’t seriously mad at him or anything; they carry on this type of playful banter all the time. But he grabs her arm, turns her around and gives her a warm hug, which was strangely comforting. “Hey, it’ll be fine, I promise. Jinki-hyung said he’d take Taemin over to play from time to time. And look, I’m still here, right?”

“What makes you think you being here is a source of comfort for me,” Soojung mumbles into his shoulder.

“Yah, get out of here.” Jongin shoves her away and she laughs, stumbling towards the door. “Hey, Jongin…” She pauses and looks back at him. “Thanks.” She does feel a little better now.

Jongin shrugs and smiles a little. “Sure.”

*

It was extremely warm even for a summer night, and Soojung could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Even so, she stayed outside. She was in the sort of mood that compelled her to be on Jongin’s rooftop, her safe haven. The place where she felt most at peace, most clear-headed.

“Noona said you were up here… and I said wow, I never would’ve guessed.”

Soojung whipped her head back but made no effort to move. She was surprised to see Jongin, who was supposed to be at dance camp, but not exactly compelled to get up and greet him. “Hey, you’re back early! What happened to the rest of camp?”

Jongin held his arms out. “Why aren’t you rushing over to greet me? I’m hurt by your lack of excitement.”

“Whatever, weirdo. Weren’t you supposed to stay for another two weeks? What about Taemin?”

“Taemin left early, too. Some family thing. We both finished all the dance exercises before everyone else so they let us go.” He walked over and sat next to her. “Plus, I figured you’d be lonely and bored all here by yourself.”

“So you came back just for me? How gallant. I’m sure you just missed me.”

“I’m sure I missed my PS3 more. Ow!”

They fall into a comfortable silence which drags on until Jongin asks, “So, what’s bothering you?”

“What makes you think something’s bothering me?”

Jongin shrugs slowly. “I don’t know… when Jungah-noona mentioned you were up here, I just got a feeling that something was wrong. That you needed to go up here by yourself on what has got to be the hottest night of the summer.”

Soojung took a deep breath. “Well… It’s just… Have you heard about Jinri?”

“What about Jinri?” Jinri was Soojung’s best girl friend, not quite as close to her as Taemin or Jongin, but was able to understand her in different ways than those two boys because, well, she is a girl.

“Well, you know she went to this modeling camp thing, right?”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “No, I didn’t. Even though she talked about it twenty-four-seven for three months straight, ti completely slipped my mind.”

“Can you just - I hate you. Do you have to be sarcastic right now… Okay, so everybody knows she went to modeling camp. Well, they… They offered her a modeling contract. Like, she could start working. They said she could start after finishing junior year. So…”

“She took it?”

“Of course she did.”

“So… she’s leaving along with Taemin and everyone else.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Oh.” 

They were quiet for a bit and when Jongin opened his mouth, Soojung cut him off. “Look, you don’t have to tell me that I’ll live and things change and I’ll deal with it just like how I did when Taemin moved away and my mom went to live with my grandma and left Sooyeon-unni in charge and I missed her and - ”

“Would you relax? I wasn’t about to say anything like that.” 

“Oh. Then…”

“I was about to say that this sort of , but good for Jinri, I guess.”

“Yeah, good for her.” Soojung pauses before admitting, “I guess it’s not just the part about her leaving that bothers me. It’s also that… Everyone seems to know what they’re doing after high school. I mean, you and Taemin want to dance. Jinri’s practically got a career. Kyungsoo-oppa is so smart that he can take a random pick and do anything in the world at all…”

“Sehun doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Soojung rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that’s a huge encouragement.”

Jongin laughs. “Hey, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You don’t have to have it all figured out by now, you know.”

“But it bothers me. It’s bad enough that things have to change, that I have to change. It’s worse when you don’t know what’s in store.”

“But why is it bad? Isn’t that the fun in life?”

“But you’re not prepared.”

“So? Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.”

Soojung sighs. “How can you be so relaxed about everything. Why doesn’t change scare you like they scare me?”

“Because being scared doesn’t change anything, and I believe that no matter what, the people that really matter will always be there for you.”

And Soojung held on to those words throughout that year, her eleventh year of school, a year of more growing up and more big changes. A year of accepting that even the people closest to you can change in ways that you never expected. A year full of questions, and answers that were difficult to decipher. And it was funny and a little ironic to Soojung that Jongin out of all people was the one who had uttered those words.

//

a/n. title taken from f(x)'s "pink tape" teaser.