“Hey, can I ruin your day?”

---

It's too bad, it’s really too bad, to be waking up undressed by a pair of gigantic hands that were famous for stuff. But especially worse when your scream was way too loud to be considered as... normal? Kyungsoo’s tiny feet shuffled downstairs to get breakfast, when two serious parents were sitting down, looking too stiff for their own good.

“Ah, Kyungsoo, is Yifan up?” Mr. Wu asked. The petite male flinched a little, only to have it replace with a begrudging smile. 

“Hm, he’s just getting ready. Yesterday was a little surprising, the suggestion was too sudden,” Kyungsoo said. Living with old-fashioned (too innocent) parents, he continued and rambled on, not realizing how it truly sounded to the Wu’s. They had their mouths gaped open, a few forced chuckle was pushed out when Kyungsoo continued.

“Well, Kyungsoo, we’ve talked things over with your parents... We both decided it’d be best if you guys would live together,” Mrs. Wu said, but instead of an invitation, it was more of a live-with-my-son-you-have-already-done-stuff-together thing.

Kyungsoo couldn’t come up with a response, only left in front of the parents, mind racing way too fast. “No! He’s a freak! I’ll die with that freak!” Kyungsoo’s mind screamed. 

Yifan overheard it while coming down the stairs and excitedly gave the frozen smaller male a warm back embrace. “Nice idea, hm, Kyungsoo-yah, live at my house. It’s amazing how perfectly planned this fated relationship is. I get alone there, and it scares me.” 

“Anyways, Kyungsoo-yah, you’re already a grown man, stop living with your parents. You can visit them once in a while like I do.” Yifan nudged the younger into a soft small smile, eyes that crinkled in such a way informing Wu Yifan how he was going to regret this.

“Ah, since I’ll be spending the rest of the day with you, what do you usually do?” Yifan asked Kyungsoo as he helped with moving out. Kyungsoo gave no reply just a grunt as he picked up a box. “Let me help you with that,” Yifan said lifting the weight from the weaker man. 

“This isn’t even heavy at all...” Kris muttered, wanting to start laughing at how weak the man was. Did he even involve himself in any physical activities? 

After putting all of Kyungsoo’s stuff (which wasn’t much at all) in the trunk of his car, they drove off to Yifan’s home. “Where is it located?” Kyungsoo asked, having no intentions of starting a small talk. Only with the intentions of wanting to know where they were going, but Yifan took it the wrong way and did exactly what Kyungsoo wanted to avoid.

“Hm, it’s far off in the countryside. Somewhere in a small mostly isolated town surrounded by the mountains.” Yifan said. Kyungsoo noticed how there were fewer buildings the more they drove. “There’s no one there but me.”

Kyungsoo snorted, “Really? Doesn’t seem like it with your reputation...” 

Yifan eyed the younger man, “I don’t bring them home. I never do, unless they’re special. But like I said, I never do. I just usually take care of them at one of the specially reserved VIP rooms.”

“Don’t...” Kyungsoo quietly whispered, too quiet for Yifan to make out, but not enough to stop the older male from suspecting.

“Hm?” Yifan asked, Kyungsoo rolled down the window and stuck his head out, wanting to block every single question that came his way. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Kyungsoo replied but drew his head back when he felt sick. “Yifan, can you drive with one hand?” 

“Yeah,” Yifan said, a little bit surprised when the younger male took his hand, intertwined their fingers and rested it against his forehead. “What are you doing?”

“I feel sick,” Kyungsoo mumbled, his voice came out as a squeaky whine. Yifan liked the way the younger’s smaller fingers were perfectly placed between his. “Yifan, your hands are cold,”

The giant pulled his hands away, taking the comment as an insult, since Kyungsoo was the one who said it. “No, don’t, it’s nice. I like it.” Kyungsoo said taking the elder’s hand again, but this time, he rested the back of Yifan’s palm on his cheek. A warm cheek and a cool hand were the perfect combinations.

It continued like this, the faint breathing of a sleeping Squishysoo and the concentrated eyes of Wu Yifan while driving with a single hand. 

They seemed like a real couple, right there, one that would’ve brought many to envy. But it was a shame that it was an act, nothing more and everything less. Even if it was just a scam, that moment, Yifan felt like there was somebody he wanted to hold, protect, and love. It was all too unfamiliar to him, those foreign feelings, that Yifan mistook it for simple affection towards a tiny male. 

He shifted his right hand and felt a ring on the smaller’s finger. No big deal, no big deal.

 “We've arrived.” the deep velvety sensation ran down the spine of Do Kyungsoo, who shivered unconsciously, “Come on, let’s go.”

Kyungsoo’s already large eyes widened even further, after the gigantic hands of Kris lifted him out of the car and towards the door, bridal-style. “Let go!” Kyungsoo struggled but was terribly weak. The pathway, as little as he could make since it’s dark, was a bunch of dark reflecting stones. The door showed more because it was illuminated by the light. He glanced around, trees were surrounding them, the only thing that was a normal site was the huge house. 

“What if, wolves lunged out and started attacking me? What if, monsters ate me? What if—“ Kyungsoo worried, burying his face into the clothed chest of Wu Yifan. He could stand it, the taunting voice of the fearless giant, but Kyungsoo never heard a single word, just the feeling of a playful smirk and continuing footsteps. 

When unlocking the door, he did a press, slide, and unlock. Easy as pie but still hard to do when both your hands are being used to carry a frightened rabbit. Luckily Kyungsoo was too sleepy to have his mind set of monsters at the moment. 

Kyungsoo was laid on the bed by Yifan. But he was given extra service when the giant undressed him, wanting to younger to be more comfortable in suitable sleeping wear. Right now, he wouldn’t care less if Yifan were to molest him. He was too tired.

The smaller man didn’t mind how Yifan’s hand touched usually clothed places, he didn’t mind at all. He just liked the familiar feeling of a soft suitable bed. His eyes fluttered closed, completely shut and unaware of anything that would be happening.

Kyungsoo was awakened by his dried out throat, parched for the need of liquid, such as the regular, water. His eyes were still foreign to everything, so of course he stumbled upon some things in the dark. He got up from the door, while, during his walk to the kitchen, he heard the hum of a happy giant while taking a shower. Yifan's deep voice echoed and rebounded through the silent halls. 

Searching for the lights, Kyungsoo's small hands started feeling the wall, only to give up and think, This is nerve wrecking, I don't want to see the light. 

Luckily for him, the glass cups were in a safe and reachable area due to the laziness of a certain Chinese male. Taking a few sips from the full glass, the corner of his eye caught two bright eyes that looked up and at his way. Completely startled, he screamed, dropping the cup, breaking it, and slipping on the broken pieces. Due to a lucky coincidence, he found Yifan turning on the lights, making the rodent hiss and run out the unlocked back door. 

"I thought I had that locked..." Yifan muttered going over to lock the door until realizing the state that Kyungsoo was in. "."

Carrying the petite male, once-again, bridal-style. Kyungsoo, this time, however, didn't protest. He went with the flow and almost relaxed in the arms of Wu Yifan. Knowing that if he were to walk himself, the broken pieces might draw in deeper and it would hurt him. He sat on Yifan's bed and hummed patiently. The hum was a disguise for weak pathetic whimpers. 

Kyungsoo was almost surprised the other man could've kept quiet for such a long time. He watched as Yifan took out the First Aid Kit, and carefully began to take out the pieces. It was just a few, and the weren't that deep, so it wasn't a big deal at all. 

Yifan wrapped the bandage on Kyungsoo's foot, glancing up at the male, "This okay?" Yifan asked. Kyungsoo nodded almost charmed by the soft voice used on him. "I'll carry you to your bed."

"Ah! Yifan-shi is it possible if I..." Kyungsoo's eyes fluttered and floated around, almost timidly. It was such an adorable sight to Yifan. "Sleep with you?" he ended, eyes directed away from Yifan. 

"Hmm," Yifan teased. Kyungsoo glanced at him, a worried look hung on the small male's face. "Should I?" Yifan launched his arms towards Kyungsoo's waist and hoisted the male up almost like a ragdoll. Kyungsoo, out of instinct wrapped his feet around Yifan's body, causing the older to move his hands up. The petite male's former limp hands directly hung around Yifan's elegant neck. 

They found their faces close together—no—together after Yifan deleted their centimeter distance. Lips were just resting on each other until a tongue belonging to a taller male snuck towards the other's lips. Kyungsoo was startled but showed no sign of it. After Kyungsoo thinking, Should this be? he hesitantly let it unfold in front (inside) of him (his mouth). 

But this time, Kyungsoo, too, wanted it. He put it just as much effort as Yifan did. The petite male breathed in the musky scent of the older. Although he just showered, the smell is strong and obvious.

The fragrance of various types of flowers invaded Yifan's nose. He wanted to drown in it, he wanted to do something more than what they are doing. But he knew that it wasn't time yet, he might've be known for a Rushing Romeo but he was experienced with a few "normal" relationships.  

Kyungsoo drew away, which disappointed Yifan. But the smaller male, instead, rested his head in the crook of Yifan's neck. "Sleep..." he muttered in a drowsy tone. 

The taller male rested the smaller down onto the mattress and slept beside the scared petite male. Unfortunately, Yifan couldn't get any sleep. The smaller was snuggling too close to Yifan. Kyungsoo's hot breath was tickling the older male, it made him want to tease the younger. But due to the manners he had been taught, he stayed there, hoping he would get some sleep soon or get some sleep anytime else.

"Is this how it is?" Yifan whispered, taking his hand to Kyungsoo's soft light-brown hair. "Is this how it will be?"

The light that passed in was natural and bright, too good to be in the city. But suddenly, Kyungsoo recognizes the fact that he was in Yifan's isolated country house.

But the light wasn't the only thing that he saw, he also saw Yifan's jaw at eye-level, suddenly thankful that he was little. If it had not been for his height, it was possible that their lips would've been locked together.

He heard deep yet quiet grumblings made by the dormant Wu Yifan. Kyungsoo detached himself away from the arms of Yifan and came up above him to look down upon the older male. Kyungsoo giggled although the man was mature, but at times he seemed and acted childishly, exactly like this. It was almost cute in such a way, the powerful look that Yifan usually wore was replaced by an innocent and unaware face. The petite male poked the left cheek of Yifan's, making the Chinese twitch.

Kyungsoo shuffled out of bed, making sure to replace the blankets to where they were, worried that Yifan might be feeling cold. He scurried towards the kitchen and opened the drawers, reaching out to what seemed like pancake mix, he began making breakfast. A good old-fashioned American-styled breakfast, one that didn't come from hired workers, or restaurants. 

He softly sang the song, XOXO, by EXO. Not knowing that the sneaky wolf Wu Yifan was slithering down, smirking. He creeped behind the younger and hugged Kyungsoo's waist. Kyungsoo's body jerked back, a pitiful shriek bouncing off of his thick lips. Yifan lunged back, rolling on the floor laughing his soon-to-be-sorry off. But when he opened his eyes, he was faced with a certain Do Kyungsoo with a wooden ready-to-spank spoon in his hands. "You'll pay," Kyungsoo growled, eyes slitted almost shut. And Yifan feared that those words might be the last ones he's ever going to hear. 

While in the midst of being beaten to presumably death, the doorbell rang. It was a loud and shrill noise and in a pattern that was easily recognizable for trolls. Kyungsoo tilted his head in confusion, going over to the door and ignoring the protests of the owner of the house. 

He was greeted by a llama-looking-creepily-smiling giant, an eyeliner diva, a camel-dinosaur-troll, a romantic-wushu-kung fu-panda, a deer-eyed-female-looking male who dragged along a male with cheeks the size of boazis. 

"Uhm," he stared at the group, noticing some from a few years back of High School. "Are you here to see Yifan?" 

All of them, seeing Do Kyungsoo, had their jaws pulled down and glued to the ground. After missing Yifan's birthday party for other business, they had heard the news that Yifan had publicly announced having a boyfriend. And the lucky male, was none other than a-self-isolated-loner-who-rejected-society. "What?!" they all shouted, making a terrified Kyungsoo jump. 

All of them had questions, such as why Kyungsoo? The male that Yifan absolutely hated that had rejected life altogether. They all had questions for Yifan. But all had the same question that was first introduced into their minds. "Why him?" 

Yifan thought it was unfair for his real friends to not know that it was fake, a complete and utter scam. He made sure to talk it over with Kyungsoo, that this was the maximum amount of friends that Kyungsoo could tell the scam to.

Surprisingly the midget agreed, surprising Yifan because he was doubtful that Kyungsoo even had friends. This might've just been judged for simple curiosity, but honestly if the whole mindset was revealed, it was a weak jealousy.

Who are his friends? Does he meet with them often? What does he do with these friends? How long have they been friends? Have they ever seen him before? Have they ever touched him in certain places before? Have they have done anything extreme before? Did they force him to become their friends by threatening to gang him? Or are they luring him into their trap by pretending to be his friend? Kyungsoo, Yifan thought, doesn't need any friends.

He wanted to confirm with himself that he wasn't jealous, just very, very, intrigued with the smaller cute male. "I'll go tell them now," Kyungsoo said, waving his phone and interrupting the wrong thoughts of Yifan. As much as he wanted to ask, he kept it in, and turned his heels towards his crazy bunch of troll-friends. They all looked at him mouth a-gaped. 

"Tell us." they said, altogether. Yifan grinned casually with a raised eyebrow. 

"It just so happens that this sweet precious relationship is fake!" he said putting emphasis on the word fake. They all looked at him confused, because that still didn't give the reason to why he chose that squirt. Yifan sighed, got up from his seat, and shouted. "I'm going to go out with them!" And made way for the door with his bunch of troll-like friends.

Selected: Junmyeon (gramps), Kim Jongin (Nini), Oh Sehun (derp-face), Zhang Yixing (magical dimpled confused cutey unicorn)

Message: Have I ever told you I'm in a wonderful relationship with Wu Yifan?

NEW MESSAGE (47) 1 second ago

(Kim Jongin has formed a group chat)

Members: Kim Jongin, Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo, Zhang Yixing

Sehun: Where's Junmyeon? 

Jongin: No one needs that loser.

Sehun: LOL I AGREE

Jongin: THE REAL QUESTIONS IS

Sehun: WHO IS THAT ERT

Jongin: THAT ERT MUST BE OLD HYUNG~~~

Sehun: You have me ♥ :'(

Jongin: Why aren't you answering? It's been like 1 second???

Sehun: I think our phones are broken, I bet it's been 1 day...

Jongin: AND HE STILL HASN'T REPLIED. 

**(And a bunch of profanity like that continued.)**

Kyungsoo: Hm, what if I told you, it's a scam?

Jongin: Did you play a prank on us?

Sehun: Bad Squishy... I'll take you out for some bubbletea.

Kyungsoo: I'm in a fake relationship.

Jongin: And you couldn't have just asked ME?

Sehun: EWW, why would he ask you when he could ask me?

Sehun: That's right, Hyung, why aren't you asking me?

Jongin: I swear, how many brain cells did you burn while dying your hair?

Sehun: SHUT IT YOU WALKING SLEEP-WALKER 

Sehun: You always have those half-way closed erted eyes

Sehun: Just like that EXO member Kai... he's a

Jongin: You don't make sense.

Sehun: We're coming over to meet that ert.

Jongin: I bet he's a slave-master... ~~~

Sehun: And this is a disguised S.O.S call!!!

Kyungsoo: (Location sent) 

Kyungsoo: One day drive~ come soon and bring Joonmyeon! 

Sehun: EWWWW no. Not that grandpa.

Jongin: He ruins all the fun, he's too awkward and derpy...

Kyungsoo: You can't come unless you bring him. Or I'll let my "boyfriend" out on you to kick you out.

Kyungsoo: Bye over-sized maknaes~~~

Sehun: I swear, out hearts are over-sized too!!!

Jongin: That actually sounded witty...

Do Kyungsoo has left the chat

Yixing: Sorry guys, I was leprechaun hunting.

The little isolated town had a smaller-sized basics of a city. Except it was a much clearer, brighter sight and not much people. But that still didn't stop the rushing in of girls and boys hearing that Yifan came back, and brought some good-looking friends! The tiny cafe crowded no sooner than you could blink. The owner wasn't slightly bothered because it helped his business. And he liked that someone such as Yifan enjoys coming over to his little cafe. But the bunch of trolls (yes, including Yifan), weren't the only one(s) with the good-looking face.

There was also a handsome, calm, man in a corner. He sat near the windows and read his book while enjoying the hot cup of coffee he was given. But even his interest was perked up by the hustle of noises collecting in the tiny usually empty cafe. But of course, he didn't know that. He just came to visit a friend who got dragged here by his boyfriend.

Jongdae received the often curious glances that was given to Yifan by a certain handsome male that was not in the little rowdy group of theirs. Jongdae tapped the elbow of the gigantic Chinese male. "He's checking you out, and he's h-h-hot." Jongdae practically sang out. Yifan ignored the comment, surprising the camel-dinosaur. Yifan was like a garbage disposal, taking anything in. "Hmph! Fine, since you're not interested I might as well..." 

The attention of the conversation of Yifan explaining a simple yet complexing plan to his friends were all directed towards Jongdae. He was the Emporer of trolling. Baekhyun smirked, Chanyeol received the same reaction, Luhan poked his boyfriend, Minseok in the ribs as they all anticipated the next actions of Kim Jongdae. 

The camel-dinosaur walked over and knocked over the cup of coffee that was innocently sitting on the table. It made the male who was enjoying his book look up, "Yes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Jongdae smiled, receiving a smile from the other as well. 

"You're a dork..." Jongdae accidently said. It had become a habit, saying things that were on his mind. 

"I am? Don't I look cool though? Reading my book, wasn't it cool?" the formerly calm male stuttered. It was confirmed by Jongdae that the stuttering male in front of him was an absolute dork. They weren't his type, but this one was cute. He was the opposite of Baekyun, his ex, who was currently dating Chanyeol. Jongdae raised an eyebrow, pulled out a chair, and sat down. "Was it cool? Did I really look like a dork?"

"Yeah, it was cool. No you didn't look like a dork, but you are a dork. What can I say? Appearances can be deceiving." Jongdae said tapping lightly on the wooden table. "I'm Jongdae, Kim Jongdae." he lets out another smile. The other male stared at Jongdae, mouth slightly hanging open until the camel-dinosaur raised an eyebrow. 

"O-o-h! That's right, I'm Junmyeon." Jongdae nodded his head slowly, as if to indicate that he was getting the information. 

"So, Junmyeon, what do you like to do?" 

Yifan ignored the fact that Jongdae left, and continued explaining. "Yeah, you know that time back in High School? That little prank?" The rest all nodded in understanding some frowning disapprovingly, it wasn't a very nice thing to do. In fact, it was straight up rude. "Yeah well, he's paying for it." He looked at his friends' faces. Baekhyun's was normal, Chanyeol was frowning, Luhan's eyes were confused but still smiling, Minseok looked pissed. Of course, Minseok never even wanted to come, he got dragged here by his over dominating boyfriend, Luhan. He has a "bottom" appearance in public but reigns "top" in private. He was no deer, he was a devil!

"Ah, Yifan, don't you think it's rude just for you to tell your friends? What about him? Who's he gonna tell?" Chanyeol piped in. 

Yifan smiled, biting his lower lip, "He's going to tell his friends." he exaggerated his voice when he said friends. Yifan doubted the fact that the little loner had anybody. Baekhyun smirked, knowing the exact mind of Yifan. Chanyeol laughed robotically, getting it, not finding it funny, but wanting to fit in. Luhan was still smiling that creepy smile, eyes still confused. Minseok still had that pissed look on this face. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Yifan knew, were paying attention. But the minds of Luhan and Minseok were in their own place. 

Luhan: Minseok's going to look so cute in the maid-dress... I'll make him call me oppa~!

Minseok: Kris talks too much, why did I have to come? I want to rest after having worked my off... I'm still sore.

Wu Yifan immediatly grabbed his phone when he received a text from Kyungsoo. He wondered what would it be? After thinking of all the possibilities, he became worried. What if Kyungsoo was being senseless? All because Yifan had left him alone! His eyes twitched annoyingly, his phone was agonizingly slow. After unlocking it, his worries developed. The text read, My friends are coming over tomorrow~. Great, now Kyungsoo's gone crazy thinking he had friends!

A/N: /hides/ I know you're disappointed! But please continue to support me... and KRISOO!!! What will happen when two crazy bunch of friends meet? Not only that but, Chen and Junmyeon c;