When uncertainty hits you hard, insecurity starts to grow within you. Flowing over your blood, to your veins and takes control of your emotion.  

 Mark never know what insecurity was. Insecurity never accured into him because basically,  he didn't care. He's always certain about the things for he's    never experienced  this kind of feeling. 

  To someone who   gets what he wants, Mark's not used to his current  situation. He used to get the things he wants and  with only a snap of his fingers he can make people drop on their knees and beg him to notice them.

  That have been changed eversince he met Jinyoung.  

Jinyoung taught him that you can't have anything by just snapping a finger. Because things are not as easy as what he used to see it. 

Specially when it includes emotion and feelings. 

 Jinyoung taught him that love is not easy, too.

Love is rather hard and complicated. If only Jinyoung likes him the way he likes the latter,  then it probably easier than he thought it would be.  But with love like this nothing comes easy. 

He knew how  Jinyoung hated him, thus, he promised himself to work hard to gain the boy's love. He found it challenging at first considering he love challenges. But as time flew by, he found himself getting deeper till insecurities grow and all he could think of is make Jinyoung his, before someone destroy his chance and by that someone comes to the name of Im Jaebum.   

Mark wasn't exaggerating things, but he's seen it. The way Jinyoung talks to Jaebum.  The way he looks at Jaebum. Jinyoung looks at him, too.  But never with such profound fondness.  Mark wants that look directed at him, but Jinyoung Only made him longed for it. 

He wants to think it was just  one of his imaginations. He's just getting paranoid over things because of his growing love for Jinyoung and at some point,  he  thinks it's kind of scary cause as the time past, it gets harder for him to cope with the sight of Jinyoung being too comfortable with Jaebum. 

  A pang in his chest was always the result everytime he sees the two together.  

Being in love is a new feeling to him, but he's not naive to know the indications. He's in love. There's no doubt at that. But the fact that Jinyoung doesn't like him in the first place scares him. If it wasn't love, why wwould he be scared to lose someone? 

 Why does Im Jaebum always makes him feel insecure?

 Why  does Jinyoung makes him feel like he's not good enough?

  " When will you be my boyfriend?" He asked the same question for numerous times. Call him desperate,  Mark didn't care.  He needs to get Jinyoung to say yes soon.   Unfortunately,  Jinyoung did nothing but to dodged this question so you can't really blame him for being this desperate. 

   He doesn't understand why Jinyoung always dodged his question though. Mark's pretty sure they went to decent dates and he was sure Jinyoung enjoyed every single time of it so why?  was he just assuming things? 

  " I will be your boyfriend once you pass your exams " Jinyoung  breaks his thoughts as he pop a snack in his mouth. Mark open his mouth when the boy urge him to and feed him a piece of the said snack. Mark delightfully accept the crispy snack.  The sound of it crumbling in his mouth echoed in his ears like Jinyoung’s words.   He ponders whilst munching the crackers in his mouth.

  His exams are most probably  next week. If he's to agree with Jinyoung's condition, he's gonna need to go through a lot of studying which he never did. He's gonna need to stay awake late at night till his eyes turn into something like panda's eyes or worse like zombies. He's gonna need to pay attention to any discussion instead of sleeping in the class. He's gonna need to  spend time in the library to read boring  books. In a short words he's gonna need to live in  hell.

   Anything for Jinyoung

 “ Is that a deal? " He asked. 

" No.. It's a promise.  I will automatically be your boyfriend if you pass your exams

That's all it takes for Mark to spend  every single second of his leisure time in the library.  Every morning after he dropped Jinyoung to his class he goes straight to his own classroom and read some books before the teacher comes.   He thinks History was the hardest and Math was the easiest. He only needs to remember the formula and he's got it all. Jinyoung  offers to tutor him but sometimes their schedules don't meet so Mark's stuck with  Yugyeom in the library every interval of the class.  

He rarely spend his time with Jinyoung now,  but  it's okay since he'll get to spend alot of time with him after he passed the exams. 

That thought itself boost his  determination  to do better even though he's a little bothered because not spending time with Jinyoung means he can't keep an eye on him. But since he asked Youngjae to do that for him he's kind of relief.  

 He was still in the library when he got a call from Youngjae.    The other told him that Jinyoung's waiting for him in the near coffee shop from the campus  that had Mark storming out of the library. Because it is a rare thing. 

 It took him 10 minutes to arrive at his destination. Jinyoung was indeed waiting for him inside the coffe shop and waves at him as soon as he cast a sight of him. Mark didn't manage to fixed his dishevelled hair. Jinyoung did it for him  though. But soon the latter retracted his hand  probably realize what he was doing. 

 Jinyoung already ordered for them since he was hungry and Mark raised his brow at him  

" I thought you had lunch already " 

 "  I was waiting for you, but you choose staying in the library than eating with me so I skip it  " Jinyoung complains and it amuse Mark. 

 " I didn't thought you'd wait for me.. Please next time don't skip your lunch. Skipping lunch is bad for your health " Mark says utterly amuse at the displayed aegyo. It was rare for him to see Jinyoung acting like this specially directly at him. That set Mark's heart to race fast Jinyoung probably didn't notice,  but he sounded like a whining boyfriend.  

Boyfriend. 

Mark really like the sound of that. 

" Says someone who always skip lunch " Jinyoung retorts " I did wait for you.  I should have listen to Jaebum hyung to eat without you " Mark's smile swiftly fade at the mention of Jaebum's name. It  spiked another pang in his chest ' Jaebum hyung '

When will you call me in the same manner?

  ****

 Two more days before the exam. It wasn't Mark's first time taking exam, but it was his first time taking it seriously. This exam was literally different from all those