Kyungsoo wakes up with a throbbing pain in his stomach. It’s so intense he has to run to the bathroom and throw up. He’s in so much pain he can’t even stand up when he’s finished and has to call for his manager, who appears a moment or two later. He realizes soon enough that getting up was just the start, because his legs are shaking and he has to cling onto the older male as they move over to the bedroom. Kyungsoo feels sweaty and ill once he’s back in his bed.

“I’m going to make some calls, and then we’ll go to the hospital.” Kyungsoo says nothing as he lays there, his body throbbing in pain and with a headache that’s driving him crazy. He’s not felt this bad in years. In fact. He can’t remember that he’s ever been this sick before. And so whilst he waits to leave, Kyungsoo listens in on the conversation his manager is having and wonders what will happen with the drama filming. To postpone it seems out of the question, and there’s a fleeting moment where he thinks he has to show up at the sight and film nonetheless. Because of that he hopes this situation will be resolved quickly.

Kyungsoo’s belief that his condition is due to fatigue and stress is confirmed at the hospital, where the doctor gives him a stern look and tells him that he has to take better care of himself. You can’t go on like this, the man says before he adds, or you’re at risk of permanently damaging your body. Kyungsoo agrees that his lifestyle could have been better. But he’s got no decision over his schedules. They’re there for him to take care off, and he knows his CEO wouldn’t like if he had to cut down on his activities. Of course it’s all because of money. The more money he cash in the better. Then again. It’s like that for all companies. They need to make money to go around. Plus. Receiving invitations from shows when you’re from a small Entertainment is hard. It’s even more difficult now when the competition is fierce. Which means he’s got no option but to do whatever he’s told or someone else will take his spot.

There’s always going to be others there to take your spot.

“I want you to rest a couple of days without doing anything that causes more stress. Also I need you to eat, to gain some more weight because you are dangerously close to being underweight right now.” There’s protests almost immediately. Not from him, but from his manager, who’s been next to him ever since they arrived.

“That’s not possible. He has obligations, responsibility against his schedule. He’ll break his contract if he doesn’t follow through.” It’s all true. Kyungsoo’s very well informed about what might happen if he were to breach his contract. Not only with his company, but with the drama as well. He doesn’t want to get sued as it would create trouble not only for himself but for his CEO, too. He’d most likely not be given the opportunity to star in a drama ever again in fear that he would not follow through with his responsibilities. A terrifying thought considering he’s a rookie and won’t get many chances.

“You don’t seem to understand. His health is at stake if he continues like this.” It terrifies him to be given an ultimatum like that when he’s got no other choice but to continue like usual. Kyungsoo has no other option but to go through with the filming because so many people depend on him to do his work. In other words, he can’t quit.

“Can’t you give him some pills to take or something. Anything is fine really.” Kyungsoo’s perplexed at what he should do. Not that he’s got much to choose between, although he likes to think so. He want to believe that he can decide what he wants to do. The reality is different though, for what’s going to happen is not up to him to decide. His manager is first and foremost the person who makes the decisions, even though they are mostly handed down to him from the CEO. And Kyungsoo soon finds himself in the van and with his head throbbing. The nutrition he got through IV were going to take some time and he wasn’t so sure if it was enough to relieve him of his headache. It seemed to matter less as his manager steered the vehicle back to the apartment, where Kyungsoo was ordered to shower and dress before they once again took off. This time to the set of the drama filming.

“Do you want anything to eat before we get there?” Kyungsoo can barely believe what he’s hearing and has to ask the older man to repeat himself. It’s a bit surreal, he thinks. But he’s nonetheless happy because he’s hungry and decide that he wants something fat and salt and . . . his mouth is watering at the thought of sinking his teeth into a hamburger. And so he tells his manager that he want just that. A hamburger, fries, and a soda. Kyungsoo can’t even remember the last time he ate something as unhealthy as that.

His whole being sighs in content as he bites into the burger. It’s an explosion of tastes and Kyungsoo feels like he’s entered heaven. He thinks it’s a bit funny considering how he wasn’t so fond of the said fast food when he was younger. But it’s different now, for all he eat is salad and chicken and sometimes few bits of red meat. Usually a rather bland mixture. Maybe that’s why he enjoy those few times he can get whatever he want so much. Because they are so rare. And because they remember him of the time before he was Do Kyungsoo the idol.

His remembrance of a time that used to be ends once he’s aware of the fact that they’ve arrived at the location.

Kyungsoo stumbles out of the vehicle, his legs wobbly as he tries to stable himself. The whole ordeal is unsettling and he feels a wave of nausea whilst he does his best to keep standing. His head is heavy and he has to gulp numerous times to keep the contents in his stomach from rushing up his throat. It’s as far from an ideal situation and Kyungsoo glances in the direction of his manager. It should be obvious that he isn’t fit to film, but the older man disregard the signs. Instead Kyungsoo’s told to get a grip of himself.

Standing there, he’s suddenly hit with the realization that he can’t do anything. Because although he’s got two options, whereas one so out of the question it leaves him without choice. Either he could sucumb to his pain and collapse, which would lead to another visit to the hospital and most likely a torrent of angry and irritated words sent his way. It was the least desirable of the options, and one Kyungsoo knew he couldn’t choose. Which meant he pulled himself together, headed over to get dressed, and then simply endured it as best as he possibly could.

It was all okay in the beginning. The recording ran smoothly, too, and Kyungsoo found it relieving when the headache subsided. He was so sure everything was normal that he kept going like normal. Maybe he’d been too optimistic for the longer the filming progressed, the more he began to feel ill again. The headache returned, but far more painful this time. And to make matters worse, he was starting to get dizzy. This caused him great discomfort as he was trying to act and say his lines.

There was a light brush against his arm and he glances up and meet Kai’s gaze.

“You don’t look too well.”

Luckily, they were done filming and Kyungsoo hurries over to change his clothes. He wants to go home so he could rest. But his determination to hurry backfires as soon as he’s inside the makeshift dressing room, for the world around him spins and he loses all control over his body and plummets to the ground. His knees hit the hard surface and he can feel his stomach work. He knows what’s coming and manages to grab a hold of a trash can just in time as the vomit comes rushing up his throat. The foul taste of hamburger, fries, and gastric acid burns.

“I didn’t know you were this sick.” Kai states as he hands over some paper towels to Kyungsoo, who, once he’s done, wipes his mouth.

“Neither did I.” Not completely true, since he’s been feeling bad for quite some time. Which makes him wonder what will happen now. Dizziness, headache, and vomit. It was rather obvious something was wrong. Not that it meant anything because there was a slight possibility nothing would be done from his manager or CEO’s side. It makes Kyungsoo anxious and worried, for he’s scared that this might continue.

Kai helps him up and he’s guided over to a chair, where he takes a seat before Kai offers to get some water. Silence follows once the door closes behind the other male and it’s only then that Kyungsoo feels the tears running down his cheek. They’re warm and makes him painfully aware of the fact that Kai must’ve seen them. He wipes them away with the sleeve of his jacket.

His stomach goes to work again and he lurches himself out of the chair and crawls over to the trash can, where he pukes once more. It hurts. It hurts really bad. And there’s more tears. Ones he doesn’t bother to hide or wipe away as Kai appears, a cup of water in one hand.

“It’s fatigue, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo’s a bit surprised at the spot on guess. And even more taken aback when Kai sits down on the floor next to him. Another part of him thinks it’s not that weird considering there’s quite many idols suffering from it. It’s not even the first time for Kyungsoo, although this is far worse than any of the other times.

“I mean. You sleep when there’s an opportunity. Even if it’s just for a few minutes. You barely eat. And on top of that, spend pretty much all your waken time here.” Kai shrugs when Kyungsoo looks at him with an expression that says, I didn’t know you’ve spent so much time looking after me.

Kyungsoo contemplates whether he should reveal that he visited the hospital before he came. The decision is made within a few seconds. And that for the simple reason, Kai was looking after and taking care of him. Which he had no obligations to do.

“I went to the hospital this morning.” Kyungsoo laughs at the memory, even if it’s a laugh that is far from a happy one, before he continues, “the doctor told me to take a few days off. Like that’s even a possibility.” Kyungsoo frowns when he remembers the argument that broke out between the said doctor and his manager. He sighs, only to cough when there’s a sudden burn in his throat.

“I’ll go get some more water.” Kai’s right about to stand when he’s restrained by Kyungsoo, who’s latched onto his wrist. It’s an action so unexpected Kai can’t help but stare at the other. Their eye contact says more than enough and he stays seated. He’s really not used to seeing this side of Kyungsoo. Whom he finds rather withdrawn and cautious most of the time.

“Do y -.” Kai is interrupted when the door is slung open and Kyungsoo’s manager comes into view.

“What are you doing on the floor? Actually, nevermind.” And just like that Kyungsoo’s torn from the moment. He can’t set himself against his manager and therefore, on shaky legs, get to his feet. He is still a bit dizzy and staggers forward right into Kai, who manages to wrap an arm around Kyungsoo’s waist and thus stop the other from collapsing. Any other time, this would have been an embarrassing occurrence for Kyungsoo. But not this time. Not now. Because he got a feeling Kai was the only one who showed some concern for him.

Something his manager didn’t nowadays.

Leaning against Kai, the two of them make their way over to Kyungsoo’s van. The sight is not only unusual, but he’s still wearing the high school uniform. A problem one might think. But somehow this goes unnoticed by staff and Kyungsoo thanks the younger male once he’s seated in the vehicle.

“No worries.” Kai smiles and they bid goodbye to each other.

Kyungsoo heads directly to bed when they get back to the apartment. He couldn’t care less about the clothes he’s wearing or the fact that he’s hungry as he buries himself under the duvet. At least the dizziness was gone. Luckily for him, the following day was one of the few he had a day off. And Kyungsoo intended to make good use of it.