It’s five weeks into the album promotion when Kyungsoo receives the information that all promotions will end in a week. This means a slightly less hectic schedule. His drama however, was still on-going. It’s just started airing and he knows it’ll take two to three months before it’s finished. Although Kyungsoo’s a bit sad that his album promotions will cease, another part is relieved because there’s a possibility that he’ll get some extra sleep. Hopefully he’ll be able to eat properly as well. Well. At least more than he’s done the past two weeks. The lack of nutrition had even made Kai nervous, something the latter pointed out a day when they were changing clothes. You really need to eat more, Kyungsoo. Your ribs are starting to show, was what Kai said before he went to grab a few snacks that he pretty much forced Kyungsoo to eat.

“People are praising your acting skills, Kyungsoo.” He glances up from his seat and looks at his manager, who’s on his cell phone. Kyungsoo manages a smile despite the fact that he’s so worn out he barely can move. He feels at ease nonetheless, that people don’t seem too bothered by his acting. Which was something he’d feared.

“Right. We need to leave for the filming a little earlier today so I would suggest you get ready.” Kyungsoo’s not delighted by the information but nods, thus acknowledging the other’s words. He’s so tired, so exhausted that he has troubles standing up. And it’s not long before his knees buckle under him and he falls back down on the chair with a thud.

“Are you alright?” His manager asks, his attention now on Kyungsoo. The latter wants to say no, wants to explain that he want to go back to sleep. And maybe, maybe just be able to eat something that could satisfy his hunger. A hunger that was constantly reminding him that he’s had too little to eat. But he does none of that and instead tries to stand a second time. It goes better but Kyungsoo can still feel his legs shaking. Fatigue’s taken a great toll on him and it takes him everything to not cry as he heads over to the bathroom.

Warm water cascades over him as he stands in the shower, his thoughts elsewhere as he hurries to clean himself. He’s not looking forward till today’s drama filming. For obvious reasons at that since they, he and Kai, would kiss. It’s a day he’s tried to prepare himself for. But it doesn’t matter because he’s still nervous and uneasy. Hell. It’s his first kiss and although people don’t know that, it’s going to be broadcasted on television. Kyungsoo hope it’s going to be a quick scene and without any retakes. That they’ll be kissing each other several times is already more than enough for Kyungsoo, who finishes his shower, dries himself off, and then gets dressed.

He and his manager leaves for the filming as soon as he’s done getting fixed. The ride over takes longer than normal because of the bad weather and due to traffic jams. Kyungsoo’s not too bothered by it, and he uses the extra time to get some sleep and brush up his lines.

The rain is pouring down when they finally arrive at the scene, and Kyungsoo heaves a sigh because he know they should have filmed outside today. What’s going to happen Kyungsoo doesn’t know and he stays put in the van whilst he wait for his manager to return. The latter is checking with the producer for an answer, for a solution. In the mean time, Kyungsoo surfs the internet and come across an article about his drama. He can’t help himself and click on the article even though he’s promised himself to not read anything regarding what people say. But the public’s opinion did no longer bother him as much as it once did. Maybe because of what his manager said earlier that morning, about people praising his acting.

I’m surprised at that Kyungsoo kid’s acting. He’s much better than those other two idols.

Kai and Kyungsoo look so cute together.

Kyungsoo’s acting might be better than Kai and Hoya’s, but I still don’t like idols in dramas.

Please, don’t use anymore idols.

Kyungsoo yah, you’re doing a good job.

Kyungsoo’s both embarrassed and proud at the respons. He’s especially taken aback by the second comment. It makes him think about the kisses to come. And as he sits there, Kyungsoo can’t help but to wonder what Seulgi will say. That’s if she doesn’t already know about the fact that her boyfriend and he is going to lock lips. Several times at that.

There’s a gentle knock on the car window. But it’s enough to side-track Kyungsoo from his thoughts and he push open the door.

“They’ve decided to go on with the filming.” It doesn’t come as a surprise and Kyungsoo steps out of the vehicle before he hurries over to change clothes. Kai’s already there and dressed in the usual school uniform. It’s pretty much the only kind of clothes they’re wearing, with a few exceptions. Then again. They are playing as two high school students and . . . Kyungsoo’s thoughts are invaded by the images of them kissing. He’s still trying to accept what’s to come. But it’s hard and he glances over at Kai just in time to see how the other male is looking directly at him.

“Are you sick? Because I’m really not up to getting sick. Don’t really have time for that.”

“I’m fine.” An obvious lie, but Kyungsoo knows nothing would change even if he told the truth. Being hungry and tired was usual for idols and one look at Kai said more than enough about the other’s well-being. Their trip to that norebang was yet another reminder of the harsh reality.

It’s still pouring down by the time they step out and Kyungsoo shivers as a breeze sweeps past. It’s cold and he chews on his bottom lip whilst waiting for instructions. His wish of not having to film in the downpour goes down the drain pretty quickly, and he sighs when they are ordered to the their positions. And so Kyungsoo walks over to the small café where his next scene will be recorded. It doesn’t bother him as much anymore, that people are following his every step and action. None of that really matters though, because all the thinks about when he enter the said café is the character he’s portraying. A character that, in a way, is kind of similar to himself.

“And action.”

Kyungsoo’s seated at a window table, slouched in his chair as he stares out at the street and the people passing by. Soon enough his gaze falls on the cup of coffee that stands before him on the table. Deep in thought he says nothing. The scene might’ve looked easy for someone watching. But Kyungsoo knew how hard it was to portray emotions without speaking. And with his eyes still glued to the cup of steaming coffee, he sighed. It was all a part of his character. One that was in a dire situation because he wasn’t sure what to do with himself, with his feelings.

An all too familiar laughter booms and Kyungsoo looks up, shocked to see Kai standing at the counter. He reacts immediately and almost spills his coffee when he stands. He’s panicking and is just about to leave when Kai sees him. But he ignores the other’s gaze and instead turn on his heel and head for the door. The rain might’ve ceased a bit, but it was still heavy and Kyungsoo feels a shiver run down his spine as he, in a fast phase, walk down the street towards the bus stop. Everything was going according to his script so far and he hoped there wouldn’t be any problems. A script that within a few minutes would make him really uncomfortable.

“Jisu.” Kyungsoo doesn’t turn, doesn’t even showcase that he’s heard Kai calling out his character’s name, as he moves forward.

He’s pretty much drenched by by the time he arrives at the bus stop and the shelter that’s only illuminated by a street light a few feet away. Whether it was supposed to be like that originally Kyungsoo doesn’t know as he takes a seat on the bench. But it does not seem to matter because the director remains quiet, and Kyungsoo knows what’s to come when Kai appears before him, slightly out of breath after having run the last bit.

“Why did you leave?” Kai phants just before he takes a seat next to Kyungsoo, who shrugs and refuses to meet Kai’s gaze.

“Were you waiting for someone?” And just like he’s been taught, Kyungsoo turns his head every so slowly before he looks at Kai. He tries his very best to look unfazed by the question, just like it’s written in the script. But it’s incredibly hard because all he can think about is what’s to come. And because of that the scene is interrupted as the director calls for a stop in the filming. Kyungsoo’s so certain it’s because of him and therefore feels a bit taken aback when the older man directs his attention at Kai.

“You’re too nervous. Your whole body is tense and it doesn’t work.” A bit surprising maybe, that it seemed to be Kai who was the most anxious of the two.

“Let’s retake it.” With that, Kai is ordered back and thus Kyungsoo’s left alone before the filming resumes once again. And it all works well up till the point when Kyungsoo turns to look at Kai. It’s something within him that says no, and he can’t force himself to close that gap between the two. His whole being is protesting and the filming is yet again forced to a stop. This time because of him.

“What’s the problem?” It doesn’t take much for Kyungsoo to understand that the director, and people around them, are agitated. Not only was he causing trouble, but also delaying schedules. It was time that was precious. Time they didn’t have a lot of.

“We’ll take a break and resume in fifteen minutes.” A few sighs could be heard and Kyungsoo gets to his feet, apologetic as he bows several times. He’s really sorry that it had to end up like this. But what could he do? The role wasn’t one he’d accepted himself. But rather one he was forced to take due to his CEO. No one knew of that of course.

“You two, come with me.” Both Kai and Kyungsoo listens and follows after the direction, who leads them to a more secluded corner of the set.

“You may not like what I’m about to say. But you knew what you were getting into when signing the contract. So, what I want from you two is practice. You’ve got fifteen minutes before we start filming again.” Kyungsoo’s body froze in place as it dawned on him, what the older male wanted them to do. How Kai reacted, he couldn’t know. Mainly because the latter remained unfazed by the words, as if it didn’t really matter to him. It did matter to Kyungsoo though, who, despite his own uneasiness, nodded. There wasn’t much else he could do considering that it might upset the director and the crew on set. Not to mention the scolding he would get from his CEO.

“I’ll leave it to you.”

To say the atmosphere got awkward after the man left would be an understatement. In fact. Kyungsoo found it hard to even look at Kai, who cleared his throat as soon as the director was out of sight.

“Is it that bad?” What was he supposed to say? That yes, it was bad because he’d thought his first kiss would’ve been a little more special. Not with someone he barely knew. Not in front of complete strangers. And foremost. Not with a guy. And so. Without even looking at Kai did he speak.

“Kind of.” There’s a second or two that passes before he realizes that Kai might have taken it the wrong way.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s more that . . .” Kyungsoo’s briskly interrupted by the other male.

“Because it’s your first.” It’s a statement. Not a question. And Kyungsoo directs his full attention at Kai. He’s looking directly at the other, as if Kai just revealed his biggest, darkest secret. Which, in a way it was. Well. It wasn’t the darkest maybe. Because that, that secret would Kyungsoo never reveal. Not to anyone.

“It is, isn’t it?”

Should he answer, or should he not. Kyungsoo isn’t entirely sure because he’s not ready for the reaction he expects to come. That Kai will laugh, that he’ll make fun of him. On a sidenote. There was no way Kai wouldn’t figure it out. And so Kyungsoo decides it would be the best to just tell the truth. It’s not exactly the end of the world and he’s right about to speak up when Kai takes a step forward, and thus closer to Kyungsoo, who instantly tries to back away.

“We have to do this.” Kyungsoo wishes he didn’t have to, but says nothing. Not even when Kai closes the gap between the two. They’re standing closer than ever before and he’s not sure what to do with himself when Kai leans in, and there’s a fleeting second just before their lips meet when Kyungsoo’s so terrified he can feel his chest constrict. It’s nothing more than a peck really, but it’s more than enough to send Kyungsoo’s pulse racing and he pulls away in haste.

“This is . . . I -” He’s not able to finish his sentence because he doesn’t know what to say. The situation is so absurd and it’s certainly not made easier when Kai gives him that look. A look that send chills down his spine.

“You agreed to this. You signed the contract.” The words hit him like a speeding train. He’s so close to break it to Kai, that he’s not the one who wanted this. That he’s simply doing what he is told. Kyungsoo doesn’t of course. It would be the wrong thing to do even though he’s certain, somewhat, that Kai might understand him a little bit better. Or maybe he wouldn’t. It wasn’t like he knew Kai well enough to know how the other would react.

“And I don’t want to get criticized because you won’t do what you’ve had weeks to prepare yourself for.”

~~

I’m really sorry for not updating sooner. But I fell down a staircase a month and a half ago and injured myself. I’m not healed completely, but it’s better. So. I apologize for that. And Merry Christmas to all of you =)

Och så vill jag önska God Jul till mina Skandinaviska läsare om jag har några ^^