Kyungsoo’s not sure how it came to be. All he know is that he’s trapped in the staircase between two floors at the studio where he’s supposed to film his debut stage for Music Core. The person standing before him frowns at him, the expression unsettles him and make him nervous. He doesn’t know why, even though the person happens to be a girl. Kang Seulgi, he thinks. The only reason he knows of her name, despite them both being rookies and from completely different companies, is because he knows she’s Kai’s girlfriend. He only found out about them recently, during the filming of an upcoming drama he and Kai are starring in.

“Don’t get any funny ideas.” Kyungsoo blinks at her words, not entirely certain as to what she’s referring to. That he shouldn’t see this situation as more than it is, or because of his role alongside Kai in that drama? If it was a bet, Kyungsoo would’ve put the money on the latter option. And that for one specific reason. He and Kai were, much to his slight discomfort, playing as two high school students who develops feelings for each other. It’s obvious Seulgi disliked that. Hell. Kyungsoo was not delighted about the role either. But he’s had no say in this. Being from a small company, he’s had to accept the fact that he might have to do some uncomfortable things. The so-called drama is one of those things.

“I’m not. . . I mean. I don’t have any weird ideas.” Kyungsoo’s cheeks flush and he avoids the girl’s gaze. He feels embarrassed and would rather just leave. But in fear of seeming rude, he stay put and thus lets Seulgi rant on. She’s warning him. He realizes that even though she tries to sound sweet. It doesn’t take a genius to understand why she’s doing it either. Kyungsoo nods though, agrees that his only relation to Kai is because of work. He can’t even remember if he’s seen the other boy before their run-in at the script reading a few weeks earlier. Not that it matters because he’s got no time for anyone at the moment. He didn’t even get the opportunity to call his mother the previous evening due to schedules, so how would he have any time for a relationship?

“There you are. I was looking all over for you. Come on now, you’re supposed to be on stage in less than ten minutes.” His manager’s voice interrupts and Kyungsoo is ordered to follow. He’s happy to get away, and misses the glance Seulgi send him as he goes. Several idols, most of them unknown, passes him by as he heads for the waiting room he’s been assigned. The room is of decent size with a couch alongside the wall, numerous mirrors, and countless of people running about trying to get everything fixed. Kyungsoo was no stranger to chaos, but this. This was something he’s got to get used to.

Laughter echoes in the room and he glances over just in time to see how Kai, who he’s sharing the room with, breaks out in a smile. Beautiful, he thinks, before he’s ushered toward a chair on the opposite end of the room. Make-up. Another part he must get used to. He doesn’t have much choice either, since it’s such a common thing amongst idols. Male and female.  

“Remember, you have drama filming after this. We’ve got to hurry because I need to get back to the company and pick up some papers before we head over to the filming.” This constant need to hurry did not get to Kyungsoo as much as it might have done to a less experienced person. He found it quite funny actually, how he’s grown so accustomed to the stress. It was a part of his everyday life now. Well. It’d been like this for the past three years. The only difference now is that he’s changed his schooldays and days in the practice room to days on the stage, in the car, and on various events. Everything else was pretty much the same. Wake up, rush to get ready, eat something on the way, and then go about his schedule.

“Can we get something to eat on the way? I’m starving.” Anything was good as long as he got some kind of food. It was painful how many meals he’s missed, or some days, skipped. He’s received countless phone calls from his mother about that. Lectures from the older woman about not skipping meals are fresh in mind as Kyungsoo sits there, getting ready to hit the stage in mere minutes. To further increase the torture, his stomach rumbles just as more laughter booms and Kyungsoo glances over at the people going about. Kai and his friend are joking, smiling, and having fun.

Kyungsoo himself feels like vomiting when a coordinator approaches, which means it’s his time to hit the stage. He is full of emotions when he’s finally up on stage, greeting fans that’ve come to cheer him on. They are few but nonetheless loud as they shout his name. He’s grateful for the support because he knows the industry is hard. Few manages to make it somewhere. But Kyungsoo’s determined, determined to show he’s more than just a pretty face. And the song he’s about to sing, he thinks, is one that showcases his voice.

The minutes he stand there, with the music pumping out of the sound system and with his voice that give the lyrics it’s life, is something magical. Unexplainably overwhelming. So much that he’s full with adrenaline by the time it’s time to head down the stage and get back to the waiting room. Kyungsoo almost knocks into someone as he walk, his head is swimming with thoughts and feelings and he feels a bit dizzy. Being on stage in front of so many people was yet another thing he needs to get used to. He can’t even remember if there’s ever been a time where he performed in front of more than a handful of people. Kyungsoo knows it’s a lie, but doesn’t want anyone to find out about that embarrassing event during a show in middle school where he threw up right in front of his classmates. The mental images of it make his cheeks flush pink and he dives into the room, as if he’s scared his thoughts are written on his forehead.

This time he does collide with someone and it’s not before long that he lay on the floor, limbs entangled and face planted against someone’s chest. Flustered, Kyungsoo gets to his feet and avoids looking at the male he’s bumped into as he helps the other up. The whole ordeal has made him uneasy and he apologizes over and over again, mortified by the sudden turn of events. It’s so awkward and Kyungsoo’s so embarrassed by it all that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. His pulse is racing and his hands feels clammy as he apologizes once more.

“Relax. I’m alive, see,” Kai takes a few deeps breaths just to show the other male that he’s fine and that there’s no need to start freaking out. Kyungsoo nods, slightly hesitant as he does, before he moves over to where his manager stands. The man grab him by the arm and Kyungsoo feels pain shoot through his system as the older tells him to me more careful. They don’t want any articles of bad behaviour to spread. Kyungsoo understands why and therefore nod yet again. He’s not stupid, of course he knows he’d be saying bye bye to his career if a scandal were to surface.

His manager lets go of his arm and Kyungsoo’s grimacing by the time he rubs at the spot. It hurts. But he’s got no time to wait till the pain lessens for he’s soon ushered out to the car that’s standing outside the building. Taking a seat in the back, Kyungsoo heaves a sigh and then proceed to lean his head against the window. It will be yet another long day of filming and he begins to count how many hours there is until he’ll be back in the basement apartment he lives in with his manager. It’s small. Tiny almost, and he always find himself irritated when they get back there because it seems as if there’s a problem with the place every single time. One day the water won’t run, and another day something’s happened to the drain so water is bubbling up the sink. The worst however, was an incident that took place the previous winter when the heater completely shut off during the night and Kyungsoo woke up to a nightmare he never thought he’d experience.

“I don’t think we’ll have time to stop and eat. Sorry.” His manager’s apologizing and all Kyungsoo manages to say is a simple okay. He can’t do much about the situation. It’s not like he can just ignore his responsibilities because he’s hungry. It doesn’t work like that. So with that clarified, Kyungsoo plugs his earphones in and falls asleep, the sound of a ballad lulling him to sleep.

He’s yanked back to the world sooner than he wishes and before he can speak, a voice blares in his ear. It’s his manager again, telling him that he needs to wake up and get ready. A yawn slips from his lips as he gets out. The area around him is filled with cameras, equipment and people. The one thing that really catches his eyes though, is the male approaching from the makeshift dressing room. Dressed in a high school uniform, Kai makes his way over to a table, which Kyungsoo notices is full with various snacks and drinks. Knowing he shouldn’t, seeing as he needs to watch his weight, he gulps and glances the other way. He can’t eat fast food.

“Kyungsoo sshi, why don’t you eat?” He’s flabbergasted by the sudden outburst from Kai, and he wants to hide behind the van when people around them look his way. Nice to see you know I’m hungry, he states in his mind. How it’s possible for the other male to know about his empty stomach, Kyungsoo doesn’t know. In fact. He’s so perplexed by it all that he forgets how he shouldn’t eat empty calories and makes his way toward the table of sugary treats. It looks delicious and it takes everything he’s got to not reach out and grab a bag of chips.

“Why? Aren’t you hungry anymore?” Kyungsoo shakes his head, tearing his gaze from the table as he does. He can’t jeopardize anything at this stage. Not unless he wants to have an argument with his boss. The latter whom have told him to watch his weight. Managing your looks is just as important as the music. Sad, he thinks, before he turn on his heel so he’s got his back at the snack table.

“You’re on a diet, right? It’s written all over your face.” He isn’t sure how he’s supposed to respond to that and therefore blinks repeatedly when Kai smiles, pearly white teeth showing. He’s got a beautiful smile, Kyungsoo thinks yet again. It’s the second time he’s thought about that in just a few hours.

“No. I just don’t want to stuff myself with that much sugar.” He wants to laugh at himself because he knows it’s all lies.

“Sure. Whatever you say.” A frown graces his lips as he looks at Kai. He can’t fathom why it’s suddenly so interesting to know of his choice to stay clear of fast food. The other male is an idol, too, and should know how image is such a great deal. Kyungsoo wishes it wasn’t like that, wishes that he could eat more than he’s allowed. But it is what it is and he’s got to accept that.

Minutes later he and Kai are ordered to take their places. The filming was starting and Kyungsoo was, after having changed clothes, now dressed in a similar attire as Kai. They had been doing this for a few days now and Kyungsoo’s begun to get more accustomed to his role. It’s not perfect. He realized that when he read through the script. He knows there are some things he’s not exactly looking forward to. Kissing scenes to be exact, and those when he and Kai are supposed to show intimacy.

He was actually surprised when he heard of the character he would be playing. Maybe because his company accepted the offer without consulting him first. A gay high school student. Kyungsoo remembers that he reacted quite strongly at that. Not because there’s anything wrong with being gay. Hell. You could love a tree or a washing machine and Kyungsoo couldn’t have cared less. The main point is; his company took on responsibilities for him without his consent.

“AND ACTION.”

Kyungsoo does his best throughout the whole scene. Sure there are moments were fleeting thoughts passes. But overall, he’s come to understand that this is an opportunity to show himself to the public. To make a name for himself. Any thoughts of backlash from netizens are nothing that crosses his mind for he’s promised himself to not take harsh comments to heart. Instead he’s focused on getting better. A person can always grow and that’s exactly what he tries to do every day. Get better.

“Cut. Cut. That’s not good.” Everything comes to a standstill and Kyungsoo looks from Kai to the director, who’s approaching them.

“You have to show more emotions, make it look real. You don’t only speak with your mouth. But with your body as well.” Kyungsoo knows this. It was information he received through one of the many actor trainings he’s been to. He spent nearly a year learning all kinds of stuff and yet he’s completely forgotten about such an important deal as emotions. The very essence that bring a film, or in this case, a drama to life.

“You understand? Don’t be scared to show emotion. Okay.” The two teenagers nod, they’ve understood the instructions.

“Good. Good. Let’s resume then.” Kyungsoo turns to Kai as the director heads back to his place behind the camera. Sure he’s prepared himself for this role, he’s watched movies and read in on the subject. But actually doing it, that’s a whole another story. Kai smiles down at him and his heart stops for just a second, why does he have such a beautiful smile, before he’s met with the words that he needn't worry about this. That it’s only for the drama. Kyungsoo really wants to believe that it’s that simple. However. He’s not been this intimate with anyone before. He hasn’t even had his first kiss, which now seems to be reserved for the male before him, Kai. Not really what he imagined maybe. Then again. There’s a lot of things he hadn’t imagined. Being an idol was one of those surreal dreams you never think will come true.

It’s long after midnight before the filming ends, and Kyungsoo is so tired he can barely keep his eyes open as he moves to change out of his attire. The makeshift dressing room is dark and quiet when he enters and it seems like the lightbulb must’ve broke because nothing happens when he moves the light switch. Great. Just great. He’s got to feel himself forward to where he thinks his stuff are.

“What the hell.” The voice startles him to such an extent that he gasps, his pulse suddenly racing. He isn’t sure why he reacted like that, but he’s relieved when light floods the room. How it’s possible Kyungsoo doesn’t know, doesn’t question because he can actually see now.

“It’d probably be easier if you’d turned the light on. You know, just a tip.” There’s nothing sarcastic over it, but Kyungsoo still feels a hint of irritating when he moves about to face the other. To his surprise he sees that Kai’s already begun to undress, his upper body bare and for Kyungsoo to ogle at. He’s not jealous per se by the defined abs that decorate the other’s body, but he knows he wouldn’t have minded having some of his own. Unfortunately he doesn’t find any enjoyment in going to the gym or working out.

“I’m not saying this to be rude or anything, but you might want to work on your pronunciation. It sounded a bit strained sometimes, you know. I mean. It’s nothing to worry about really. Just trying to be nice.” Kyungsoo manages a smile even though he’s a bit offended. Sure, he knows there are things he could improve. On the other hand. He also know Kai’s far from perfect. And you could work on your singing, he thinks. He doesn’t say it out loud though, and instead heads over to his clothes, which he hurries to change into just as the door open.

“Great. You’re both here.” It’s the direction, he’s standing in the doorway.

“I’d suggest you two to spend some time together. Just to get to know each other better and clear any awkward feelings you might have.” Kyungsoo remains quiet for he’s not sure what to say. It’s not like he’s got a lot of time on his hands to hang out with Kai, who, with most certainty, have schedules on his own to attend. He’s got to have to talk to his manager and see how they’re going to work this out. Hopefully he’ll be able to keep the few hours of sleep he’s got as it is. He’s slightly skeptical though, that it’s going to go his way.

“Great. Don’t disappoint me.” And just as quickly as he’d appeared, the older male was gone.

“So. . . Spending time together, huh.” Kai’s looking directly at him, his eyes boring into his. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to make of it, the glance he’s receiving from the other. Is he annoyed that they may have to spend time with one another? The thought crosses his mind for a second. It’s not like he’s too overjoyed about it either.

“Yeah. Seems like it.” Socializing had never been one of Kyungsoo’s strengths. In fact. He found it a bit bothersome since he wasn’t much of a talker. He’s tried to get better at it. Well, trying would be a more suitable word for he’s doing his best. It was easier of course, if the other person lead the conversation. And after what he’s seen and heard of Kai, talking doesn’t seem to be hard.

“Well. I’ll see you around.” Kai is gone before he’s able to reply. And Kyungsoo’s left, tired and overwhelmed. He wonders how they’re going to work it out with the suggestion about spending time together. They are not even under the same company, which obviously makes this further troublesome. Kyungsoo shakes the thought away. He’s not the one making the decisions and it doesn’t matter what he thinks. He’ll be ordered to do what the manager says. Whatever that will be.