Yoongi woke up, slowly forcing himself to try to fall back asleep until he felt a shooting pain in his neck. For the third night in a row he found himself sleeping on the couch and it was incredibly uncomfortable. He felt a body shift by him as he looked down and smiled at the sleeping boy in his lap. The whole ‘sleeping on the couch’ thing was unexpected, but happened because the dark haired boy insisted on getting to know him until the wee hours of the night with the TV quietly playing in the background.

~Three Days Ago~

“Yoongi…” The boy asked quietly resting his head on older man’s shoulder.

“Hm?” Yoongi hummed as he flipped through the channels, trying to find something decent to watch.

“I’ve been living here for a week now…” Jimin trailed off not finishing what he was saying. And I wanted to get to know you…

 Somehow Yoongi knew the boy wanted learn more about him but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to dump a truckload of information on him just yet. Jimin silently got up from the couch and walked into their room. He shuffled through a few items until he found what he was looking for, taking a next to the brown haired man, who didn’t bother questioning him.

Yoongi gave up trying to find a show and left it on some random nature channel. Instead he turned his attention to the dark haired boy. Jimin the worn bracelet in his hands until he looked up at the man, who eyed him curiously.

“This is yours, I never returned it to you.” He held the bracelet out for the other to take. Instead Yoongi shook his head and took the item out of the boy’s hands.

He gently put the bracelet on Jimin’s wrist and snapped it closed. Yoongi shyly smiled. “I think you should keep it.” So everyone knows you’re mine.

Jimin stared at the bracelet with a puzzled look. Doesn’t this mean a lot to him? He was confused as to why Yoongi would give him such an important item.

“You’re just as important to me as this bracelet is, Jimin.” Maybe even more. He reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair.

Jimin playfully swatted his hand away as he blushed. “But this still doesn’t tell me anything about you.” His face flushed more and he nuzzled into the brown haired man’s shoulder.

Yoongi sighed as he put his arm around him. It’s wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell him, he just had no idea where to start. He frowned as he thought of what to say. Where do I even start…

“I can start if you want.” Jimin quietly said to the man. His past wasn’t as complicated as Yoongi’s was. He knew that maybe it was harder for the other to tell his story because he had a feeling that not many people knew his past. Unlike Jimin, who had friends that knew him extremely well and had for a while now.

The man smiled at the boy and nodded. “I think that would be best, I have to sort out my thoughts cause I have no idea where to start.” I guess I could show him my diary too, I trust him enough. Yoongi gave the dark haired boy his full attention.

Jimin let out a slow breath as he started to tell him everything about his past. “Growing up I was always a bit of a loner, and I didn’t really make any friends until first grade…”

The six year old with fluffy cheeks sat alone and was crouching in the sand box pushing the sand around with a stick. The sun was shining on little Jimin’s face as he stared at the sand but it was then blocked by a figure. He looked up and squinted, trying to see the backlit person.

“I’m Zelo!” The boy squatted down across from him and smiled widely. Zelo seemed to be around the same age as him. His face was covered with dirt smudges and there was a band-aid on his left cheek.

Jimin didn’t say anything as he went back to pushing the sand with his stick.

“Can you talk?” Zelo stared at him waiting for an answer. Maybe he can’t.

The boy once again only made brief eye contact before looking down again. Why is he talking to me?

No one talked to Jimin, he was the quiet kid that never spoke. His classmates had tried to socialize with him but gave up and started to avoid him when he never answered back. Jimin was shy—he wanted friends but every time he’d try to talk it felt like his voice had caught in his throat. So after that the boy opted to play by himself. It was less painful that way.

Zelo didn’t give up, he wanted to befriend the boy. In his mind nobody should play alone. So day after day he’d come play with Jimin, talking to him about his day or what he learned in class. Even though the quiet boy never answered back, he knew Jimin was listening to him.

Finally about a month after they met Jimin talked to Zelo for the first time. It was nothing huge but the he actually felt safe around the blonde boy. He was friendly and wouldn’t leave him alone. “My name is Jimin.”

It was quiet and Zelo almost didn’t hear him say it. “Jiminie!” The blonde boy smiled and hugged the other.

Jimin blushed and pushed the other off him. “Please let go.”

After that the boys were inseparable. Zelo was his first and only friend. But two years later Jimin found out he was moving. His parents had found job opportunities in another country and they had jumped at the chance to make more money. That way they could get afford more things for their son. It left him heartbroken and now friendless because no one wanted to talk to him.

When Jimin was about ten years old he lost his parents—that nearly destroyed him. He hadn’t said I love you to them when they left for their trip, instead saying that he hated them. But he had never expected it to end like that. How could a ten year old know that was the last time he’d ever see his parents?

The boy heard a soft knock on his door. He had still been pouting about his parents leaving a day before his birthday. “Jimin?” It was his aunt probably coming to check on him.

“Yeah?” He answered with an annoyed tone.

“Jimin, I have something to tell you, can you come out?” Her voice sounded shaky.

Jimin opened the door slowly peeking his head out. There stood his aunt crying with a policeman next to her.

“Son.” The man said. “Your parents…they…they’re gone. Their car crashed on the side of a road and they were both killed on impact, I’m sorry.” The policeman bowed his head at the boy.

Jimin’s eyes widened. “No!” He pushed past them with tears stinging his eyes. They’re lying!

The boy ran blindly and didn’t stop until he was at the park and cried his eyes out.

“Mom…Dad, I’m sorry!” Jimin screamed out in a choked cry.

A month passed before Jimin went back to school. There were whispers about him in the halls as he walked by. That’s when he became the weird quite kid that didn’t have parents. His classmates made fun of him because they had always thought he was weird, but now took his parents dying as a sign that he was cursed. Which wasn’t true, but kids made up stupid reasons to make fun of people. In fact, maybe they were just trying to get a rise out of him because he was so emotionless.  

 He tried to ignore their whispers, but he wasn’t strong enough. Every day after school Jimin would go to the park and cry his eyes out. Today was no different. Jimin had been minding his own business as he walked down the hall to his locker. He was horrified at the sight that greeted him. There was ketchup smeared all over his locker to look like blood. The tears threatened to fall as he stared at it. Behind him a group of boys behind him laughing like hyenas. Clearly they were the ones who pulled the sick joke on him and now they were laughing it up. Jimin blocked it out, trying to forget about it as he continued on his way to class.

He sat down at his normal spot by the back window. It gave him a peace of mind as he watched the birds flying. The boys from before harassed him again by throwing crumbled up paper balls at him all through class. He always thought the teacher would protect him but that never happened. All of the staff at the school completely ignored how badly Jimin was treated. Even when he came in with cuts and bruises because the kids cornered him at lunch and beat him up, trying to make him react, to feel something they ignored it. They would just assume he fell. Every terrible thing ever did to him was ignored for what they thought would be best in the long run.

For four years the dark haired boy had to deal with people ignoring him and bulling him. The popular kids at his school would push him around, telling him to run back to his parents knowing full well that they were dead. It broke Jimin but he couldn’t react. It would only fuel the fire of his tormentors. He thought about joining his parents in the afterlife many times, but he knew they wouldn’t want their son to waste his life away. Every day he put up with it, feeling smaller and smaller until he stopped going to classes. His grades started to slip and he stopped eating. The teachers didn’t bother to ask the boy about what was going on nor did they call his Aunt, they ignored it like they always did. Nothing changed and nothing mattered anymore. Jimin just sat in his room. He wouldn’t come out or talk to his aunt when she asked what was wrong.

Jimin’s aunt became worried for her sister’s only son. She didn’t know what to do or how to fix the problems he had, but she had watched the boy deteriorate for a year now. Before she’d been so consumed in her own grief that she hadn’t noticed the light had gone out of the boy’s eyes. Jimin had always been shy but he was still happy. She remembered how they would make cookies or cake together, but now he seemed so lifeless. The only logical option was for them to leave town, and she vowed to get her nephew out of the place that the life out of him.

He was now fourteen and had moved over the summer. His aunt wasn’t home much because she was out job hunting and had asked their neighbor Jin to watch him. At first Jimin refused to talk to him but Jin, much like Zelo, wouldn’t leave him alone. His neighbor was the first to know past his past and his first love. The boy was afraid the older would be disgusted with him until he found out Jin was gay and didn’t judge anybody.

His neighbor was the second real friend he’d ever made and they got along well. Sometimes Jimin found him to be annoying because Jin had habit of being clingy and overly affectionate. But the red haired man only did it because he knew how the boy grew up. After years being bullied and not feeling much love from others, Jin took it on himself to make up for lost time.

 So on the boy’s first day of school he drove him. Much like a mother Jin got out on the car and hugged the boy, wishing him good luck at school and telling him to make a lot of friends. 

Jimin walked into his new class tightly gripping his backpack strap.  School had just started and it was everyone’s first year as a high school freshman, but it was incredibly terrifying. Would he make friends or would he be bullied again? The only person he had even talked in recent years was Jin, who was seven years older than he was and in college. His neighbor was nice to him, but it wasn’t the same as having friends his own age.

The boy now stood at the doorframe of his classroom, staring nervously at all the students. He soon felt someone push him in.

“Yah, don’t block the way.” The dark haired boy turned around and was face to face with a boy with bright orange hair.

The dark haired boy’s throat closed up and he looked down. Already making enemies.

The orange haired boy smiled widely at the other and pulled him along. “I didn’t mean it like that, it was supposed to be playful!”

Oh…. Jimin looked up at the other and smiled at him. The other boy’s smile was contagious. It made him feel safe.

“I’m Taehyung!” The boy stuck his hand out to Jimin.

The boy looked at the hand offered to his and gently shook it. “I’m Jimin.” For the first time Jimin answered with confidence. He had vowed to himself that this time would be different. He wanted to make friends even if he had to force himself not to flood with emotions.

“We’re gonna be great friends!” Taehyung never stopped smiling, but that made Jimin feel secure around him. The other was friendly with everyone. He would introduce his new friend to all the people he met—those he knew, and those he didn’t know. It boosted Jimin’s ego even more.

Everyone at this school was so nice. And that included Taehyung’s sassy neighbor, Jungkook. It took Jimin sometime to get use to the boy’s attitude, but he gained another friend in no time.  

Though Jungkook made Jimin extremely mad sometimes. He was a know-it-all and he hated it. It drove him insane when he bust would learn new information and go to share it with Jin, only to have Jungkook turn around and correct him if he was wrong. The elder would just laugh at them like a proud mother would but of course he also had to break up fights between the three occasionally. Their arguments were usually over something stupid like what to watch, where to eat, what to eat. Some things had changed over the years but Jin was always there to watch over them.

Jimin’s life felt brighter and he felt more outgoing with the help of his friends.

When the boy finished his story Yoongi had tears in his eyes. It pained him to know his baby went through such a hard time. It almost sounded worst than his past.

“Thank you, Jimin…for telling me, it must’ve been hard.” He kissed the boy’s head.

Jimin blushed. He was glad he told the older man, it was like a weigh was lifted off his shoulders. His past was painful but once he gained people along the way to help him it became easier. But the boy didn’t reply, his eyes had started to feel heavy. Talking his past was extremely tiring.

Yoongi could tell the boy was tired. He lightly guided Jimin’s head to his lap. “Sleep.” That was all the last thing Jimin heard before he nodded off. Smiling, Yoonig petted the boy’s soft hair, soon joining him in slumber.

The second night they ended up on the couch Yoongi finally made up his mind on where to start with his story – his diary. He had a habit of writing everything down, it helped him cope when he was little and he was happy he still had the journals he had written in over the years.

Jimin’s head was in his lap as he opened one of the journals to a random page, one that made his eyes widen in shock.

June 13

No space for myself. For a year it felt as if I were walking on thin ice.
I don’t know where I’m going.
The battle over my feelings and my anxiety with a deep sigh are over, like yesterday.
But I still cannot sleep at night. It was predictable chaos though.
I still can’t sleep at night.
I put myself in the jail of envy and bitterness.
And it constantly suffocates me. My future seems blurry.
My mind is possessed by the word, “Success”.
Something that I have to do and something that I want to do.
I’m Gulliver, standing in the middle of them. it. I don’t give a .
Did I achieve my dream? or Did I lose it?
I don’t know yet. Maybe I dropped my dream for success.
Behind my helpless smile, there’s exactly the other half of myself.
I’m crying. This is the evidence of my guilt for this identity.
Dream and reality…I became more indifferent but also more desperate.
The sigh of despair bursting out from my desire in music.

Yoongi looked down when he heard the boy gasp. I guess I can start with that.

“This is beautiful but so…painful. I can’t even image what you were going through.” The boy the page he was on.

“That’s just the beginning of my story…” The man paused.

When Yoongi was little his life was happy. His family lived in a three-bedroom house that was close to his school. His parents did all they could to make him happy. His father would walk his son to school and pick him up at the gates when it was over, his mother was often found baking cookies when he got home. It was happy, peaceful. Yoongi’s father had a stable job at a law firm while his mother stayed at home. On weekends his family would take walks to the park where his father would play with him, joked with him, smiled with him. 

Then one day something snapped in his father and he was no longer the man the boy had known. Yoongi never fully understood what made the him snap, perhaps it was because he lost his job and the stress of finding a new one weighed on him, sending him into a depression. Maybe it was all the cases he worked on over the years that finally started to surface. All he knew was his father would come home almost every day drunk and he wasn’t a nice drunk. In fact, when he was drunk he’d beat Yoongi’s mother senseless, moving on to his son when his mother passed out from the pain. But the physical pain didn’t break him. The fact that he could hear his mother crying every night did. Whenever he would suggest they move and leave his father behind, she would refuse. She loved her husband and couldn’t bring herself to leave him. His mom had hoped maybe he would change back into the loving husband he was before, but that never happened. The beatings continued for years and his father made sure to never leave visible marks on his son’s body. Yoongi thought about leaving and never looking back many times, but he knew he couldn’t. Not if it meant his mother stayed. It pained him to think he’d be leaving her behind to take the physical abuse his father doled out without any relief. So he stayed, hoping maybe one day his mother would leave with him. They never got the chance, his father lost it. Whether it was for life insurance money or relief from the pain he was feeling, his father killed his wife and tried to kill his son. But Yoongi got away. He lived but not without bloodshed—he had killed his father with his own two hands.  

It was hard for Yoongi. He lost both his parents and felt like he was alone in the world with no one to turn to. His family had been shunned so he had no relatives to run to. They hadn’t approved of his parent’s relationship, telling his mother that his father wasn’t a good man. That he’d only end up hurting her one way or another. Apparently they had been right about that one. He had never meet his father’s family either and he wasn’t about to hunt them down. He didn’t have any close friends he could turn to either. So at fifteen he wandered the streets alone, trying to find somewhere or something to call home.

That entry was the first. After his mother died he took nothing but a small suitcase with some clothes in it and left the place he once called home. For a year he felt that every step he took would make the ice he was standing on break. He had no idea if he’d make it alone. But he kept moving forward hoping that each new day would get better.

Finally a month and a half later he got a job at a restaurant. The owner had a small back room which he let Yoongi stay in until he found a place to live. But living in that room made him bitter, like everything he thought he would achieve had slowed down. He was going nowhere. His future was blurry and the young man felt suffocated by the demons of his past.

It took Yoongi two months of staying in that tiny room with no windows to find an apartment. The land lady had given him a good deal on the small space, but anything was better than his room at the restaurant. Every day Yoongi would get up and work at the bakery across the street, then go to the restaurant to serve lunch and dinner. At time night the boy would pick up trash at the apartment complex in exchange for lower rent. It was hard work and every time the boy came home completely exhausted. The days smelted together and he never knew where one day ended and another one started. All of this made him become indifferent to dreams and reality. He no longer looked to the future, it felt almost nonexistent at this point.

Jimin stared at Yoongi with tears in his eyes. “I…I don’t know what to say.” The boy already had heavy eyes, sleep threatening to come at any moment. It was incredibly painful for him to hear it, especially given how long it was.

“Let’s sleep, I’ll tell the rest tomorrow.” Yoongi yawned and kissed the boy’s forehead.

The next night the older man opened the journal to the next page to continued his story.

May 06

The tomorrow we’ve been waiting for becomes the name of yesterday at some point
Tomorrow becomes today, today becomes yesterday, tomorrow becomes yesterday and is behind me
Life isn’t about living along but living through
As you live through, you’ll disappear some day
If you keep spacing out, you’ll be swept away, if you ain’t no got the guts, trust
It’ll all become yesterday anyway so what’s the use?
I wanted to become happy and strong but why am I getting weaker?
Where am I going? I’m going here and there but I always come back here
Yeah, I’ll probably flow somewhere, is there an end to this maze?
I have a long way to go but why am I running in place?
I scream out of frustration but the empty air echoes
I hope tomorrow will be different from today
I’m just wishing

It had been a year since then and life seemed much easier now that he had found Namjoon. However, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, he still had to work three jobs and the days never stopped melting together. But it was a lot less lonely. When he felt like breaking down and giving up, Namjoon was there to help him through it.

Yoongi still felt as if he was running in place but he had to keep looking forward. If he looked back he knew he was going to fall. Of course, the problem was that he kept everything inside. He was never great at expressing his emotions and he’d bottle everything up until he felt like he was going to explode. The days continued on until Hoseok stumbled into their small home bent and broken.

Hoseok made life much easier for the duo. He was good at getting Yoongi to talk about what he was feeling and suggested he express it more by writing. The man had never tried that before but wrote every day after that, which explained all the gaps between entries.  

One thing he never wrote about was his uncle and the letter he’d written. He also hadn’t written about how he got in to a gang. Yoongi felt that some things were best left in the dark. If that story needed to be told, he’d tell it in person, not on paper.

Beginning the gang was hard. They made a lot of enemies along the way, but the group vowed not the kill anyone. None of them wanted innocent blood on their hands, not after what Yoongi had done to his dad. Of course, he didn’t want to have to go through that again either. The man was terrible but it was still his father, he had fond memories of him until he decided to change. That didn’t make up for all the ty things he did do, but killing him in self defense had been his only option. The gang made their way up the ladder, gaining members and losing them. Soon Yoongi owned a couple of businesses and finally caught a break. It was well deserved, but he would never forget what happened to get him to where he was.

Yoongi had finally finished telling his story. Somehow he felt lighter and warmer knowing that he could share it with someone else. Someone special. They sat on the couch cuddling until Jimin spoke up, wiggling from his grasp.

“Yoongi…thank you for tell me.” I love you. The boy was now sitting on the brown haired man’s lap.

“You’re welcome Jimin.” Yoongi push his forehead up against the boys’ then lightly pressed a kiss to his lips. It was quick but Jimin quickly captured the man’s lips again.

It was love coursing through their veins. They hadn’t said it but they felt it, their connection was already deep.

The kiss soon turned heated as the boy ground down onto Yoongi’s lap. This caused the man to roughly grab the boy cheeks and pull him forward. He bit Jimin’s bottom lip and on it between his lips, pulling away and looked at the frazzled boy in his lap. Yoongi smiled at him, placing another soft kiss on his lips before picking him up and carrying him to the bedroom.

Here you goes! Hope you enjoyed it. next chapter might be . If it is itll only be . So if you don't want t read it you won't have to. But I haven't deiced yet. Anyways yeah. xD

The first entry is Yoongi's part is So4More

The 2nd one is from "Tomorrow"