It was a month before Baekhyun thought of Chanyeol again. He had gotten a phone call from his manager inviting him to attend Chanyeol’s exhibition opening with the rest of the company in a few days. Since multiple of the company’s models were being featured, they decided to take Chanyeol out to dinner the night of the event. Baekhyun denied the offer, making an excuse about having a family involvement that night. His manager knew he hadn’t talk to or seen his family in years, but he didn’t argue, making Baekhyun worry that Chanyeol had told him something.

Baekhyun quickly removed Chanyeol from his mind, but on the morning of the exhibition, it proved to be much more difficult for him to avoid triggers. He tried to busy himself with weekend chores by cleaning his apartment and running a couple errands around town. But it was in the cold winter air that he thought of the night he and Chanyeol had gone out to the bar. And it was down the grocery aisle that he found the brand of wheat bread Chanyeol had used to make him breakfast the morning they had met. He couldn’t help the tightening in his stomach at every memory that surfaced.

Baekhyun got in his car, planning to make his way home for a quiet evening. He looked over at his car clock. 9:00 p.m., the exhibition had started an hour ago. Baekhyun pushed away the thought once again and started driving.  

Why am I even thinking about the exhibition? I am obviously not going…because if I did…that would mean something…right? He would think I was still interested…which I’m not. Not after I laid myself out to him and…he rejected me…hard.…I’ve moved on.

Even though Baekhyun continued his internal dialogue, he knew that their was no use in trying to convince himself…he knew he wanted to see Chanyeol…no…he knew he desperately longed to see Chanyeol. Not simply because of the attraction, or the hype of knowing a successful painter, but because he missed the presence he had in his life. He felt happier when he had been around Chanyeol, like some piece…some person…was finally in place. Even remembering the fights…Baekhyun couldn’t deny the connection he felt towards the other male…and it honestly scared him. He could receive to much hurt…so much pain from this one person…yet still be hopelessly devoted.

The time he had spent with Chanyeol had been insignificant in the grand scheme of his life… he had only spend a total of three days with the guy…but then why did he play every moment they shared together in his head, as if his life depended on it. He was feeling something for this man…something new…something he had never experienced before.

Baekhyun’s body was on autopilot and he found himself shifting into park…reaching his intended destination.

Chanyeol looked at his watch. 9:00 p.m. Is Baekhyun really not going to show up? He had heard from Baekhyun’s boss that he had a family engagement and wouldn’t be able to make it…but Chanyeol couldn’t help the tightening in his stomach when anyone walked through the door. He shouldn’t have assumed Baekhyun’s attendance…prepared to see him…only to be disappointed. He couldn’t blame the guy either…he had been horrible to him.  He had hurled Baekhyun into the tornado that was his passed…his present…and likely his future. It was only logical for someone to shy away from such intensity and complication.

Chanyeol stood in front of one of his paintings of Baekhyun…it was featured in the entryway of the exhibition. His eyes were drawn to the contrast of Baekhyun’s milky white skin and the dark wood of the stable. The way his arms laid with feather like delicacy over the top of the gate…the serene expression gracing his handsome face…the slight chisel to his body and Chanyeol’s overly detailed representation of his crotch…it was all flawless and he knew he couldn’t take any of the credit for it.

“I didn’t even know that you finished it”. A timid voice come from behind Chanyeol. He had been so lost in his own thoughts…his own fantasy…that he almost disregarded the voice as a figment of his own imagination. But then the voice came again. “You did such a good job, I almost feel embarrassed...all these people know what I look like in my birthday suit”.

Chanyeol quickly spun around to meet Baekhyun’s gaze. He couldn’t even contain the wide smile that spread across his face, but he was glad to see the other mirroring his expression.

“How have you been Chanyeol?”

“I’ve been well…busy getting this project underway”. Chanyeol wanted so badly to hug Baekhyun…kiss Baekhyun…just touch him in any way, but he kept his arms locked at his sides. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good…I can’t complain”. Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol could tell he was lying…knowing a more honest response would have been tortured…absolutely tortured.

“Well you look great”. Chanyeol kicked himself internally for his comment. Was that too forward? When he had practiced this reunion in his room previously…it had gone a lot different. He had planned on casually getting Baekhyun a glass of wine…charming him with he knowledge of the type of grape and vineyard it had originated from…introducing him to his sponsors and allowing them to talk him up…showing Baekhyun around the gallery and stopping at the paintings he included of the two of them together…!

When Chanyeol had decided to include the paintings he had created of himself and Baekhyun…in intimate situations together…he hadn’t exactly thought out how he was going to explain them to Baekhyun. Hey I had some dirty thought about you last night and decided to paint them…cool right? No. Hey this actually isn’t what it looks like…you’re just doing push ups on my bad and I’m….laying under you? No. Hey I just really want to have with you…but since I can’t…I painted it? He was screwed.  

“Chanyeol are you alright?” Baekhyun could see a bead of sweat rolling down Chanyeol’s forehead and he could hear his breath quicken.

“What? I’m totally fine…just a little hot in here”. Chanyeol started opening and closing his jacket in a fanning motion. He hadn’t had these symptoms of a panic attack in years, but this was feeling a lot like his old episodes. He could feel his heart beat increasing…his body temperature rising…his chest tightening…his breath becoming more labored…and an urge to run out of the room. He looked towards the exit, preparing himself to run…but then he felt himself being dragged into the single stall uni bathroom of the building. Even in his haze, Chanyeol hoped no one had seen them.

“Chanyeol! You need to take your jacket off!” Baekhyun locked the door behind them and reached for a surprised Chanyeol’s shoulders.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol backed away quickly, fearing any type of contact might just set him off even further.

“I’m trying to help you! You’re obviously overheating in that big jacket”. Baekhyun reached for Chanyeol’s shoulder again, just to be slapped away.

“Don’t touch me…it will only make things worse”. Chanyeol pulled his suit jacket off and crouched down in the corner. “I just need to breath for a bit…this happens sometimes”.

“Alright...I’ll just leave you alone then”. Baekhyun made his way to the door and Chanyeol remembered what spurred this panic attack on in the first place.

“No wait! Please don’t go…I want you to stay here”. Chanyeol had two choices: he could let Baekhyun roam the gallery without him, free to see the dirty painting he had created of them…or he could let Baekhyun see him at his worst…crouched down in a bathroom. Chanyeol didn’t know why he decided to pick the latter.

Baekhyun listened though…stopping in his tracks...without any questions. He crouched down on the bathroom floor…in the opposite corner as Chanyeol…and waited for further direction. He wanted to be there for Chanyeol, but he had no idea what had brought this on.

Author's Note: WOW! There has been an insane amount of subscribers recently and I couldn't be more grateful! Thank you all so much for your support and I am elated that the baekyeol.fics tumblr added this fanfiction to their masterlist! I will be finishing my semester in the next couple of weeks, so expect a lot more updates to come! However, I have a question to ask all of my readers: would you prefer that I make this fanfic longer and develop Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship further before I throw in the ...or do you guys just want it to happen within the next couple chapters? I had planned this fic to be only ten chapters, but then Chanyeol became much more complex than I had originally intended. So let me know how you feel in the comments, I absolutely love reading them and I will try to respond to some this weekend! Happy Thanksgiving to my readers in America as well!