Peeping

You stopped dancing in your chair as a total distraction completely took your attention. YongHwa was kneeling at your feet, sweat dripping from his temples, shoulders heaving with his escalated breath, clutching his guitar to his chest like he never wanted to let it go. You blinked down at him, and he looked up at you. The both of you sat like this for a moment, minds totally blank at what the scene now looked like. If anyone was walking past they might have assumed YongHwa had just finished serenading you. It seemed like he had put on quite a show just for a practice, was he trying to impress... you? Coming to your senses you remembered the other band members and looked up at them. They had paused also, still holding their instruments, and purely gazed on blankly at YongHwa on the floor before you. It seemed like nobody in the room was quite sure how to react to YongHwa's sudden unexplainable passion, or to the fact that he looked rather odd kneeling there looking up at you with his guitar.

YongHwa was the first to recover, he cleared his throat and looked away from you, over his shoulder in the direction of his band members. His face was slightly flushed, whether that was from the physical exertion or from something else you were not quite sure. Clearing his throat as if looking to reclaim his dignity, YongHwa then got to his feet, pushing off the floor with one hand and still clutching the guitar firmly in his other. He got up with athletic ease, and his jaw muscle twitched. He glanced in your direction but did not meet your eye then turned around to face his band members so his back was to you once more. He ruffled his hair and dropped his arms to his sides, letting his guitar swing from the shoulder strap. His band members looked at him expectantly, their mouths still gaping slightly. ''Ahem... I think we're finally getting somewhere. Did you feel that energy? I just let myself go with it, to see where it would take me. Now I have a better idea about where this song is headed. Did you guys feel it?'' YongHwa asked them breathlessly, running his hand through his hair with an air of misplaced defiance.

''Hyung,'' started MinHyuk uncertainly. ''That was amazing! Do you think you can do that again?'' he twirled his drumsticks in his hands absentmindedly, and then looked past YongHwa at you, but the expression on his face was undetectable.

JongHyun slid his finger along the neck of his guitar a few times, regarding YongHwa closely still. ''Yah, that really was something. We haven't seen you go for it like that since...'' he trailed off, unable to think of another instance. ''Well, you're never that crazy unless you're on stage...'' he trailed off again, his eyes moved towards you but stopped at your feet and remained there as if he didn't want to embarrass you by staring again.

YongHwa looked a little irritated, ''It's not the first time. I can go crazy like that when I get lost in a song. Who says I need an audience?'' he seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. He reached aggressively for a half drunken bottle of water and it crushed easily in his hand as he drank from it.

''Well it's not like you don't have an audience, hyung,'' said JungShin a little cheekily. He gestured towards you with the point of his bass guitar and grinned. ''Technically we do have an audience sitting right there. Isn't that right, ______?''

You were a little startled at being so bluntly addressed all of a sudden, and crossed your legs and arms simultaneously as if in defence. All eyes were on you, and your mind worked quickly back to your role, your purpose. Stay cool, stay cool. ''I may just be one girl,'' you replied smoothly, and your chin lifted as if on cue, ''But I guess I would count myself as your audience, wouldn't you, Mr Jung YongHwa?'' You directed this last question at YongHwa, as he had turned away as soon as you had started talking. It annoyed you. Was he really being that rude? Well you certainly weren't going to have it. Using his surname was sure to irk him, and you felt a ray of satisfaction as you caught a flicker from his jaw again. With that certain habit, he was going to be too easy to play. ''Would you like my opinion?'' you went on, in something of a drawling tone.

The other CN BLUE boys didn't seem to notice your tone, or your hard eyes on YongHwa who then took the same seat from earlier, but he sat in it sideways this time so that he didn't have to face you directly. MinHyuk nodded eagerly, as did JungShin and JongHyun. ''Please tell us, noona. Your opinion matters to us a lot! What would a cool girl like you think of our style?''

''Kreyo,'' you uncrossed your legs and leaned forward, drumming your index finger on your bottom lip in thought. You thought you heard a ''pshhh'' but if you did, you ignored it. Three of the boys waited eagerly for your words, one of them stared moodily in your direction, somewhat interested also but trying their best to mask it, looking pointedly disinterested instead. "Well I very much liked the beat, it has a very quick and energetic tempo. I loved the bass lines, they vibrated right through here," you patted your chest in demonstration, at a smile from JungShin particularly, "I think the melody is coming along quite nicely. It's kind of like... it has a peaceful feel to it, but all of a sudden it surprises you and becomes something more complicated. It never loses that energy, and I like that." You looked at JongHyun and smiled, "I think your part was also very sweet, those harmonious melodies you played on two and three strings." You then felt a rush as you turned to YongHwa's profile, as he had only offered you the side of his face. "The... other guitar was lacking a bit however." Your suppressed a grin as YongHwa's face suddenly came to life.

"What was that?" he said stiffly.

You twirled your hair on your finger, taking too much pleasure in this. You hadn't really thought his part was lacking, it was obvious from that display his skills were amazing. However he was showing off, and he was being rude to you, so you wanted to give him some of your own medicine this time. "Well, it started out natural, but all of a sudden there was this explosion and everything became all about the one guitar and the rest of the music all got a bit lost, so it sounded too messy. I think you should always think about your other band members, they were left behind so the end result was... cringe-worthy."

"Cringe-worthy?" he echoed. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

You nodded simply, and went back to twirling your hair. All members of CN BLUE apart from YongHwa suddenly became distracted with various things. MinHyuk coincidentally realised his high-hat needed adjusting, JongHyun wanted to check some notes in his manuscript on the stand behind him and JungShin became overly intrigued with the knobs on his bass. Only YongHwa was still staring at you, this time giving you his full attention.

"How exactly did you find it... cringe-worthy?" asked YongHwa through gritted teeth. "I'm just very curious, if you can point out the errors, I would be sure to rectify them at once."

Feeling challenged, you raised your eyebrows at the seething rock idol. You were surprised he was so easily goaded, but it pleased you. His stoic reserve was currently in a shambles, the emotion of Emotional, simmering under that otherwise usually cool exterior. Yes, his label definitely suited him. "You do realise you can't just dive into improvisation like that every time you perform that song? You'd never remember it."

"It's merely experimenting, I can take from it what I like. Whatever works. You'd be surprised, I have a very good memory. I'm quite experienced in song writing and composition." YongHwa's eyes flashed.

You leaned in close, "Oh, really? Then prove it. Show me this song tomorrow, when it's all done. Then I will see how you used that childish showcase to your advantage."

"Fine," YongHwa mouthed slowly. He flicked some strings on his guitar moodily. "You will eat your words. I'll show you exactly what I was doing."

Starting to wonder exactly what game you were playing at now, and if you had taken things too far, you stood up from your chair forcefully. You continued to glare at the band leader, second thoughts or no, you certainly were not going to back down. "I'll look forward to it."

"You do that," answered YongHwa coolly. "And maybe you would like to share some of your own skills with me some time. I'm dreadfully curious. Aren't you, boys?" he called over his shoulder to the rest of the room, much to your fury, "Do you want to see what this perfect, critical noona is capable of? She must be so much better than me."

There was a slight pause. "Hyung!" MinHyuk exclaimed, "Don't be like that to noona! She was just trying to help!"

YongHwa laughed humourlessly. "You would defend her, she liked your parts."

"Don't have such hard feelings," murmured JongHyun hesitantly. JungShin nodded in agreement. "We asked her opinion so she gave it. You surprised us all, but it's not something to take to heart, hyung."

YongHwa shot him a surprised look, then swung around back to you. "You've turned my own band members against me," he stated coldly.

Feeling a bit guilty you at your bottom lip, stopping yourself from saying something that would ruin all your efforts so far. You hadn't meant to be harsh, you knew you had taken it too far. Really you were just teasing YongHwa, getting a little revenge on him but it had taken a darker turn than you had expected. Still, you could not go back on your word, so you said nothing. Instead you your heel, keeping your face composed, brave. At the door you gave a wave to the CN BLUE boys, directed at the younger ones, entirely avoiding eye contact with the leader. "I'll see myself out. It was great meeting you boys, MinHyuk, JongHyun, JungShin... I hope to see you again soon! Mr Jung YongHwa, I will await your progress with this song. Best wishes to you, stay true to it. Or my regard for you may drop drastically." Your hair swung around your shoulders as you turned sharply, opened the door and disappeared through it, your face hot, your pulse stupidly high. After shutting the door loudly behind you, you leaned against it with your back. What just happened? Why were you fighting with Jung YongHwa? This provocative character was starting to get the better of you... You had to keep her reined in before she overtook your better judgement.

..................................................

The next day you were to be shown officially around the company, your allocated practice rooms, the recording studio, the lounges, cafeteria and instrument rooms. You were allowed to use any of these rooms that you felt you needed, so long as you gave adequate notice and booked them through the administration. This was to ensure that there were no double bookings, which were known to happen from time to time. You were shown around the company by a new temporary assistant, by the name of Park HanJu. He was a year younger than you, of slim build, had very large round eyes like marbles which made him look like he was either pleading or surprised most of the time. He seemed to try to copy the styles around the company that the idols were wearing, so his fashion sense was of k-pop inspired quality. Not one hair was out of place, it was smooth and shiny. Probably in better condition and better presented than your own hair. Overall, he was a cute little thing and you thought of him very easily as a little brother.

"We have staff which come by every hour to check the instruments," HanJu was telling you animatedly. He darted towards a rack of guitars, his eyes alive with enthusiasm. "They come to make sure they have been returned by whoever had booked them, make sure they are still in full working condition, clean them, and check the tuning. So the artists don't really have to take much time tuning, most of them check it anyway because they are professionals and can be a bit pedantic!" he chuckled, and turned back to you, beaming happily.

You nodded, your head teeming with all the nooks and crannies of the company you had just been shown. Could you remember where everything was? That would surely be a test. You knew in time you would begin to figure it out, and the whirring sensation in your head right now was sure to die down in time. "Thank you so much for showing me around," you said, not feeling the need to be that cool and dark ice Queen that you have had to be for the past 24 hours. There didn't seem to be much need around HanJu, he was naturally happy and good to everyone, his mind flighty and enthusiastic, it was impossible not to be swept along with it, and you were sure you didn't have to worry about him judging you or gossiping about you in any way. In any case, he had a small part in your experience with the company, his opinion of you really wasn't going to mix with those who really mattered. You were safe, that was for sure. Your temporary assistant, with him you could feel more comfortable, smile and laugh a lot easier. "I would be so lost without your tour! Thanks for taking the time!"

HanJu grinned at you widely, as if he was not used to compliments or gratitude within the company, especially, you suspected, from the pop stars or up-and-comers. "That's no problem at all! For you, ________-ssi, anything!" He stuck his thumbs up and brought them up to his face as he grinned adorably at you. Awww. You wanted to pinch his cheeks. At your laughter, he brought his hands back down again and straightened. "So, what would you like to do now? Are you going to stay at the company today, or are you going to make use of your day off somewhere else? I think... you won't have a lot of free time once everything really starts kicking off. So enjoy your free time while you can, _______-ssi!"

You put up your hand, "Please, you don't need to be so polite, just call me _______. And well, I think I am meeting up with my manager for lunch." You looked around the room for a clock and found one. "That's about now. I'll go... downstairs.... and meet him."

HanJu chuckled, rummaging in his pockets absentmindedly, "Where were you planning on meeting your manager? In the caf?"

You nodded. "I think that was where we were thinking."

"No problem, do you remember how to get there or should I walk you?" He checked his phone and looked up at you cheerfully.

You felt a wave of gratitude, "That would be great, HanJu. I don't really trust myself finding my way back that way on my own..."

HanJu chuckled again, flipped off the light switch in the room and showed you back through the door. You made your way down a few corridors, and back to the set of lifts you thought were in the opposite direction. Thank goodness you had HanJu with you. He lead you back into the foyer, and as the two of you rounded the corner you recognised the bright airy space of the caf he had showed you earlier that morning. 

"Ah! _________, you made it!" exclaimed your manager, with all his usual charm and charisma, his pearly white teeth flashing even brighter than usual under the fluorescent lights of the caf. He opened out his arm and gestured to a seat beside him, and as you sat, he also sat opposite you. He looked up at your assistant, "And who do you have with you today?"

"The company were so kind as to lend me a temporary assistant for the day, and any other time I feel I might need one in the first week of my being here. Apparently they do it often for newcomers, but not everybody uses them." You gave HanJu a smile, and he bowed and introduced himself to your manager. They exchanged greetings and made some polite small talk. After a short time, HanJu glanced at his phone and looked about himself with an air of distraction.

"Well _______, I think it is okay to leave you here now that you are with your manager. Call any time you need me. I'm around most days, and if you feel the need for an assistant, you'll probably get me," he bowed to the both of you again and left the caf.

As HanJu disappeared through the caf doors and the both of you watched his fashionable form report back to the reception desk, your manager brought out a briefcase and lay it on the table. "What a cute little young man, did you request him specially?"

You frowned at him, "Of course not."

Your manager laughed, then his face turned serious as he drew your attention to his open briefcase. Some important looking documents were displayed on the table, and he spaced them out with thoughtful precision. "Right, so it seems you have been given your first project. Inside these documents are copies of the agreements you have signed, your expected etiquette within the company, printed here for you to keep in case you ever need to check anything. Also, I don't think you read through everything when you signed did you?" as you shook your head your manager gave a soft chuckle. "Well here keep these. Now this other document details what is expected from your first project. It's called a project, but basically it is just your song suggestions for what you will be working on, the sheet music, the requirements. Because you are a newcomer, they even included a recommended time schedule for how to approach the successful completion of your first project. Usually the idols and musicians have had enough experience to know how exactly to spend their time."

"I thought that was your job, being my manager," you put in.

Your manager nodded, "To an extent yes. I do make a schedule for you but I don't control what you do with the rest of your time and how you finish your projects. So, your first project is to start working on some works that will be similar to your debut song. It seems like you are required to sing, play the guitar, and in one or two of these works, you'll have to learn to dance properly."

You cringed. Dancing had never been your strongest point. Your manager had dedicated some practice time with you teaching you the basics over your training period, but mostly he had focused on coaching your voice, brushing up your guitar skills, simple composing and working on the body so that you could also be in shape. These were all important factors in entering FNC, you had to get to entry level but it hadn't taken as long as you had anticipated. The dancing... was probably going to take a lot more practice than everything else. You knew you were in for a fair few late nights here at the company.

Your manager seemed to be reading your mind, he had a habit of that. "Now now, don't look at me like that. I did tell you what to expect when you joined the company. It's not like you will definitely be performing these," he added encouragingly, "Think of it as additional training. The company needs to know you are kept in shape in all areas of performing. When you feel confident in these areas, maybe you'll go through a skill check, some coaching. Then the real work begins, working towards your debut song."

You spent the next hour with your manager, going through what to expect, how to spend your time wisely, any other questions or advice. Lunch arrived, and the two of you ate quickly, robotically, as you asked all the questions you needed about the documents and the sheet music, particularly the dance routines. It was around three in the afternoon when your manager had to rush off again, leaving you to peruse your projects at your own pace. The waiter took away your plates and so you decided it was time to move off and make a start on some of these musical themes. It was officially your day off, but you wanted to take your manager's advice and go and get a head start on practice as soon as possible. The time you put into these skills definitely showed in the long run, you didn't want to get caught out just because you'd been slacking. You were aware of the life of an idol, and you weren't afraid of it. Well, lack of life more like. It was a fair trade.

Exiting the caf and clutching the documents tightly to your chest, you reached into your pocket and drew out a small creased square of folded paper. Opening it up you smiled slightly at the arrows, scribbles and funny little notes spread over the sheet in messy boyish handwriting. HanJu had drawn up a rough map of the company earlier, writing funny little side-notes like 'never go down this corner too early in the morning, you might come across the creepy grumpy old man,' and 'it's best if you leave this door open if you go inside because I have been stuck in this room too many times from it slamming and jamming behind me!' and also 'don't use this room, it's usually full of scary unnies for their practice. I won't say who, just trust me.' You gave a small laugh, and quickly looked around to make sure nobody was watching you. Keeping a straight face you glided purposely for the elevators and proceeded to the practice rooms on the second floor. According to HanJu, it was your best bet for a peaceful environment at this time of day.

Hours flew by as you spent your time in the small block practice room in the far left wing of the company building. You poured over your sheets, used the computer to search the backgrounds and found some YouTube videos of the compositions, trying your hand at singing them fresh. At some point you wandered into a instruments room and picked out a nice elder wood guitar with purple strings and started strumming away to the chords you were provided. When your wrist became stiff and your fingers became sore, you were feeling so relaxed that you started playing with some of the sound equipment so you could play music through the speakers. With this you put on a set of headphones, feeling like a true professional and tried singing and dancing as indicated in your notes. At first you felt a bit silly, but you soon started to get the hang of it, moving and swaying to the music with less care, more feel. The songs took a rockier edge which was more your style, and soon you were belting out the songs and prancing around the room like any other show-woman on stage. It was so much fun, you lost yourself in the mood and didn't realise the time ticking by. You stopped nervously checking the windows, as nobody seemed to be walking by and you gave it all you had, realising you didn't have to worry about onlookers. It was some time after this point, when you let all your inhibitions loose and completely forgot about the outside world that a figure did darken your window, slowly getting closer to the glass and breathing condensation on the glass as their nose gradually came too close.

_______________________________________________________________________

YONGHWA P.O.V

It had been a grinding day, absolutely exhausting. YongHwa had spent all night working on the latest song for CN BLUE, your words ringing through his ears every time the music stopped, or he put down his pen, when he took a sip of coffee, when he read over his sheet music. What did you mean his guitar style was messy? How could you say he was showing off, that he was being childish, and insinuate that he had completely overstepped his band members so thoughtlessly? He was always thinking about his band members, just because he took the initiative to lose himself in his music and experiment that one time, such was his process, and leave them backing him as he figured it all out on his own for a while, it didn't mean that he was taking all the light for himself. That wasn't a performance, it was his own creative process. Who were you to say otherwise? You didn't know anything. It didn't make sense that you were full of compliments for the rest of the band, and yet completely dug into him. Did you have some kind of dislike for him or something? After all, it was he who had composed the parts for his band members too, so really, you should have commented on the great job he had done in these areas, not just how well they played them. He scribbled on his sheet music in frustration, shoving at the desk and rolling backwards from the force on his wheeled chair. He needed another coffee. Such was his night. It was probably half past seven in the morning when he awoke with his finished manuscript stuck to his forehead as he raised his head to the door and his band members walked in. Was that two hours sleep? When did he nod off? He barely noticed the greetings from his band members and mumbled in return as he came back to his senses and grabbed quickly at the sheet stuck to his head.

"That look suits you, hyung!" JungShin or MinHyuk teased, he was barely paying attention and didn't quite know who had said it.

His eyes were racing over his late-night scribbles like a madman, chunnering to himself with such growing elation that his band members all looked at each other worriedly and then jumped, startled as YongHwa leapt from his chair with a loud "Aha!" he laughed like a maniac, and finally turned to them, his eyes refocusing. His band members looked back at him with open mouths, gazing at his dishevelled clothes and messed up hair. He had bags under his eyes, but his eyes were bright with excitement. "I finished it! I did exactly what I said I would do! _________ will eat her words! My solo blends perfectly with the transition after the chorus, and it's needed to finish up the song on the right note!" He rushed to his band members, and waved the music in front of their faces! "Now let's get to work rehearsing this mother!"

Barely having just set down their things, the three other members of CN BLUE exchanged pained glances with each other and then nodded obediently to their leader. "Nehhhh."

The boys spent most of the day rehearsing the song YongHwa had completed overnight. He stopped them here and there to perfect bars and lines where he saw fit, then launched them into another run-through only to be stopped again. They repeated this process well past lunch time, and it was late afternoon when the boys finally stopped and whinged that they were tired and hungry. YongHwa relented and allowed them some time to go and relieve themselves and pick up something quick to eat from the caf, demanding they come back within the hour. At a growl from his stomach he realised he should probably put something in it too, and trudged down the hallway to the elevators, but they were taking too long so he glanced at his watch and opted to run down a flight of stairs instead.

On the next floor below he heard muffled sounds coming from a small practice room at the end of the corridor and decided he'd take a peek while he waited for the elevator to reach his floor. He leaned his head around the window cautiously, the sounds becoming clearer with his face so close to the glass. It was you. You were strutting around the room, your eyes closed, swaying to the music in your headphones, drumming your hands on your thighs and belting out a yet beautiful melody that hit him in the chest. Without knowing he leaned in closer to the window, his nose touching the glass, his lips parted in distraction. You tried a few dance steps, they were slightly provocative and he almost felt the need to look away, but he couldn't. As you turned around to find your guitar, he quickly ducked under the window. His breathing had escalated. He stared at the floor as he crouched under the window for a moment, then turned and noticed he had missed the elevator. Damn. Guess he'll just have to run down another flight of stairs. That's what he got for being a peeping-tom. He scolded himself internally.

End Chapter Three