Something Ugly

After the FNC mixed artists show everyone that was on the VIP guest list was invited to the after party at a club on the other side of town. You weren't really feeling in the mood to be going to a club tonight, it wasn't your usual thing anyway, and it had been quite some time since you had last gone. However, all the other artists were going, plus some other big names both inside and outside the industry; there were also models, actors and actresses that had attended the show, and your curiosity was peaked at the chance of mingling with them, even if it was to be in a club. CN BLUE were ushered by their manager in a separate van, and it seems everyone else was making their own way there with their own managers or fellow celebrity friends. Since you were new, you didn't really have anyone to go with so you would have to take a taxi on your own. With this in mind you went outside and headed towards the taxi rank. It was really busy at this time because the show had just ended and much of the audience who had attended seemed to have caught cabs themselves. Not wanting to draw attention to yourself, you hung back a little and waited for the crowds to die down. It seemed so quiet out here, after being in the buzzing atmosphere of the FNC concert. The quiet was annoying you, as a particular person's voice kept creeping into your ears as if she was standing there with you.

Clara-B... she did not seem like a nice girl. But was what she was saying about YongHwa and her true at all? He couldn't possibly be dating her and you at the same time. You froze in your spot. Clara-B had even mentioned that she had allowed him to fool around with newbies. Was that relating to you? She must know about you... Did that mean it was all true then? She had given YongHwa permission to go around with you so that things didn't get messy for him and her before they sorted things out for themselves? You stared into the curb, forgetting that you were supposed to be hailing a taxi now that the crowds had died down. Your chest was aching, the world suddenly seemed as if it was far away. All that was in the world now was you, YongHwa and Clara-B, and at the words of the popular hallyu star, you felt as if you were soon to be cast out of the world and into oblivion. You had to speak to YongHwa... but you had to wait until after the after party. The party would not be the time or place for such a serious discussion. You imagined yourself causing a scene as you confronted him... spilling into tears, you wouldn't be able to help it. But your feelings for YongHwa were undeniable now. If he had been lying to you all this time, you didn't know how you would handle it.

Someone cleared their throat behind you and you looked around, startled out of your thoughts. Your eyes widened. A stylishly dressed, blonde haired cutie was standing behind you. It was none other than HonKi from FT ISLAND. You admired his work, you thought he had a stunning voice, and loved his dramatic style. He was also so adorable, with one of those incredibly young looking sweet faces that reminded you of a little boy. You knew that he and YongHwa were good friends. But why was he still here, at the taxi rank of all places? Surely he would have gone with his group in a van just like CN BLUE had. You felt dark all of a sudden. If HonKi could hold back and catch a cab like you were, then why couldn't YongHwa have done that too? Of course... it's not like he really cared about you... He's got Clara-B. You scuffed your feet on the sidewalk and turned back to the road to actively search for taxis that might be coming up the road.

HonKi cleared his throat again, and came up beside you. You slowly turned to him and he smiled at you awkwardly, bringing his fist he had coughed into back down from his mouth. He seemed about similar height to YongHwa, you looked up at him with polite imploration. He was standing intentionally close to you. Had he purposefully sought you out? As if answering your thoughts HonKi opened his mouth to speak, "You're _______, right? The newest recruit into FNC Entertainment?" His voice was naturally friendly, young and vibrant.

You nodded timidly at first, then remembered that you actually had a different label attached to you rather than your usual personality. You corrected your posture and looked at him squarely. "That I am," you said with confidence. "You're HonKi from FT ISLAND," you stated matter-of-factly, "So I guess that means we are co-workers now. But I haven't seen you around." FT ISLAND was another band under the FNC Entertainment brand, they debuted before CN BLUE and were of similar ideology and marketing. You knew that HonKi and YongHwa had known each other for a long time. In 2009 they had even starred together in their very first drama debut You're Beautiful. YongHwa as Kang Shin Woo and HonKi as Jeremy, they had made the cutest of pairs.

HonKi was all smiles as he regarded you. "Neh, that's right. It's a shame we haven't bumped into each other yet," he tapped the side of his nose, "I could have shown you all sorts of secrets around the company." He feigned nonchalance then and brought his hand back down, "Oh well. I guess you have other sunbaes to take care of you. You'll never know the secrets I know." He grinned at you as you laughed, then stuck out his arm suddenly and hailed the cab you had not noticed because you were too busy soaking in the easy charismatic charms of HonKi in person. Ah! And the taxis were so few now, after the crowds had gone. How long until the next one? HonKi turned to you, and again you felt as if he was reading your thoughts. "We're both going to the same place, why don't we get a ride together?"

You blinked at him in surprise and nodded in agreement. The two of you boarded the taxi and headed through the city to the venue of the after party. You weren't particularly excited about it, but you were happy for the distraction as HonKi chattered merrily beside you most of the way. "Actually it was YongHwa that told me to hang back at the taxi area," said HonKi suddenly, of his own accord. He looked slyly at you and you suddenly turned to look out of your window. "Usually I get a private ride, but CN BLUE had to leave first and their manager wanted to chat with them about something later in the evening they have to do, so YongHwa called me to make sure you got there safely."

You swallowed hard and shifted uncomfortably. "Why would he bother about that?" you said in a small voice, mostly to yourself than to HonKi.

"I don't really know," HonKi admitted in a louder voice, making you jump. "But to me... it looks like maybe he likes you." He then turned to scrutinize you carefully. "I guess that makes sense. You are really pretty, and interesting..." He leaned in close to you and reached out to feel the lose curl at the side of your face.

You pulled away from him, going bright red, but HonKi just laughed and pulled back again.

"Don't worry, if YongHwa has his eyes on you, I'm not going to touch you." He stuck his tongue out at you and went back to gazing happily out of his own window.

"I doubt that," you muttered, fumbling with your hands in your lap.

"Yah! You think I am that kind of guy?" exclaimed HonKi, looking hurt.

You held up your hands, "Aniyo! That's not what I meant! I mean... YongHwa has plenty of girls to choose from," you decided to do some fishing, since HonKi and YongHwa were such good friends, maybe you could glean some information. "Like... him and Clara-B, what's the story there?"

A look crossed over HonKi's face that you really hoped not to see. It was a look that said there was definitely history there. "Ah, kreyo." HonKi thought about that for a moment, and your heart was plummeting with every second. "Neh, you could be right."

"Neh?" you croaked.

"YongHwa and Clara-B were called the company's item a few ago, everyone was trying to get them together," said HonKi. "The reality show with SeoHyun where they did We Got Married together put a dampener on things though, but Clara-B still wanted to pursue YongHwa." You nodded weakly for HonKi to continue. "YongHwa actually went after her first," said HonKi thoughtfully, making your blood run cold. "I remember, he used to tell me about her when we first became friends. He said she was exactly his style, and he was going to make her his one day. If the company would allow it."

"But..." you tried your best to appear curious and objective, hiding the hurt in your heart. "You said everyone was trying to get them together... So... Why didn't they just get together?" It was hard keeping the accusation out of your voice, but thankfully HonKi didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Well it's not that simple in this industry," said HonKi, reinforcing a fact you already knew. "If a celebrity wants to date someone, it almost has to be okayed with everyone first. And things have to be done the right way, like, getting the fans used to the idea. If the fans react well to it, then everything can go ahead."

"Did they try that?" you asked quietly.

"Neh, the fans didn't react so well. Mostly YongHwa's fans didn't like the idea, and popularity dropped slightly for a while. Same with Clara-B and her group.  So they said they would leave it for a while and try again later."

You were silent at his words. HonKi looked over at you curiously.

"Why all the questions? Are you interested in YongHwa?" his voice was joking, light-hearted. However, it only made your mood worse. He didn't know the inner turmoil you were going through.

You ignored his comment. "Do you know if they are still interested in each other?"

HonKi shrugged, "I know YongHwa was crazy about her before. Clara-B was playing hard to get at that stage. These days... I think Clara-B is the one that's going a bit overboard, and YongHwa seems pretty chill about it. Actually, I haven't heard him talking about her much lately. As to whether they are dating... I don't think they'd even tell if they were."

"But you are YongHwa's friend! He wouldn't tell you?"

HonKi leaned forward and peered out of his window. "Yah! I know! Nobody trust me around here!" he laughed at that and then nudged you to point out of the window cheerily. "Look, we're here!"

You did as you were told and noticed that the cab had pulled up outside a grand looking building with many blinking lights. It actually looked like a nice place, it didn't scream gritty club at all like you had expected. You followed HonKi inside and were glad that you had an of sorts, that you weren't walking into a place like this on your own. Thinking of all the celebrities waiting inside, your mouth went dry with nerves.

When you entered the room you were blown away. It definitely wasn't the kind of club you were thinking of, it was more like a high end country club, but based on the outskirts of the city. The room was huge, the ceiling high, and chandeliers hung from the ceiling. The size of these chandeliers were about as big as your sofa back in your apartment. Everything seemed to be sparkling, the female actresses and artists in their evening gowns and stunning dresses, the lights, the glasses and silverware, the shoes of the waiters passing out orderves and wine. HonKi branched off to go and greet some of the big names he knew, asking you to come and meet them with him but you were too intimidated at the prospect so you drifted towards the side of the room where there were large narrow tables covered in banquet foods and snacks. You picked at some of the delicious selections on the table and accepted some wine from the waiter which passed you.

You noticed there were other rooms which branched off from this one, they were dark and lit with disco lights, you heard faint booming music coming from them and guessed these were the real party club rooms. You looked around for YongHwa now that you had found a place in the room and were feeling a little more comfortable. You didn't want to look like you were seeking him the moment you had entered, so you kept your gaze flighty, serene. Looking somewhat disinterested in the whole affair. Your eyes found him almost instantly however, he was in the far corner of the room with the rest of his band and his manager, talking to some other celebrities that seemed to be gushing all over the boy group. No wonder he has such a big ego, you thought to yourself with distaste. You looked away and sipped at your wine. And so for the next half hour you floated about and engaged in conversation with some of the other VIP guests that were kind enough to approach you and ask about you. HonKi came back to find you, commenting that you looked a little lonely and attempted to cheer you up. After a while of drifting and drinking and nibbling a bit more you decided to go and check out the club rooms, just to be nosy. They looked like fun, for those that were into that sort of thing. The smoke machines were on, there were DJs for each room and plenty of people were dancing in there. However you were not in the mood for dancing so after watching those in there for a short while, you headed towards the balcony for some fresh air.

To your surprise you saw that YongHwa was there also, but he had company with him. He was leaning on the balcony ledge with a girl that was wearing the exact same dress as you were. You hadn't noticed anyone dressed the same as you earlier. How strange to find that now. It was not actually a good thing to have the same outfit as someone else at a party, especially a party like this, and you suddenly felt embarrassed and wanted to remove yourself from the close proximity of your dress match. However, seeing YongHwa here with a girl made you curious and you stood near the door and decided to look on a bit longer. Was he really such a player that he was now with another girl? You felt fire in your stomach as you hung back and watched on.

YongHwa turned his head slowly to look at the girl beside him, but she didn't turn her head to face him. He frowned and leaned in close to her then, bringing his hand up to swipe the hair from her shoulder so he could see her face clearly. You thought you heard him call her by your name but you couldn't be sure and inched a bit closer so you could hear better. "Finally we get a chance to- Moh?!" YongHwa withdrew in shock at something about the girl. His face momentarily took on a look surprise, which was soon replaced with pure shock and confusion that made you all the more curious. "But... this dress... What are you doing in this dress?"

Clara-B turned around to face YongHwa, smiling brightly at him with sweet adoration. Oh of course it would be Clara-B, alone here with YongHwa. You bit your lip to stop yourself from calling out in anger at catching the two of them in the act. This was all the proof you needed. You half willed them to start kissing, so you could be the one to break them apart and slap both of them in the faces. However you wondered if you would ever truly recover from a sight like that.

"Oppa! You finally came to me!" Clara-B giggled and grabbed his hand, hugging it to her chest. "Shh, before someone sees us. Just pretend that I'm that nobody _______ for now."

YongHwa looked at her for a moment. He then reached quickly for her hand, holding it gently in his. Your eyes grew that much wider at this action. Without a word he glanced towards the balcony ledge, and looked back at Clara-B. "Do you want me to get you a drink?" You stared incredulously at what you were seeing right now, not wanting to believe it. She just called you a nobody and YongHwa was going to just let it slip and get her a drink? Oh... he was not who you thought he was at all....

There was already a half empty glass of red wine sitting on the ledge. Clara shrugged her shoulders cutely at him. You fought back a scoff at her girly act. "You can refill that one for me when I finish it, oppa." Another hold-in-that-scoff moment. She certainly was the bossy one, wasn't she? Well YongHwa deserved it if he was going to be disloyal, you thought to yourself bitterly.

Obediently, YongHwa reached for the glass delicately and brought the wine to her lips. He looked on sweetly as she closed her eyes and accepted the gesture. You almost turned to look away in disgust and hurt, as a build up of pain seared across your chest at watching the man you loved dote on another girl right before your eyes. However, you were glad you did not turn away just then, or you would not have witnessed what was to happen that very next moment. Just as YongHwa brought the glass to her lips, and Clara eagerly accepted the offer, YongHwa jerked his hand all of a sudden so that the wine spilled over Clara-B's face and dripped down her cheeks and chin onto her white dress. Red stains marred the pretty outfit you yourself were wearing, and Clara-B yelped in surprise, stepping back and touching her face as she attempted to blot the red wine which had even got in her eyes. She stamped her foot as YongHwa placed the glass back on the ledge, looking at her with a new look of contempt. She couldn't see through her blurred eyes, but her face was thunderously YongHwa.

"YongHwa! Just what was that?" she shrieked, flicking the wine from her fingers dramatically. She looked like a drowned rat, and her makeup was running. Your shock turned to amusement at the sight of her and you stifled a giggle at how hideous she had become. You felt a warmth return throughout your body, starting from your heart and spreading through the rest of you as you looked wonderingly at YongHwa. He had clearly done that on purpose.

YongHwa folded his arms and continued to watch Clara-B as she struggled to clear the wet from her eyes, dabbing hopelessly at the vast amount of makeup streaming down her cheeks and dripping with the wine onto her dress. His jaw muscle twitched. "What made you think you can call _______ a nobody?" he said finally, in a low voice. Although it was low, there was a certain waver in it which betrayed his exact degree of anger. It sounded as if he was boiling over inside and his voice was unable to remain level and smooth like it usually is. "Do you have any idea how insignificant you are compared to her? Nobody realises just how ugly you are. I have never met a more undesirable woman. You're all glitz and glam on the outside, but it's just your best effort to cover up the rotten core you have inside."

Clara-B froze at his words, she stopped fussing over her face and her arms dropped to her sides, clutching at her dress so tightly that her knuckles went white. How embarrassed she must be feeling, you thought. YongHwa's words were harsh, but they were true to home. You felt torn between feeling sorry for Clara-B, watching her hunched over like a dejected child. However, the fact that YongHwa had stood up for you, the fact that you had doubted him and been proven so utterly wrong right now also made you feel both thankful and guilty. Clara-B finally lifted her head,  meeting YongHwa's eyes with a pitifully pleading expression. "But... you liked me," she said, unable to accept anything different. "You were the one to chase me first!"

YongHwa blew out an aspirated breath. "That was years ago Clara," he replied coldly. "Before I knew what you were really like."

"So," she sniffed. "Does this mean you like someone else now? That ________ girl?"

YongHwa was silent. You yearned to know what he was thinking right now.

"That's it, isn't it?" said Clara-B, getting louder now. She brought herself back to her full height, suddenly seeming to recover with confidence at YongHwa's silence. "You know, I can make things hard for you Jung YongHwa. If you are going to pass me over for another girl."

YongHwa looked squarely at her. "What can you possibly do? Someone as desperate as you, as ugly as you?" He laughed at her and gestured to the state she was in right now. "If I'm going to reduce you to this over something only between us; just imagine what I would do if you try to get in my way next time."

Feeling humiliated all over again, Clara-B her heel and fled from the balcony in tears. She pushed past you standing startled in the doorway, and disappeared out of sight. YongHwa was looking down at his feet regretfully, he did not watch her go. Slowly he lifted his head and breathed a heavy sigh, turning slightly to face the door and then his mouth popped open and his eyes widened as he saw you standing there. "________. How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough," you replied and walked purposefully towards him. He watched you with an anxious expression as you crossed the gap between the two of you. When you flung your arms around him with no warning he let out a small noise of surprise, then hesitantly brought his strong arms around you and returned the hug. You breathed in deeply at his chest. He smelled strongly of cologne tonight, it was fresh and powerful. His own smell was mingled with the cologne, and you felt as if the planets were aligned once again at the familiar, comforting scent of YongHwa.

He didn't make any jokes about you outwardly sniffing him again like he normally did. He nuzzled into your hair and whispered in your ear. "Don't you worry about anything she said," he murmured. "She's just a jealous, bitter woman. She always has to get her own way. It'll calm down." You breathed a sigh in reply and he hugged you tighter. Then he let out an unexpected humourless laugh. "It seems like I have to protect you from a lot of different kinds of people," he said.

"Hmm?" you mumbled. "Like who?"

"Well there's crazy guys like HanJu for example... after what happened last night. I expect there will be a hell of a lot more like him cropping up sooner or later after your debut. Then there's girls like Clara-B, I'm sorry I have to be so irresistible. Girls are always chasing me... I'll try to be a bit less appealing from now on and see if it makes any difference. Just for your benefit." YongHwa's good humour was back, but he was babbling a bit. You caught onto what he first said like a vice.

"You remember what happened last night?" you asked in surprise, pulling back slightly to look at him in the eye.

"Neh," came the reply. He looked at you sorrowfully now, knowing you and HanJu had been friends and that it could never be that way again. Although, you knew he was happy about that for the most part. "I glimpsed his face just before you knocked me out...heh."

A wave of guilt swirled and subsided at his choice of words. "I didn't..."

"Oh you did," he grinned, and brought you back into his bear hug. "Such a strong scary lady. She can even knock out the very own Jung YongHwa. I guess I don't really need to protect you after all... You're a gorilla of a woman." He chuckled to himself.

You drew yourself up indignantly and fought against his strong grip. "I am no such thing! And you were drunk!"

"Ohh, making excuses. I think you like being protected," he cooed in your ear.

You thinned your lips and stepped on his foot pointedly in frustration. He let out a gasp of surprise and loosened his grip. "Yah!" He soon wiped the smug look off your face when he recovered quickly then and said, "That just proves my first point."

You stepped on his foot again and he hopped on one leg away from you to lean on the balcony ledge. "Yah!" he called out, "Someone remove this crazy lady!"

"I'm not a crazy lady," you said, hands on your hips. "I'm just a rock and roll rebel."

"Yeah we'll see about that when you finally debut," YongHwa poked his tongue out. "It's all just talk for now. I'm still waiting for the action."

You came towards him at his goading words, jabbing your finger at him and he backed further against the ledge, keeping a close eye on where you were jabbing that finger.

You got him in the stomach and he cried out with your long- purposeful poke, wiggling out of the way and desperately trying to avoid the next one that followed. "You've," jab, "got," jab, "a," jab, "big, " jab, "mouth," jab, "Mr Jung YongHwa!" Jab. Jab. Jab.

"Yahhhhhhhhh!!!" YongHwa's voice echoed from the balcony into the hall where the after party was taking place. A few heads turned around at the noise, but unable to determine the source of the noise they soon went about their business again.

"Come back here and take it like a man!" You chased after the handsome idol who was baring all of his interesting teeth as he laughed jovially and danced out of your reach.

__________________________________________________________________________

YONGHWA P.O.V.

When YongHwa first saw you standing in the door after his harsh words with Clara-B, resulting in her running from him in tears, he felt an array of different emotions passing through him within the same instant. He was rooted to the spot for the moment, trying to get a grasp over which emotions he was feeling the most, and for such an emotional kind of guy that he was, it was difficult to work through them. One of his prominent emotions was that he was appalled you had seen him speaking in such a way to a girl, as he was not proud of his words. He was worried both about how you took what he had said, how he had acted, and also at the words and actions of Clara-B. He was sure the whole scene you would have just witnessed was a horrible one for you to walk into. How much of it had you actually seen and heard? "________. How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough," you had replied, only mixing his anxious emotions further so he could only watch stupidly  as you walked purposefully towards him. He watched you with what he hoped was an unreadable expression, attempting to hide his anxiety but sure in himself he wasn't doing a very good job of it. He seemed to let down his guard when he was around you, so that you were shown more of him than he usually intended to share.  You easily crossed the gap between the two of you, he did not know what you were thinking, and he started in surprise when you unexpectedly  flung your arms around him, causing him to let out a small noise of surprise against his masculine will. However when he realised with this action that you were not mad with him, nor too torn up about the scene you had just witnessed by Clara-B, he hesitantly brought his strong arms around you and returned the hug. Actually he had been itching to hold you like this the entire night as you floated around the party out of his reach. It seemed like tonight he could not even catch your eye as you spoke to every other attractive guy at the party. However now his heart was settled again as he caught you sniffing into his chest, something you just always seemed to do when the two of you embraced. This time he held his tongue, just this once. He often complained about it to you, but he didn't actually want you to know just how much he liked it. It made him feel wanted, needed; by the only girl that seemed to matter to him now: wanted and needed, by you.

End Chapter Thirteen