Sungmin quickly turned his attention back to his picture. 

 

He had tried his best to convince himself that it had been an accident that it wasn't really his fault. But in the back of his mind, he had always blamed himself for his twin's death. He had never voiced this thought, and finally doing so brought it to reality.

 

He could feel his eyes stinging and felt a tear roll down his cheek when he blinked. 

 

Kyuhyun still hadn't said anything. He sat frozen, staring at Sungmin.

 

When he saw his own tear fall, narrowly missing the picture frame, Sungmin felt disgusted with himself. He was being held hostage, confessing a secret he had kept hidden for well over 10 years, and now he was crying in front of his captor. Why couldn't he be stronger? He had been 15 minutes older than his twin, and yet Sunghee was always the tougher one, always the stronger one, always there whenever Sungmin needed support. Why couldn't he be more like Sunghee? 

 

He closed his eyes when he saw another tear fall. 

 

Kyuhyun was unsure of what to say. He watched Sungmin as he started to cry. When he saw tears actually falling from his cheeks, he felt the urge to comfort him. 

 

He stood up from Sungmin's desk and walked over to his bed. He paused for a moment to gather his courage and took a seat next to Sungmin. Kyuhyun awkwardly raised his arm and rested his hand on Sungmin's shoulder. He still didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say to that sudden confession. He also didn't know how much he believed the small, fragile looking person beside him could kill his own twin. 

 

“It was an accident.” Sungmin spoke, although barely above a whisper. “I didn't mean to. I loved him.”

 

“It-It's okay,” Kyuhyun said, now rubbing Sungmin's back. “You can tell me if you want.” 

 

Kyuhyun wanted Sungmin to tell him his story. There were somethings about Sungmin that didn't seem normal, some of his actions. He hadn't reacted when Kyuhyun told him his house was being robbed, his room had not a single valuable thing in it, although the entire house was stocked with expensive and modern furniture and trinkets, and that fact that it was talking about his long-since-passed brother that brought him to tears, and not his situation, was a bit strange. Kyuhyun thought that his story may shed some light on this stranger he may just love.

 

Sungmin was gently rubbing the picture frame, hoping to get strength to tell his story, with no such luck. The children in the photo simply stared at him, willing him to make his own decision.

 

“We were five when it happened. I was older and I should have protected him...” Sungmin began, but his voice cracked. He had cried many times over Sunghee and his loss, but he had never spoken about any of what happened that day with anyone. He needed to be stronger if he was to get through it. 

 

“I want to hear your story.” Kyuhyun said, still rubbing Sungmin's back gently. He felt it was the right thing to say, to show genuine interest in a story that was clearly difficult for Sungmin to voice out. It seemed to work as Sungmin took one last deep breath and began again.

 

“My mom had just started to get us ready for a bath. She turned the water on to fill the tub while we were playing around in the bathroom with our toys. She said she had to get the new shampoo or something which she had left downstairs. She told me to stay with Sunghee and make sure nothing happened, to just stay in the bathroom and keep playing until she got back.” Sungmin paused to wipe his tears and stabilize his breathing. Kyuhyun seemed like a rock to him at the moment, a sturdy rock who was rubbing his back; it was surprisingly comforting.

 

“We were playing, but Sunghee realized he forgot his favorite toy in our bedroom. I told him to stay in the bathroom while I ran and got it. I-I shouldn't have left him! I should have stayed like my mother told me to!” Sungmin started to break a bit. His voice was cracking so uncontrollably now that he had to force his voice to work. He was trying so hard not to start sobbing.

 

“It's okay. It's okay. Just wait for a minute. It's okay.” Kyuhyun chimed in at the perfect moment, like he knew he was needed all of a sudden. He continued rubbing Sungmin's back, even venturing so far as to wipe away a stray tear on his cheek. Sungmin didn't flinch or anything when Kyuhyun touched his cheek, so he took that as an okay to wipe away the rest of his tears. When Sungmin continued to cry softly, Kyuhyun pulled him a bit to see if he was willing to hug him; however, when he felt the slightest resistance from Sungmin, he immediately went back to simply rubbing his back and wiping stray tears. Making Sungmin feel uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

Sungmin managed to steady his breathing once again and seemed to stop crying enough that he could continue. Within an instant of starting his story, he had made it his mission to get it all out, to finally tell someone about what happened, about his life, about Sunghee.

 

“I-I left to get his toy, but I couldn't find it. It took me longer than I expected. When...when I went back to the bathroom, Sunghee...” Sungmin's voice cracked upon uttering his brother's name, but he forced himself to continue. “Sunghee was in the tub. But he-he was under the water. He-he wasn't moving or answering me. I went running to my mother for help because I couldn't lift him out of the tub. She ran to him and pulled him out of the tub, but it-it was t-too late. Sunghee...Sunghee was dead.” Sungmin took a moment to let it all sink in. To fully take in what he had finally told. It was his fault, it was an accident, but an accident that could have been prevented had he 4ust done what he was told. He was a disgrace. He deserved the lack of love and care he received from his family. He was lucky they let him still live there. This is what he had forced himself to believe. 

 

“You were five years old?” Kyuhyun finally asked, when he thought Sungmin was ready to speak again.

 

“Yes. When I was a little older, I found out that when I was gone, he must have been playing on the toilet cover and slipped. He had hit his head on the side of the tub and was knocked unconscious. He drowned in the tub because I wasn't there to save him.” Sungmin said in a monotone voice. His tears had finally dried up. They dried up with the reinforcement of the belief that he deserved any harsh judgment he received from Kyuhyun. 

 

“But you were five years old. You can't really be blamed for something like that.” Kyuhyun tried to say gently. He honestly couldn't find it in himself to blame Sungmin for what he had done. He had been a five year old boy who was getting a toy for his brother, a five year old boy who wasn't strong enough to pull his brother out of the tub. How could he possibly be blamed for that?

 

Sungmin looked up at Kyuhyun. In his eyes, he saw honesty; he didn't see a mask of any kind. He didn't see the same look of horror and disgust his parents always gave him. Kyuhyun genuinely didn't think Sungmin was a disgrace. How could a stranger, upon hear his story, not look at him in complete disgust? His own family did, why not a stranger?

 

“B-but, it's my fault.” Sungmin said. He could feel his eyes stinging once again; however, this time, it wasn't because he was reliving that fateful day.

 

“Is this what you think? Who told you it was your fault?” Kyuhyun asked, looking straight at Sungmin.

 

“Everyone.” Sungmin answered nonchalantly.

 

“Everyone?” Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows.

 

“Yes, everyone. My parents, my grandparents. My younger brother, although he doesn't even really know the whole story. Everyone.”

 

“I-It's not your fault, Sungmin. Maybe if you had been there, you could have gotten your mother quicker, but no one can blame you for what happened, Sungmin.”

 

“What? But it's my fault! I left him!”

 

“You were five years old! You didn't know any better. Sungmin, please don't think this is your fault. No one should have told you that.” Kyuhyun was ever-so-slowly starting to put pieces together about Sungmin. He had said that his parents blamed him for his twin's death, and his room was the barest and didn't even seem to belong with the whole house. Sungmin didn't even have a reaction to his house being robbed. Kyuhyun started to think that Sungmin was in a bad state. 

 

Sungmin had fallen quiet, once again. He returned his gaze to the photo, which he continued to rub lovingly. 

 

“Sungmin? Your parents told you it was your fault your brother died?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

Sungmin simply nodded. 

 

“Do they still think that way?” 

 

Again, Sungmin nodded.

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

“They tell me everyday.” 

 

At this Kyuhyun fell silent. What kind of life was Sungmin living?

 

“Why don't you care that your house is being robbed?” Kyuhyun asked again. He wanted to keep Sungmin talking. Both because he liked to hear him speak and because he didn't want him to feel alone or forgotten.

 

“Because I have nothing valuable. I'm guessing out of everything your friend is taking, none of it is mine. Well...I don't really have to guess, everything of mine is in this room and nothing is missing.” 

 

“Everything you own is in this room?” Kyuhyun asked as he looked around the room. Again he realized just how plain the room was compared to the rest of the house. One light, one window, a closet, a desk, a bed, a nightstand, a clock, and a closet. There was an old guitar in the corner and a crappy laptop on the desk, and there was not much else. Even the furniture seemed ages old.

 

Kyuhyun began to feel depressed. Why was he feeling this towards a stranger? Well, he supposed Sungmin was no longer really a stranger to him after what he had confessed, but he wouldn't quite call them friends, yet. But still, he shouldn't feel this way about a boy he just formally met. At this, he remembered he hadn't even properly introduced himself.

 

“My name is Kyuhyun, by the way.” He said awkwardly. It seemed like the wrong time to throw that fact out there, but Kyuhyun didn't know what else to say.

 

Sungmin nodded, “I know. Your friend said it a few times.”

 

Kyuhyun hummed in response. The guitar in the corner caught his eye once again. “Do you play the guitar?”

 

“Uhh... I sorta... well, I used to, I guess.” Sungmin said, finally turning his attention away from the picture in his hand.

 

“What do you mean sorta?” Kyuhyun asked, getting up to grab the guitar.

 

“Well, it wasn't really m-Don't!” Sungmin jumped and grabbed Kyuhyun's arm to stop him from picking up the guitar.

 

“S-sorry!” Kyuhyun said a bit flustered and moved away from the guitar.

 

“I-it was Sunghee's. My dad had bought it for him and he kind of played. I mean the best a five year old can play. But he taught me a little. I-I just don't play it anymore. Just don't touch it, please.” 

 

“Okay, I won't.” Kyuhyun said as he went to sit back on the bed. He watched as Sungmin shuffled to the guitar and made sure everything was still in the right place. 

 

Next to Kyuhyun on the bed was the photo of Sungmin and Sunghee. He picked it up to get a closer look at it. The two boys looked so happy in the picture. They were outside and playing in a pile of leaves. He felt sorry for Sungmin again. This picture was proof that he hadn't always been this monotone boy who had nothing much of his own; he had been happy once. 

 

Suddenly the photo was ripped out of Kyuhyun's hands.

 

“Stop touching everything!” Sungmin said as he cradled the picture frame in his hand and sat next to Kyuhyun. 

 

“You miss him, don't you.” Kyuhyun simply said. It wasn't really a question, but Sungmin nodded anyway. 

 

In order to comfort Sungmin, Kyuhyun grabbed his hand to hold. He hoped Sungmin would be willing to hold his hand and not reject him, and he was in luck. 

 

Sungmin had begun to trust Kyuhyun enough to actually want his comfort. When Kyuhyun grabbed his hand, he held back, and tight. 

 

There was a moment of silence in which both parties struggled to understand what was happening, how it was happening, and what to do next. 

 

Kyuhyun was completely taken aback when Sungmin reciprocated the hand hold. It was such a tiny action, but it meant the world to Kyuhyun. It was as if the person he had been dreaming of the past few weeks was actually, really paying attention to him, and choosing to do so. However, he tried to remind himself that Sungmin was being held hostage and he was partially the cause for it. No matter how much Sungmin may seem to be showing interest, he will never want to see Kyuhyun again after all of this.

 

Sungmin was completely taken aback that he had wanted to hold Kyuhyun's hand. He was trying to figure out why he was so willing to trust the person who had assisted in holding him hostage. However, he remembered when he had looked Kyuhyun in the eyes; when Kyuhyun told him his brother's death wasn't his fault. He remembered the feeling of actually being cared for. Sungmin's subconscious had realized it before he had; Sungmin was reaching out to the first person who had genuinely shown any sign of caring for his well-being since his brother's death. And for some reason, it wasn't scaring Sungmin that this person was nearly a stranger.

 

Their quiet, peaceful pause of reflection was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by Kangin yelling for Kyuhyun.