She is so weak now leaning in my embrace, fully make up with her bridesmaid dress. We are now on the way to go to the last meeting with her and Kai which I hope wouldn’t be the last. “Lay…” I hum as a reply. “Let just say, He will take me tonight…” her index finger motioning to the sky “I need you to do something for me…” I look at her who is staring at the window. “What is it?” she smiles hearing my question. “I know this is stupid but I have a diary and letter for Kai under my bed. Can you passed it to him when I’m no longer here?” her soft and hoarse voice asked, smiling.

It’s the third day since God had taken Kai knight. He is still mourning for her. He keeps on coming to her room and stay there until he’s asleep. Lena is much of an understanding wife in this case, since she knows how much his best friend worth to him and since she too knows the unfinished love story of her. Today I decided to take the diary and letter in her room which she asked me too passed it to Kai, only to reveal his sleeping figure in her bed when I open the door. “Kai…” I breathe out. He falls asleep in her room again. Slowly, I approach him and shake him out of his slumber. He opens his eyes only to reveal my face. He sits and rubs his puffy eyes hoping the sleepiness would go away. “She won’t like it if you behave like this…”

He looked at me who sits next to him. “Do you know how she reacts when I tell her she is confirmed with last stage of lung cancer?” I asked, looking at him who looked like a lost puppy. I smile at this. “She smiles, Kai. I was expecting she’ll get shocked, scared or angry but she smiles and asked how much time left she had” There were silent for a while before I let out a chuckle. “I’m the one who ended up hugging her.” Silent creeps once again this time longer than before. “She has always been the strong one, didn’t she?” I said hoping I’ll get some reply from him. “To the point I thought I’ll never lose her…” he finally speak, and I can see a small smirk. Not to the word he utter but maybe to the meaning behind it, smirking towards his stupidity.

I relax myself by lying down on the bed beside his siting position, staring the ceiling fan. “I can see that. She is a lot stronger than what we all think” silent again, the room is now filled with the sound of the air that the moving fans make. Suddenly a chuckle was emitted from him. “Even that fat bully scared of her, that gangster.” He said reminiscence the past maybe. I looked at him who is now staring dreamily in front of him. I follow his gaze only to be greeted with their childhood picture on her desk. I look back at him and see him smile dreamily towards the picture. Will he smile like that if he knew the truth? Because I know I can’t. “She is beautiful isn’t she?” he said suddenly. “Her beauty is hidden under that tomboy appearance. No matter how ugly she looks to anyone but she is beautiful to me. I’m sorry that she turns out like that to protect me.”

“Don’t have to feel sorry. She did that all for you and I know that she don’t want your sorry if she still here.” He smiles weak at my statement as I keep on staring the fan. “She is willing to give up everything just for you…” “Sometimes I wonder why…” This time the silent went forever until I blurt out something that I myself not sure if I should say it.

“Because she had loves you”

Day: 1

Weather: Clear as heaven

Hahaha! I actually write an entry for a diary. WOW! I should receive an award for this. The actual reason I’m writing this maybe just to count the days though. Who would actually believe on this good and heavenly day someone is going to receive a bad news? Today is the first day I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Last stage because this cancer can’t be detected on the first stage, as what Lay the doctor proclaim. He said if I get lucky then I can still see the sunrise until next year.

“Yah! Wake up!! You have to accompany me to watch the sunrise!!” her voice went one pitch higher on the other side of the phone. I look at the time and it showed 3 a.m. I groan and ruffle my hair in frustration. “Watch it yourself! I need to sleep. Tomorrow I have a date with Lena” I scold her in my husky and sleepy voice and hung up immediately after hearing a ’but’ from her.

One of the memory hit Kai hard before he continued reading as his eyes start to get teary.

I went to Kai later because I think I should tell him about this but he keep on blabbering about his