It Must Be Fate

Welcome to Heaven's Gate (a U-KISS x After School drama)

Everyone was shaken after Jin Ah's intervention. No one dared saying anything. A few minutes are passing by until Mama finally speaks.

 

Kahi : I'm sorry about Jin Ah. Really, I'm sorry. I knew she was ready to do everything possible against us but I didn't think she could go this far. Boys, as you can see, this situation is far from being perfect. I already told you last time but I'm going to repeat it again. It's good for any of you, by the way... If you want to leave the Heaven's Gate, you're free to do it so. I'll understand and I won't hold you any grudges. The opposite, even.

Juyeon : Mama, I can't let you say such a something. There is no way any of us would leave at all. You have worked so hard, you have sacrificed so much for that club that it became yor life. We will never let it drown. Not me, anyway.

Ga Eun : And so do I, Mama. Especially after what you have done for me.

Ki Seop : I do agree with Juyeon and Ga Eun.

Yoo Jin : Me too. The Heaven's Gate can't be done. It's impossible it ould be gone. We're all going to fight for it not to happen.

 

She's got a conniving glance at Hoon and they both understand each other immediately. Ki Seop is noticing it but doesn't say a word.

 

Hoon : Me too, I agree. We certainly won't wait without a fight.

Soohyun : Yes. We haven't said our last word.

Kevin : That's true. Heaven's Gate, fighting!

Kyung Jae : If they think we're going to shut up when called deadbeats, society trashes and beggars...

Jae Seop : They're barking up the wrong tree!

Jun : Yes, indeed. It's far from being done with us.

Lee Young : We will show them!

 

Bekah is the only one shutting up but Mama knows deep inside, she wants to participate. She's only too proud to say it so.

 

Kahi : Fine. In this case... Let's show them! Wait and see how we'll make the Gorgeous Flames bite the dust. Bekah? Tell me you're with us. You're a part of that big family we all are and it wouldn't be easy without you.

Bekah : You know very well you've got my full devotion Mama.

Kahi : Good. A few weeks ago, a little after the boys has arrived, I have received an invitation from the huge South Korean informatic chaebol, Logotech. According to the troubles the club was going through, I thought about refusing but now I see thins under a positive angle, I think I will agee.

Soohyun : What's Logotech?

Kahi : That's a cheabol managing the IT stocks of important enterprises. Their main offices are located in Seoul but lately, they opened a departmental branch in Tokyo. To celebrate their arrival on the Japanese market, they're organizing a cocktail party in the Shinjuku Hilton Hotel. The prty's this weekend. Important investors and eventual costumers will be there so they invited several Ginza and Kabuki-cho clubs to have their hosts and hostesses entertaining their guests. You know it all, even if you never went there, those socialite parties would be bloody annoying without it. I'm going to tell them they can rely on our presence. The Georgeous Flames staff will be there, too... Here's a wondeful chance to show it's far from being over. So... Would you like to be in?

All : Yes, Mama.

Kahi : Perfect! Exceptionally, I'll be asking the kurofukus to take part at it too. Logotech pays 35 000 yens each, just to serve beverages and talking, more in case of overhour. It would be a crime to go without it, wouldn't it?

Kevin : Yes, but...

Kahi : Ah, I don't want to know! I know your girlfriend is unhealthy jealous but listen... It's only for one night, just one night. She can make an exception. It's not as if you were asked to bring one girl home with you. I even recommand the opposite.

Kevin : But...

Kahi : You don't understand. This is not a request. It's an order from your boss. And orders aren't to be discussed. Come on, o home now. I really don't want you all to miss your last train or bus and you'll be obliged to get a cab. See you tomorrow.

All : See you tomorrow, Mama.

 

 

Lizzy : No!

 

In the kitchen, as Lizzy is preparing beers and things to eat for the boys, who were here for the evening, he had tried to tell her about the next Logotech party, choosing the right words, but even like this, he knew it wouldn't work. Lizzy is clear-cut.

 

Kevin : But Lizzy... I can't do it another way. I can't say my boss no and get fired.

Lizzy : Yes but I really don't want you to go and seduce old Korean women at the Hilton Hotel.

Kevin : I don't go there to seduce anyone. Our role is to serve drinks, yo see. And to keep company.

Lizzy : Can't they employ other persons to serve drinks? Like, I don't know, waiters. And I know what means keeping company for old rich people. It means coming on.

Kevin : Don't talk nonsense. Can't you trust me?

Lizzy : I trust you. But not the girls. I don't trust them at all. Pfft! You can't do anything against it, anyway, can you?

Kevin : That's what I'm trying so hard to tell you!

Lizzy : Fine, fine. Alright, then. You can go playing the host at that conservative socialite party. But I'm warning you : would be in your interests that none of those old es would try to put even one finger on my own sweet Kevin.

Kevin : I promise I won't let them do it so.

Lizzy : They'd better do. Well, are we bringing it to the boys? They might be on the verge of dying from thirst by waiting for us!

Kevin : Wait...

Lizzy : What?

Kevin : Could I get a kiss?

 

Lizzy has a mischievous smile and puts a quick peck on his lips.

 

Lizzy : You know what?

Kevin : What?

Lizzy : Wo ai ni... That's all I can remember from my Mandarin lessons.

 

They finally join the others in the living-room. Lizzy is putting the tray on the low table in front of the couch before sitting beside Kevin, on the armest of his favorite chair. They're talking a bit about the club... Kevin has asked the boys not to say Lizzy how bad the situation of the club was, avoiding the subject of Jin Ah and most of all, mafia. He didn't want his girlfriend to be worried about him more than she already was. They're still in the middle of the conversation when Hoon's phone start to vibrate. He's picking up, under the curious' eyes of everyone.

 

Hoon : Yoboseyo?

Yoo Jin : Hi. Maybe I'm disturbing you...

Hoon : No, Yoo Jin, you don't. You're not disturbing me at all. I'm at Lizzy and Kevin's, with the guys. Is there anything wrong?

Yoo Jin : Well, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to... Well... To know if you gave the pencil case to your little sister.

Hoon : Ah, no. Not yet. I haven't been home yet.

Yoo Jin : What a pity. I wanted to know if she liked it. I won't bother you any longer, since you're with everyone. See you tomorrow at the club.

Hoon : Yes, see you at the club. And... Yoo Jin? Are you sure this is why you called me?

Yoo Jin : Hum? Yes, yes. See you. Bye.

 

She's hanging up and so Hoon does. He's switching off his phone and put it back in place in the pocket of his jeans. All eyes are on him, with smirk of curiosity.

 

Hoon : What?

Soohyun : The little Yoo Jin calls you after work, now. She's got your number and everything...

Hoon : We're working colleagues. I don't know what's so special about it. She just wanted to know if Ara has liked the pencil case she gave for her.

Jae Seop : Yeah, yeah, that's it!

Hoon : Oi, stop with it! That's the truth. Why would I lie?

Soohyun : Why? You really can't see?

Lizzy : But who is Yoo Jin?

Kevin : One of the club's hostesses. She's Miss Blunders.

Jae Seop : Yeah. She always put her foot on it! There's not a night whn she isn't in trouble.

Kyung Jae : And she looks very interested about our dear Yeo Hoon Min. What were you thinking? We all know about the glances you're throwing at each other in secret...

Hoon : You can always talk. As if we didn't know how hot it is between you and Juyeon!

Lizzy : Juyeon? Oooh, that's very interesting.

Kyung Jae : There's nothing between Juyeo and I.

Jae Seop : Sorry, but... Allow us to say you'd better stop fooling us around. She's always taking excuses to sit by your side, to touch your arms...

Kevin : That's true. Even I have realized it.

Kyung Jae : Yeah. What about you and Ga Eun, then? Juyeon says she's deeply into you!

Jae Seop : Bull. That's not the way it is between us. We're only good friends.

Lizzy : Kyaa you all have an affair with a girl. Be careful, the more you're on the defensive, the more it means you like the person. He-he... Soohyun, I just can't believe there are no girls around you. They usually all are down your feet.

Soohyun : Nah, you know... I don't really care in fact.

Lizzy : Tttt... This is impossible. Boys spend all their time thinking about girls and meeting girls.

Kevin : Yah, what do you know about it? You have been in a girls' school and you don't even have brothers.

Lizzy : Yeah but there are males in my College. And I can tell you girls are all they're thinking about! Well, at least, those who aren't gay... Anyway. What about the club? Still in trouble?

 

A little silence is settling. Kevin is nervously pulling the collar of his shirt. The boys know they can't be allowing any blunder.

 

Soohyun : You know, that's not so easy. We're doing our best, but...

Kyung Jae : Mama managed to make a few persons come. The main problem is the co-ed side of the club. There are not many women in Ginza so we only had one costumer each for now.

Lizzy : Really? It makes me think about something... Lately, I have seen a television coverage about Shimeishas.

Hoon : Shimeishas? What is this?

Lizzy : They are high rank hosts. In that coverage, they explained the biggest part of Kabuki-cho costumers were Ginza's hostesses. Apparently, after work, they like handsome guys to serve them drinks and to act like hitting on them. It relaxes them to be cossetted after cossetting the others.

Jae Seop : And so?

Kevin :  What's your idea, Lizzy?

Lizzy :

Simple. You should canvass hostesses of the other clubs. Instead of going to Kabuki-cho, all they'd have to do would be to cross the street and find everything they wish for.

Kyung Jae : Not silly at all!

Hoon : It's a great idea, even.

Soohyun : Kevin, you should better propose her. Your girlfriend is worth her weight of gold.

Lizzy : He-he, have you heard that?

Kevin : I already know it all.

He's mischievously blinking at Lizzy, a smile all over her face. Yes, he knew it all since always. She may be was jealous but she was his treasure and he would never leave her for anything in the world.

 

 

 

A bit separated to the others, in the hotel hall, Kevin has told Lizzy's idea to Mama, as the others are arriving little by little. She listened to him carefully, amazed to discover how invested they all were.

 

Kahi : That's a really good idea. Congratulations, your girlfriend is pretty smart. What's her name.

Kevin : Lizzy. Well, it's Soo Young but she wants to be called Lizzy. We're together since High School.

Kahi : It means this is really serious love story. How sweet! What is she doing in life?

Kevin : She's learning fashion design.

Kahi : It's interesting. Otherwise... Are you feeling ready?

Kevin : Yes, Mama.

Kahi : In this case, rush and join the others.

 

A bit farther in the hall, Ki Seop and Yoo Jin are talking too. If the little sister is used to that kind of situation, the brother isn't, since he never did anything else than kurofuku since he began.

 

Yoo Jin : Don't worry, oppa. You're very handsome and I'm sure everything will be perfectly fine. These kind of suits fits you marvellously.

Ki Seop : Thanks. You're really beautiful too. But you're always beautiful. By the way, I have noticed you were close to one of the boys...

Yoo Jin : Oh yes. Hoon... He's so sweet. And his little sister sounds amazing!

 

She has a smile, and Ki Seop immediately recognizes that kind of smile. That's the kind of smile which, coming from her little sister, means she was starting to grow feelings towards a boy. It makes his blood boil.

 

Ki Seop : Yoo Jin, you must be careful and pay more attention. You barely know him. Don't do nonsense with anyone. You must keep your eyes open.

Yoo Jin : Yah! Why do you need to be so mean?

Ki Seop : What? I'm not mean. Im' just trying to warn you, that's all.

Yoo Jin : You said "with anyone" and this is mean. Why are you always here caring about my private life as if I was too stupid to get through it on my own? I'm not a little girl anymore. I can make do and I know what I'm doing. And with who I'm doing it.

Ki Seop : You don't understand. I was just trying to...

 

Yoo Jin, very upset, is already gone, leaving him alone here, before he could even finish his sentence.

 

Ki Seop : I was just trying to protect you.

 

Juyeon is arriving in the patio right before the room where everything is going to happen. She immediately sees Kyung Jae. He's fixing his suit, nervous. She's stepping to her with a smile and he's smiling her back.


Juyeon : How re you? Are you scared?

Kyung Jae : No, I won't call it scared. But I'm clearly a little impressed. I have never done such a thing of my whole life.

Juyeon : There's no shame about being scared... First times are never easy. Ah. Your tie is crooked.

 

She's settling in front of him, and softly loosen his tie, to get it straight. Then Juyeon is slipping the flat of her hand on his suit to fix up a crease, looking straight into his eyes.

 

Juyeon : Now, it's perfect. You're very handsome like this.

Bekah : Em, em...

 

They're turning their both faces and see Bekah and Yoo Jin watching them. Yoo Jin has a pleased smile, as if she was looking at a tender scene, but Bekah, like usually, got a piercing gaze. Embarrassed, Kyung Jae is leaving them alone. Yoo Jin joins him, seeing the others already are in the front, ready to step on the scene.

 

Bekah : What a touching little scene. You should be ashamed, Lee Juyeon!

Juyeon : I beg your pardon?

Bekah : Don't take me for a fool. I'm better than you are at the game... You're always turning that ppor guy on.

 

With arrogance, Bekah is bumping into her shoulder as she's going to meet the others. Mama arrives and ask Juyeon to join everyone at the "gate". She's sighing, collects herself, and finally step to the others. She notices the affinities are clear when seeing the whole staff from behind.

 

Kahi : Now we all are here, we're going to be able to jump in. I hope you'll remain conscious that the whole Gorgeous Flames staff will be there as well. If we wnat to show them what we're capable of, it's now or never. Be flawless. I rely on you for that. The tables could turn from tonight so please, no faux pas. Yoo Jin... Reminds us what are the three essential rules of the hosts and hostesses.

Yoo Jin : Smile, charm and professionalism.

Kahi : Perfect. Whatever happens, please keep these three words on your mind. I completely trust you all.

 

Mama is getting down the few steps separating the room and parts the velvet curtain, stepping inside. Jun, Lee Young, Bekah, Yoo Jin, Juyeon and Ki Seop are leaving too, following her closely.

 

Soohyun : Well, as they would say... A man's gotta do...

Kevin : ...What a man's gotta do!

 

They're stepping inside as well. Getting down the steps, Ga Eun, wearing real high shoes, is twisting her ankle and almost loses her balance. Thankfully, Jae Seop is right beside her and catches her right on time, balancing her by putting his both hands on her waist.

 

Jae Seop : Ooh la... Be careful.

Ga Eun : Yes. Thanks.

Jae Seop : Is it going to be ok?

Ga Eun : Yes. Yes... No problem.

 

Ki Bum, behind them, has seen the whole scene and doesn't look quite happy about it.

 

 

In the room, little by little everyone is getting caught up in the game. After less than one hour, they're all very at ease, walking around the whole room, with a tray in their hands, as if they always done it. Mama is watching the whole staff with proud. They were even better than what she thought they would be. She knows that it will be nothing but good points for her club renwal. Discreetly, Jin Ah is coming, standing close to her.

 

Jin Ah : I can't believe you dared showing up here.

Kahi : Yes, we did. I'm not a pwan easy to knock down, Jin Ah. And I thought you knew about it.

Jin Ah : If you say it so. Do you really think employing five new boys would help you avoiding bankruptcy?

Kahi : No, I don't think so. I'm deeply convinced about it. I believe in them the way I believe in the others too. My smell and my eye for talent yet is known by the whole trade. Be a little patient and very soon, you'll see the Heaven's Gate as glorious as before.  If not more glorious.

 

She's leaving her here, with a triumphant smile. But Jin Ah didn't want to withdraw, though it all.

Soohyun is going through the crowd, his tray in his hand. From time to time, he's checking out if everything is fine too for his colleagues. Everything seems to be fine. He's stepping to a bunch of young girls talking together and offer them a drink. The young woman from behind is turning around and immediately, she's recognizing him, opening wide in surprise.

 

Raina : But you're... my charming prince!

Soohyun : Ah, you remember? Raina?

Raina : Yes, that's me. How could I forget my savior?

Soohyun : You look in a better shape than last time.

Raina : Oh yes, I trsut you on that. What a story! I was arriving from Seoul, my luggages had been lost by the flight company. All I had was my credit card and no taxi drivers wanted me to pay with it. I didn't even have a coat... I probably looked like a loony, did I?

Soohyun : Well... Maybe a little, that's true...

Raina : Damn! I knew it. I knew it.

Soohyun : So, you were looking for Logotech offices?

Raina : Absolutely. Well, Soohyun-sshi... The policemen gave me your name. Are you working as host?

Soohyun : Yes. For the Heaven's Gate. We're a club with a brand new concept, mixing hosts and hostesses.

Raina : That's very interesting. There could be many costumers or employees from Logotech coming at your club soon. I am well connected.

Girl friend : She really is! You can trust her about it.

 

Farther, Bekah, who's with a costumer, is turning her head and is furious to see what's happening under her eyes even if she doesn't show. But someone has guessed and is discreetly stepping closer.
 

Juyeon : Oh oh... Looks like some pretty young girl is encroaching on your turf, Bekah.

Bekah : She's only a costumer and I don't know what you mean.

Juyeon : Don't take me for a fool! I AM better than you are to that game. You're dying from jealousy. It's written all over your face.

 

Bekah wants to reply when a sound is catching her attention. A big portion of the costumers are turning their faces to it too. Yoo Jin has just made fall her champagne glass on the floor.

 

Yoo Jin : Sorry! I'm sorry!

 

Apologizing, she's leaning to collect the pieces, not paying attention to the fact she could get cut. Ki Seop wants to help his little sister... but he's not fast enough. Hoon is already leaning in front of Yoo Jin to help her.

 

Hoon : Be careful... Don't cut yourself...

 

Jin Ah has a pleased smile seeing Yoo Jin's mistake and Juyeon is glancing anxiously at Mama.

 

Female costumer : How sweet it is to see two colleaues as considerate towards each other! This young man is very nice.

 

Mama is doing a sign to Juyeon to go back to her activities. This mistake finally makes Yoo Jin looking cute to the men and Hoon attentive towards the women. With Soohyun in a middle of a conversation with a young Korean girl in a high position at Logotech, it seems like there will be good things in sight.

 

 

Mama is reuniting everyone in the main room at the end of duty. A few days has passed since the Logotech's party and the next day, the effects of it has started to get shown. Faithful to her promise, Raina has sent many costumers and Logotech employees to the club, but she never came yet. The whole week has been pretty hectic and female cotumers from other clubs came en masse.

 

Kahi : As you have noticed, this week has been pretty profitable. It seems like the bad phase is already behind us. I have been very pleased of your work and so did the costumers... Male and female. So I have a few things to tell you. First, we're finally able to bring our hostesses ranking up to date.

 

The boys don't understand what's going on but the hostesses are looking pleased, cheerfully talking to each other. Whispering, Ki Seop is explaining them what it's about.

 

Ki Seop : She's talking about the hostesses ranking according to the money they earn for the club.

Kahi : Because of our bad patch, I have to warn you that the sums are far from what they were last months. But for the least you have worked, it's pretty good. Our first hostess, with a total of 529 075 yens... Well, it's not a surprise : Juyeon.

 

It's, indeed, no surprise for anyone. Each time an hostess is called, she's getting up and takes back an envelope given by Mama, under her colleagues' applauds.

 

Kahi : After her, second for the first time, with 350 422 yens... Ga Eun! Then comes Bekah with 335 600 yens and Yoo Jin, with 223 942 yens. And last but not least, Lee Young with a total of 127 845 yens, which is a very good peformance for a simple assistant. Boys... Since you're only two, you can't be submitted to this ranking. Your incomes are the same. 115 898 yens each for this week only. Great performance!

 

Each their turn, they're coming to get their envelope. Getting his, Soohyun can't believe it. Lately, the water heater of his house as stopped working and he and his grandmother were forced to get cold showers, which was abad thing for an old woman. With this money, he's going to be able to pay for the repairs. But Mama is not done.

 

Kahi : Those splendid results allow me to grant kurofukus a significant bonus of 100 000 yens each. Chukka haeyo, modu.

All : Kams hamnida, Mama.

Kahi : Fine, and now, here comes the whoopees! Yes, I've got even better news. To celebrate the official new beginning of the Heaven's Gate, an old friend of mine who's got a huge house in Shinjuku is inviting us to a party, next Sunday. That's a party he'll be giving in the nonor of his retourn to Japan after a long stay in the United States. You won't go there as hosts and hostesss or kurofukus but as guests. Kevin, you'll be able to take your girlfriend too. So... Are you in?

 

Of course, they were. Going to a party after that first turbulent week wouldn't be exactly an extravangance!

 

 

 

As always, they have to run. On the station's quay, they run everynight but this time, it's latter than the other nights. With her high-heel shoes, Yoo Jin can't follow. Hoon is turning his face to her, still running. She's looking out of breath and she's slightly red.

 

Yoo Jin : Don't worry about me. Keep on running. I'm here... I'm here.

 

He keeps on running until he hears her screaming. He's turning around : she's on the floor. A piece of her dress is torn, her high-heel is broken. Without a futher thinking, he's running to meet her. She's lifting up, her hands flat on the floor, smirking from hurt. The train is passing them by, but she can't get up right on time to take it and it's leaving almost immediately.

 

Hoon : Yoo Jin... Are you alright?

Yoo Jin : Aish... We just missed the last train. !

Hoon : Who cares? You really hurt yourself, that's a serious thing. Look... Your knee is bleeding.

Yoo Jin : Oh my God, I hate blood! And.. Oh no. My shoe!

 

She's picking her heel up behind her, with an helpless look, as Hoon is taking a clean handkerchief and starts to wipe her bloody knee.

 

Yoo Jin : Kyaa, I have smashed them! They were my favorite ones... Jimmy Choos! Jimmy Choo, do you realize?

Hoon : Well... No, not really.

Yoo Jin : It's very expensive. What are we going to do? It was the last train and... Oh no, I do am a numpty!

Hoon : What's most important for now is to find a pharmacy on duty. Your wound got to get cleaned. Do you think you can get up, if leaning against my shoulders?

Yoo Jin : Yes. I think I can.

 

 

Latter, Yoo Jin is sitting on a bench in an empty park, her knee covered with a large band-aid. She wears sandals she has bought in the pharmacy. It doesn't fit with her lovely sophisticated dress. Hoon is arriving with two beer cans and a box of skewers. She's got a smile for him and he's sitting by her side.

 

Yoo Jin : Is it ok? Did you have enough money?

Hoon : Yes, no problem.

Yoo Jin : And what about Ara? Did you warn her?

Hoon : Yes, everything is under control. Dong Ho hasn't leave yet. You know... It's the first time since ages I'm buying take-away food.

Yoo Jin : Really? How is it possible?

Hoon : It's not quite economical. You spend less money cooking and eating home.

Yoo Jin : You know what? In the future, if you want to eat take-away, just call me. And I'll pay it for you.

Hoon : You're like an angel... How is your knee?

Yoo Jin : Not that bad right now. Thanks. Even if I look lousy with my cocktail dress and my sandals. Yet, you're telling me... It feels like my usual self!

 

She's got a mischievous laugh, and bites into one of the skewers. Hoon is looking at her for a few seconds, thinking the way she laugh is adorable, then put his eyes on the swing in front of them.

 

Hoon : I don't think you ever looked lousy. Not even now.

 

Yoo Jin got a piece of meat going the wrong way hearing that and to hide the fact she's embarrassed, she's drinking a bit of beer while rising her head to the stars. In a low voice, she starts singing : "miageta sora, kirei dea... Kimi no koto mo omoimaa...".

 

Yoo Jin : The stars are shining so bright tonight. It's so beautiful! Is this the Great Bear?

 

She's pointing her fingers to a star. Swallowing a bit of beer too, Hoon has a smile and shows her another star a little farther.

 

Hoon : The Great Bear is this one. Here is the Ursa Minro. Here, you've got Andromeda the Princess and here is Cephea the King. Cassiopeia the Queen, Pegasus, Orion...

Yoo Jin : Wow! You know a lot about stars!

Hoon : Back when we were kids, with Ara, when our parents didn't have neough money to pay for the theater, we used to spend our nights looking at the stars instead. We finally learned by heart what were the costellations and how to recognize them all.

Yoo Jin : You're pretty close to you little sister, aren't you? I think it's so cute... I heard that, when I was a little girl, my mother wanted to cut my hair by herself but she missed out and i was aweful. This is why there are no pictures of me before I was eight in the family albums.

 

They're laughing softly, still eating. Yoo Jin is thrilling and holds her shawl tight around her shoulders, staring at the same swing Hoon looked at earlier.

 

Yoo Jin : But in reality... I can't remember. I've got no memories before I was eight. Nothing at all. Not even pieces. It's weid, isn't it?

 

She's turning to him and her expression is so cute that he doesn't resist to give in, leaning over her face. Yoo Jin immediately understands the message and closes her eyes. They're kissing softly for a few seconds. When she's opening her eyes, she's feeling she's slightly blushing, and embarrassed, wraps an arm around his, with a smile. Yoo Jin is pressing her cheek against Hoon's shoulder and throws one last look at his face, before she's closing her eyes. If she had to be honest, she would admit she wanted it from the very first day...

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