"Chanyeol?" Joonmyun asked, sitting beside the giant at the coffee table in the lobby, who was busy cutting a chain of people out of paper (which looked suspiciously like Kris' taxes). 

"Yeah?" He replied, eyes never leaving the paper. 

"Did you and Baekhyun have a fight?" 

"No, why?" he said, confused. 

"Well," Joonmyun said, as both their eyes trailed to said person currently belting out the lyrics to Run Devil Run and filling his Nerf sniper gun with ammunition that looked suspiciously like they were made out of metal. ("Guys, where's the lead pipe?" Kris asked). 

Chanyeol shrugged, looking back at his chain. "Don't worry, he does that every month." 

"Uh, okay," Joonmyun said, but you know, maybe you should . . . um, do something."

Chanyeol's face remained emotionless. "Whatever," he said. "He's just PMSing." 

"Chanyeol?" 

"Yeah?"

"Only girls PMS."

"Okay."

Joomyun sat there in silence for a while. "And Baekhyun's not a girl." 

"You sure about that? Have you seen his hands?" 

~

"Wow, I never knew you were into Chinese culture, Minseok," Lay remarked. 

Minseok looked at him pointedly. "I'm not Minseok, I'm Xiumin." 

"Uh, okay," Lay said. "But don't you think painting your skin red was a bit much?" 

"What are you talking about?" Xiumin asked, looking at himself in the full-length body mirror. 

"Nothing," Lay said. "Is this because of the thing Kris said yesterday?" 

"What are you talking about?" Xiumin repeated, adjusting his headpiece. 

"It's a shame Chinese new year already passed," Lay told him. "They have huge dragons there." 

"What are you talking about?" Xiumin repeated again. 

"Um, yeah, Xiumin-" Lay started. 

"Call me Xiumushu," XIumin said, suddenly spinning on his heel and strutting out the room, which caused his tail to whip Luhan in the face. 

"Since when do Chinese dragons have feathers?" he wondered as the door slammed shut. 

~

"KYUNGSOO! HELP! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" 

Kyungsoo dropped the cat litter he was holding on the floor, bounding up the steps and running to the lobby. He skidded to a halt, tearing his shirt open, revealing the superman shirt underneath. "What is it Jongin?" 

Eleven pairs of eyes stared at him, quietly judging. Kyungsoo cleared his throat, shuffling his feet. "What?"

"I just wanted ice cream," the teenager replied, slumped on the couch. Kyungsoo glared at him. 

"Seriously? And that was my favourite shirt," he grumbled. 

"At least you can cross that off your bucket list," Kris told him. 

"Who the has public humiliation on their bucket list?" Kyungsoo replied. 

Ten pairs of eyes looked away. 

"You're kidding me," Kyungsoo deadpanned. 

"Well to be fair it's pretty easy for us," Kris commented.

~

"Everyone, assemble!" Joonmyun gathered everyone in the lobby. Once the complaints were over he started. "For our new teamwork exercise-"

"Teamwork exercise?" Jongin asked. "We work at a ing vet clinic, how much teamwork do we need?"

"Shut up, Jongin," Joonmyun continued. "Anyways, this will hopefully help to develop some teamwork, responsibility (everyone laughed at that) and maturity in you guys. I thought it would only be fair that working at a vet clinic, we adopt a pet. With great power comes great responsibilty." 

You could hear the crickets chirping (which made no sense because it was ten in the morning). 

"Guys, meet our new team pet, Crunchers!" Joonmyun said, pulling a cage out from behind the desk. 

"Crunchers, come out!" he opened the cage. "It looks like he's sleeping." 

The rest of the workers got up and moved to see what was inside. A chorus of 'aww's and squeals corresponded. "I hope you guys can become better workers and people," Joonmyun said as he opened the cage. 

"Stop hogging him, Baekhyun!" Luhan said, pulling the little furry animal away from him. 

"This is Captain Crunchers, he's our new pet that we'll be taking care of," Joonmyun continued. "He's a healthy little guy and he's a grey squirrel. I expect you all to make sure nothing happens to him." 

"He's fat," Jongin said, and Baekhyun slapped him. 

"Don't say that! You'll hurt his feelings," he cradled the little body to his chest. 

"But he can't understand me," Jongin tried to explain and Luhan slapped him. 

"All animals speak the language of love." 

Jongin sighed, "Kyungsoo-"

Kyungsoo slapped him. "Be quiet, you'll wake him up!" 

"Can you guys stop slapping me?" Jongin said. (and Jongdae slapped him because a) slapping Jongin was fun and b) Jongdae is a troll). 

Jongin sighed again, looking at the tiny creature. It was furry, fat, had whiskers and paws. Not cute at all. And-

Wait. 

Was that?

Jongin looked at the creature again, those beady little eyes were staring into his soul, claws outstretched and bared its fangs. 

"Guys!" Jongin said in alarm. He was slapped several times before they left, Joonmyun going to buy some squirrel food  and chew toys because heaven knows not to let Luhan drive again. 

"Jongin, you take care of Crunchers, okay?" Kyungsoo said. "We're going for lunch. I know I can trust you, Jongin."

"But I thought we were going to go out for lunch today?" Jongin pouted, though everyone was already gone. He heard the door to the lunchroom door slam. Jongin looked back at Crunchers, now fully awake and - was it glaring at him? 

"What are you looking at?" Jongin grumbled. 

~

"ing squirrel, get back here!" Jongin said, hands grabbing at air. He tripped and fell, landing face-first on the floor, in a puddle of detergent the squirrel had knocked over. 

"Where. Is. It." He seethed from the floor, looking around. Crunchers was sitting on the top shelf of the supply closet, nibbling on a blanket. Jongin groaned, that was Luhan's favourite blanket, the one he had had for over twenty years now. 

"Okay," Jongin said, getting up, chest heaving, "You wanna fight? Come at me bro, I can take you," he bounced around on the balls of his feet. Crunchers looked at him condescendingly. 

"Fine," Jongin said, before noticing something. He smirked, watching Crunchers look at him suspiciously. Suddenly he pulled the blanket out from under the squirrel, bundling the animal into it and holding him to his chest. "Gotcha." Crunchers was screaming and thrashing around when suddenly he stopped at looked at Jongin. And was it smirking? Could squirrels smirk?

Jongin froze, the blood draining from his face. "You wouldn't." 

The squirrel looked at him, as if to raise an eyebrow and say 'I would.'

"You can't," Jongin hissed, horrified. 

The squirrel seemed to smirk at him before he heard it. Ssssss the sound of liquid dropping the floor, soaking through thbe blanket. 

"Jongin?" someone said, opening the door, then froze. 

Jongin laughed nervously. "Luhan, yeah, well, Crunchers here had a little accident-"

"My blanket." 

"Don't kill me," he whimpered. 

"JOONMYUN HYUNG, HELP ME!" 

~

"JOONMYUN HYUNG, HELP ME!" 

"Did you hear something?" Kris asked, pulling away. 

"What? No," Joonmyun said, kicking the door closed a s the two continued their make-out session. 

~

"What are you baking?" Jongin asked Lay and Kyungsoo in the kitchen. 

"A cake? It's Jongdae's birthday and we're going to surprise him," Lay answered, dusting his hands. 

"It looks great," Jongin said, practically drooling at the aroma of the freshly baked and iced cake. 

"It's just out of the oven," Kyungsoo told him. "Hey, we're gonna run down to get Jongdae. Everything's ready, just watch the cake, okay?" 

Jongin nodded. 

"And," Kyungsoo said, leaning in close. Jongin was expecting a kiss so he leaned down but Kyungsoo just gripped his shirt collar, waving a knife in front of his face. "Do not mess up the cake." Jongin nodded again in fear. "Great!" Kyungsoo said, perking up, skipping away with Lay. 

Jongin looked around, leaning his un-broken arm on the counter, stealing a glance at the cake and raising his eyebrows. "It won't hurt if I taste it a little bit," he told himself, reaching out a finger to touch the icing. He froze, finger centimeters away from the cake. Turning his head, he found himself looking into two beady eyes. 

"So we meet again, old friend," he whispered. 

Long story short, Jongin managed to only set fire to two things, the safety showers on the ceiling , and he face-planted into the cake, china and plates were broken and scattered around the floor. 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-"

The eleven people stoppped, staring at the mess in the kitchen. 

Kyungsoo's eye twitched. 

~

"Jongdae, help me," Jongin gasped, clutching onto Jongdae's leg. 

Jongdae raised an eyebrow. "What? No. It's your fault that they had to move my birthday back a day. I mean, who the does that?" 

"It was the squirrel, I swear," Jongin pleaded, hands clasped to his chest.

Jongdae narrowed his eyes. "Don't insult Captain Crunchers. Anyways, didn't you think you went a little far with the Cinderella thing? I mean, I get the mops and stuff but was the outfit really necessary?"

Jongin looked down at his outfit. "Frills are in right now." 

Jongdae rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just go bake my cake already. I'm hungry." 

Three hours later, Jongin had finally finished the cake. All he had left was to put it in the oven and then ice it after that. And then the twelve of them would go clubbing and everyone would get drunk and he'd get laid tonight. Perfect! 

"There, now it'll be done in an half an hour hour!" Jongin said, clapping his hands (he was still in character).

"I'm proud of you, Jongin," Joonmyun said. "You showed great responsibility today. Maybe you'll even get a raise."

Jongin set the timer to thirty minutes and left the kitchen with Joonmyun. What he didn't notice was a small hand (paw) reach out to turn the timer and set the time again . . .

~

Anyways, so back to Jongin, he was currently in the janitor's closet, but it wasn't really the janitor's closet because it the one that everyone used when they were bored and . Eventually Joonmyun got Lay a new closet and left the old one for people to use. He was currently pre-occupied because Kyungsoo thought the maid costume was really hot when they heard something. 

"Jongin, do you smell that?" Kyungsoo said suddenly. 

"No," Jongin replied. "Can we get back to making out now."

"It smells like smoke," Kyungsoo, opening the door. Jongin groaned but followed suit. 

Then he remembered. 

"The cake!" he ran to the kitchen, followed by Kyungsoo and the rest of the workers. 

"I don't understand, I set the timer to-" then Jongin remembered again. "The chipmunk did it." 

"Jongin!" Joonmyun said, glaring, "Well I guess you won't get the raise." 

"I thought I could trust you, Jongin," Kyungsoo shook his head. "I guess not." 

"Captain Crunchers!" Baekhyun said, teary-eyed, looking into the kitchen where the little squirrel was perched on the top shelf, clutching his treat. The rest of the workers gasped. 

"Finally," Jongin mumbled. Then he looked around and saw everyone in mourning, staring at the squirrel. He gulped. 

"With great power comes great responsibilty."

"All animals speak the language of love."

"I hope you guys can become better workers and people."

"I know I can trust you, Jongin."

"I'm proud of you." 

"You showed great responsibility today, maybe you'll even get a raise." 

"Get a raise."

"Get a raise." 

"Get a raise." 

Jongin snapped out of it, making his mind up. He set his jaw. 

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo asked when as he walked by confidently, striding into the kitchen. 

Dodging under a flaming cupboard that was falling, he slid behind the island. Crouching down, he looked out, seeing the squirrel sitting up there. A plate missed his head by an inch and he quickly pulled in. Taking a deep breath, he opened the cupboard under the island and pulled out a serving tray. Jongin set his eyes on the target and then stepped out from behind the island. He deflected the first fork that was falling from the burning cupboard. A piece of the wood from the cupboard fell and knocked the tray out of his hands. 

"Uh oh," Jongin said as a piece of falming cupboard fell at him. He ducked down and slid to the other side of the kitchen standing up and jumping over a flaming chair and onto the counter. 

"Gotcha," Jongin grinned as he saw the squirrel. He reached up his arms for the furry animal - until another pair of hands picked it up instead, jumping off the counter and running out of the kitchen as the safety showers started. Jongin stood there, soaked. The kitchen was soaked now, and he dragged himself out of the kitchen, dripping water everywhere. 

"Chanyeol?" he asked, weirded out. 

"Yeollie, you saved Captain Crunchers!" said Baekhyun with teary eyes. 

"Anything for you, Baekkie," Chanyeol said. 

"Well, I guess that resolves their fight," Lay commented. 

"What were you fighting over anyways?" Minseok asked, but the two of them were too busy each other's faced off. 

"SNSD and 2NE1," Sehun answered instead. 

"Seriously?" Minseok's jaw dropped. 

"Chanyeol gets the Employee of the Month," Joonmyun declared. "And a raise!" 

"Well I wonder who's getting laid tonight," Luhan muttered as they all headed towards the car to go to a club. 

Jongin followed along eagerly until Joonmyun stopped him. "Hold on there, where do you think you're going? You have to stay and clean all this up." 

Jongin groaned as the eleven of them left him there. "Well I guess I'm not gonna be the one getting laid tonight." 

~

"You," Jongin said to the squirrel after he finished cleaning. "Are coming with me." 

He took the cage and drove out to the forest, before he opened his car door, dragging the cage with him. He opened the cage and shook the squirrel out. It bolted into a tree. 

"Finally," Jongin said. "Kai defeats Captain Crunchers." 

~

2.3 k wordsa/n: this is basically my excuse not to post for chen's birthday yesterday. also happy hyolo day! 

 

twitter: @silverminn