"Now the first round of our Miss Korea contest," Baekhee announced, in significantly higher heels, "begins! First, here we have Kim Jungae." 

"Hi." 

"What is your deepest wish?" Baekhee asked. "And did you wear a taller pair of heels?" 

"My wish is for this to end," Jungae deadpanned. 

"Wooh! I'm rooting for her to win!" Sehun screamed. 

Baekhee scowled, "Whatever, let's just go on to Kim Jemun." 

"My wish is to have a dress tha tfits me," Jemun said, having changed into a ruffly blue dress that was still way too big. 

"Do none of you know how this goes?" Baekhee asked. "You have to have a reasonable wish, like this: My deepest wish is for Officer Daehyun to die in the fiery pits of Tartarus with no reinforcements to help him this time." The audience cheered loudly at that, throwing flowers onto the stage (and speeding tickets). 

"What about you Jae?" she said as Jae moonwalked to the podium. 

"Ain't nobody got time for that," Jae said. "Now keep calm and moonwalk." Jae moonwalked off the stage. 

"Alright then," Baekhee said, weirded out. "Kyungsoon?" 

Kyungsoon glared with an annoyed expression on her face. "Next!" Baekhee called. 

"Okay, so, Soo-ah, what is your-"

Soo-ah snatched the mic from Baekhee's hand. "My wish is to win this and you all know if you don't then you're dead!" The crowd clapped nervously as Minseok  cheered all by himself. 

"Next we have . . . Kim Ha-Byung? It appears that somehow Kim Ha-In has changed her name." Baekhee said as the next contestant came, dressed as Hyuna. Baekhee gasped. 

"4Minute is even worse than BEG! Why do you not see the perfection of my nine beautiful goddesses? Are you blind?" She asked Ha-Byung. "ARE YOU BLIIIIIINNND?" she screamed, shaking Ha-Byung. 

"I'm dressed as Hwayoung from T-ARA," Ha-Byung said. 

Even Sehun facepalmed. 

"Get off the stage," Baekhee told her coldly. 

"Park Eunyoo, as the last competitor, what is your wish? Because mine is that you stop letting Luhan do your makeup and get a ing wig already." 

"Well, I-"

"Alright, that's enough, we don't need more of your stupidity," Baekhee said, pushing Eunyoo to the side of stage. 

"But I didn't even say-"

"We all knew it was coming," Baekhee interrupted, giving her one final shove off the stage. The audience cheered loudly and Sehun joined in. 

"Alright," Baekhee said once the lights were focued on her. "Now we have a special guest who came here all the way from South Korea to help MC with me." 

Sehun already knew they were crazy (first of all who would MC with Baekhyun, and second of all they were already in South Korea).  

The crowd waited in anticipation of who the special guest MC was. "And she is . . . . Miss Korea 2013, Lee Minhyo!" 

The audience cheered loudly as she walked onto the stage, waving and wearing the sash she had gotten from the beauty pageant she had won. Baekhee gave her a regular plain old mic, though it was noticeably drab compared to her shiny sparkly pink fireworks lights that was playing Girls Generation's I Got A Boy. 

"Thank you," Lee Minhyo said, "I am very honored to be her-"

"Alright, the seven ladies in the competition please line up," Baekhee interrupted (in significantly higher heels) as the seven of them filed (or in Jae's case, moonwalked) onto the stage standing in what was more of an oval than a line. 

"These contestants are all trying to reach their dreams, to become strong independant ladies that don't need no man," Baekhee snapped her fingers (in a Z formation). 

"That's right," Lee Minhyo said, "And-"

"Okay so let's move on to the winner of round one!" Baekhee interrupted again. "By popular audience vote it was . . .Soo-Ah!" the crowd cheered nervously again as Soo-Ah bowed, a knife accidentally falling out of her pocket. She kicked it behind the curtains quietly. 

"YEAH!" Minseok cheered. 

"Round two, please do some aegyo," Baekhyun said. The six of them walked (or moonwlaked) off the stage except for Jungae. Baekhee glared at her,"Did you wear taller heels again?"

Jungae smirked. "Bbuing bbuing," she said emotionlessly. 

"NEXT!"

"I'm sorry, but this new cute puffy dress they gave me is too bi-"

"NEXT!" 

Jae moonwalked onto the stage. 

"NEXT!" Jae glared as she walked off again. 

Kyungsoon suddenly appeared beside Baekhyun and Minhyo making the two of them scream. 

"NEXT!"

"Bbuing bbuing, choose me or you die!"

"NEXT!"

"Why the do you keep changing you name Kim Dong-in! And why are you dressed as Dara in an aegyo competition? And why aren't you worshipping SNSD yet? ARE YOU BLIIIIINNDDD?" 

"I'm dressed as Nicole from KARA." 

Dong-in was promptly thrown off the stage. 

"Our last competitior for this round-"

"The last competitor for today," Baekhyun cut Minhyo off again, "Is Kris," Sehun choked on his bubble tea. "Tina!"

"Bbuing bbuing," Kristina said, in an awkwardly small dress towering over both Minhyo and Baekhee. 

"Now that our contestants have finished," Minhyo said, "We can-"

"Alright! Now that the round is over we have the winner!" Baekhee interrupted yet again. The eight girls walked/moonwalked onto the stage. 

"The winner," Minhyo began. 

"The winner," Baekhee said, "Is Kristina!" 

The audience cheered while Sehun choked, Minseok too distracted to help him.

Kristina took the paper badge they had made from Minhyo. "I'd like to thank the Academy, my-"

"Alright, onto the next round!" Baekhee ushered them offstage. 

"But-" Kristina protested. 

"Yes, but!" 

"What?"

"Not what, but!" Baekhee said as she pushed Kristina backstage. "Our next competition is the y contest." 

"Woo," Jungae did a small wave on her arm.

"NEXT!"

"Please get me another size-"

"NEXT!"

"NEXT!"

"But I haven't even gone onstage," Jae protested. 

"NEXT!"

"I will cut you," Kyungsoon appeared from behind Minhyo and Baekhee. Baekhee screamed and fell off the stage. Minhyo looked happy as she picke dup the mic. "NEXT!"

"I'M Y AND I KNOW IT! AND YOU BETTER KNOW IT TOO! Or I will sneak into your house in the night and do starnage things with your dog."

"Hehehe," Minhyo laughed nervously. "NEXT!"

"What the , Kim Soojin, stop changing your name!" she said as Soojin walked on stage in a suit and tie. 

"Why are you wearing SNSD stage outfits?" she asked as Baekhee somehow jumped onto the stage, landing on Kim Soojin and clinging onto her like a koala. 

"FINALLY!" 

"I'm dressed as Sungjong from Infinite," Soojin said. 

"But this is a beauty competition," Minhyo told him. 

"Exactly." 

The two of them and the audience stared at him for a while before deciding that it made sense. "NEXT!"  Baekhee hollere anyway. As soon as she saw Eunyoo's makeup she threw her mic at her. "Oh hell no." 

"Yo," Kristina said. "Ayo wassup." 

"So," Minhyo started. 

"As you can see-" Baekhee was promptly thrown offstage. Sehun cheered loudly. 

"The winner," Minhyo announced. "Is Kyungsoon!" 

"I knew throwing him off the stage would work," Kyungsoon muttered. 

"Guys I'm back!" Baekhee shouted, jumping onto the stage. Kristina reached over and pushed her off again. 

"For the final round we have the catwalk, where only the hottest survive." 

Jungae walked to the front of the stage then walked back. 

Jemun tripped on her too much and was simply just escorted off the stage by security. 

Jae moonwalked around the stage. 

Kyungsoon suddenly appeared at the front, causing a lot of manly screams to come out and people to fall out of their chairs. 

Soo-Ah smiled and waved as she walked around, people around her laughing nervously in fear. 

"KIM JISUN STOP ING CHANGING YOUR NAME! AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS SULLI?

"But I'm dresses as Hyoyeon.' 

Baekhee stopped to shake Jisun's hand. "You're a good man," she said sincerely, "But seriously, why do you think their concept is?" she pushed her offstsage. 

Eunyoo was not allowed to take the catwalk unless she put on a wig, which was not happening. 

Kristina -faced them all. 

"I've come to my conclusion," Baekhee said as the giant Miss Korea trophy sat in front of them. The eight girls were all standing somewhat neatly in a line as Tao polished the giant prize. 

"The winner of Miss Korea 2014 is . . . BYUN BAEKHEE!" she screamed as a confetti canon erupted. She was the only cheering as she jumped around 

"What?" she asked the contestants. 

"But you're an MC." 

"Yeah, but I'm dressed as SNSD and my nine queens win everything," she explained simply muffling Eunyoo's protests with her hand about 2NE1. 

"Anyways, I'd like to thank you all for watching Miss Korea!" Baekhee wrapped up. "We don'thave a credits thing because I did everything." The contestants shot her dirty looks. 

"But sitting over there is Kim Minseok, our supporter, oh, and our bratty maknae Oh Sehun," she continued. "And . . . his boyfriend?" Sehun nodded at Baekhee. "Lee Sangrae?" Baekhee asked. 

Sehun shook his head. 

"Lee Kyungbae?"

Sehun shook his head.

"Lee Youngjae?"

Sehun shook his head.

"Lee Jinsae?"

Sehun shook his head.

"Ohh." Baekhee said. "Lee Donghae?" 

Sehun nodded, shooting her a thumbs up. 

"Hey where'd Tao go?" 

"I can't believe I didn't win." 

"2NE1 WILL ALWAYS BEAT SNSD YOU !"

"PARK EUNYOO YOU !" 

1. 5k

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a/n: so the answer was donghae. congrats to the winner angel203

i need your guys opinion on something. should i write an oc x baekhyun fic? it's set back in either old korea, or in present day. it's about a girl becoming his bodyguard. (kind of like the bollywood movie bodyguard, but the roles are reversed).