Ringgg.....Ringgg.....Ringgg.....Ringgg.....

 

 It’s like three in the morning. It’s not like I get any sleep as it is, especially in comeback days. Groaning, I grabbed my cellphone off my bed’s side-table, annoyingly unplugged it from its charger, and looked at what idiot was calling me at this time of night. ‘Unknown Number’. Hm, that’s odd. I contemplated whether picking up or not, but decided it best to pick it up because it’d be my luck that they would keep calling.

 

 “Hello?” I said, still groggy.

 

 “Hey, Luhan. It’s me.”

 

 “Who is this? I’m pretty sure I know you, but I can’t distinguish who.” I yawned, rubbing my eyes with my free hand.

 

 “YiFan.”

 

 “KRIS!?” I yelled in a somewhat hushed tone. I quickly put a hand over my mouth, looking around to see if any of my dorm-mates were awake. Thanks to the grace of God, all of them were fast asleep. Long scheduled days have their pros and cons.

 

 “Shhh, don’t tell anyone else.”

 

 “Why shouldn’t I!? You abandoned us!!” I whispered harshly, getting up from bed and walking out into the hallway and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. “You just disappear out of no where, literally right before our first official concert, and now you have the guts to ask me a favor!?”

 

 “Please, I’ll explain everything to you soon. I just need your help.”

 

 “With what!?!?”

 

 “I need you to help keep the media away from me for a while.”

 

 “Why should I?” That bastard. After everything he put everyone through, he deems it alright to ask for a god damn favor!? I could feel my blood pressure rising and my body tense with heat and anger.

 

 “Look, you have every right to be mad at me. However, I’ll explain my reasoning for what I have done. I will never ask anything more from you, but see this as a last request. Please?”

 

 “I’ll think about it.”

 

 “Please, I have to protect her.”

 

 “Who?”

 

 “Amber.” Ahhh, the innocent girl he just dropped and abandoned. Now he cares about her? I should just lie and say she died just to give him a scare.

 

 “What’s wrong with Amber? She seems fine recently. Her and Tao are always together. They’re like twins. If you’re worried about her happiness, you really messed that up for a while but she seems back to normal now. Perhaps better that you’re gone, so don’t bother her at all unless you’re even more of a selfish than I thought you were.” I chuckled angrily, me words seething with hate.

 

 “Maybe she is happier, and I really want that to be the case, but she is in danger. You have to trust me. If you won’t do this for me, do it for her. This could destroy her, I mean to the point of no return. Please, I’ll do anything you want. Just please help me save Amber.”

 

 “What time are you coming to Korea?” Dammit. If it weren’t for Amber, I would have nothing to do with this whining little .

 

 “Huh?”

 

 “I assume you want me to help you come back to the area and not get noticed.”

 

 “I’m leaving tomorrow night. I will be back by early morning. I figured that was the best way to get back in without alerting anyone there or here.”

 

 “Well, that wasn’t a bad idea. I’ll agree to helping you out and it’ll be a secret. I’m gonna go back to sleep. Text me next time if you need me and give me your name. Bye.

 

 “Thank you, Luhan, thank you so much.”

 

  BEEP.

 

 

 Coldly, I hung up. I owed nothing to him, so I saying a goodbye would have been a gift for him. Though, I could hear his voice begin to crack when he began to mention Amber, as if he were crying from worry and later joy that I caved into helping him. Wow, he must be in some real trouble. Better yet, Amber must be. Well, I’m only doing this for Amber and I am going to have to keep reminding myself that. Well, thanks to the jerk I am probably not gonna get any sleep tonight.

 

---

 

 “Amber!?” I yelled across the streets of Seoul, looking everywhere for her. I could see on the corner of my eyes people taking pictures of me. As much as I hated it, however, my only priority was finding Amber. Everything I had said, everything I didn’t really mean, was so wrong and horrible. It killed me just reminding myself of the harsh words I spat at her. She didn’t deserve to hear those words, let alone any girl. Amber wasn’t anything like that either, so it only made the guilt in my stomach become more sour.

 

 Now here I was, searching for a girl that could practically be anywhere. I’ve tried calling her several times and I’m sure I’ve sent at least a million texts to her apologizing and asking if she was alright and where she was. I tried to think of anywhere she could be. What would be the most likely places she could be at?

 

 I stopped running for a moment to think a bit more clearly. Someone had to know! Maybe one of her friends. Who was she close to? Min was an option from ‘Miss A’, but I didn’t have any idea what her number was. Maybe one of the f(x) girls. Krystal!! I know I had her number! Feeling a slight relief, I leaned against the brick shop to my sides and pulled out my phone, finding her number in my contacts immediately. Instantly, I pressed the little green phone option and impatiently listened to the ringing in the background. Come on, pick up.

 

 “Hello?”

 

 “Hey, is this Krystal?”

 

 “Yes, what is it Tao?” Yep, this was her. The same monotone, uninterested voice she always had.

 

 “What are Amber’s favorite places to go when she is upset? Or better yet, is she with you or at the dorms? Have you heard from her?”

 

 “Wait, slow down!! Is everything alright?”

 

 “Sort of. Look, just answer my questions.”

 

 “No, I haven’t heard from her. I doubt the other girls have either, but I’ll text them to make sure. What’s going on?”

 

 “I made a mistake. No, a really big one. I need to know where she is. Please, tell me where she is. I need to make sure she is okay.”

 

 “Wow, it sounds like you screwed up big time, but the shake in your voice is showing sincerity at least that you care.” What, how cold does this girl think I am? Then again, maybe she saw through my facade years ago. This girl wasn’t stupid, I better note that.

 

 “Yes, now where is she?”

 

 “Check the park with the big gates, I’m sure she snuck in there. Be careful though, the park is closed past eight and it’s like midnight now or whatever. She has this favorite spot, you’ll find it easily. I’m busy doing an interview so I gotta go, but I’ll text Amber to see if she is okay. I doubt she’ll respond though. Good luck.” And at that, she hung up. Not even a goodbye.

 

 What is it with those Jung sisters? Seemingly cold as ice, yet so beloved by Korea.

 

 That park, I know which one she is talking about. Shoving my phone in my pocket, I began running down the sidewalks to the park only a few blocks away. Once I got there, I stared at the big black, upwards pointed fence that lined it up. It wouldn’t be easy for anyone to get past these things, but I think I could manage.

 

 I looked around briefly to see if anyone was watching, and luckily I didn’t see many people around or anyone that would notice; just a few people talking and walking away or going into buildings. Quietly, I jumped up into the air and grabbed the iron bars tightly, doing a back flip in order to avoid the spikes. Almost slipping from the tall, wet great, I landed inside the park on both feet. Thank god for Wushu.

 

 Still, the illegal things you make me do, Amber Liu. I could kill her for this, especially if I get caught.

 

 I looked around again and to my luck, no one had noticed any of my suspicious behavior. Relieved but not surprised, I began walking around and searching for Amber.

 

 If I were a small, tomboy girl obsessed with llamas, where would I hide?

 

 I have to admit, this is a truly beautiful park. There were many kinds of trees, all large and full of life with leaves and/or flowers that seemed to glisten from the moon. They all reminded me of the stereotypical trees where some person just falls asleep sitting down and leaning against it with a book on their lap. Towards the center of the park, which took a few minutes for me to get to while walking at a fast pace might I add, was a huge pond and next to it a little stream with a cute, colorful bridge for one to cross over it. This place reminded me of an escape from the outside world, let alone a large, busy city that surrounds it. I could see why Amber liked it here. It was an innocent, beautiful place....it symbolizes her in a way. Then again, I must still be thinking oddly because I was around drunk people. Perhaps I unknowingly drank something, which will be another excuse for my thoughts.

 

  I got an idea. Amber always looks at herself as different, as an outcast almost. She’d want to be somewhere alone and admiring the beauty around her. A place to listen to her thoughts in peace. I looked towards the area with many beautiful trees and after walking through many trails, I found this little hidden spot with a huge hill. There she was, lying down on top of the hill. Her legs were crossed and her head cushioned with her hands underneath it. She was looking up at the sky, seemingly peaceful until one would notice the seemingly painful tear stains marked down the sides of her face. Amazingly, her makeup wasn’t even the slightest smudged. You could tell she was completely sobered up now, just left with clear, sharp pain still panging at her heart. Quietly, I walked up to her.

 

 “What do you want?” she mumbled once I got up to her. How did she know it was me? I know for a fact she couldn’t have saw me. I guess she just figured.

 

 “I came here to apologize.”

 

 “I don’t want an apology or anything from you, so please leave.” her voice was flat, Amber void. She wouldn’t even face me, no expression on her face. It actually ached my heart.

 

 “Please, let me explain.” I begged.

 

 “No, everything you said you meant and you definitely were right. I’m a god damn mess and a . The way I was acting, it was disgusting and distasteful. I dirtied myself.”

 

 “No! You’re absolutely wrong!” I yelled, unintentionally. It took Amber aback, finally getting her to turn her head to face me. “You’re a beautiful, smart, silly, cute, fun, loving, witty, amazing girl! You did nothing wrong tonight, rather you let loose. You weren’t dancing provocatively or doing anything wrong at all. Did you drink a little too much? Yes, you did. Though, that’s what people call getting drunk and it happens to everyone. Though, did you do anything wrong?”

 

 “Tao....” she said, trying to stop what I was saying, but I wasn’t going to let her demean herself anymore.

 

 “NO!!!! You just don’t get it! You did nothing wrong! You were beautiful out there. Your dancing wasn’t rude, rather y and all the guys were turning their eyes to you. I was jealous...as your friend of course. I want you to myself, no one else. Then, with Henry, he was drunk off his and therefor wasn’t able to make good decisions. You’re an innocent girl, of course you wouldn’t understand his ill intentions that I’m sure he will regret once he sobers up. Now will you stop looking down on yourself and instead be proud of the beautiful, strong Amber before me!?” As I went on speaking, my voice had began to get softer. At first I was seemingly harsh and wanting to get her attention to listen to me. Now, I appeared gentle and completely an opposite version of what I was just a minute ago.

 

 “Tao.” Amber whimpered, wiping new tears from her face.

 

 “Here, let’s get you home.” I said, grabbing her by up her waist and getting her to her feet.” I smiled at her, any scary inflections I might have had earlier now gone and forgotten.

 

 “I always come here to think.” Amber randomly mumbled, a familiar soft smile returning to her face. “I love looking at the night sky. It calms me and reminds me that everyone we love can see the same, beautiful things we do. All we do is have to look up.”

 

 I put my arm on her back and we began to walk to the front gates. Luckily, the gates were unlockable from the inside, but once they were shut no one from the outside could get in....well unless you do something stupid like I did. Which reminds me, how did Amber get in? Once things are better between us, I’m going to make sure I ask her that question.

 

 

 It only took about fifteen minutes while walking silently on the sidewalks until we got to her dorms. No one took our pictures, at least from what I saw, so I don’t think a feminine Amber and dressed up Tao walking together will be on ‘NAVER’ or ‘E’ anytime soon. Once we got inside and walked up the many flights of stairs to her dorm, she unlocked the door and called out a few names of the girls that lived there with her. She didn’t get any responses back.

 

 “Guess they’re not home.” Amber sighed, walking into her room with me trailing along behind her.

 

 “So this is what you’re room looks like.” I commented smirking. It was pretty much everything I pictured. Posters of all the SM artists. Though, there was once space that looked like it was missing a poster. A part of the wall was a tad lighter and in the shape of a rectangle. Also, there was still tape stuck to the corners. Something tells me it was a poster of him.

 

 “I’m gonna lay down. You can go home if you’d like. Vic and Luna said they’d be out at a sleepover for the night, I just remembered, but I’m sure I can take care of myself. I’ll probable crash and fall asleep once you leave.” She flopped down onto her bed, arms wide open.

 

 “Now, why would I want to leave an innocent, fragile llama by herself?” I joked, causing Amber to blush and another smirk to reappear on my face.

 

“I’m gonna change....! All my clothes are in the wash! I’ll just dry them or borrow Victoria’s.”

 

 “No!”

 

 Perfect chance.

 

 I began to take off my jacket and then my shirt. Clearly nervous, she closed her eyes and turned the other way.

 

 “What the hell are you doing!?” Amber pannicked.

 

 “Wear my shirt. It’s clean and comfy.” I attempted at persuading her.

 

 “No!” she refused. Once my shirt was off, I threw it at her with it landing on her head. I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the funny scene in front of me.

 

 “At least turn around you ert!!” Amber yelled. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the door, closing my eyes and facing it.

 

 “Don’t you need pants?” I chuckled, knowing she would refuse to wear them because she had tight, short black spanks on underneath her dress and would not like the idea of seeing me walk around in my boxers.

 

 “NO!!!!” she yelled, making me laugh even more. After a few moments, she finally finished. “I’m done, thank you.” she said. Once I turned around, even I blushed.

 

 “Tao?” I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at her. Her entire smooth legs were bare, even down to her toes. Only her extremely short, tight black shorts covered her lady parts. However, I’m sure if she bent over, the shorts would move up and expose her -cheeks. Oh god, I couldn’t feel my jeans tighten a bit at that thought. Then, there she was without a bra, as there were no markings or wrinkles shown, in my white button-up dress shirt. Nothing could be seen, luckily it being a pure white and obviously not being tight onto her body in any way. Yet, it wasn’t fully buttoned and she held the shirt together at her chest as the collar slipped past her left shoulder. Even when she buttoned the shirt up, a lot of her cleavage would have shown.

 

 She was extremely y and alluring, even if she wasn’t aware of it....which only made it harder for me not to do things to her. Then that reminded me of how I have crossing paths. I want to her and ruin her in order to kill Kris, but I want to make love to her and make her say my name....to make her mine.

 

 What the hell has happened to me!?!?!?!?

 

 “Tao?” It was her small, confused voice that snapped me out of my thoughts and made me change my view to the floor, only for it to take mere seconds for my eyes to end up moving back to their ‘comfortable spot’ aka Amber.

 

 “Amber, I should leave.”

 

 “Why? What’s wrong? Did I do something!?” Oh no, I didn’t want her to feel bad. Though, I had to get out while I had some control left.

 

 “No, I just gotta go.” It came out as partly a growl. I didn’t have time for her to fight back or complain. Just let me go, dammit. Not now, of all times, just not now!!

 

 “Tao....please.”

 

 Before she could absorb what was going on, in less than a second, I was on top of her on her bed. My arms were holding my body up as my comparably large hands were side by side from Amber’s head. My knees, not only holding me up, but were also keeping her legs tightly clenched together so she couldn’t escape me. I could feel the rage from my inner frustration and conflicts show through my eyes. I wanted her so badly, but why was I desperately trying to to stop myself when the opportunity is perfect right now!? I could ruin Kris’ life and make love to this girl, but yet the inevitable guilt if I touched her wouldn’t stop ringing through my head.

 

 Controlling myself was almost out of the question. It all came down to the broken heart that was mine. It was going to control my actions, no matter how hard I could fight it. I could only wish for it to do the right thing at this point and give me a result I won’t regret....which also seemed inevitable.

 

 Amber looked up at me, her face completely in shock and horror. It was even more unnerving than the ones you see in horror movies. I could even feel her body trembling in terror and fear of what might happen next. Tears began to well up in her eyes once again. It hurt me to see her like this, but the sadistic part of me relished in it. It meant she was under my control. Amber was mine. Her tears were so beautiful, I was happy only I could see this side of Amber.

 

 “Please, Tao. Stop. Please.” Her broken voice took me out of my thoughts. Now I remember, this is my time to escape from doing something I will painfully regret.

 

What was I doing?

 

 I was hurting not just any girl, but Amber for my own, sick joy. For that split second, I relished in the fact Amber was subject to me, as psychotic and masochistic as it sounds. It wasn’t just anyone seeing this, it was only me. It was only me seeing this side of her.

 

 This isn’t me, though. No, I would never want to hurt Amber personally. What I wanted was to break Kris, not Amber. Why did I have choose Amber to hurt!? She has nothing to do with this. There has to be another way to hurt Kris just as badly!! I love Amber, I couldn’t do this anymore. Wait....

 

 I love Amber, I couldn’t do this anymore.

 

 I had said it. It didn’t matter if I said it out loud or in my thoughts, I finally admitted it. My soul has acknowledged it. I am in love with Amber Josephine Liu, yet here I was, breaking her. Quickly, I stood up and only said a few monotone, yet dark words before I quietly shut the door behind me.

 

 “I’m going to stay the night to make sure you are okay. However, I’ll be taking the couch. I won’t bother you for the rest of the night, so don’t worry. Forget everything that just happened. I’m sorry.”

 

 I didn’t - rather couldn’t - even deny my horrible actions and now I couldn’t hide nor deny my seemingly awkward thoughts. It was love, care, jealousy, disappointment....everything I have to be afraid of now.

 

 I’ve now come to the conclusion that I can’t be happy. Even if I go in between love and hate, it’ll tear my life apart....let alone anyone I’m close to. An open window or closed window, it doesn’t matter. Neither lead to the ending anyone would favor.

 

 As I walked to the couch and fell back onto it, Amber was stuck in my head.

 

 If I were to tell you it was “love at first sight,” that would be a complete lie. The truth is, since first sight she was memorable and engraved in my head. Not only her features, the way she dresses, or her multi-lingual tongue, her odd, childish gestures.

 

 It was her.

 

 Her expressions. The things she would say, her odd or perhaps insane look towards life. The optimism and hope people would die just to experience. The complicated but extraordinarily beautiful Amber. Those are the real reasons as to why the thought of her kept through my head. She was unlike anyone I’d ever met nor seen. This girl couldn’t help but stand out in a crowd of a million people - from people who were average or came from affluence or models who the media claimed to be the definition of beauty or the troublemakers that seemed to take the seen away - she would be the one that everyone couldn’t take their eyes off of.

 

 In the past, whether I would admit it to myself or not, I couldn’t help but always be curious of what Amber was doing if she was in close vicinity. I found it hard to take my eyes off of her, as if she was my entertainment or small priority.

 

 Now, here I am....I’ve fallen in love with the woman I had planned on destroying along my path to permanently kill Kris. Wu YiFan, as much as I hate even saying his name, let alone hearing it in my head, I only hated him more for claiming Amber’s heart and even worse....breaking it. This hate, it is getting worse. I didn’t just want him gone, though. I wanted him to suffer eternally. He was the only one who understood me, whether it be my terrible childhood to the issues I have. YiFan was my safekeeper. Leaving like he did, it’s unforgivable. Sadly, Amber was key to achieve my ideal ending to this drama....and her demise might be therefore entitled.

 

 However, now that I’ve fallen for her, my ideal vision of this ending is blurred. My love for her is like falling backwards off of a neverending cliff. All you could see was what was above you - the starry nightsky - and soon things got darker and darker. Rather than life flashing through your eyes, you were left to play god and remember the things that you have done; to judge every move you had ever done in your life, especially focusing on the most recent ones. You wonder if there is ever an end to this cliff, but you don’t really put any thought into your fate. It’s like your trapped in this moment, and you gracefully accept that fact. Killing Kris would be one of the things I will always remember happily, but now if I were to do that....it would hurt the girl I love.

 

 Slowly, with these racing, conflicted thoughts that plagued my head, I began to fall asleep.

 

---

 

 AUTHOR'S NOTE: Long chapter, I know, but you guys deserved it. I had this scene planned out in my head for a while, but I changed it quite a bit with whose dorm it was and Tao finally realizing he was in love with Amber. Well, I will be updating sooner and sooner and I am already almost done with the next chapter. I really do wish that you all enjoyed it and thank you so much for all your wonderful comments and subscribes and kindness!!!!!!

 

 >u< YOU GUYS SPOIL ME TOO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU! HAVE AN AWESOME DAY!!!!