can't hear you say goodbye

I never wanted to be leader. You knew that. You knew that if you left, M would be left to me. You knew that.

I'm not made for leading. Do you see how I've changed, how I've had to change in order to fit this role? I'm not a leader, Kris. You are.

Remember when you told me "Don't worry, I won't put you in that position"? What happened to that reassurance, huh? Because I am in this position now. Because you left and I have to try to fill the gap knowing that I can't.

Didn't you promise me, Kris? Didn't you promise me, laughing, that you'd stay, if only because you liked the attention as leader and I didn't--don't? Were we really not enough of a reason for you to stay?

Do you know the meaning of "brotherhood"? It's loyalty to death. When we became EXO, we swore to be brothers. That's a lifelong promise, Kris, I hope you realize that if you didn't before. You turned your back on us; do you understand the implications of that? It means you betrayed us, Kris. You left us, you severed the strongest bond two people can have, the bond of family. You know what that means?

That means that you're a dark mark on our past now. We don't say your name, ever. We don't talk about the good times or the bad times you had with us. It's almost as if you never happened to EXO--because we can't show this weakness. We can't show the public how we're unraveling at the seams, how we're crumbling apart with your absence.

K is lucky; they still have all six, and most importantly, they still have their leader. But what about us, Kris? Didn't you say you'd lead us to eternal glory? Didn't you say we'd grow old and famous together? Because M didn't just lose a member; we lost our leader. We're like an army without a captain, and the fumbling stand-in can only do so much to hold everyone together.

"Don't worry," you said.

"I'm here for you," you said.

"I won't leave you alone," you said.

"Brothers," you said.

You said a a lot of , Kris.You said a lot, a lot, a lot of and then you threw us away like so much trash. So I hope you know that there is no way for us to support you now. I hope you don't expect us to congratulate you on your solo success--or even want to see you again.

I hope you know how much you broke us.

And I hope we never swear our lives to someone like you again.

A/N: Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod. .

I can't ing do this

Sorry guys, I just...I think...I think writing this series and looking up images is actually going to make me cry. I'm sorry. Why am I doing this to you, to me, to everyone...god.

This is too much for me. I think the emotional impact hasn't really hit me till now.

I linked a song at the top. If you listen to it while reading this, you might cry so...yeah. Up to you.

skyblaze208, OUT.

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