The moments before are still so clear. Sulli remembers feeling fire racing through her veins, the memories burning white hot into her brain, branding her with her lover’s name, and all she could see in the daze of her distress was the unopened bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen counter. It wasn’t like she meant to get drunk. It was just that the beverage was cooling the heat boiling up within her heart, and that was all she wanted. But she woke up with a hang over and three empty wine bottles next to her on the couch and the only thing she could think of was who would come know about her heart break other than herself if she kept this act up. And the only solution that she knew of to get rid of this pain was to douse herself in ice cold drinks that kept her dizzy enough to forget Soojung for just a night and maybe half of the next day.

    But maybe she was starting to slip up with her act of being totally fine without her,  because after her friends left from visiting her for lunch dates, there would be cartons of beer missing from her pantry and a bottle or two gone from her wine rack. There would be dropped hints and emphasized words during meals at fancy restaurants whenever they had their get togethers. Quick glances at the rings under her eyes and little gasps the staleness of her breath. It was as if they knew exactly what was going on, they just didn’t want to be right, they just didn’t want to prod their friend. They gave Sulli time and Sulli spent it in the dark of clubs, in the gloom of the strobe lights, hiding in elegant glasses filled with amber liquid. 

    With her heart cut up like some serial killer took a razor to her chest, she would stumble to the nearest bar and drink until morning. Flashes of her came back through Sulli’s stupor, like blinding bursts of recollection evoked by the consumption of the liquor slithering down . As Sulli lurched over to the glamorously illuminated neon signs that hid the truth of hard life behind the colorful bright lights, the one she was trying to forget the most slipped through the cracks of her mind’s defense once more.     

    In her mind’s eye Sulli watches as a pearly hand gently runs down the back of her neck, a serene calm flooding over the taller girl as she recognizes the scent washing over her senses. Feline eyes peer deep into the pools of her soul, flickering ever so often from a soft smile to a devilish smirk. Luscious lips skim the skin where neck meets the junction of her ear and words are delicately strung over creamy skin, the voice so rich that it makes Sulli shiver while she walks blindly towards the city lights, “Baby, come to bed with me.” 

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