Krystal knew all along she was making the wrong choice when she picked Amber over Sulli, but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe she pushed the doubtful feelings, the warnings that Amber constantly set off inside of her brain, the little voice screaming that this was wrong, away because the red haired tomboy had the most convincing way of weaving traps out of words and promises out of lies. The older girl was an expert at letting Krystal tumble head over heels for her ruses, and Krystal perfected all the ways of falling for them. But the guilt would soon fade into secrecy and secrets are one of the sole things that kill relationships, Krystal knows now that she should have listened to her heart, she just had to learn the hard way. 

She doesn’t remember the first time she cheated on Sulli but she remembers how awful it felt afterwards. Krystal remembers the guilt and how wrong it all felt, when Amber finally pulled away from , but then Amber came swooping in again, feeding her with words and making it feel like she was okay. She doesn’t remember how many times she and Amber had , either. But she knows that they never did it in a bed, that there was always some gas station or public restroom or the back seat of a car Amber had planned out for them to be at. Nothing special at all, and whenever they finished, Amber would leave her there, with her shirt still ed and her pants still down, going off to do God knows what. Sulli never did that to her, they always curled up together underneath warm sheets and fell asleep. And Krystal allowed herself to believe that it was okay, that it was fine. That she was drifting away from her girlfriend of a year and a half, that was it was perfectly normal. 

Krystal should have listened to the Red Light that went off when she was with Amber. A week after she walked out of Sulli’s house with her things in her hands and all memory of h