EIGHTEEN INCHES

It was going to happen in a parking lot. 

Well, maybe it was meant to happen somewhere else. I mean, I'm guessing that Kyungsoo had left the church so that he could get in his car and drive away, you know? Like, I don't know why he would just want to sit around in the parking lot while Minah stood inside and shot people, which sounded like something that she would do since she was that angry. Plus her dress was super big so she could've easily hid a shotgun or two underneath there. 

So now we were just standing in the parking lot.

And, just to make things even better, I'm pretty sure that it was about to rain. Which meant that my several hours of good hair were about to come to a close. Well, we had a good run. 

"Kyungsoo!" Minah had been screaming his name since we had left the church. Although it wasn't really doing anything because Kyungsoo hadn't bothered responding to her. He just kept on walking to his car. "Kyungsoo, wait! What the hell do you think that you're doing?" 

Minah was a lot dumber than I thought she was. Maybe she failed her finals after all. 

"I'm leaving, Minah," Kyungsoo said, exasperated. He turned around to face her. And the rest of us ( meaning Chanyeol, Jongin, Yixing, and I) because we were standing behind her. 

"You can't-you can't just leave!" Oh my god, Minah just stuttered. And she was being stupid. Did she really think that Kyungsoo was just going to stick around and marry her after she just admitted to sleeping with Chanyeol? Like, honesty's super rewarding and all, but it doesn't work like that. 

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do, Minah?" Kyungsoo yelled back, waving his car keys in the air. "Do you want me to just go back inside and marry you?" 

Minah paused and bit her lower lip. "Well ..." 

Ha! I called it! She still wanted to get married! Ha ha, for you, Minah! Because that wedding was over with a capital ‘O’ face. 

"Well that's not happening," Kyungsoo said bitterly. 

"Wait, wait. Can you say that again for the camera?" Jongin asked, shoving his iPhone in Kyungsoo's face. That was such a Luhan move that I couldn't even handle it. I really hoped that the two of them weren't going to become friends. My life would be destroyed. 

Kyungsoo ignored him and pushed the button on his keys that unlocked his car. Oh. So he really was going to leave. Okay, Avery, whenever you decided to say something is totally fine with me. Or else you were going to end up talking to a pile of dust while Jongin filmed you and Kyungsoo driving off to wherever it was he was fleeing to. 

While I stood there in a vegetative state, Minah kept talking. Poor Chanyeol. He was also just hanging back with Yixing. They were probably co-ordinating a plan. I think that Chanyeol really liked her. And now she was totally screwing him over. 

"So you're just going to leave?" Seriously, Minah. We had already covered that. It wasn't like Kyungsoo was just going to sit in his car. He was obviously driving away. "What, are you choosing ing her over me!" She wailed, ing her finger in my direction. 

Also, she didn't mean ‘ing' as a verb in that sense. Like, she didn't mean ‘ing' as in ... well, I don't know. I wasn't really thinking about that. I wasn't really thinking about anything, but definitely not that. 

Plus, that meant that I really was going to have to talk now because my name was brought up. Or my name was implied. And was Kyungsoo really choosing me? 

"I'm not choosing anyone," Kyungsoo clarified, sliding into his car. Well, . That wasn't going to benefit me whatsoever. Alright, so I wasn't going to say anything. I just needed to grow a pair and get this over with. Kyungsoo was already in the car and was seconds away from just running us all over to get this entire sticky situation done with. 

I squeezed my eyes shut. Yeah, this was happening. I guess this meant that the proper thing to do would be to just go on autopilot and see what happens then. It couldn't be that bad. 

Think quick! 

Oh, squash. That was not what my autopilot was supposed to do. I thought my basic instinct was smarter than that. Now I was probably going to Kyungsoo or something equally inappropriate. 

Actually, no, that's not what happened. What really happened was that I scrambled over to the other side of Kyungsoo's car and opened the passenger door, sliding in next to him and slamming the door closed behind me. Oh my god, was this considered breaking and entering? 

Squash, no, . Yeah. . Alright. I should say something. Yeah, that's a good idea. Ooh, I bet that actually looking at him would help as well. What was I supposed to say? I should apologize. Yeah, that sounded about right. Just say ‘sorry.' 

"Did you know that a giraffe's tongue is eighteen inches long?" 

Who the­ oh, squash. That was definitely me. I couldn't say ‘sorry' but I could bust out a full sentence about giraffes? What the hell? I was mortified. I might as well should have just died right there. At least that wasn't embarrassing. Alright, Kyungsoo, you can go marry Minah now. I wasn't even going to look at his face. 

"Is this the part where you ask me if I know what else is eighteen inches?" Kyungsoo asked. I could hear the amusement in his voice. Well I'm glad that someone was having a good time. 

"Um, no," I mumbled sheepishly, staring down at my lap. Great. So now he was going to bring up our first (second) encounter? It was like he had made his own version of Park Avery’s Greatest Hits. 

"That's a shame," he said with a laugh. "Do you at least have any more facts with you?" 

You know, Avery, whenever you think it's a good idea to act like a person with average social skills and make eye contact with the person that you're talking to is fine with me. Really, take your time. It's not like you were sitting in his car or anything. 

And, more importantly, don't start spewing out any more facts. Although that would've been wonderful for him, it would've been horrible for you. 

"Um." Okay. That was a good start. Now say words with actual meanings. "This wedding." Yes, Avery. This was a wedding. Key word being ‘was.' "I'm, um, I'm really sorry about it. That. I mean, if it had anything to do with me. I mean, I know that part of it has something to do with Minah cheating on you, but I'm also pretty sure that part of this has to do with me and you. You and I." Hey, Avery, you could stop talking now. "Just the two of us." Nope? I was still going to talk? Well, alright then. "Together." 

"And what makes you think that, Avery?" Kyungsoo asked with a trace of amusement in his voice. By the way, I still wasn't looking at him. I just wanted to make this as awkward as humanly possible. 

Was this the part where I started talking about Luhan being at the bar with him? Because that also seemed like a really uncomfortable conversation that I didn't want to have. Mainly because it meant that I would have to talk about Luhan, why he was there, and as a result, my grandfather's . And we were not going that road again. 

"You know, just a hunch." I decided to play it coy again. It had actually worked quite well on the first (second) time we had met. You know, with the me trying to seduce him thing. I was doing a good job until I had ruined it with the giraffe thing. So this time I was doing it in reverse. That meant that it was going to work, right? 

"Any other hunches, Avery?" I could feel him moving closer to me. Well, damn, that was distracting. It was going to be hard to keep being coy with that. There was no way that I was looking at him now. I might jump his bones and we were in the middle of his car. People could see in through the windows. 

Holy squash, they were all still outside of the car! We were secluded from the outside world and they were watching in on us. No pressure, Avery. 

"Avery," Kyungsoo whispered in my ear. So it was clear that he wasn't that upset about the Minah thing. "When are you going to look at me?" 

I was red. I was red and my dress was white. I looked like a candy cane. Or Santa. Or a lobster wrapped in a hotel towel. I believe the question was why Kyungsoo was looking at me. Because I was the least attractive person at the wedding. Jongin looked better than me. And he's twelve. 

"Avery, you know that I really like you. Will you please look at me?" 

Jongin's mom probably picked out his outfit, though. Wait, Avery. Focus. Do not succumb to Do Kyungsoo. Talk about your feelings instead. Feelings before ... feeling? Yep, stop thinking. 

"No, I'm fine." At least I didn't say super. I was improving. Maybe one day I could talk to real people. 

Kyungsoo let out a sigh before reaching over and slowly lifting my chin, turning my head until I was facing him. OH MY GOD. DO KYUNGSOO TOUCHED MY FACE. Squash. Squash. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Because I wasn't focusing. Or breathing. Or swallowing. So I might as well have been dead. And I knew that he was going to kiss me. I may have the people skills of a recluse, but I knew that this was the set up for a kiss. 

Yeah. I was fine with that, though. I mean, I liked Kyungsoo and he liked me, so he could kiss me all he wanted. Yeah, these weren't the best circumstances, but it wasn't like any of my past plans or scenarios had worked out. 

Just enjoy the moment, Avery. Enjoy the moment of Do Kyungsoo kissing you while he was single so you weren't the Other Woman anymore. 

Then, just as Kyungsoo's mouth was supposed to meet mine, one of the back doors of the car opened. 

You've got to be kidding. 

This was the worst -block known to mankind. This was worse than whatever I was thinking about when I had attempted to ruin the wedding and no one had noticed. 

"What in the name of G-Dragon do you think you're doing?" It was Minah. So this was why people locked their cars. That and so you don't fall out while you're on the freeway and everything. Which leaves the important question, did she just say ‘in the name of G-Dragon’? She sat down, which meant that she wasn't going to leave. Great. "You can't ing kiss her!" Could we swear now? We were still in a church parking lot, were the rules the same there? "She doesn't even like you!" 

You're not kidding. 

"No, I'm pretty sure that I like him. I told him. Actually, I told him that I loved him." Ugh, was I really going to start rambling again? I had such high hopes for myself. I was almost normal. "And I think that's how we got into this mess." 

"No, we got into this mess because you were supposed to sleep with him!" 

What? 

"We had a deal," Minah explained, dragging the rest of the dress into the car with her before slamming the door on I'm guessing Chanyeol's face. Wow. It was really not his day. Anyways, back to whatever the hell it was that Minah was talking about. "I thought that you were cheating on me ­ which you were ­ so I tried to come with an idea to ma