ON YOUR KNEES

I caved. I told Chorong the first chance that I got. Actually, I don’t really consider it to be ‘caving.’ Caving implied that Chorong had been pestering about what had occurred between Kyungsoo and me when she really hadn’t asked at all. Actually, no, she didn’t ask at all. Which wasn’t that much of a surprise because she had been doing a marathon studying session and hasn’t really said much of anything. 

Basically, I had just sat next to her, staring, until she finally asked me what the hell my problem was (like there was only one) so that I would leave her alone. And then I told her everything in grave detail. And then I said it all again in case I left something out. And then the third time was so that it was clear that she understood what was going on. She did.

For one who always has an opinion on everything, Chorong really didn't have much to say. Which really . Like, I'm not even kidding, she didn't look happy or angry. Instead, she just gave me a really weird look before asking me if she could borrow one of my old sweatshirts. And then she asked me what I planned on doing now because apparently I was already supposed to have a plan.

"Uhhhh," I stammered, looking at her blankly. Think ­ wait, remember how that always turned out? Think at a reasonably paced manner, Avery. "I don't really know what I'm going to do now. I think that I'm just going to play it by ear." Yeah. That seemed like a smart idea.

My roommate didn't find it as brilliant as I did. "You do know that Minah and Kyungsoo are getting married in less than two weeks, right? This really isn't the time for you to start ‘playing things by ear.'" I also have to give her credit for not using air­quotes. As embarrassing and childish as it was, I was all about using air quotes. They really helped me emphasize my points.

"I ... I thought that you weren't helping me out," I said, tossing a hoodie in her direction. Seriously, though, did that mean that she was going to give me advice now?

Chorong easily caught the hoodie with one hand and started tugging it over her head. "Yeah, I thought that I was going to stay out of this as well," she grumbled, "but I can't just let you crash and burn."

Hallelujah! Didn't this mean that Jesus was now on my side? Not that Chorong was the holiest person around (I don't think that she'd ever been to church while on campus. But then again, neither had I), but she was the one that was caught between the two of us and if she was on my side then that would have to mean something important. And ­ wait, what? Why did I have to crash and burn?

"Why do you think that my plan won't be successful?" I asked sadly. I mean, I know that I hadn't put that much thought into it but I still thought that it was a good idea.

"Because you thought of it twenty seconds ago?" Of course she would know how good (terrible) I was at making up things off of the top of my head. "And the last time that I told you to smooth things over the two of you ended up face!" she grumbled, yanking the hoodie down over her face.

"Hey! We weren't ‘ face.'" I did it. I busted out the air quotes. It was almost instinctual at that point. "He barely even kissed me. It lasted, like, what, one, maybe two seconds? And he didn't even try to slip the tongue on me. He didn't even touch me! One of his hands was behind his back, that's how casual the kiss was!" I was getting a lot better at defending myself. "It was super friendly and didn't mean a thing." Okay, now I was lying and had said the word ‘super.' It was all going downhill.

Chorong had wandered her way over to my vanity and was now putting on my mascara. It would've seemed like a bigger deal if I actually used that mascara very often. But I didn't. Besides, Chorong and I shared pretty much everything so it could have originally been hers and I could have taken it to my room. We did stuff like that all of the time. That's why it's good that we never really fought with each other because it would be really hard to differentiate the other's stuff.

"Oh, right. So now you're going to tell me that that kiss meant absolutely nothing after Kyungsoo basically told you that he was in love with you?" she raised an eyebrow at me. I don't know how she did that without messing up her mascara application. I somehow always managed to get mascara on my cheeks and I have no idea how.

Also, yeah, she had a valid point. Did I actually think about things before I said them out loud? Because lately, it seemed like I did a lot of premature speaking. Like, I had an idea but then it fell out before it was completely developed.

"Okay, fine, I'm lying to you and I know that the kiss meant a lot more than I'm letting it on to be," I moaned, collapsing face first on my bed. I had also conveniently managed to land on that same damn software book. It had made direct contact with my esophagus so I was now probably going to die of asphyxiation.

"You don't have to admit that you're lying, Avery. Even the stupidest person can tell when you're trying to pull one over on me," Chorong giggled. Don't you love when people find your problems to be absolutely hilarious? Because it happened a lot to me.

"Can you just tell me what to do?" I gasped, clutching my throat because that obviously would make breathing easier.

My best friend plopped down on the bed next to me, moving my thirty-pound textbook out of the way while also not asking if I was alright. "Do you want to end it with Kyungsoo?" she asked me.

Squash. That was a good question. I mean, it wasn't like I had actually had anything with Kyungsoo to build on, but did I really want to cut him out of my life forever? I liked him, I really did. But I liked my friends too and I didn't want to be known as the Who's Always Stealing Someone's Boyfriend. But I really did like Kyungsoo and who knew when I would find someone like him again.

"," I groaned, rolling onto my back and covering my face with my hands. "Squash, Chorong, what have I gotten myself into?"

"Something that I told you was a bad idea in the first place?" she snorted, tossing the mascara back into the box on my vanity.

On the brighter side, we had gotten most of our packing done and planned on moving out right after our last final tomorrow. Chorong's apartment was only twenty minutes away from Gangnam, which was where the wedding was being held. So even though none of us really wanted to be there, we were saving a lot of gas. Joonmyun's family also lived a few minutes away. He was going to stay with us for a few weeks before he went to Thailand for intern work. Which was fine with me because I was going home a few days after the wedding. Finally.

"Yes, Chorong, you were right. I would tattoo it on my forehead if I wasn't deathly afraid of needles," I mumbled from behind my hands. I had finally gotten the ability to breathe back, so that was always good.

"Ah, satisfaction is always desired," she hopped up from my bed with a large grin on her face. "Guess what I get to go do?" she asked as she walked over towards the door to my room.

"Not study?" I guessed because I'm pretty sure that Sehun was the only person that I had seen on campus that was actually concerned about studying. And no offense or anything, but it was Sehun.

"Pretty much," she shrugged, tying her hair into a bun on the top of her head. If only my hair was able to do cool things like that. "I get to go plan Minah's bachelorette party," she smirked, giving me a quick shimmy.

Ew. That sounded gross. And I'm not even embarrassed to say that I'm not offended that I wasn't given that job because it was obvious that I didn't have that wild of a nightlife. Or a nightlife at all, really. Or maybe even a life.

Chorong laughed at my facial expression. "Yeah, I know. I hope that you like strippers," she shrugged.

What if I didn't like strippers? "Um?"

"Because that's what Minah said that she wanted. Well, she said that she wanted a wild night. So I think that you should tell her about this whole Kyungsoo thing after I throw this party because I already paid the strippers and apparently they aren't big on giving full refunds," she explained, waving a finger at me. And that was why Chorong was the one planning this.

"Chorong, you're a horrible person," I laughed, shaking my head at her.

"Aren't we all?" she shrugged in response. "Really, though, I'll help you think of something later. I want for this thing to go down as smoothly as possible." Didn't we all? "I'll be back in a few. Try and do something exciting that doesn't involve you getting involved with someone's relationship!"

Once my roommate had officially left the apartment I sat in my bed for a few more minutes. Because it really wasn't like I had anywhere else to be. Well, no, I had a lot of things to do. I had to go and pick up my bridesmaids dress from Minah's. I had kind of (totally) been avoiding her for the past while. And there is still the thing about me having to study for my finals. Seriously, Hanyang is a super tough school. Why wasn't anyone else freaking out about the whole educational aspect of this place?

So I tried reading through my textbooks again. I mean, I actually got through a good chunk of it that time. Then I read through my notes. And then I decided that I needed to get the hell out of my room before I went insane and started talking to myself. Maybe I could go talk to Sehun. Another one of the great things about Sehun was that he was always willing to let someone talk to him and was equally ready to talk back. There aren't a lot of people like that out there.

I grabbed my wallet and made my way out of the door, also managing to drop thus wallet as soon as I made it out of the doorframe. That was basically a sign that I should have turned around and gone back inside. Because the second that I dropped to my knees to pickup my wallet, the door closed behind me.

Which would have been okay if my hair hadn't have gotten caught on the door behind me.

Like, I mean it was stuck. A large chunk of my squashing head had gotten caught in the door. It was too much for me to be able to pull out and just lose a few strands. If I tried to move my head forward I would lose a good chunk of hair and probably scalp.

Squash. Okay, Avery, this was probably the easiest problem that you had on your plate right now. You had a key, right? In your wallet.

Thank god. I leaned over and grabbed my wallet and started sifting through it, searching for my room key. It wasn't in there. Oh my god, it wasn't in there! Crap, it was probably in my room on my dresser! I had taken it out the other day when I was cleaning out my wallet and had forgotten to put it back in. I mean, it made sense since it wasn't like I had a lot of reasons to leave my apar