CHAPTER TWO

As I realized this, you just muttered something vague and walked towards door as I felt my life’s running in front of my eyes. As so, I came to a conclusion why I had said what I had said. I’m afraid of relationships because I tend to fail them every time I have something serious going on. Relationships and partners.. I’m just not good at them. Those few sweet girls I’ve been with have been wonderful but I just couldn’t love them right. And even now, when it’s with this guy who’s so precious to me.. I can’t handle it right either.

“Baru..” I called you, but you just kept walking. Just then I couldn't take it any longer and I ran towards you glomping you, begging you to stay. “It- what I said I mean, it was an accident and I don’t mean it slightest, I actually.. lo..love you.. idiot!” I yelled at you, tears flowing down my cheeks and tasting salty in my mouth. I was shivering and also annoyed because I made myself look like a true fool just to convenience you that I really do..Love.. I blushed and annoyance was pretty much wiped away and changed to nervousness -what would you say?

Next moment was terrible, I was so afraid because you didn't answer to me at all, just stood still, your face on opposite direction. I gulped and swifted nervously. “I'm so sorry..” I didn’t get to finish my sentence ever. Turning around you suddenly took me to your arms and I felt my whole body relaxing at once. All I could feel was your warmth and easiness of situation. Finally, I was here, where I wanted to be most. Sighing I hid my face, pressing it against your chest, which was warm and firm. I felt the blush creeping to my face. This was just too much and I wasn't sure how long I’d be able to handle this nervous shakiness and happiness which dwelled deep inside me.

“Why didn’t you say anything.. I mean, I thought it was just me and that I was creepy for feeling like that..” Your voice got quieter as you explained and I felt your cheek leaning against my violet hair. I gulped and my heart was racing. - You’re so close right now, too close, I can’t.. I raised my head a tiniest bit muttering; “I guess.. I was like you too, thinking that I’m creepy for feeling like this and I just didn’t want to ruin everything.” I smiled apologizing and caressed lightly your cheek, craving to touch you, even a bit, even for a little while.

As I touched your cheek you startled up, but immediately your eyes softened lovably. “I wouldn’t mind if you did that more often.. I mean..” You blushed tilting your head a little, like being shy, which was very weird of you, but I didn’t mind. It made me feel so warm that I actually didn't care the slightest. “Oh, you like that? I-I can touch your skin whenever you want to.. Not like that, I mean..” I stuttered and got lost on my words, now blushing and cursing my big mouth.

But instead of being shocked you laughed, laughed at your warm, deep voice and I was melting. “Oh hey, wow. Slow down a little, we just confessed and you’re already suggesting things..” “ Nonono, I’m just.. I was just saying it wrong way..” I tried to explain but I wasn't that good at it, especially when your hands were my back simultaneously. “And..?” I could hear you teasing tone. I kicked you softly, not really managing to be annoyed to you though. “Stupid, I..” I was intending to say something sharp in respond to your teasing but I got cut off by your lips.

Your kiss was different compared to ones before, it was softer and gentler now. It was like you'd want to cherish every moment of this, your lips trading lines and form of my lips, ever so slowly. I could feel your hot breath on my lips. I felt my whole body shivering because of that and that's how I was lost, all I wanted was to

touch you, feel my hands everywhere on your skin, and caressing, my lips wet on your neck, biting and you and my breathing would be heavy as we'd kiss and press ourselves hard against each other, feeling each other’ heat and your voice would be the only thing in my ears

I gulped and reached your lips. First I kissed you softly, then more roughly, wanting to feel all of you. You didn’t seem to mind - on the contrary, I could feel your hands my back even more eagerly and your mouth opening and letting me in. That was it. I was totally lost to our kisses, wet, soft, sweet and greedy. I placed my hands on your cheeks, pushing myself against you, wanting to melt right here. All I had been craving for these years was here. All of the misunderstandings we had had, each doubt and uncertainity we had shared was now gone. It was just you and me.

I kissed you with all my might and I could feel my hands shaking as they were placed on your soft skin. As we paused for a moment I could see your eyes so close to mine. They shone softly and I could feel myself blushing again. And so I heard your chuckling. “You’re too cute, you know that?”

Immediately after that, laughing, you glomped me to bed and blowed little pecks all over my face around my piercings and it tickled. “Hey what are you..uuh doing..? Bwahaahaah..TICKLES!” I couldn’t help but laugh because it really did that and you chuckled too, clearly enjoying that you had made me laugh. Suddenly I found myself hugging you tightly, not loosening my grip of your shirt, smelling your lovely scent again. - Now I knew I had found loveliest feeling ever.

You kissed my forehead and asked sweetly “Is everything okay..ho..ney..?” I felt warm, fluttering feelings dashing inside me. You had called me.. Honey. That was so unfamiliar but I thought that I could get easily used to sound of that. I smiled against your chest nuzzling it gently. “Yes, everything’s all right.. because you’re here, with me.” Normally I wouldn’t have ever said something like that straight to your face, but this fragile moment full of warmth.. I couldn’t help but voice my deepest thoughts out in open.

You startled up as you heard that sentence and for a second I felt nervous. What if he thinks I’m an idiot? Then my fears were blown away as you lifted my chin up and all I could see was your soft smile and hear your quiet chuckling, which made my insides melt. “I always knew you were a softie deep down, regardless of your behavior. “ I pouted to that. You always tease me over tiniest things. I didn’t have time to be pissed off though, since you kissed me right after. And then we kissed, kissed endlessly, being completely lost to each other.

I grasped your blond hair and my other hand was caressing your cheek as you kissed me first slowly, then more passionately, taking all of me by at your sweet voice and breathing inside my mouth, our wet tongues tangled and I felt way too good, way too warm and.. safe. It was like this would be where I belonged to, to your arms, to your kisses. We were totally in our own world as we kissed and snuggled for a rest of the evening and night.

When the morning came you were not here. I felt sinking, empty feeling throbbing in my stomach and I rubbed my eyes. Damn, I was so sleepy. After that I looked around and saw a paper which was put on top of the pillow right next to me. “See you at training. Already went there, because I want to open my voice and I have to pick up my costume on the way there. Sorry. Wish you’re not mad xxx” This was just so your style, going to somewhere and dropping a note on your way.

I snorted - by both annoyance and amusement. You were always you no matter what. I sank on my bed again, it was still early and I've never been the first bird to catch the worm. Yawning I nuzzled my pillow, it smelled like you. Suddenly my mind was filled by last night’s events and I shivered pleasantly, yet nervous. Did..that really happen? Did we confess, say those loveliest words to each other and kiss like there was no tomorrow?

I gulped, closing my eyes, feeling your trembling, hungry lips against mine again, feeling your hands caressing my back, my wings, my hands touching your chest.. I felt warm wave flashing through me and I opened my eyes. It all was too real to be a dream. Last night had really happened - we had happened. But what did this mean from this day’s point of view? Were we going to be open about it or not? Damn you Baru, for escaping before we had talked about this, I thought, very pissed off. What were we going to say to our friends? Act cool about it perhaps? Say nothing and be like there weren’t those kisses and touching, that…

Be like there wouldn't have been that fire between us, burning everything, making us mad. I closed my eyes for a second, just concentrating in breathing in and out. – Damn you’re good kisser. I could recall form of your lips so well, their wetness and softness. I could go back to that memory anytime. Sadly I wasn’t able to afford that, because I was supposed to be getting up soon and making a plan how to deal with this situation. I massaged my forehead, what should I do? I bet that our friends will have nothing against us, but the teasing they’d do probably and the sensitiveness of situation..

Finally I had made up my mind. I’d look at your reaction and make assumptions about it. Then I’d act like you. This was the best thing I could do at the moment, I thought as I sighed and put clothes on. It'll be seen what the day will bring to us, as I was wondering this, I felt damn nervous though. What if you all were going to tease me about my confession, what if you had told them that I had said it so bluntly? I shook my head -trying to get rid of my overthinking. It’d be okay; this was all going to end up fine in one way or another. So I left my safe home and stepped out on fire.