CHAPTER FIVE

“Whaat on earth...” Tomoya's face was priceless and he was gaping like a fish. He had also raised up his eyebrows in amazement. I would have laughed - he looked so amusing with that kind of a long face, but I was too flustered about my own situation. It didn't take much time though when his face turned into michievous grin. “Oh that's why you've been acting so weird...Baru, Kuina, you little..! “ He started laughing cheerfully and instantly I felt warm. Like a pat on the shoulder or a sincere hug, his laugh made everything feel okay and right at once. I felt myself blushing and I glanced at you shyly. And I wasn't going to be disappointed.

You were slightly blushing and your expression was full of astonishment and pure joy as you grinned back, a bit shy-looking though, (which I found extremely cute) and before I realized it, you grasped my hand and squeezed it softly. I felt warmth spreading to my knees, to my toes, filling my head with bubbles and I started smiling like an idiot. - Guess we were not hiding whatever we had anymore.

We were confused, yes, full of affection towards each other and probably something even more, yes, but at least we knew now that we had no reason to hide. “Kazuki, Koudai! I found two lovebirds on the corridor, I think something hasn't been told to us” I hid my face with my free hand, laughing awkwardly as you shouted to Tomoya, whose amusement only ever grew. - This has been a good day after all.

After working our asses of for that day we decided to go grab some food together. Also, our friends demanded us to tell everything about how became “a thing” and celebrate our “lovey-dovey- relationship” as Tomoya described it. I was first awkward because their reaction was so eager and cheerful, like this'd be the best thing in the world (which it is for me though) but after seeing their happy faces which seemed so sincere and accepting my awkwardness melted a bit by bit.

As we walked, chatting and laughing, “making a horrible noice” as guys from our label would say, you and I walked side by side behind the others in a gloomy night – autumn really was about to begin. Our shoulders brushed each others and we shared a glance. You smiled widely, yet somehow shyly. “Hey, are you sure you're ready to be so openly with me?” I asked suddenly, not being able to stop myself from forming these thoughts. Maybe you didn't like this. Maybe you wanted to take this slower after all. I looked at my feet, unable to look in to your eyes which seemed even darker than usual.

“What was that for?” You asked softly, merely whispering. Gulping I answered carefully, trying to be more wiser about my words than I had been yesterday. “It's just.. You were so distant today before Tomoya noticed us on the corridor and I wondered.. Maybe you don't want to be openly with me after all?” I focused on our friends backs, it sounded like everyone was cheerfully wondering should we eat okonomiyaki or just a simple pizzas today.

Then I felt your hand. You were touching my hair, ever so lightly but it felt entirely different compared to your touch before. - It felt as warm as your laughter when I say something stupid, it felt as warm as your smile, always full of love towards everyone and it felt as warm as the time when I was new in this band and you encouraged me to not be afraid.

It felt so warm that I turned to look at you, seeing nothing but a soft, genuine smile which made your dark eyes shine brighter. “Silly Kuinyan, of course I want to be openly with you! It's just about things in my past and the hard time surpassing them. But yes, I want to be with you, openly and in every possible way. Today I was just so unsure about what had happened last night and I tried to think them through today but I was disturbed by the urge to kiss you again, like there'd be no tomorrow, again and again, endlessly.” You looked me like you'd be hungry for something and I felt myself shivering, pleasantly though.

“So.. your past makes you unsure?” I asked, kind of shivering. I have never asked you about your adolescence because it hasn't seemed like an essential part of knowing you, but now I realized it really, definitely, was. I looked at you straight in the eye, yearning to know what had made you react like that, not wanting to tell everyone about us immediately. What was the reason for your actions? What were or are you surpassing?

The questions were spinning in my head and I shook my head, trying to get grip of them. I felt your eyes on me and I turned my gaze back to your face. First thing I noticed was your smile. It was kind of sad, but you didn't look like you'd be in pain, it was more like one of those nostalgic yet bittersweet smiles, which one has when he or she recalls the days of childhood, the uncertainty and the hope. I touched your hand lightly, not wanting to push you to tell something you weren't ready to tell me. You sighed and reached for my hand casually -like this would be our every day thing. Maybe it'll be like that after all, I thought, happy thoughts taking over my mind.

As you caressed my hand, you said quietly: “Yes. I've had lots of going on when I was younger and it still follows me everywhere I go. You know, like a shadow, grasping at me, trying to make me feel miserable.” You seemed a bit off, your face was pale and your expression unreadable. I couldn't help wondering what on earth you had experienced when you were just a boy. I felt sudden rush of anger taking a place as I saw your reaction. How was it possible that my Baru had been feeling like that? He's one of the sweetest guys you are ever able to meet! Was it because of somebody?

“Well then, I'll be your shadow instead! So that ty shadow won't hurt you again, “ I announced before thinking, squeezed your hands against mine, looking at your direction and trembling because of a sudden anger. - You shouldn't ever feel bad again because I..

I saw your face turning at once to a soft smile, yet sad for some reason. I raised my hand to touch your cheek but before I managed to do that, you took my hand and squeezed it first softly, then kissed it - like it'd be the most precious thing in the whole wide world. I felt myself shivering, feeling so warm and just right, not quite noticing that our friends had already left us behind.

“Thank you Kuinyan.” You said genuinely happy and I immeadiately knew that I had done the right thing. I felt so proud of myself and pecked your cheek shyly, blushing because this felt just so intimate. You laughed softly, warmly and even the dark evening seemed so much brighter, like the sun would have shown it's ray right here. It's you who's the sun. I thought by myself, not being able to stop smiling like an idiot.

Soon we were awakened from our own world though, when we noticed that others had left us behind. We were confused about how could they have been so fast, yet laughed it off as we didn't know where the heck we should be walking to. After a while of wondering, you had an idea of calling them and I chuckled because how that idea of calling them didn't occur to us at once?

As we heard they were at the pizzeria near by, we started heading there. I wasn't sure which one of us made a move at first, but somehow we ended up walking hand in hand, chatting and laughing the evening off, while the new kind of security formed to our hearts. Security which felt like home, the place you could dwell in the rest of your life. It was so weird and I wasn't at all used to it. Yet it made me feel so full of nervous happiness that I couldn't help grinning like a fool.

Hand in hand we arrived way too quickly at the pizzeria. - Our bandmates and friends were already reserved a table and they waved to us, shouting something. Kazuki and Koudai were on the same side of the table and Tomoya was in front of Koudai. - There was just one chair for some reason. ”Oh there they come, after making us wait while they made out outside!” Cried Tomoya out and loud, laughing teasingly and the others joined him.

I felt myself so awkward and took my hand fastly away from yours, feeling sort of cold after doing that – your wide hand had been warm. ”Oh, look at them, they're holding hands, how sweet!” Kazuki said now, teasing tone in his voice. I couldn't quite look at you, and the others, so I just stared everywhere but our table. The pizzeria was small and there weren't lots of people, which made the place feel cozy. I could almost feel comfortable in this situation, which was good.

I was awakened of my state as you tucked my coat's sleeve gently. I startled up a bit and gazed at your direction. I almost gulped as I saw your attractive face with that kind of expression – like you'd be using all your attention to me and me only. I felt myself blushing slightly and turned my face on the ground, which appeared so interesting to me now. It didn't help at all that I felt three pairs of eyes looking at me from the table. I ruffled my hair and said kind of bluntly ”Umh..What is it?”

I heard that you chuckled for that and I frowned, pouting. ”Aww he's such a grumpy fish, ” laughed Koudai and everyone else joined. ”Am not.” I blurted, awkward. Then I felt your soft hand on back of my head, petting my fuzzy hair. ”Calm down, you. All I wanted to say it seems like we have to share a chair because there's no room for another chair, table is too small.” You said casually, smile in corners of your lips, varying there like you'd be laughing secretly. ”Whaat? No way! We can't even fit there” I cried and Tomoya grinned while saying ”That's why sitting on the lap is invented.”

Oh my goodness. Were they for real? I glanced the pizzeria and saw plenty of free tables where we could have fitted better, chairs for everyone included. Why didn't they pick table with.. Then I realized. Prank, teasing, a test, how to maintain a straight face while sitting on the lap of one you liked. Our bandmates and idiotic friends were behind this. I could imagine that Tomoya had invented this whole affair, he was such a pain in the sometimes. Then more important thought occured to me, what on earth I was going to do now?

Author's note:

Hello everyone!

I just want to thank you so much for viewing my fic and taking time to read it ^^ Also thank you for lovely comments which have made my day <3 I'm so grateful.

Anyway about my updating in the future.. I'm going back to school next week and that means it's going to take more time to write this fic and edit chapters. So I'll probably not be able to post a chapter once a week anymore. I'm very sorry and I wish you'll understand ^^ 

Even though new chapters will be delayed, I wish you'll still keep reading and enjoying my fic :3 have a nice day everyone ^o^