CHAPTER ONE 

We were at my place, watching some tv, relaxing after exhausting day at work and laying on a couch. That wasn’t unusual, we are and have been good friends for a long time and you always tease me whenever you’ve a chance. I always kick you as you do that, laughing at the same time, because actually I don’t mind the slightest. Your teasing makes me more happier than anything else.

And so, here we were, watching some random tv-show and I was near of passing out, kind of leaning against your shoulder – in lack of having a pillow. I didn’t mind though, your shoulder smelt nice, the smell mixed of your scent and olive soap. And it was warm, just like your skin might be if I ever were to touch it. I suppose I was sort of nuzzling it, my eyes half closed and I didn’t even realize I was being embarassingly close to you.

Then the most amazing thing happened. You brought your face close to mine and all I could sense was you, you, you. I breathed deep in and your eyes glimmered just above mine. I inhaled sharply, trying to think sensibly what was happening to us. Then you were all of sudden kissing me, pressing your soft, wet lips to mine and I moaned - not able to have control over it and I wrapped my hand around your neck, bringing you closer. After that everything went blurred and it was just you and me, our wet tongues exploring each other's mouth and our hands were everywhere. I grasped your hair, neck and upper back, trying to breath in overwhelming heat and in need of you because that’s what it was. Need to feel you close and all over me, kissing me, breathing inside my mouth, that’s what I craved more than anything, had probably been craving for a long time, but I just hadn’t realized it so clearly before. Right now it was all I could think of.

You caressed my wings, your hands trembling, like trying to find the certain place to them. As I was feeling them trying to figure out their place I had this warm feeling inside me, everywhere, in my stomach, my legs and – in my heart. What you were doing was just so adorable and I had strong urge to draw you to my embrace, just to hold you close and breathing your scent in peace. It was just then when I realized I was in love with you - it wasn’t at all near of those crushes I have had before. This was entirely different.

In shock, I parted my lips from yours, my realization was just so strong and I couldn’t quite put my head over it. What was this? He had been, WAS, my best friend and the most important person to me. How could I just casually kiss you like I had done to my former girlfriends? Yet, I wanted it, I needed and yearned for it more than anything else. You just were so precious to me, that I wasn’t even sure what I was doing as I quickly pulled you back, wanting to redo it all, kissing and so on.

But you pulled away, your lips trembling. “Just what.. Is.. this?”I saw your eyes shining, the way I never had saw them shine before and they were also a bit shut down. It was like you’d be tired, even though I knew it was because what we did just before. I felt myself shivering. I hadn’t ever experienced such a tension between anyone I had been with, like fire which had been just set, trying to break free, to feel and be felt. I saw that your hands were in fists, trying to contain their shakiness and I couldn’t help myself but take them to my own ones, caress them softly, trying to calm you down, even a bit.

“I don’t know really..” I said softly, playing with your hands, not looking at your face which was full of different shades of emotions. I didn’t need to because I could feel your confusion, affection and anxiety by your aura. “I’m scared.. You’re my best friend and I’ve been feeling these weird emotions for awhile and..” Your voice was quiet but so anxious that I couldn't help it anymore. I reached you and wrapped my arms tightly around you, squeezing your warm and lean body against mine. “I love him.. I just love him so much.” Thoughts were buzzing on my head and what I noticed the best from these feelings, which dwelled deep inside me as you sobbed against my shoulder, were those words. “You know.. It’s same for me. I..feel also..” My voice cracked totally, unable to form my most genuine and strongest emotions. Simple three words and it just seemed like that I couldn’t say them out loud. I gulped nervously and as so you touched my chin, lifting it up. “You.. Feel what?” You seemed nervous too, but yet hopeful, like you’d be expecting me to say something. Something which would convenience you about everything, what we both apparently felt for each other.

This heat was too much, this situation was too much. I felt too much. I turned my eyes away from your burning ones and let out a sigh. “I.. it’s just temporal crush probably, nothing much.” I don’t know why I said that, I don’t mean it at all, I didn’t want to say that, I wanted to say that I..I.. “Temporal.. crush? I see..” Your voice was suddenly so distant and cold. I startled up, feeling suddenly so hollow. No, no that wasn’t what I.. “I guess it’s like that then. Sorry for kissing you, I think I should like.. Leave you alone for now, you don’t seem to feel too well right now, I’m sor-” your voice stopped suddenly and I took a look at your eyes. They were full of tears, pain and hurt in them. I opened my mouth in shock and immediately reached for your eyes to wipe them, but you pushed my hand away. “No pity, thanks.” You tried to smile so bravely and I felt like the worst thing which was ever born. “No, you got it wrong, I mean I didn’t mean it like that..” You didn't even answer and I felt emptiness sinking through me. By then I realized that right now I totally screwed my chance to happiness and the best thing I ever had - my friendship to the most precious and important person in my life, the person I’m in love with. 

Author's note:

Hello everyone! :3

This is my first fanfic I've ever published, wish you like it~

I just wanted to ask if I should continue this to next chapter, is there anyone who'd like to read more? Please comment if you want to read more of this, feedback is greatly appreciated! ^^

Anyway, thank you so much if you stopped to read this, it means world to me ^o^