“To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around.” 
- Richie Norton, Resumes Are Dead and What to Do About It

Chemophobia – Fear of chemicals

Kim Kibum | SHINee

Note: Picture does not belong to me | Source

“I’ll be pairing you up for the practical assessments. You can use the lab after school; your project must be ready by next week – no extensions!”

The class groaned as the teacher informed them of their assignment.

“This accounts for twenty five percent of your final grade, so don’t blow it!” the teacher spoke sternly. He proceeded to read off names from a list, announcing the pairings he’d already decided upon.

“…Kim Kibum and Jung Tanya …”

The two looked up, surprised.

Kim Kibum, better known to his peers as Key, had been in the same class as Tanya for nearly four years. Despite this, the two had never spared each other glances, let alone talk to each other.

The two had no reason to interact either; they were complete opposites. Key was the loud and obnoxious fashionista who loved to be the center of attention and Tanya was the quiet and shy wallflower who wished to blend into the background.

Key turned around in his seat and tried to catch Tanya’s eye but her gaze was planted firmly on her desk. ‘I’ll just talk to her after class,’ Key convinced himself.

But the moment the bell had rung, Tanya had bolted from the classroom leaving behind a bewildered Key.

“H-Hey, wait!” he tried to call out to her but it was too late, she was already lost in the crowd.

Key frowned. ‘It’s okay, I’ll just research the project then tell her which part is hers and which is mine,’ he decided.

Key pulled yet another book off the shelf. Their project involved testing the reactivity of different metals; they had to show the samples as well as submit a written report.

He neatly made lists of the things to be done and divided the work. When he was done, he collected all the books he’d taken from the school library and began returning them to their respective shelves.

‘Where’d I get this one from?’ Key eyed his last book.

When he found the shelf, he placed the book back and turned to leave but stopped when he spotted someone at the back of the room.

The diva made an immediate beeline towards the oblivious girl. He slammed the papers onto her table causing her to jump and look at him with wide eyes.

Key smiled at her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Here,” he took a seat at her table not noticing her frown. “I divided the project so that we each have work to do. We can use the lab tomorrow after school; you could work with the first ten elements in the reactivity table –”

Key stopped mid-sentence when Tanya jumped up.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Tanya muttered then hastily rushed out of the library.

“W-Wait –” Key called but Tanya had disappeared yet again.

Key scowled. He was starting to get annoyed with Tanya’s evasiveness. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow morning,’ he determined.

The next morning, Key leaned against Tanya’s locker. He was sure she’d come there to get her books for first period and this time, he’d definitely talk to her. After waiting for a few more minutes, he finally noticed the girl.

She walked with a timid and cautious air about her; it made her seem somewhat small and vulnerable. When she looked up and caught sight of the diva, her eyes widened and she turned immediately to walk away.

But Key was ready this time. With speed that would put star athletes to shame, he rushed up to the girl and grabbed her arm. She struggled violently but he managed to drag her into an empty hallway.

“Stop it,” he hissed when she didn’t stop trying to get out of his grip. A few more failed attempts later, she did.

“Look, I am sick and tired of your attitude. If you don’t want to work with me, just say it so I can ask the teacher for a new partner. I don’t know about you, but I really care about my grade. I will not have you ruining it for me by refusing to co-operate. I’ll be waiting in the school library today after school. If you don’t come, I’ll have no choice but to complain to the teacher. Got it?”

When the shy girl nodded, Key flipped his hair arrogantly and walked away.

The library was pretty much empty as it was Friday evening and most would rather hang out with friends. Key wasn’t too happy about spending his Friday evening in the library either but what other choice did he have? The project had to be submitted first thing Monday morning and he’d wasted most of his time playing hide and seek with his partner.

Speaking of evasive partners, Key perked up when he noticed Tanya walk into the library. Frankly, he was surprised she’d even bothered to turn up. He stood up and waved to catch her attention.

Tanya walked up to the table and took a seat silently. Key didn’t bother with pleasantries, all he wanted to do was finish the project and go home.

He laid out all the research he’d done. “Now, our project is about the reactivity of different metals. I think it’d be best if you took half of the metals and did the tests and wrote up the report. I’ll do my half and then we can meet up of Saturday and compile them.”

Tanya fidgeted uncomfortably. “Actually, Kibum-shii, could you do the tests? I can write the book report instead.”

Key frowned, “That would take up a lot of time as I would have to report all my tests to you and then you’d have to type up the report. What’s the problem with my set-up anyway?”

Tanya seemed distracted as she answered, “Can’t you reconsider? I don’t think I can –”

“I don’t care. If you had bothered to talk to me a week back to discuss our project, you could’ve done the report by yourself while I did the experiments but now there’s just no time. We’re going with my plan and that’s that.” Key’s patience had burned out. He stood stiffly and began to collect up his papers.

“W-Wait!” Tanya called frantically before he could leave.

Key shot her an annoyed look but softened slightly when she gave him a pleading stare. He sat back reluctantly and regarded her with curious eyes.

Tanya took a deep breath. “When I was in my previous school in Daegu, I was quiet and introverted. It made me a great target for bullies. One day, I had to stay back to clean up the classroom and my partner was a boy named Jaeho. Jaeho was one of the boys who enjoyed tormenting me the most.

We worked silently for the most part but when we were done and I was about to leave, Jaeho stopped me. He wore the same menacing smile he did when he bullied someone. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial.

I didn’t know what it was at that time; all I knew that my shoulder felt like it was on fire when he poured it on me. It hurt…so much. I think at some point I fainted; when I came to, I was all alone.

Jaeho was gone but my shoulder still felt horrible. My skin seemed burnt and tender and when my mom caught a sight of me, she immediately rushed me to the hospital. It was hydrochloric acid…and it left a mark.”

Tanya reached up and slowly pulled the collar of her shirt down, giving Key a glimpse of the slightly discolored and tender looking flesh. It was a shade or two darker than her normal complexion and started at her collar bone and travelled up her shoulder. Key flinched at the sight, horrified that someone would do this to a girl, or anyone for that matter. It was just inhumane.

Tanya straightened her shirt and continued, her voice more shaky than before, “Ever since, I’ve been really scared of chemicals. My parents tried to help me get over it, we moved here hoping the bullying would stop and it did. People at this school don’t bother you if you don’t get in their way. But I wasn’t able to get over my fear. I wouldn’t have even taken chemistry if it wasn’t a requirement. I know it might seem irrational to you and you’ll probably laugh with your friends about this but this is why I can’t do the project with you.”

Before Key could get a word out, maybe apologize for his horrible behavior, express his guilt or sympathy, Tanya was on her feet, rushing out of the library. Key was left behind, a hollow feeling in his gut.

It was Monday morning and Tanya walked into her Chemistry class gloomily. Key had tried calling her several times in the weekend but she’d adamantly refused to talk to him. She knew he had probably complained to the teacher by now and that she’d fail her chemistry class, but she was just too embarrassed to face him again.

The teacher soon walked into the classroom and smiled at the students. “So I went through all of the projects submitted by you guys and I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with Kibum and Tanya-shii’s project. Outstanding work. The rest of you who are yet to hand in your projects can do so at the end of this class.”

Tanya’s head shot up at her teacher’s comment. What? But I never –

She turned to Key slowly, a shocked expression plastered on her face. But when she met Key’s eye, he simply winked, gave her a smile and turned back in his seat.

Tanya sat surprised for a second longer, then reached into her bag to pull out her book, a gentle smile tugging at her lips.

Author's Note

Hey guys! It feels like forever since I wrote something... Sigh...

I just finished week two of university. It was really fun, you know, except the homework :/

Anyway, I hope you guys liked this update. Subscribe, comment and up-vote, it makes me super happy ^_^