Seeing Kyungsoo at her apartment first thing on a Wednesday morning was not what Suzie expected, let alone prepared for, as he pressed his finger continuously on the doorbell. She moved quickly to hide Minseok’s note, before swinging the door open gently with a welcoming smile.

‘Kyungsoo!’ She maintained her expression, she was glad to see Kyungsoo, he was one of the few members who made quick progress under her tutoring and he was one of the few besides Minseok she felt entirely comfortable alone with.

‘Hey,’ His smile was small, forcing his heart shaped lips a little way apart to show off his teeth, ‘Do you mind? It’s cold out.’ His words were soft as he gestured to her doorway, he was always so polite. Suzie took a step back allowing him entry. It was strange enough for Kyungsoo to turn up without letting her know, stranger that he’d actually want to come in for something. She nodded her ‘sure’ and wandered into the kitchen to set about making a cup of coffee for them both.

‘How’ve you been? How is everybody? Especially Luhan!’ Her words were a little forced, falling slightly short of casual as Kyungsoo swung himself into one of her barstool style chairs under the kitchen counter. Suzie’s concern for Luhan was genuine, that kid was so sweet, she’d always had a soft spot for him.

‘Everyone’s fine,’ Kyungsoo murmured but a flash of amusement coloured his small face, ‘Why aren’t you worried about Minseok?’ She laughed but chewed her lip anxiously with a soft smile, the sunlight shone through window momentarily, casting glancing rays through her wide blue eyes.

‘Why would I be worried about Minseok-Oppa?’ Panicking, Suzie busied herself with making their coffee. She internally screamed at the word that had fallen past her lips. Oppa? What am I thinking? Kyungsoo observed the way Suzie busied herself making the coffee; noticing the way she grimaced when the term of endearment slipped out . A few minutes passed in silence as she finished their drinks and settled herself opposite him at the counter, he played with the corner of the napkin she slipped under his cup. But it wasn’t nervous jittering that caused his hands to move, it was a delicate and thoughtful movement, he was up to something.

Staring at Suzie carefully, observing everything she did with his orb like eyes, Kyungsoo was hatching a plan.

‘Do you know what, Suzie?’ He suddenly asked propping his heart shaped face up on his elbows.

‘I do. But I suppose you’re going to tell me again anyway, Oppa.’ She muttered, hardly in the mood for what she knew was coming next.

‘Do you really know what?’ He repeated, this time a mischievous grin carefully creeping onto his lips.

‘Don’t do it, Kyungsoo.’ He looked up and plastered his best serious face over his smile, before finally breaking into Baby Don’t Cry in the middle of her kitchen.

‘When you smile, sun shines’, He sang that one line at her repeatedly, as she chuckled at how silly he could be when he was comfortable and when he was trying to make her laugh. Waving her hands at him as he deliberately warbled the notes, swapping back and forth between the original Korean lyrics and a weak English translation, Suzie could feel a sense of familiarity between them that she’d missed. They were both reduced to laughter; he’d been doing that ever since they first met. Kyungsoo hummed gently, a larger grin staining his face a shade of happy that confused her, ‘Minseok Oppa agrees with me, Suzie, about your smile that is.’ His eyes were soft and so aware, they followed hers. She suddenly realised what was going on.

‘He told you.’ Her voice cracked. It was over. It was all over. She felt her heart swallow all the happiness she was just feeling, like a great creature swallowing the ocean, in every last drop like some great receding wave. She knew Kyungsoo appearing at random for a nice chat was too good to be true. How could they keep seeing each other now? As broken and unrequited as her love was she still needed Minseok, when he was here she didn’t care that he’d been gone for months. Now it was only a matter of time before everyone found out. Not only would she never see him again but she’d be ruined. Decent work was scarce enough as it was without a reputation of sleeping with ex-students hanging over her head.

It took her five minutes to explain to Kyungsoo, five minutes to total the affection she’d shared with Minseok. It could’ve taken her seconds. He came, he spent the night and he left her leaving nothing behind but a cup of coffee and a ridiculous note. But some part of her ached at the thought of her devotion over the last year being rendered inert in a few short words, her heart and body and soul being hung out to dry in the cold, harsh light of day was something she just wasn’t quite ready for. She stirred her coffee furiously and threw a stack of letters from the still open drawer at Kyungsoo, ‘Read these. Do you think he really cares for me? Do you think that every time he comes here I’m not just some blanket to help him not feel the cold? I’m nothing to him. He’ll get a little older and leave the company and marry some gorgeous girl who’s stick thin and pretentious and doesn’t understand him and I’ll wait here hoping that someday he’ll admit that he was wrong.’

‘But you’re wrong.’ Kyungsoo’s smile never vanished, he’d had his fun and now he was suddenly very, very serious but his smile never inched away from his lips. He left his cup of coffee and didn’t say a word as he let himself out, it took her a few seconds to realise he’d written a few words on the corner of one of the notes with the pen left loitering on the counter.

Call him. Thank me later.