Our entire school knew who Zico was, that cool and chic smart guy.

Unlike a typical school genius, Zico was far from what a person would coin as a nerd. He was somewhat considered a trendsetter and the face of our school. Girls admired him and the guys respected him but it wasn't as dramatic as it seemed. Everyone just knew him as the school's "genius" but kept a comfortable distance. Zico sure didn't show it even if he did enjoy all that attention. He kept his cool and didn't stir up any trouble at all. He was polite and had on satisfactory behaviour but yet somehow he was able to give off a nonchalant and charismatic image that made the girls swoon.

And where does Junhong appear in this perfect scenario? Bestfriends in school with brother? Of course not! I never had a place in this perfect story. No one knew of my existence as Zico's younger brother, just as Choi Junhong, just another boy from class 4A. My average, or sometimes under average grades, would have been a disgrace to my brother that genius.

So I kept my safe distance and so did he. I didn't want anyone to know that I was related to Zico in anyway. Being compared to him at home made me anxious enough already. I honestly didn't know how I would react if people started comparing Zico to me in school on top of that. I feared that people would start looking at me with judgment before they got to know me as Choi Junhong,  and instead know me only as Zico's younger brother.

I often saw him in school with his group of popular friends as I left a wide berth between them and me. As I observed from a distance, they were always laughing, fooling around together. Never once did I see him unhappy in school. He always went around with a smile on his face and I could tell he genuinely cared about his friends and so did they. It upset me to think that I would never have a group of friends like he did because I was a little on the quiet side and I was bad at approaching people. I wasn't an outcast but yet at the same time I was not much better off than those who were. I didn't know how to reach out to people because no one ever did so to me and so as everyone else formed their groups of friends over time and had their share of fun and laughter in school, I had none.

I was quiet at home, quiet in school, but yet in my heart it was loud chaotic mess. It was a whirlwind of feelings that I couldn't quite comprehend. It was hard to have any peace and calm when Zico was around and to keep everything inside without having any random outbursts was tiring and burdensome.

Thankfully though I had an outlet to vent my frustration.