I wasn't thinking straight. The anger was coursing throughout my entire being and I couldn't hold it back.

Towering over him, I whispered shakily by his ear, "Who... who the hell are you too just mess up my life right from the start? What rights do you have to snatch away all the chances I ever got? Do you know that because of you, I have been living in pure misery? I'm always put in your shadows, always one level down behind you, Woo Jiho. At home, at school I can't be at ease when you are around. Now you come and tell me these lies? Who do you think you are? You aren't my brother so don't call me your brother. Brothers don't kill off each other's hopes and dreams like you did to me. Rap was the one and only thing I had. You had everything I could ever wish for but you just had to snatch away the only thing I had learnt to love. Honestly, does it make you that happy to see me suffer?"

I glared down into his face, willing for my tears to fall only when he was gone. I didn't want to show my weak side to anyone, especially him now that he knew what he had put me through. But when I saw his face, all the weakness I felt previously was gone. He had a look of shock and hurt on his face, like I had killed some part of him. I felt nauseous. I felt like I was losing control off my entire being. I was so filled up with hatred I couldn't think straight.

 The silence was deafening and the tension in the room was starting to suffocate me. Then he spoke, "I... I'm so so sorry. I never realized..." I cut him off harshly, "Shut up you don't know anything." With that I shoved him backwards with all that I had kept within me for the past years and he fell backwards helplessly.

What happened next was a blur.

I could only see the trickle of blood down his head and the puddle that had started to pool on the wooden floorboards of my room. I paled and stared down at him with glassy eyes. What had I done? I remember my parents rushing in and asking what happened. I remember him weakly whispering to them that it had been an accident. I remember him being whisked away to the hospital with the sirens of the ambulance. The sirens haunt me till this day.

I was left in my room alone. It took me a long while to understand what I had just done. I was afraid, confused and I didn't know what to think. My hands were clammy and my throat felt constricted. I was horrified, terribly lost. I only knew that I should never have done what I had just did. I wish I had realized earlier.

I was a monster. I was disgusting.