I want to reach you and hold you even tighter now but you're already gone. My world, my love, my everything. Did I make the wrong decision? Will this just make things worse? 

I went to my room to fetch the keys of the car I rented. All I want to do right now is get away. I don't care where or how, but any place is good as long as it's far from here. 

I stopped as the signal from the traffic light became red and an empty white vision engulfed my sight. I felt an endless searing pain and I couldn' see anything. As my body drifted into the darkness, his image never left my mind.

Images of my childhood flooded from nowhere. Memories with my mother appeared one by one and I stood there watching in confusion, trying to think where I am. I don't feel pained anymore. Where am I?

Pictures of different memories came perfectly in order. From when mom died and appa and I had to move here, the laughs I shared with appa alone, the stories I wrote and the worlds I imagined, they all came back at once.

It saved the best for last because it then attacked me with my memories of Donghae and Henry. The days I spent with Donghae, how happy we were before, how Krystal came, how they fought each other, how I met Henry oppa, that special day in the amusement park, his confession, our mission with Kyuhyun oppa, it made me cry.

As I cried in the middle of nowhere, I realized that I still want to cherish these memories and make new ones with the man I love but it's too late. I'm in the middle of an endless and lifeless road of the nothing. In the middle of a war between two great countries, the first one to die in the game of life.

Is this how it feels to die?