"Should we kiss?"

"What?"

"I don't know, maybe they'd see we're serious if we kiss in front of everyone. Besides," Chanyeol laces his fingers with the other's. "I want to kiss you."

Kyungsoo's eyes widen and he pulls away, breaking the skinship between him and Chanyeol and gaping.

"Are you crazy? They're already throwing us against lockers as it is, and now you want me to kiss you?" He glances to the left to where he notices boys chuckling, eggs in hand as they watch the show. Chanyeol doesn't notice anything but the disdain in his eyes as he whispers. "Look Chanyeol, I like you, but I'm not ready for this." He raises his tone and to Chanyeol's horror, balls his fists in an angry facade.

"Park Chanyeol, you're disgusting! I don't want anything to do with you alright?!"

Kyungsoo stomped off as if breaking someone's heart was a daily routine for him, and Chanyeol could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks and turning the tips of his ears bright pink.

Then he heard the laughing, and just like that, he was pelted with an egg.

Chanyeol shoved Baekhyun away, his expression somewhere between losing his puppy and eating something past the expiration date as his lips detached from the other's. He stood, staring at Baekhyun with no words as the other dropped from his toes and fell back to his normal height. He instantly placed two fingers on his lips and muttered 'oh ' as he glanced up from underneath his bangs, his cheeks flush.

That was not the reaction Chanyeol had hoped for from a first kiss.

He instantly turned around, racing down the hall, and as soon as he turned the corner he broke into a run, practically flying out of the double doors of the school and stumbling down the stairs. His knees felt week and his heart was beating twice the normal pace. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand and peered through shattered lenses as he felt something like tears burn at his eyes and he knew for sure. He did not like this school.

Baekhyun was in shock at his actions, his fingers slipping over the softness of his own lips and he could swear he could still feel Chanyeol's still on them. Chanyeol seemed just as shocked and Baekhyun could feel the friction of embarrassment passing through the both of them. Then Chanyeol ran; and Baekhyun let him go.

He looked around at the crowd of students and quickly regained his confidence, snarling with as much anger as he could manage for them to 'get the out or get shoved inside a locker.'

His feet wanted to move in the direction in which Chanyeol had escaped but he couldn't; because what would he even say? "Sorry Chanyeol but your lips looked real nice.", "Sorry, I just had a little bit of an urge to you.", "Sorry, but did you know that when you get exasperated you actually look really cute?"

.

This was not going to work out at all.

                                                                                       ✴
 

Baekhyun twirled the pencil through his fingers, occasionally dropping it and making an obnoxious clattering noise before doing it all over again.

His teacher went on, and on, and on. His eyes were drifting closed and he could hardly care but as Junmyeon jabbed him in the ribs he had a sudden realization that he was nearly failing this class, and yet another that he didn't actually care. Despite Junmyeon's greatest efforts, he found himself being woken up, surprisingly having slept through the last three periods of class and leaving Junmyeon very bored for the last half of the day.

He came in, laying his head on the table and staring directly at Baekhyun.

"Baek," he whispered but there was no reply other than Baekhyun's heavy breathing. Junmyeon took that as a sign of safety and continued. "Baekhyun, I know that there's definite chemistry between you two." Assuming Baekhyun was deaf to the world he found no need to explain his thoughts or the fact that Chanyeol was more of a threat to him than anything. "But Byun Baekhyun, do you know how much I've wished for the same chemistry between us?" His gaze slid over the soft features of Baekhyun's face starting with his pale pink lips. He'd kissed Baekhyun a few times, although not a lot, they were special and precious and he wanted desperately to go further. His eyes traveled up the bridge of Baekhyun's nose. Anyone else would've thought he had gotten plastic surgery, Junmyeon had even heard that he was teased in elementary as they told him he was too young to get a nose job, but it was totally natural, and Junmyeon was proud of the fact that his boyfriend was so pretty. His eyes wandered up farther to Baekhyun's, and he nearly jumped back as the boy stared directly at him, sleep still in his eyes but not changing the fact that his gaze was sharp. Junmyeon took a deep breath.

"School is over."

"I know."

"Baekhyun,"

"What is it?"

"Let's have ."

Baekhyun gaped at him for a moment before  nodding.

"Alright."

It would be his first time but not Junmyeon's. He had already known Junmyeon wasn't a and he figured that it would be good since someone there would have experience.

It was strange. They made the smallest of chatter, Baekhyun asking what he missed for class and Junmyeon responding with how stupid he thought it was that the boy had managed to sleep in the room for the whole three periods whereas Junmyeon gets in trouble for using the bathroom and almost being a half minute late. He chuckled, but the air was still uncomfortable. Is this how it normally is? They knew exactly what they were doing and it was awkward thinking that they were sneaking into Baekhyun's house simply for the purpose of having .

They crept up the stairs, even though Baekhyun's parents were both at work they felt the need to be quiet. Baekhyun stepped into his room, Suho behind him, and as he made his way to close the blinds Junmyeon grabbed his wrist, whispering a small 'wait' as he pulled Baekhyun in closer. The boy's breath was shaky as their lips touched, Junmyeon placing his hand on Baekhyun's cheek and gently sliding his other hand underneath Baekhyun's slacks, rubbing his palm against the warm skin. Baekhyun squirmed and Junmyeon slid the material down as far as he could reach without breaking their kiss. Their tongues twirled together, sliding across each other as Junmyeon became more excited, his breath coming out more rapid as he held Baekhyun tighter, now forcing his shirt up and sliding it over his head. Baekhyun complied, grabbing the cloth and throwing it to the ground, reaching for Junmyeon's belt and fumbling with the buckle.

Junmyeon stepped forward, Baekhyun stumbling and bumping into the wall. The elder pinning him back, grabbing his wrists and holding them up above his head. Baekhyun's eyes shut tight, focusing on nothing but the heat between them and the feeling of Junmyeon's lips, but he found the he didn't think of them as Junmyeon's. He thought of them as Chanyeol's. He thought of the soft and perfect kiss he had with the other and his knees went weak as he imagined Chanyeol being the one to pin him to the wall in this exact manner, but as soon as he realized that it wasn't Chanyeol planting the sweet kisses along his collar bone, but Junmyeon, he was at a loss, no excitement bubbling through him, no exasperation, and his fissiparous feelings dissipated just like that.

He let out a muffled "Junmyeon, stop." And the elder immediately halted, his eyes conflicted as he looked up at Baekhyun, his hands releasing Baekhyun's wrists and he stepped back slowly, nearly tripping. His movements were awkward as he pursed his lips and Baekhyun's muscles relaxed, his head resting against the wall, his bare chest exposed to the boy in front of him.

"Did I do something?"

"It doesn't feel right."

"Wha-"

"I can't do it, Junmyeon."

"Why not?"

"I cheated on you."

Junmyeon's eyes widened and his heart dropped to his stomach in an instant, leaving an empty cavernous feeling in his chest.

"When."

His question was more of a demand for facts and Baekhyun swallowed nervously, watching Junmyeon's expression change from to heartbroken.

"Yesterday. I... Kissed the new guy."

Junmyeon smiled weakly, his voice quivering, and Baekhyun didn't think any amount of comforting would fix the shattering he felt in his own heart. 

"I trusted you Baekhyun, and the one day I'm sick, you kiss someone else?"

Baekhyun nodded shakily, feeling too disheartened to cry.

"Suho," Junmyeon was shocked at the use of his nickname as Baekhyun only seemed to use it when he was getting really desperate. "There's no chemistry."

He nodded, reaching down and grabbing his clothes from the floor.

"I know."

"So we should stop pretending shouldn't we?"

He nodded, a smile growing on his face as his voice sounded desperate to hide the obvious pain.

"I expected this anyway." He moved forward once again, gave Baekhyun a chaste kiss, and like that, he exited Baekhyun's room for the last time.

Baekhyun dropped the act instantly. No matter how much chemistry there was he definitely did not appreciate hurting people unless they had done something worthy of being hurt for, and Junmyeon looked completely and utterly hurt, having committed nothing so much as a finger out of place.

He heard him let out a deep breath outside of his door, maybe even a few sobs, and heard the front door slam shut.

He collapsed onto his bed, curling into a ball and grabbing his phone, instantly turning it on to see a picture of him and Junmyeon and a shudder ran through his body.

He had just given up his steady, perfect, caring boyfriend, for someone who may not like him even the tiniest bit.

He shut his eyes tight, Suho's face appearing in his mind, and did his best to fall asleep before he could manage to cry.

                                                                                     ✴

Chanyeol rubbed his eyes, reaching for his glasses only to remember that his mom had refused to let him walk around in them for another day and given him a pair of contacts to deal with.

He groaned, standing up and putting them in, only putting in a small amount of effort to straighten his hair as he had been told that pictures were today and if he had another over-the-top awful picture, he'd never hear the end of it.

He'd been sick for a whole weekend. Not necessarily throwing up or unable to breath, but more of an internal sickness, the kind of thing that comes from dwelling on something that you really shouldn't have been thinking so much about but you can't help it.

Baekhyun's kiss.

That was his reason.

Although he had passed it off as being nauseous.

This would be his first Monday as he had started last week on a Wednesday and he couldn't stand the idea of facing a Monday on top of facing this "new and more open school" as his mother had called it.

As soon as he opened his locker, he knew that something was up.

First, a note fell out.

It was small and yellow and Chanyeol thought maybe it would be a death sentence calling him to die for being utterly lame and exhausting to look at.

He had gotten that before.

But when he unfolded it, it was nothing like he had expected.

There were three words, written very neatly, a swirl above the 'i' and a smiley face at the top right corner.

'I missed you'

He felt like this was some cruel joke, or maybe something dropped into his locker by accident.

He looked to his right, and caught a glimpse of the cute petite boy walking his way.

His eyes instantly turned toward his calculus book and as Baekhyun turned to locker 1203 he pretended to be completely ignorant of the fact that he had just checked Baekhyun out as he was coming toward him.

He shut his locker, leaning against the slippery green metal and lifting his eyebrows at Baekhyun.

"What happened to the jacket?"

Baekhyun didn't reply.

"Are you alright? Your hair looks pretty awful. I heard it was picture day today, don't you care?"

Another few seconds of silence.

"I was wondering if maybe we could...... Meet up at lunch. I uh... Think we should talk about what happened."

Baekhyun slammed his locker shut, coughing into his arm and turning away without a glance toward Chanyeol.

He felt completely dejected.

Couldn't Baekhyun tell that he was trying really incredibly hard to be pleasant? What was wrong with him? He actually was legitimately trying to be nice because he figured not acknowledging Baekhyun would just make things worse but apparently the latter didn't feel the same.

Lunch rolled around and Chanyeol figured that Baekhyun's silence had meant he didn't have any intention to meet up, so he was incredibly surprised when he saw Baekhyun walk toward him, milk carton in hand, and point him to the door.

"You wanted to talk right?"

Chanyeol nodded, following behind the smaller as they went out and sat on the steps of the back entrance to the school.

He got a spoonful of curry and shoved it in his mouth as he watched Baekhyun curiously, the elder opening the carton of his milk and taking a swig.

"You were the one who wanted to talk to me right? So shouldn't you talk?"

Chanyeol swallowed his mouthful, almost letting it get stuck in his throat, and peered up at Baekhyun.

"Um, well, about the kiss. I just wanted to know.... Why did you do that?"

Baekhyun glanced over at Chanyeol, and only then did he realize just how attractive the other looked. This was the first time Baekhyun had seen Chanyeol without glasses - other than when they were shut tight, red, and completely irritated from chemicals, -  and frankly, his eyes were beautiful. Sure they might protrude from his face a little, but they only made him look more amazing. His light hair was sweeping messily over his forehead, and the way he was positioned sitting on the steps made him look strangely unprotected and open. If Baekhyun hadn't spent the whole weekend hating himself he might've had an urge to pounce the kid right then and there.

He ignored his hormones and looked away, watching happy couples walk through the parking lot and wishing very much that he had been straight and completely uninvolved with Junmyeon and everyone else.

Chanyeol waited, silently chewing, and Baekhyun finally came up with an answer, however stupid and false it might be.

"It was nothing." Chanyeol's heart plummeted to the bottom of his stomach and the curry suddenly didn't have any taste at all. "I don't even know why I did it. Maybe I was too excited to have a new kid around. There's never been anyone who transfers in the middle of the year before. You're kind of special." He took another swig of milk, crumpling the empty carton in his hand. "I wasn't thinking at all really. I guess I was carried away and I was just kind of ty at that moment." He smirked, throwing the carton into the bushes and staring directly at Chanyeol. "But you don't have to worry. The kiss meant nothing to me either. I had with Junmyeon that night and my hormones were completely taken care of so you don't have to give a or think I'll try something like that again. I know you probably hate me after that, and there's no way we can just be friends with a no-strings-attached kind of relationship, so I guess what I'm saying right now is... You don't have to worry. I'll stay away from you in the halls and you can feel free to ignore me."

Chanyeol's eyes widened more than should be possible and Baekhyun stood, pushing the door open and glancing back one last time.  What really took the younger aback was the fact that Baekhyun had said 'either' because that was completely and utterly untrue. He had enjoyed the kiss, possibly enough to make him want to do it again if the circumstance ever arose, but Baekhyun was definitely not in the mood as his expression was smug and his eyes amused at Chanyeol's discomfort, his words thick with disgust.

"Oh and today, it's not picture day. That won't happen for another few months. Consider yourself lucky. Maybe you can get plastic surgery before then."

Chanyeol felt like complete as Baekhyun left. And Baekhyun felt the same as soon as he stepped in to the warm atmosphere of the cafeteria and heard instant silence.

The people standing around looked at him as if he had just killed someone, and finally after moments of painful crickets, a boy spoke up.

"Hey Baek!"

Baekhyun cringed at the use of the name.

"Did you really lose your ity?"

Baekhyun looked up at the boy in shock and balled his fists, trying not to get angry at the fact that someone had been eavesdropping on that way-too-personal conversation.

Baekhyun nodded, and saw as another boy began laughing.

"I broke up with Junmyeon right after though!" He chuckled. "He wasn't as good as I expected." A blonde kid who Baekhyun recognized as Luhan, let out a excited laugh as he raised his hand.

"How much will it cost for you to me?!"

Baekhyun felt the beginning of tears welling in his eyes and he smiled back.

"It's pretty ing expensive!"

He pushed his way passed the amused teens and walked into the restroom, stepping into a stall as he received a pat on the back for finally gaining his "right of passage" or whatever they called it. Normally any gay kid would've been laughed at and then been given the honorable title of 'ultra gay' if he had been rumored to have actually had , but then again, Baekhyun  had stood up for a lot of people, he had been kind and helpful to a lot of them despite his threatening and the bullying he did, he was kind on the inside and everyone knew it. Half of them weren't even afraid of him but rather pretended to be just to give him a little more of a confidence boost, and they weren't about to tell him that,  so they weren't going to start mocking him now of all times.

His hand slid the lock of the stall and he tumbled against the back wall, biting his lower lip hard as he felt a single tear manage to escape his eye. He dropped the facade, pressing his palms to his eyes and holding his breath because he had really ed up big time now. How could he have said that to Chanyeol? What was he thinking? Saying "You should get plastic surgery" would get him nowhere with this whole crush business. He wanted to die right there and then. He really did. He heard the boys exit the bathroom and after a second of complete silence broke into hysteric sobs followed with choked repetition of the words "I'm sorry Chanyeol. I didn't mean it." He went on like that for at least three minutes, hearing the door squeak and immediately biting his lips all over again to shut himself up.

He heard a knock on the stall and his eyes ventured underneath where he saw ragged Converse.

"Hey, Baekhyun."

Chanyeol's voice was clear.

"I'll forgive you. I'll forgive you right now if you come out and apologize to my face."

Baekhyun squeaked out syllables, unsure he was even forming words.

"You heard me? Why would you even do that?"

"The entire cafeteria would've heard you if I hadn't thrown my plate of curry at somebody and blamed it on the guy next to me. There's an insane food fight going on out there and you're missing it." He paused and Baekhyun could hear him resting against the stall door.

"I don't want to give you a chance. I've been alone for a long time and to be honest I would like to be that way for the rest of my high school carrier." He took in a deep breath. "But for some insane reason I think maybe I should give you the benefit of the doubt."

Baekhyun reached for the lock on the door and slowly slid it halfway.

"But if you do a single thing to make me doubt you, I will shut you out immediately and never look back. I don't want to have some stupid ual relationship with you. You're not attractive to me either so I don't think we have to worry about that."

He slid the lock three-fourths of the way. This was the most he had ever heard Chanyeol speak and he felt incredibly honored to be hearing the deep voice go on.

"But I think my mom is going to take me to therapy soon if I don't find someone to bring home - as a friend - and convince her that I can actually have a social life."

Baekhyun swung the door open and looked at Chanyeol as if he were a four year old about to be punished. Chanyeol stood straight, lifting his gaze from the ground and looking at Baekhyun's tear stained cheeks.

"So if you can manage to not be a complete and utter bastard, I think we could make this work."

Baekhyun nodded.

"Chanyeol, I'm really sorry about saying that. I didn't mean it alright? I didn't think it was even possible to get so entangled with someone this quickly."

Chanyeol held out his hand, pursing his lips.

"So can we be friends?"

A weak smile spread over Baekhyun's face as he placed his hand in Chanyeol's and they shook.

"I think I'd like that."

                    ✴ Never Before ✴