Sometimes there's those nights when you look at the stars and think the world is so bright and lively, but as soon as you look around you, there's nothing but pitch black and the feeling of being alone. I know that I'm not alone. I know that someone else is looking at the stars in the same way I am. But we're seeing different things, and it's just so incredibly hard to think that maybe I'm not the only one, because I've always been the only one, as if I've adapted to it. I want someone to save me. 

That's what Chanyeol thought, every minute he had spent staring up at the stars when he was younger. 

He had always been looked on as an outcast. He was awkward, and his voice started cracking at a young age making it even easier for people to laugh at him, telling him he was just a spastic kid who didn't know how to control his crazy auburn hair. 

By the time he transferred to a new high school, he had given up on being accepted and had settled for shallow friendships. He figured if he smiled a lot and put in all his effort to be nice, the kids who had so much as an ounce of pity wouldn't have the heart to push him away. 

Still, that didn't change the fact that he was never invited to parties. He was never asked if he wanted to hang out. He was set up for the worst. His dark framed glasses, his wild hair, the spark in his eyes, his comical height, even his smile could betray him sometimes and give him some of the worst year book pictures. It didn't matter much whether his pictures were awful or not though. 

When Chanyeol was in fourth grade, he had gone over to an Oh Sehun's house. It was a play date set up by their moms so Sehun didn't have much of a choice, but Chanyeol was sure he wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for Sehun's mom and the pity she had for the already hysterically tall boy. 

"What's this?" 

Chanyeol frowned, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout as he lifted the yearbook for Sehun to see. The blonde boy had stared at it for a moment, gripping the drinks tightly in his hand. 

"Sehun, why?" 

The black scribbles and the word 'idiot!' covered  his picture, every picture he was in had some sort of mustache or buck teeth drawn on. Sehun stuttered for a moment.

"It's nothing... It's just something I caught my friends doing when they came over."

Chanyeol would've believed it, but he knew Sehun's hand writing. They were in fourth grade. Your handwriting was either beyond awful or rare like Sehun's, perfect little swirls inside of the o's, he just had to speak up and the words came out in a whisper almost too quiet to hear. 

"You're lying."

He didn't expect him to react so harshly as the cups of ice tea fell to the floor and spilled the contents all over the creamy shag carpet. 

"Face it Park!" Sehun balled his fists as he glared at Chanyeol. "Nobody likes you! Nobody will ever like you! You're just an awkward misfit and if my mom didn't promise to get me a new Game Cube then I wouldn't have even tried to be nice!" 

Chanyeol felt tears pricking at his eyes, looked down at his lap and staring at the picture of himself, sliding his gaze across the messy sharpie marks. 

"Can't you just pretend?" 

His whisper was almost drowned out by the washing machine droning on in the other room and Sehun's eyes widened. 

"What?"

"Pretend to be my friend. I'll even give you my lunch money in exchange for you to talk to me at school every once in a while. I don't want to sit alone at lunch anymore." 

Sehun sighed, 

"You're pitiful Chanyeol. Alright, if you promise. But tell your mom that the play date was awful, that you missed her too much or something and you don't think you're ready to go over to people's houses yet because it makes you nervous. I don't want you coming over anymore."

Chanyeol nodded, closing the yearbook and smiling. 

"Alright. It's a deal." 

As soon as his mom pulled into the driveway he climbed into the back seat, tears in his eyes. His mom asked what was wrong and Chanyeol proceeded to go on with the lines he had constructed in his head as he had sat on the chair in Sehun's room and watched him play Tetris.

"It's was awful! I don't want to go back mom, please, please, don't force me to spend time with people! I'm really sorry. I know you think I don't have friends, but I do! I just... I'm scared at other people's houses. I miss you too much."

That last line did it all for him. He was never told to spend time with people again, because what good mother wouldn't be touched to hear he was that attached?

So naturally, as Chanyeol turned the corner and took his first few steps down the hall of his new high school, books gripped tightly in his arms and eyes flitting from one face to another, he wasn't expecting anything. He didn't hope for someone to talk to him, he didn't hope for someone to smile at him, all he hoped for was to be left alone because in the very least, he didn't want to be stared at. With his height though, that made it very hard, and he noticed the small groups, the people who had already formed their cliques, were already finding their pleasure in teasing him and letting out tiny giggles. He glanced from side to side, making sure no one was about to shoot him with paintballs or throw slushies at him. He slid his eyes down the rows of lockers until he found his, top, number 1202. 

"Stop it!" 

There was a giggle behind him and his breath hitched as he was shoved into the locker before him. The smaller boy quickly jumped back, regaining his balance, and waving goodbye to his friends. He had a letterman's jacket on, purple lining and gold stitching, his eyes were bright, almost to much to be real, and his smile was wide, perfect, his lips a light shade of pink and his hair sweeping over his forehead in a chocolate brown mess. 

"I'm really sorry about that." 

Chanyeol shook the daze from his mind and looked down at the boy, mumbling.

"It's alright."

"That's it?"

"What?" Chanyeol looked at him confused. 

"Aren't you going to get angry, push me back or something. That's what 97% of everyone at this school would do." 

Chanyeol sighed.

"I'm used to getting pushed around."

Baekhyun looked at him in disbelief. 

"But you're so tall. Why would anyone dare to do that?" Baekhyun shifted on his heels, turning to locker 1203 and beginning to enter the combination. "I mean after all," he continued. "You could be on the football team with that build. I bet you're really amazing at it." 

Chanyeol sighed, bored with the rambling of the boy. 

"Is that what you're on? Huh, wouldn't have guessed it if it wasn't for the jacket." 

Baekhyun looked down at the baggy material.

"Oh, this? No, it belongs to my boyfriend, Kim Junmyeon." He laughed. "I'm not really into that type of thing." 

 Chanyeol glanced down the boy's build once again, then turned walking down the hall with his calculus book and leaving the obnoxious boy behind. 

 "Hey!" Chanyeol could hear the smile in his voice as he yelled behind him. "My name's Baekhyun by the way!" 

 Chanyeol continued walking, not bothering to respond. 

 If it were someone else, if it was in fourth grade, or fifth, or even eighth, he would've welcome every single syllable of conversation he could get, but it wasn't someone else, and he couldn't quit explain it but there was something about Baekhyun that made him over-the-top uncomfortable. 

 He made it through calculus, which was honestly the worst class in the entire world to have for first period, next was English, which made his head throb the entire class because how the do bologna and pony rhyme? What kind of messed up language is that? Next was history, then P.E., and after forty-five minutes of him playing basketball very shyly, he was in the locker room, wiping his face off with a towel and stuffing his uniform into his locker. 

 He stepped into the cafeteria, looking around at all of the faces and ignoring the stares as he headed to the counter, standing in line and waiting for his pizza. Multiple kids found it fun to shove him out of the way, claiming his spot in line and laughing as they yelled 'No! You left the line!' He simply went with it, ending up in the very back and waiting a good fifteen minutes. He finally stepped up to the counter and flopped a piece of very dry looking Canadian bacon pizza onto his plate, turning to find an empty lunch table somewhere. 

 Baekhyun sat, stuffing chip after chip into his mouth as he watched the event unfold. He made a mental note as to who had pushed Chanyeol out of line, and looked over in shock as an arm was slung over his shoulder. 

 "Baek, what's up, why are you so out of it?" 

 Baekhyun pouted. 

 "You know I hate being called Baek." 

 "Aw but it's cute." 

 "I don't want to be cute." 

 He lifted Junmyeon's hand off of his shoulder as stood up slowly. 

 "I'll be right back okay?" 

 Junmyeon nodded as he watched Baekhyun walk toward the light haired kid. 

 "Hey."

 Chanyeol stared blankly at Baekhyun as the boy smiled up at him. 

 "You should come sit with me."

 He nodded reluctantly, following Baekhyun to the table and sitting across from him.

 "Uh, Junmyeon, this is..." He paused, tilting his head as a flicker of disappointment crossed over his expression only to be replace with an innocent smile a millisecond after. "You never replied when I told you my name." 

 "Chanyeol." 

 He lifted his pizza, folding it in half and eating nearly three-fourths of it in one bite. 

 "This is Chanyeol." Baekhyun's smile was almost radiant and Chanyeol was completely confused as to why his own name seemed to make the guy even happier. Junmyeon said hi and Chanyeol nodded a greeting.

 After a few seconds of silence Baekhyun tried to spark a conversation. 

 "So uh, when's your birthday?" 

 "November 27."

 "91 or 92?"

 "92."

 Baekhyun beamed. 

 "I'm older than you by a few months."

 Chanyeol looked up at him again from under his bangs. The boy didn't seem older than him. Not even slightly. He was too petite and innocent looking. 

 He found himself wanting to ask the other's birthday but quickly pushed the thought aside, not wanting to appear clingy or annoying as he had been told he was every other time he had gone with conversation, and instead refocused on his food, ignoring the tiny prick of curiosity buzzing in his head.  

 His sight hadn't been off. The pizza was completely dry, and after downing it in three bites he was busy wondering if there was anything even left in the soda machine. 

 "Here."  Baekhyun pushed a can of Dr. Pepper toward him. "I had that pizza once before. It's definitely not the best out there." 

 Once again, Chanyeol nodded, this time in thanks, reaching out for the open can. 

 He jerked forward as he felt someone's body bump into his own, tipping over the can and hearing a boy behind him laugh and mutter the word. 

 "Loser."

 Chanyeol ignored it, looking at Baekhyun terrified as he saw the dark liquid puddling on the table and leaving wet marks on Baekhyun's t-shirt, along with a few drops on his jeans, thankfully leaving the letterman's jacket almost completely unscathed but nonetheless soaking him. 

 "I am so sorry." 

 Chanyeol used his napkin, dabbing it at Baekhyun's chest and fumbling for something else to use. Baekhyun grabbed his wrist insistently, glaring at the boy two tables down who was now laughing with his friends then looking at Chanyeol comfortingly. 

 "It's alright. I swear, I'm fine." He turned to Junmyeon as he stood. "Could you manage to get the table while we go clean up? Classes are about to start so I don't think we'll make it." 

 Junmyeon nodded and Baekhyun began dragging him toward the restroom, swinging the door open. Only then did Chanyeol realize exactly how soaked he was. It was amazing a simple can of Dr. Pepper even had that much liquid in it.

 He tried wringing the shirt out as Baekhyun attended to his own needs going to the back of the bathroom where he began rustling through a bag. He returned with a shirt and looked at Chanyeol who was comically pulling at the wet material.

 "What are you trying to do?" He chuckled. "You're going to have to take the shirt off." Chanyeol hesitated and Baekhyun let out a puff of air, causing his bangs to lift cutely from the breeze. "Here, let me help you." He stepped closer and slid his hand up Chanyeol's torso, bringing the cloth with his gentle fingers. His breath hitched for a moment as the pale skin became exposed and he noticed just how calmly Chanyeol's breathing really was. Chanyeol looked at him annoyed, setting his glasses onto the counter.

 "I've got it."

 Baekhyun pulled away quickly, nodding and looking back into the mirror at himself. He slipped the jacket off of his arms, setting it carefully on the only dry spot near the sink, and reached for the hem of his shirt, lifting it swiftly over his head and off his arms. He looked to the bench, motioning toward his bag. 

 "I've got a few shirts in there. I don't know if any of them would fit you but my friends sometimes stuff theirs inside so maybe someone's you're size?" 

 Chanyeol nodded, wiping his chest with a wet paper towel, wadding it up, and throwing it into the trash can, walking to the bag and leaning over as he dug inside. He checked the tags, even though he wasn't exactly sure what size he was, and pulled out the largest one he could find. He turned around, still crouched down as he wanted to make sure it was alright for him to wear the shirt, and found himself face to face with Baekhyun. The elder's breath was on his forehead and he looked up, both of their eyes wide. The moment of shock was interrupted by the sound of the bell and the elder stood with a start, straightening himself. Chanyeol rose to his feet, only making the situation worse as he realized their chests were both incredibly close and completely uncovered. 

 Baekhyun wanted very badly to pull the boy closer, maybe wrap his arms around the giant's neck and pull him down for a very meaningful kiss. His hand twitched at the thought, and he quickly used his other hand to hold into his own wrist behind his back, hating himself for even thinking of doing such a thing to the new kid especially when he already has a boyfriend. 

 Chanyeol held up the shirt. 

 "Can I wear this?"

Baekhyun nodded, stepping back, and going to grab his own shirt on the other side of the bench. He pulled it over his head quickly, grabbing the jacket and slipping it over his arms then turning to face Chanyeol. 

 The boy had successfully put the shirt on, and despite the tacky taste, he didn't look half bad. It was two sizes too big for him, and the words "Cool Guy" were written in comic sans over the galaxy background. Baekhyun chuckled, reaching for the glasses and handing them to the Chanyeol. 

 "Thanks." 

 He slipped them on, looking back up, and reaching out. Baekhyun instantly ducked away at the sight of Chanyeol's hand but the younger simply ran his fingers through Baekhyun's hair in the most gentle manner possible. 

 "Um?" 

 Chanyeol pulled his fingers out of the silky expanse nervously, staring at the floor. 

 "Uh, sorry, it was messy." 

 Baekhyun laughed. 

 "Thanks."

 He turned toward the door, swinging it open and walking to chemistry, realizing Chanyeol was following him and looking back.

 "Do you have chemistry too?" 

 Chanyeol nodded, and Baekhyun instantly slowed his pace, looping his arm with Chanyeol's. 

 "We'll walk together." 

 Chanyeol stared down at the skinny arm, feeling his heart practically jumping out of his chest.

 I must really hate this guy to be feeling this way.

 He dropped back, forcing Baekhyun's arm to fall limply to his side as the elder looked at him confused. Chanyeol sneered, standing only a few steps behind him. 

 "It's alright. I'll just follow."

Baekhyun looked anxious but began walking again, ignoring the pitiful feeling being embossed into his heart as his hand slipped over the cool surface of the door handle and he opened it.

He stepped in, taking his usual spot beside Junmyeon and nodding as the teacher, aggravated, turned back to her whiteboard and kept rambling on. 

Chanyeol stood aimlessly, looking around the room. The teacher turned, staring at him.

"Oh, you must be the student who transferred from your last high school? Take a seat over there."

She looked in disapproval at his shirt and a sprinkle of pink spotted his cheeks as he sat in the corner desk.

Baekhyun looked down at the table where Junmyeon slid over a tiny piece of paper.

'Whats up with you and that kid?'

He scribbled back a reply.

'I met him this morning. I feel really sorry for him. You know, it took me a while to get comfortable here, not to mention he seems really pitiful and quiet.' Junmyeon nodded as he looked over Baekhyun's hand at his words, and Baekhyun continued writing. 'You don't mind if I try to make him open up a little more do you?' 

'Of course not.'

Baekhyun smiled, and he smiled back, but as soon as he looked over at the kid with the dark rimmed glasses he realized he did mind. A lot. Something didn't feel right. He felt like a threat or something, but he wasn't going to do that to Baekhyun. He was going to trust him, because as Baekhyun had showed him over the past few months, he deserved his respect.
But still, as the class continued, he found himself following Baekhyun's gaze to the auburn haired boy who slowly pushed his glasses back up his nose as he dropped his pencil and it was kicked across the room by the boy next to him.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol stand, he saw the kid who picked up his pencil, he saw what the kid was holding behind his back, and as Chanyeol came closer to the kid, he saw the boy's other arm move, his finger tightening around the nozzle, and he immediately stood, yelling as desperately as he could.

"Chanyeol, stop!"

                                                                                              ✴ Never Before ✴