I feel like my whole life has been played as the main character’s sidekick. I’m sure it wasn’t literally my whole life, but it’s starting to feel like that, especially these past few years.

I have a really close friend, who is like a best friend and sister to me; let’s call her M. During my high school years, I would say that a few guys have liked her, and I mean REALLY liked her. There would also be a few times where two guys would compete for her attention. As a friend, I would be happy for her because she is honestly a great person and she deserves a great guy. BUT, I’m always on the side. Literally.

The first time it happened (or so I thought) was a few years ago. So it was my senior year in high school, and M and I were planning to go to this event called Halloween Haunt with two other guys. And let me tell you, those two other guys were the two who were trying to win her attention at that time. Bad idea, I know. But the guys seem to be okay with it and so was she, so I went along with the plan. First guy, I’ll call him S and the second guy, I’ll call him J. So M and I were at a school event, and S was kind enough to pick us up to go to Halloween Haunt. We meet up with J there and had a great time hanging out. However, by the end of the day, I finally realized that I was playing the sidekick role the whole night because both guys were trying to win her attention the whole time. I was literally on the side, only being talked to when the other guy was busy talking to M. I was just there so that the other guy wouldn’t feel awkward or left out. I could be wrong, but that was literally how I felt like that night. S and J were my friends too, but we weren’t that close. We were mainly only friends through M. And after that night, I began noticing my position and role in life. The sidekick.

Thinking about it now, I honestly feel like I am playing a role in her life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous about the attention she is having at all. I like depending on myself while I know she likes having someone there for her. So, I am genuinely happy that she has these guys who want to care for her. But what I don’t like is being on the side and ONLY being talked to when they need information on M. Once in awhile is fine, but every single time is not fine. I am NOT a M dictionary that can give them everything and every explanation about her yet they seem to always do that.