But there was something else. A feeling of understanding, a comfort that defied reason. It was as though kissing her would have made all the sense in the world.

14^thJanuary 2015

“Alright! Let’s continue after lunch break!” The photographer shouted and Kai’s stylist rushed towards him, gently placing a jacket over him and offered him a cup of coffee immediately.

“I’m good.” Kai refused the coffee and passed the jacket back to her. All these things were supposed to be done by Jieun but he had to leave her behind once again. He didn’t want to accept this photoshoot right from the start, he had even begged his manager to suggest someone else instead because while Jieun and him are apart, he cannot breathe; not even when Japan was just an hour flight from Korea. But the editor insisted that it had to be him and it left him no choice.

Fumbling through his bag for his phone, Kai unlocked it urgently. With tons of messages sitting in his inbox, his finger tapped on her name right away. A smile spread across his tired face, he swiftly keyed in a reply right away.

[To: Jieun]

Japan is colder than Korea. I need a cup of coffee. Send me some?

A short while later, Jieun came online and sent him an emoji that was a cup of coffee with hot steam coming out from it. The sight of it made Kai warmed up right away. While waiting for her to type the reply, Kai scrolled through the other messages that were wishing him happy birthday. He didn’t replied to any of them but instead just waited for Jieun to type finish her message patiently.

[From: Jieun]

Coffee for our Kim Jongin. Keep yourself warm okay?

Despite his smile, Kai couldn’t help but to feel a little disappointed that Jieun didn’t wish him. He had been waiting all day for her message but he kind of guessed that the girl probably wouldn’t know that it was his birthday today.

“Kai, I bought chicken for you.” His manager entered the small caravan that was set as his temporary rest area out in the forest. The chicken in his hand was the best he could do for the birthday boy who was still working hard on his birthday.

Looking up from his phone, he saw the chicken that his manager bought for him. But right now, even the smell of his fried chicken wasn’t a tinge appealing. All he wanted was to go back home where Jieun would be so he can spend the rest of the day with her.

“Hyung, can I skip lunch and finish the photoshoot?” Kai asked. He had no appetite at all. “I want to go back home earlier for my birthday.”

“I will arrange it for you.” The manager replied kindly. He knew it was his birthday and he decided to close one eye for the day and let the boy do whatever he wanted. It was rare for him to ask to be released early, let alone mention about his birthday. Ever since he became Exo’s manager since they debuted, he knew he doesn’t celebrate his birthday so when he said that, he felt obliged to agree to his request.

Upon getting the permission, Kai typed in a reply quickly.

[To: Jieun]

I will claim my coffee from you when I’m back. See you later silly girl.

-

Sehun hummed to the song that was playing in his car, happiness could be seen radiating through his crescent eyes as he drove down the streets of Seoul.

“Balloons, flowers, cake…” Jieun who was sitting on his left mumbled softly, looking back at the passengers seats that was filled with bags of party items. “Sehun, did we miss out anything?”

“I think we got everything.” He replied, stealing a look at the girl beside him, “Don’t worry, if we miss out anything I will drive you out to buy again.”

“Thank you Sehun. You helped me a lot today.”

“Kai is my friend too. It’s nothing.” Sehun stopped at the traffic light and turned to look at Jieun. He couldn’t help it, sometimes he just look at her and realize that she is one of the best thing that ever happened in his life. Even though she was preparing a surprise birthday party for someone else that wasn’t him, he took it as Kai was her cousin. As much as he didn’t like it, there wasn’t anything he could do. He tried to look at the brighter side of things, at least he could spend some quality time with her.

With that he went back to humming to the song that was playing softly at the back of the car.

“Sing it Sehun.” Jieun told him seriously. “You have a great voice, you shouldn’t waste it by just humming to it.”

“Can I hear you sing?”

“You.. want to hear me sing?” Sehun couldn’t hide his surprise. His singing voice couldn’t be compared to Kyungsoo, Baekhyun or Chen and his rapping voice wasn’t as solid as Chanyeol or Tao. And because of his short-tongue, his company refused to let him speak. But now, Jieun praised that he had a great voice and she even wanted him to sing. He couldn’t believe his ears.

Nodding her head earnestly, Jieun raised her hand. “I’m a Sehun fan.”

Jieun’s words touched his heart and he realized h can hear her talk about everything for hours, he really didn’t mind. The indispensable need for true love was not known to Sehun, till the moment Jieun appeared in his life. Because Jieun always looked at him and appreciated what he had. Like now.

“Oh Sehun’s fan service is the best you know that right?” With that he started singing in the car, with his number 1 fan, Kim Jieun listening and clapping along. The journey from the mall to Kai’s house seemed shorter than usual, because when Sehun pulled up at his house, the place was already bustling with activities.

Saein held the role of main chef for this special day, in charge of whipping delicious dishes with her husband's help. She even close Kamong for the day even though she knew there would be many fans. It had been quite some time since she stepped into the kitchen but Jongin’s birthday this year was different to her so when Jieun approached her to tell her about her plans about the surprise birthday party she wanted to throw for him, she agreed to it almost right away.

As for the rest of Exo members, they were busy carrying tables and chairs from the house to the garage, preparing drinks and cleaning the venue. Jieun hopped down Sehun’s car and carried the bags to the garage quickly, with the boy following her closely. They quickly joined in the chaos, hanging the decorations up together.

“Look at Sehun.” Baekhyun nudged Suho to look at the couple that was just behind him, laughing and playing as they put up the decorations, like some teenagers in love. They noticed how their maknae was following the girl around like a puppy and they chuckled.

“Give the lovebirds some space.” Suho pushed Baekhyun out of the garage, “2 lightbulbs are too bright.”

“Then you should be the one going out!” Baekhyun argued but right then, everyone turned to Jieun as she picked up the phone.

“Jongin?” Jieun stepped away from Sehun slightly and picked up the phone.

“I just touched down.” Kai’s voice was thick and raspy and Jieun knew he just woke up. “Where are you?”

“I’m home.”

“So early?”

“Y.. yeah. I finished work early so Sunye Unnie let go home earlier to rest.” She lied.

“Good.” She could hear his smile from the other end and she smiled too. “I’m on my way home. Let me change then we go out for dinner together?”

“I didn’t eat the entire day and I’m craving for Jjampong.”

“Okay, I will wait for you then.” Jieun hung the phone before telling everyone that he was on his way.

Everyone started to speed up with what they are supposed to do and within the next half an hour, all the food, drinks and decorations were all in place. And like planned, Aunt Kim would be picking him up from the door, pretending to bump into her son while she was collecting the letters. She would then bring him to the garage because she needed to carry something from the car. Given Jongin’s character, Jieun knew Jongin would definitely follow her here.

Just like what she expected, they could hear the mother and son’s footsteps approaching while Jieun and the rest stood behind the garage door.

“Happy Birthday!!!!” Party poppers popped and the lights were switched on, catching Jongin by surprise. As everyone sang him a birthday song, Jieun brought the cake that she had specially ordered for him.

Kai didn’t know how to react so he could only stare at Jieun who was walking towards him slowly. When he hung up the phone earlier, he had been questioning himself on his way back here when did he start falling her. He could not tell if he loved her the first moment he saw her, or if it was the second or third or forth. But he will definitely remember the moment now. Looking at her walking towards him and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish.

But it also didn’t take long for him to get pulled out of his thoughts. Exo members crowded around him, bugging him for photos and to cut the cake. Just like that, he declared the start of his birthday party and he never felt so happy and touched since the longest time ever as he indulged his sister’s food.

“Noona, thank you.” Kai thanked his sister with all his heart, “I miss the food you cooked.”

“Well, Jieun gave me the chance to cook. Credits to her.” Saein ruffled her brother’s hair dotingly, she had never seen him so genuinely happy for so long and she herself was really happy because of that too. “She planned all of this.”

“She… did?” Kai turned around to look for the mentioned figure, he didn’t get the chance to talk to her since the start of the party but from where he was, he saw her standing beside Sehun, eating joyfully. He watched how Sehun lifted his hand to wipe the corner of her lips before pinching her nose lovingly, and he closed his eyes and turned away instinctively.

However, his reaction didn’t escape Saein’s sharp eyes. He glanced at the couple behind him and sighed inwardly. Her silly brother thought he could close his eyes to the things he didn’t want to see, what he didn’t know was he can never close his heart to the things he didn’t want to feel; an understanding grin formed on her face.

For the rest of the party, Kai didn’t go near to Jieun who had Sehun beside her most of the time. Till they emptied all the food and drinks then everyone started to pack up, bringing the dirty plates, tables and chairs back to the house.

“So.. you remember my birthday afterall.” Kai approached Jieun who was tearing down his birthday decorations alone in the garage. He joined her and stole a look at her when she smiled.

“Of course I do.” Jieun said proudly, happy that she finally got the chance to talk to him. “January 14^th, 1994.”

“And you didn’t wish me?”

“I did! I sang you a birthday song earlier!”

“But you still pretended you forgot.” Kai remembered the disappointment that was gnawing on him earlier.

“That was the whole point.” Jieun giggled, happy that her surprise party was a big success. It was her first time planning such things and she was so worried that it wouldn’t work out that she couldn’t sleep peacefully last night.

“Huh huh.” Turning to look at her, Kai bit his lower lips and pinched the girl’s nose instinctively. “Now you can lie to me already huh Kim Jieun.”

“Hahaha. I have to do that to make it a success.” Jieun scrunched her nose and Kai let go of her but neither of them stepped away from their close proximity. “You were surprised right?”

Nodding his head, Kai’s smile was so wide and genuine that it was beyond obvious that he was more than just happy. Ruffling her hair, Kai muttered softly. “Thank you for everything.”

“I didn’t do much. Sehun also helped a lot. He fetched me since morning to run all the errands.”

The girl then rattled on, filling him the smallest details that Sehun and her did without noticing that Kai had fell silent suddenly. From the way he cleaned her lips to how they were spending time together, Kai just felt uneasy when the scenes played in his head. He could tell Sehun was falling harder for Jieun.

“Do.. you like Sehun?” He blurted out.

“Sehun?” Jieun cocked her head and looked at him innocently, “Yeah I do.”

Kai’s heart fell instinctively as he took in a deep breadth. Initially, he thought it didn’t matter how much Sehun likes Jieun as long as the girl has no feelings for her. But, looks like he was wrong. His eyes lowered to hide his disappointment right away.

“He’s a very nice friend. Really.”

A smile then spread across Kai’s face instantly. He mentally scolded himself for forgetting about how innocent Jieun was and she probably wouldn’t like Sehun back in that manner. He had underestimated her.

“Why do you ask?” Jieun asked him.

“Because you keep talking about him. I thought.. you know.” Kai looked at her, observing her facial expresion as she widened her eyes and shook her head furiously.

“No no no. I don’t like Sehun in that way!” Jieun panicked, she felt the need to explain herself to Jongin. She didn’t want him to misunderstand this way. “I.. I really see him as a friend. As in I.. I like him as a friend.”

“Alright alright.” Kai reached out to hold her hands that were flying everywhere because she was getting agitated as she stumbled on her words. “I believe you.”

“Really?” Blinking her eyes at Jongin, Jieun’s heart felt at ease instinctively.

Nodding his head, Kai smiled weakly at her but his hand remained around her wrist. “I thought you liked him because you kept talking about him.”

“Then I shall not talk about him anymore.” Jieun pressed her lips together tightly and Kai let out a soft chuckle, but he couldn’t help but to sigh again. Even if Jieun didn’t like him in that manner, Sehun clearly do.

“What’s.. wrong?”

“Jieun..” Kai looked at her before sighing again, everytime he leaves her here, Sehun gets the chance to get close to her. And he really didn’t like it. He felt the need to let Jieun know. “You are too innocent.”

“I know you don’t like Sehun that way but he clearly doesn’t see you as a friend.”

“You know what he meant by asking you to go out with him?” Jieun shook her head, and Kai continued. “Date, Jieun.”

“He is asking you to go out in the form of dating, not as a friend.”

“W..what…” Jieun’s eyes widened, “But I..”

“I… never… I don’t like him. I… thought he was my friend. Oh no.. I will go and tell him now I will not go out with him anymore.” With that she attempted to walk away but Kai pulled her back, closing their distance between them as they stared into each other’s eyes.

When he looks into her eyes, Kai didn’t want to look away. “I didn’t know he meant it like that Jongin.”

He couldn’t help but to smile at every word that just came out of and when she smiled back at him when he gave no reply, he melted. He wondered what he would do without her, not understanding how he got by before. Being alone without her was enough to make him feel so dull and stuffy.

With her black eyes blinking back at him, Kai’s jealousy and anger disappeared instinctively. Instead, it was replaced with love and gentleness. “I know Jieun. I said I know.”

His hand slowly crawled from her wrist to her hands, drawing circles with his thumb to calm her down. And then he gave Jieun a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through Jieun, making her blush.

“Just.. don’t hang out with him so often anymore uh?”

Nodding her head shyly, Jieun know she shouldn’t be doing this but entire day that he was away, she had been yearning to see his face, to talk to him, to hear his voice, to feel his fingers on her hands. Now the wait was finally over, she couldn’t stop herself.

Kai felt Jieun reaching out, curling her fingers around his, so tight and for the first time he knew, he had a heart inside his body because when their hands touch, it sent shivers up his spine.

“So.. where’s my Happy Birthday?” Kai broke the silence and asked her quietly.

“Happy.. Birthday Jongin.” Jieun wished him, her voice was so soft but Kai heard them all. “Please stay happy and healthy.”

“Silly girl.” Kai pulled her into a hug instinctively and when Jieun wrapped her hands around his waist, he felt the whole world disappeared. “I miss you.”

For Jieun, the words I miss you was the best thing someone can ever say to her because when someone tells that to her, she knows that the person is telling her that they miss her eyes, the way she looks when she laughs. But for Jongin’s I miss you, she could feel him missing her as the person he could tell about anything and not be judged for it. He accepts her for who she was and it was beautiful.

“I miss you too.” Jieun muttered back. Today, even when she hung out out with Sehun and the rest of the boys, she had missed the way he could make her laugh when no one else can, and how he makes her better, stronger and happier compared to the last 2 years. He makes her everything that she had always wanted to be. So when she said those three words, it was so much bigger than the absence of him by her side.

It is the fact that he already completed her so fully that she could no longer breathe without him.

That moment, Kai leaned in and let his lips brushed hers, and then he realized how it all fit so perfectly. Her hands in his, her lips moving against his. He didn’t have to glance around to see who was around before he kissed her. He knew he would regret not kissing her a lot more than he would regret kissing her.

Because to him it didn’t matter who was looking, for the first time in his life he didn’t care and that was how he knew, Jieun was different.

“Jieun-ah.. do you need…”

And all that could be heard in the night was the sound of things that was crashing onto the floor.

I'm hoping this fic can reach 2k subs. Aiming for that to happen. Though I know this fic is a little to angst to everyone's liking.

Nonetheless, enjoy!