Entry #016
MnemophobiaSomewhere in between our laughs, long talks and jokes, I fell in love.
10th December 2014
Heavy beats can be heard from the loud stereo, the Seoul Stadium was empty but Kai led his dance crew and rehearsed with all his might. Every dance moves were executed neatly without missing a beat. The company had given him a chance to go solo and he was going to debut through SM Town today. He didn’t want to screw things up anymore.
As the song came to an end, he took in a deep breadth and his hand instinctively went to support his waist that was slightly aching. When he turned around, he saw Jieun standing behind the screen, her eyes fixated on him. Those brown eyes of hers no longer become a burden. Through her eyes, he saw another set of emotions; excitement and contentment all because of him. She enthusiastically clapped for him and flashed him a thumbs up sign with her two hands. Her bright smile unknowingly injected satisfaction in himself, making him feel the need to perform even better as he asked for another rehearsal.
Jieun watched how Kai held his lower back like nothing happened. Outsiders may think that it was normal but she knew it wasn’t. Right then she remembered the muscle relaxant that she always put outside his door and she ran towards his van right away. All she had in mind was how Kai told her that the muscle relaxant actually helped him eased the pain a little and it was enough to put a smile on her face as she ran.
“BOO!”
“Ahh!” Jieun jumped when someone pounced on her back as she rummaged through her bag for the item. “Sehun!”
“You scared the hell out of me!”
“Hahaha.” Sehun chuckled at how she placed her hand over her heart as she stared at him angrily. But her face was too adorable to look scary with that expression. “What’s there to be scared about? Its just me.”
“How would I know that its you behind me.”
“Well, just remember that I will always be behind you no matter what happens.” Sehun said confidently with his eyes looking straight into hers. Ever since Jieun said yes to going out with him the other night, such promising words seemed to roll out of his tongue automatically. He wanted to tell her so many more things and also bring her out but he couldn’t. His identity as Exo’s Sehun forbid him to but he was trying. The only thing he could do now was to send her home everyday after work but he was working something out. He had been frightfully busy but he had thought of her every minute.
“Behind me? Then help me hold onto the door.” Jieun replied innocently without thinking too much.
“Have you eaten?” Sehun asked as he held onto the door in the middle of the carpark, openly admiring the girl’s backview with his soft gaze.
“Nope.” Shaking her head, Jieun went back rummaging through her bag.
“Wait for me here then!”
“What… Sehun!” Jieun shouted after him but he had already ran back into the waiting area. Fiddling with the box in her hand, she sat on the steps of the van and waited for Sehun as per instructed.
Passing her a lunchbox, Sehun panted hardly. “There.”
“I haven’t eat too. Let’s eat together.”
Jieun looked at the lunchbox in front of her and the male that was panting hard. His nose was all red from running in the cold winter and his fingers were colourless. She instinctively lowered the box into her lap and took the lunchbox from him. She had no heart to reject him especially when he ran in the cold winter just for her.
“Keep yourself warm Sehun.” Jieun threw a scarf over his neck and tied it for him, making sure it covered his reddened nose. “You will catch a cold like this.”
The girl before Sehun was never his type, not in the way she dressed or did her hair, not in the way she talked or laughed but as he got to know her, it turned out that her heart was. And he gradually fell in love with everything else after. He could just look at her and thought of how much he can love her. They could just be sitting here eating lunch in silence or simply just talk in his car, but there was something about it in that moment that made him think of how much he really loves her.
“Have you thought of what you want to do in the future?” Sehun asked suddenly. She was part of his future and he wanted to know if he was in hers. “Like other than being Kai’s assistant what else do you want to do?”
Jieun thought about it for a while as a warm feeling spread in her and it felt strangely familiar. It felt lovely and she really liked it. “I always hoped to find someone I would be deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with.”
However, when she saw Sehun’s blank face, she mumbled softly, “Silly, isn’t it?”
“Not at all.” Sehun replied with a genuine smile, somehow happy that she wanted to fall in love too. At the same time, he was reminding himself that he was lucky enough to have had time with her. He was lucky enough to be not forgotten by her. “Jieun?”
“Hmmm?”
“Can you promise me something?”
“What is it?”
“Promise you’ll never forget me,” Sehun felt himself almost pleading when he said that. The thought of her erasing him completely scares him already. “Ever.”
With a firm nod, Jieun smiled sweetly back at him.
“Not even when I’m a hundred.”
Looking into Jieun’s eyes, Sehun was mesmerized by the beauty in it. The promise that she made warmed his heart in this cold winter and as they locked their eyes with one another, he was this close to inch a little closer to hold her tight in his embrace.
“Jieun!! Jieun-ah!!”
“Oh?” Jieun broke the eye contact as the moment got interrupted by a staff screaming her name.
“Jieun!!”
“Yoonhee Unnie?”
“Where.. where is… Kai’s…. Kai’s… Painkillers.” The girl panted as she held onto Jieun for blance.
“Painkillers?”
“He.. collapsed on stage. We are.. waiting for ambulance but.. Sunye.. Unnie.. wants to give him.. his painkillers to stop his pain..”
Upon hearing the shocking news, Jieun sprang up from the steps of the van and ran towards the backstage, mumbling Jongin along the way. Sehun could only watch her getting further and further away and he didn’t like the feeling.
-
When Jieun reached the backstage, there were already many staffs crowding to catch a glimpse of what was happening on the main stage. She pushed passed them and ran up the stage to see how Kai was lying flat on the ground, his face contorting in pain.
“Where is the ambulance?!”
“Hyunsuk! Stop the fans from taking video!”
“Call the ambulance again!! Damn it!”
The staffs’ screams filled Jieun’s ears but all she saw was how Kai had kept his eyes shut. His lips were white and seeing him in such pain made her vision blurred. Kneeling beside him, Jieun used her shaky hands and wiped his sweat away. She had no idea how could she lessen his pain and she hoped this would at least help a little.
“Kim Jieun! Where the hell were you?!”
“You are supposed to be by his side 24/7! We hired you for a reason!!”
“Sunye Noona! That’s not the main point now!”
“Yeah, get Kai to the hospital first!”
“Jongin.. you will be okay.” Jieun choked out as she tried to not let her tears fall. Her hands held onto his firmly. “Just squeezed my hands if it hurts… Just squeezed it and it will hurt lesser okay?”
Kai opened his eyes slightly to see tears flowing out of Jieun’s eyes. Her hands were trembling more than his but she kept mumbling the same sentence over and over again. While the staff shouted at one another at the sudden incident, none of them paid attention to the couple that were both crying; Kai crying in pain, Jieun crying because of fear.
“I’m…. okay.” Jongin mumbled under his breadth as he winced in pain. The sharp pain in his lower back made his vision blurred but he could still see her tears flowing continuously. “Don’t… cry.”
Nodding her head, Jieun obeyed obediently, attempting to stop crying but her hiccups wouldn’t stop. “I won’t cry.. I won’t cry.”
“You’re.. so.. silly.” Forcing out a smile, Kai lifted his other hand to wipe off the tears that were still hanging on her cheeks. How silly was the girl before him to say she wouldn’t cry when her tears kept flowing.
“Oh my god.”
“See that??”
“Is that Kai’s girlfriend?”
“I didn’t know Kai is dating his personal assistant!”
Seulgi gulped hard and blinked away her tears. When Wendy came running into their resting area saying that Kai had collapsed on stage, she rushed out immediately. However, just like the other external staffs, she had no rights to go onto that stage to comfort him. She couldn’t even go anywhere near him even when she was dying to. All she could do was to watch him from where she was right now, watching him clean away the tears of another girl while she bit hers down.
“They are not together and they will never be.” Sehun declared as loudly as possible. Everyone at the backstage turned and looked at the guy, including Seulgi.
With a firm and authoritative voice, he announced.
“They are cousins, not lovers.”
Oh my god, Flawless Imperfections got featured all thanks to you guys!! I woke up this morning without knowing this huge surprise installed for me!
Thank you so so much guys!! I can't express my thank to all of you. If can, I would even like to thank you individually for reading my fic.
It is definitely not easy to have 2 fanfics to be featured, I'm really really thankful for that. I promise I would continue to write better fics for you guys.
I had planned a new Luhan fanfic, and at the same time, I do HAVE plans to start on locker 303. I'm preparing the foreword and all but I would keep it lock under draft till I feel I can update them soon. I'm really afraid of starting a new fic without completing the others so I'm in a serious dilemma.
Nonetheless, thank you so much. You guys had given me the best Christmas present this year.
Enjoy this chapter!
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