20

Reckless and So Hungered

CHAPTER TWENTY

Mr. Wu came out of a Dr. Jung’s office from the Neurosurgery Department located on the 9^th floor of the hospital, sporting a wide smile as he walked calmly in between halls and towards the elevators.

“They say that when you’re smiling to yourself, you’re probably remembering something awful you did.” Kyungsoo surprised his friend with a neutral tone that made him jolt in position. Never had words uttered been as true as the ones he had just spelled out.

Mr. Wu stumbled back and let his friend Kyungsoo step out of the elevator flaunting a smile that mirrored his own; contrived, but to put it more simply, fake. “What are you doing here?” Mr. Wu asked.

“Just checking to see if anybody is in need of my usual upbeat self,” Kyungsoo grabbed his friend by the arm and dragged him back into the halls, forcing him to walk along with him.

“Your level of sarcasm rises each day Kyung, you should have been a comedian and not a lawyer. You’re hilarious.”

“You want to know what’s really funny?!” Kyungsoo laughed and paused before he continued even more sarcastically. “You’re interest in Hyoyeon’s well-being. Now that’s funny.”

“What are you insinuating?” Mr. Wu asked, getting slightly irritated, but with an exceptional ability to appear invariably calm.

“You know just because I’m not crawling around the hospital like you are, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on. You may have fooled your sons, but not me. I have eyes and ears in this hospital. I know how to use my checkbook too.” Kyungsoo shoved a finger, carving it along Mr. Wu’s chest.

Mr. Wu shoved his finger aside. “Not here,” he said dragging Kyungsoo further into a secluded corridor. “Alright, you’re going to tell me everything you know.” Mr. Wu demanded loudly once he knew he was away from prying eyes.

Kyungsoo only raised a mocking eyebrow. In the end this was the extent of their friendship. “Well I know you paid Dr. Jung to keep quiet about Hyoyeon’s newest brain report.”

Mr. Wu had been known for doing terrible things in the past, this one was probably one of the least despicable things he’d done. He didn’t flinch a bit at his friend’s revelation.

“There’s been significant amount of oscillations in the EEG scans which means Hyoyeon is no longer brain dead. How you found out first and why you’re keeping this a secret is beyond me. Unless…” Kyungsoo stopped himself, readying his next set of keen observations.

“Stop… I want you to stop talking.” Mr. Wu yelled over his friend and was ready to walk away but Kyungsoo pulled him back by the arm. He wasn’t going to let him have the last word.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the hospital an elevator ride seemed to linger for minutes on end in each floor before it stopped on the 6^th. While waiting, Kris deliberated on whether he looked better with his shirt tucked in or out. ‘Tucked,’ he decided with his arms folded over his chest and a finger tapping impatiently over his shoulder. When the doors were just about half opened, annoyed and desperate he slipped through and ran up the remaining stairs.

He walked hurriedly through the halls before he paused in front of room 922, heart beating fast and palms sweaty. He had waited patiently all day, working hard to pass the long hours and after much anticipation he was finally here to get his reward.

He fixed the collar of his shirt, took out his sun glasses and from the reflection of the lenses was able to see where he needed fixing, placing a few fingers on his head, tousling his hair to give it firm volume.

“Today’s the day.” He smiled, rubbing his hands together excitedly. He walked inside undoing a couple of the buttons on his shirt. Deciding that maybe he did look better with his shirt untucked, he let the hem fly loose over his black jeans.

He also wore an antiviral facemask to cover that he was sick again with the cold. And he had a massive headache, the result of another tedious day; revising endless amount of files, eyes glued to a computer screen and having to deal with people that he absolutely detested.

Just like a couple of years back, everything and everyone was plain and boring. He didn’t have interest in anything. Winding back the clocks to a time where he was not yet married to an unbelievably stunning blonde-haired human being, nothing seemed to be worth of ambition.

But when he fell in love with Hyoyeon all of a sudden even the simplest of things had meaning. He was happy to wake up, he was happy to go to sleep, he was content anywhere as long as he was with her.

Damn, he thought. It was unreal how much he needed Hyoyeon in his life for it to have any purpose.

And damn the headache.

His cluttered mind was unequally divided between two things; Hyoyeon, who easily took the larger percentage of his thoughts and the more troublesome of the two, Wu Textiles in China. He had difficult work awaiting him there: workers were just about ready to strike, textile import and exports were being delayed and to top it off most machines seemed to be malfunctioning. He had evaded his duties for far too long and now his departure was imminent. His flight left in a couple of hours. That was perhaps the very source of his headache.

He was terribly sad, but the sulking feeling disappeared the moment he set foot into her room. Underneath the facemask, he couldn’t help smiling. Hyoyeon was like a beacon amidst a terrifying darkness. She lit up his face instantaneously, although, he had only come to say goodbye.

* * *

Her body was calm. She had regained some of the inherent glow in her features, making his nerves respond to her involuntarily like an overly excited network of neurons discombobulating his every hormone. He felt foolish to admit the way he felt, but she made him feel those weird butterflies in the pit of his stomach.

He took a seat beside her and held her hand without speaking. It was hard to produce words when the knot in his throat was too tight. Even if it was of mere happiness just to see her, he didn’t want to cry in front of her anymore.

The most difficult times were past him now. He had lost a bit of weight and immense amount of sleep, but he would never lose hope. And there was small comfort that he and his father were now on good terms with each other. How?

* * *

One year and six months ago Hyoyeon’s heart had stopped for 2 minutes flat before she was rapidly connected to a ventilator. She was immediately claimed brain dead.

Almost two weeks later, a political mess ensued after the second brain scan still reported that there was no significant change and apparently no brain activity. Everything was cleared after Mr. Wu, with ulterior motives of course, intervened.

He introduced a young woman of 29, with a thin stature, poised light like an elegant figurine. She had plump cheeks striking over a face that yelled brilliance and nobility. Her name was Dr. Jessica Jung. She was the head of the Neurosurgery department at a nearby facility and the pioneer of Jung Foundations.

She walked in one day with a third brain test; EEG scans that depicted slight brain activity somewhere in Hyoyeon’s cerebral cortex. Dr. Jung was eventually granted permission to continue a proposed research with Hyoyeon as her patient.  

* * *

“We have to keep fighting. You understand me? I know up there…they can’t wait to have someone like you. But they can’t have you. No one is going to take you away from me.” He let out like a threatening feat, brushing away a lone tear down his cheek.

“Kris.” Dr. Jung called out, interrupting and startling him up.

“Dr. Jung.” Kris extended a hand and greeted her politely, however she clasped on to his hand for longer than needed making the atmosphere intensely awkward. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away, shoving it immediately inside his pocket.

“I’ve already told you many times, to please call me Jessica.” She stretched her lips wide in a failed attempt to smile, but Kris noticed a hidden irritation that she made all too clear.

“Right…Jes…sica,” he said sounding forced and making her greatly displeased.

Kris wasn’t completely oblivious; he knew she may have had a slight crush on him but didn’t think about it, nor cared. But it bothered Jessica that it had been over a year and they were still at a formal stage, not quite friends.

“Have there been any changes?” He asked.

“None and don’t worry if there are any spikes or any improvements, you’ll be the first to know. Leave without out worry, I’ll be watching her like a hawk. Now go or you’re going to be late for your flight.”

“However short it is that I’ll be gone for, I don’t want to leave her.” He turned around and looked over at Hyoyeon as if he was speaking to her now.

“She’ll be fine. She’s in good hands. Don’t you trust me?” She looked eager awaiting his answer, but she was received with silence.

Kris was sitting down again, besides Hyoyeon and staring at her with unblinking eyes, ignoring Dr. Jung.

Dr. Jung dropped her pen to get his attention, but he must not have heard it because he remained frozen in his seat. She walked behind him slowly and placed a hand over his shoulder.

He jumped in alarm. “Did you say something?”

“Hyoyeon will be fine. Don’t you trust me?” She said under clenched teeth. Jessica Jung was a very beautiful woman, so much she was used to having many men ready at her feet. But, Kris could never give her the attention that she wanted and having to repeat herself was excruciatingly humiliating.

Kris however did notice the angry light in her eyes and quickly tried to remedy the situation.

“Oh, yes.” He smiled at her, making her forget why she had become annoyed in the first place. “We’re friends right?” Kris asked her.

Finally—she thought. It wasn’t much of a compliment or anything but it was enough to send her into a state of pure bliss.

She had fallen in love with Kris and loving him from afar would be difficult, but it was tolerable. Having to watch how much he suffered for Hyoyeon and how much love he had for this one woman; that was unbearable. And Jessica knew it was selfish of her, but she preferred him far off, even if it meant that she didn’t get to see him either.

“Yes, we’re friends,” She replied quickly while her cheeks blushed and her heart pounded.

“Then I trust you and I know you’ll take care of Hyoyeon while I’m gone.” Kris took her hand in his like a seemingly flirtatious gesture and he smiled.

“Yes,” she stuttered almost left breathless.

It worked—he thought to himself. He had to leave on good ground with her. He depended on Hyoyeon and Hyoyeon depended on Jessica. She was the only doctor risking and researching through new therapy methods while other doctors were hesitant or frightened to try. ‘Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,’ was his logic. The same ruled applied in his situation. He didn’t want to go angering Jessica and having her pull the plug on Hyoyeon. That would kill him.

“Well then.” Kris released Jessica’s hand.

Dr. Jung overwhelmed and burning bright red; smiled and fled from the room, embarrassed.

Kris walked over to Hyoyeon; he grabbed her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers, kissing her on the lips through his mask. He felt her finger twitch from under his grasp.

3 months ago, he had seen it with his own eyes. Ecstatic and immensely overjoyed he ran to Dr. Jung to explain what had happened. But only to have his soul torn right out of him once again when she told him that it was expected; that it was just a side effect from the new trial she was under. All lies of course.

He kissed her again and her forehead gently, removing some hairs away from her face and leaned his lips against her ear. Then he walked to the door. “I love you,” he kept to himself, giving her one last look before leaving the room.

He knew he’d be gone for exactly a week before coming back to check up on her. Leaving felt like he was giving her an ultimatum, especially with the little lie he had whispered in her ear before leaving the room. “Bye Hyoyeon, I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Maybe in the end he had easily agreed to leaving because it was the only thing he hadn’t tried, his last-resort to force her awake.

He wasn’t going very far, but anytime away from her was already an unbearable eternity. He was left wondering how long he could endure. There was small consolation, however, like the smallest hope that she would wake up at feeling him gone. And how right he was; but he couldn’t have known that it would only take seconds for Hyoyeon to acknowledge his absence.

 All he had needed was to stay a couple more minutes.

* * *

Distracted, Kris bumped shoulders with an equally muscular body and ignored the other’s discomfort at the touch.

It was Kai he had collided into. Neither of them stopped enough to look at each other. Kai moved further into the elevators and Kris kept on walking in the opposite direction, becoming increasingly smaller as he made his way out the hospital building.

“Good riddance,” Kai spat, knowing Kris was leaving the country. It was a relieving pleasure he would definitely not try to hide.

Kris had left her room empty in almost obstinate silence, had the heart monitor not been making any noise.

It was not mid-day, yet the sun was already peaking bright and hot through the curtains of the window, kissing her rosy cheeks while her forehead beamed with drops of sweat.

Hyoyeon, for the first time in over a year, opened her eyes and felt an unnecessary amount of oxygen filling her lungs. Unable to think she pulled out the tube that was plunged inside and watched it elongate within her shaky hands. The nausea had settled in the moment she woke up, but looking at the mess of phlegm and other undiscernible liquids, made her regurgitate all over her bed sheets.

Disgusted, she pulled cables and the sheets off her body and tried to stand, but gave one step forward before she painfully crashed on the floor. Her legs and every muscle in her body felt numb. 

She couldn’t find the voice to yell for help; a groan was emitted, but it had been painful. She rubbed furiously and dragged herself to a chair in the opposite corner. She pulled all her weight with what little strength she had and sat silently on the chair, rubbing her legs. Slowly she regained feeling in her body and was able to stand. She walked to the hanging clipboard on the wall and read the patients name.

“Hyoyeon,” she whispered, letting it slip and die within the air, noticing that the name sounded distant and unrecognizable. Nothing looked familiar, but she was cognizant that Hyoyeon had to be her name. She sighed frustrated and stumbled over to the table where she filled a cup with water, emptying it down in the most uncivilized fashion. She finished the whole jar of water, but still she remained insatiably thirsty. 

She was surprised like a child caught with her hands shoved deep in a cookie jar, when a deep voice called out her name from behind her.

“Hyoyeon!”

She turned around and saw a tall man with a stupefied look on his face. She extended an arm outward, with the empty jar still in hand. “Are you here to fill this damn thing with water? I’m fuc*ing thirsty.”

Kai’s jaw dropped open as he fiddled with the flowers in his hand, too shocked to have noticed her profanity. He quickly set the flowers aside and ran to her, hugging her tightly, tearing up on her hair.

She shoved him back. “Excuse me, but who are you?” Hyoyeon was having a difficult time standing upright as her knees buckled beneath her.

Kai rapidly brushed away his tears and steadied her with his hands on each forearm. “You don’t know who I am?” He asked, her cheeks and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No, I don’t know who you are.” She said crudely, pushing him away.

Kai looked at her bemused. Her words were harsh, but the soft brown glint in her eyes was still there. Much as he tried to discover, she had changed very little.

She was looking back at him without saying anything; lost and confused because she could not remember. This detail didn’t go forgotten. And Kris was gone, not indefinitely, but long enough for Kai to do something reckless. This was a golden opportunity that he wasn’t going to let go to waste.

Kai closed the gap in between them and slipped his hands around her waist, keeping her fastened against his chest. He smiled, once again getting lost in the luminous brown of her eyes. Not even the loud growl of her stomach waved his fixation on her eyes.

“I’m just a little hungry or maybe a lot. I'm not really sure,” she smiled back politely and looked up at his towering figure, tilting her head back to better examine his features. She had to admit that he was unbelievably handsome and that his face held a warmth that was oddly familiar. She gave one small step back, but recoiled back into his chest because at this point he was refusing to let go. He had reeled her back in gently, with only a small degree of exertion.

“Are you going to tell me who you are?” She giggled and pressed her forehead to his chest, feeling the refreshing texture of his black leather jacket against her burning skin.

But he was desperate to look at her and cupping her cheeks he raised her head. Kai grinned and spoke to her in his deepest voice, making her blush. “You’re beautiful,” he said, gloating inwardly. Maybe for the first time ever his form of seduction was finally working on her.

Kai had used all forms of flattery on her before, but had always managed to keep it at a strict level of formality, never pushing past a boundary that could make her feel threatened or even slightly uncomfortable.

Ever since that one incident where he had made Kris believe that Hyoyeon had slept over in his apartment, he had been careful to remember her limits because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. But right now, he wanted to do more than just hold her and so, without hesitation he kissed her on the lips for the first time in his life.

She responded slightly and surprised, but not quite disappointed.

Kai was left speechless. His fantasies of this very moment had been significantly deficient; he couldn’t have possibly imagined that his lips would be left itching for more. ‘Kris, that lucky bastard,’ he uttered to himself.  

“Why did you kiss me?” She asked placing two fingers gently over her lips.

“You really don’t remember who I am?” Kai broke from his trance and questioned unnecessarily, knowing perfectly well that she couldn’t remember, a small detail he was counting on if his plan was going to work.

Hyoyeon shook her head. Clearly he wasn’t a relative, not with the way he had kissed her. “Please, just tell me who you are!” She ordered.

He pulled her close again, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I’m Jongin,” he whispered lowly into her ear, “Your boyfriend.”