Chapter 11

Guys.. this is really short actually.. very.. I am so sorry cant update much. But I will do more when everything is get back normal..

“yahh.. is it about that break up again? Kim taeyeon.. how many time I said.. love can change.. heart is not remote control that we can push a button and It will come out just like we want. Stop blaming her for god sake” the fierce fany unleash out. The member feel the tense.. hellfany is scary though.. I am always scare of her.. when she mad is scary.. very.. hellsica too..

“yahh.. kidtaeng!!” sunny too.. scolding taeyeon. “you always said feeling sometime we never can express it with word.. what happen to you..”

“unnie…” seohyun crying when taeyeon being scold. “hear to taeyeon unnie too.. she had right to the her side of story.” She gave rational words. She hug taeyeon petite body.

“you are too different.. you keep blaming sica, these two days.. ignoring us.. don’t you get it? We had to lie to you so you wouldn’t acting like this.. yahh..” hyoyeon roughly push taeyeon body. Now everybody is crying together except taeyeon. “taeyeon aa… please forgive us for lying.. we did it for you own good, we never mean harm. Sica is our sister..you is our sister. Aren’t we are family? Aren’t you are the one who keep us always be like family. Why…”

“stop it hyo..” sica cut hyoyeon. She still deep down in her broken state.

“it okay sica.. she need to know how and what we feel”

“no..”

“yes she is..”

“you… kim taeyeon.. you always alone in your room.. keep everything inside.. we nearly don’t know you.. don’t you thing its funny?? We been..”

“STOP IT!!!” sica burst. “stop it… it not about she blaming me.. it was her.. she is blaming herself in front of mr kim young min about everything.. she did it.. she act like a hero again…. Taeyeon deal with him for me…” hyoyeon clutched her hand.. guilty feeling now choking her. She though it oppositely.

“what?”

“taenggoo aa.. why did you do that?”

“why I do that?” finally kim taeyeon is speaking. Replying all the commotion in the room. Fronting all the angry member after they are quite calm with sica explanation. “what should I do then? When my sister is being yelled being talked down with somebody else. Someone who never knew she who like I do? Should I stand there and say nothing? Should I just let her? Why did I do that?  How dare you asked me why did I do that.. you all are my sister.. and I am the oldest sister.. whatever you all doing is my concern.. why did I am so angry when you all lying to me? Do I ever lie to you all?” she take deep breathing.

“tae..” fany who sense taeyeon hell taeyeon to unleash try to sooth her.

“just shut up!” she look at everybody.. and the miracle is.. whoever she look is changing their sight away to the floor. She is very scary unnie after all. “I am secretive.. I am introvert. But did I ever lying to my sister? Fany a.. did i? lee soonkyu? Yuri? Just ask I will tell.. telling you all honestly. But all of you.. is clearly making plan lying me.. huhh? Until when? Maknae? You too.. how stupid am I who believing that no secret between us sister.. I mean.. would I kill you if you sharing with me about your feeling to taecyeon? No.. I am always supporting you first. My sister is my priorities for god sake. You all never trust me!! And you asking why I am take the blame!?”

“I am old enough to take the blame myself taengoo!?” the pressured and guilty make sica too.. raise her voice up. “I didn’t even asking you to help me..”

“yes.. you old enough.. taking everything.. you keep crying and  keep agree to what ever he said to you.. why??? I know you are not that cheap.. you never cheap.. you will never.. he is manipulating you.. do  you realized if you take the deal earlier you will dying busy?? You had drama, almost every day photo shoot, and he asked you to make album in May? Do you realized how is the deal gonna make you exhausted? You will collapse to it sica.. I had to take it.. I am trying to save you.. I just cant let you too suffer until yo..”

“THAT WHY I AM SO ANGRY WITH YOU!!” sica stand up now. Taeyeon too.. so the member too, be prepared any physical fight they might have. “I CAN HANDLED IT.. IT ME WHO WRONG.. that is my punishment, why the hell is you cancelling you Europe vacation just for cover my punishment? Then what I look like??”

“I did it cause I am the leader. I am the oldest sister.. if not me, who should responsible for all of my dongsaengie?”

“you know.. you never need to act like leader. You barely show you leadership, you barely act like leader for all this years. So no need to use the leader name on my situation. I hate you taengoo!!! I hate you.. don’t even bother about me again.. I didn’t need you and I will never need a leader like you..” Sica run our the room and meet me infront the door. But she saying nothing and run away to the washroom I believe.

For that.. taeyeon is freeze on her place. A blank reaction is portrait on her pale face.. weirdly

“taengkid.. sica didn’t mean it..” sunny quickly went to taeyeon. Patted her back softly. She knew taeyeon hurt by what sica said. But she too.. understand why is sica saying sunch things.. sica is seriously feeling very guilty to taeyeon since she broke up with donghae..

“anni unnie.. you always been the leader” maknae shook her head crazily with that statement.

“yeahh.. I am so sorry.... I am not acting like leader. It just I love singing more than the vacation.. so I choose to do it.. don’t worry.. leader is out of my league.. why didn’t I realized it sooner.. stop crying.. tell unnie.. we are going to go back to the dorm after this.” taeyeon smile to her member. She walk to the coach with still the same pale face and sit there silently.

“taeyeon..” yuri come hug her from behind. “yahh.. you the best leader you know. Please forgive sica.. she just to guilty cause you always take responsible on us.”

“yes unnie.. please don’t get mad..” yoona turn.. she to gather with taeyeon

“no.. I am not mad.. at least she being honest to me. It better than being lied to.” She chuckled.. patted the two lovingly. “let pack all of your stuff. We need to go back in 5 minute or so.” She look so okay.. is she? “fany ah.. go for sica.. yoona too..” she demand. Fany and yoona quickly went out and hehe.. I am totally there stand found by them..

“hye?” I said to fany.. fany stop with yoona look at me. “she go to washroom I think.” I show the way sica been run.

“o.. thanks oppa.” They did not asking me anything and just went to the washroom. I don’t know what to do. Should I just get into the room or should I act like I didn’t know anything.

Guess number two is better choice. So I back home without seeing taeyeon. I hope taeyeon will be okay.

End of flash back

“bro…” donghae voice make me look up for him.

“yahh.. how are you? Long time no see..” we had brotherly hug. He smile widely at me.

“I so fine.. still like before. Hehe.. how about you bro?” he asked me back.

“me.. as you see.. still good.” Somehow I can sense his smirk to mocked me.

“still? Siwon ahh… I am sorry cant attend taeyeon…..”

“its okay.. I know you not here. How your life in china?”

“hehe.. I am happy siwon. Very.. but I always love to be in korea..”

“had you met everybody?” he knew I mean about SM family.

He just smile. Quickly order as the waiter come.

“I had.. and I heard something not good about you.” I laugh to it.. I don’t know why but.. since when I am be such a matter to my SM family.

“yahh.. so you believe them? You should asking me first”

“hehe.. that why I come for you.. tell me what you want to do I will help you.”

“hehe.. yahh.. I am so okay… please don’t look like sick. I heard from everyone that I am not in good condition. But.. I don’t think you will be like them.” I kind of impatient as he keep talking like it..

“okay okay.. I am so sorry.. hehe.. let just drink.. want to go to noraebang after this?”

“sure sure”

“you miss her?”

“taeyeonnie?”

“who else?”

“hae.. you remember when she asking me for break up?”

Flashback.

My apartment now with heavy pressure. Taeyeon is standing in front of me who kneeling. Holding her hand.

“please stand up oppa.. what are you doing?” she join me kneeling infront of me.

“no taeyeon.. I am so sorry not telling you about it.. don’t break up with me.. I swear I will never lying to you again. Please..”

“oppa.. no.. I know.. I didn’t blame you. You not the problem..it me oppa..”

“no.. no.. you are not..”

“oppa.. let not thinking it as break up.. should I asked sometime.. I think I need it oppa..”

“no.. you just trying to letting me go.. you trying to end it right?” she look at me.. making me think that my guess is right.. “what did I ever do wrong kim taeyeon. I love you.. I am here for you.. ipromise not to leave you in any situation!!!!!” I shake her body with my anger.. I am so angry with all this.. why we had to break up… why she even need time for our relationship.. nothing is the matter for us.. for all this time we been doing so well.. I love her and I know she love me as well.. but..

Donghae come to me.. stopping before taeyeon get hurt. He pulled me a bit far from taeyeon,

“yahh kim taeyeon.. what are you doing? This is not right.. sica and me problem is doesn’t matter t siwon and you.. why would you do this?” he asked in anger. Both of them is really close since both of them is heechul favorite dongsaengi.

“you not understand..”

“why am I not understand about it taengoo ah?  You acting like this after..” donghae asking softly.. knowing taeyeon never can resist if someone ask her nicely..

“no oppa.. it not cause of that.. I swear.. it just.. I feel burden by this relationship..” I feel get strike by lighting.. when I am so happy and the relationship make me feel cloud nine yet for her this relationship is a burden… I can’t express it how much I feel sting.. my heart was tore pieces by pieces. “I cant.. this relationship will make fan hurt.. this relationship will make SNSD down.. I just can’t drag all of my member just for my love. All of I had now.. I just can give up on it.” She said seriously..

“even for our love? Or should we go to public? Is that what you want? I’ll do it taeng..” I try to barging.. I am afraid she will change.. her love will change.. I fear I cant live with  it. “should we engage? No one had right if we are engaged. Just please.. we are so okay before.. why.. I cant let you go taengbabe…”

“oppa… I love you.. but I cant lose SNSD and fan..”

“yahh!! What did siwon ever do make you so cruel to him?” donghae interrupt.

“no.. no… that why I said.. I am the problem..” her voices slow down.. must be scare of donghae. “I am the one who being selfish.. I choose my team.. I choose my carier, I chose this path. I am so sorry oppa.” Taeyeon said then she walk away. Leaving weak choi siwon. Broken heart choi siwon. And for second time I was left of my love for their future.

“let her be choi siwon. She not worth your heart.. if she really love you she would have think about you seriously.. future with you.. and… she is not the one who should you give your love… your love is too big for her.. and her love for glamorous is bigger than for you..” donghae said to me.. make me bottled up all the feel I had. I didn’t even can recognize the feeling.

Angry? Yes I am.

Sad? The tear is not acting

Hurt? Very sting in my heart.

Love? Still there.. for sure

Hopeless? That fill my heart..

Dying? The feel I had most. How am I had to living without her. Huh.. I love you kim taeyeon.

Donghae laugh at me. “hehe.. she did broke up with you two times right?”

I nodded. “and the second one is more biggest. Who didn’t know the BAekyeon scandal?”

To be continue….

A/n

Hello. Guys.. I just open the internet from a while.

So.. it baekyeon than taewon

I am taeyeon stan. I love her very much and I will keep trust her. Believing her is the most I can do right now.

Just like siwon feel in the short chapter I give . that is same as I feel.

It so many rumour and knetz keep giving out their analyses, and me.. decide to ignored and beware.

Beware so I can Prepare my heart if it true, ignored cause… if we not taeyeon and snsd member, we never knew the truth. I will only believe if taeyeon saying something about it. And if she did it, she had her own reason for it..

About the story..

I will continued. But, give me time.. my mother still in not her best condition. I just updating cause slightly I feel pain, not my two biased after all. Hehe. I really celebrating if the couple is taeyeon and siwon.. in my dream…

This story will remain, and I decide, I will make more taewon story after this… just wait for it okay??

It not like I didn’t support this baekyeon. I am supporting whatever it is. But, I still have hope until both siwon and taeyeon is not married. In relationship is just a beginning right? Doesn’t mean to end my hope and dream.

See you soon.. in three days at least?? Pray for taeyeon safety, her happiness.. been my job since 2007. So I will keep do it.

And my mom is starting to recovery. I hope she will comeback soon as always. Bye guys.. stay strong ^^