Chapter 4 – The Truth

Sunday, 16^th March 2014, A Dark Alley, 10:30 PM

AUTHOR POV

The mysterious person who scared Seunghun away is surprised to see Seohyun passed out. He is panicking and at the same time he wonders whether it is the right thing to do to bring her to the hospital in this kind of condition. Not only that it can create problems for her…he might be dragged too because he is the one that brought her over to the hospital. There’s another problem too for him…he doesn’t have any suitable vehicle to bring her over to the hospital. This man is getting more worried after he sees there a little blood on the side of her head where she got knocked just now. He has no other choice to make a phone call,

Man: “Noona…please come quick…I need a hand…”

Woman: “What are you doing this late? Are you not at your room?”

Man: “Sorry noona…I lied to you…you can scold me later but I really need your help now!”

Woman: “Is it something to do with Seohyun again? Didn’t I told you that I want you to not go anywhere near her again?”

Man: “But she was in danger…and…I helped her….but I am at a loss of what to do now by myself…I need your help…please noona?”

Woman: “Is it really urgent?”

Man: “Yes…I beg you noona….”

Woman: “Sigh…okay….but you will not sneak out of the house again next time you hear me?”

Man: “Yes noona…”

Woman: “Okay tell me where you are right now.”

40 Minutes Later…

Seohyun finally awake and the first thing she feel is the pain on the side of her head. She opens her eyes slowly and she is surprised to see Yoona’s face is staring at her looking really worried,

Seohyun: “Ugh….Yoona unnie? Where am I right now?”

Yoona: “Look for yourself…”

She looks around and she is even more surprised to find out that she is lying down on the bed of her bedroom and she spots Taeyeon and Hyoyeon too in her room. She remembers what happen, some guy tried to assault and her and the next thing she knows that she is losing her consciousness but she remembered that she saw someone else at the alley. The fact that she is now in her bedroom makes her understand that person was helping her. She then moves her eyes toward Yoona and she can see a glimpse of tears on her eyes. She feels bad knowing that Yoona is this worried,

Seohyun: “Sorry….for sneaking out and for making you worried….”

Yoona: “You should be…you were lucky you know? You should be careful next time!”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie….I’m sorry….please forgive me, I won’t do such thing again.”

Yoona; “Of course you won’t do anything like that again! Because if something were to happen to you…I…I….”

She can’t talk anymore and she just hugs Seohyun tightly and her tears are flowing out of her eyes. The past few weeks have been hard for Yoona, knowing that Seohyun had a problem that makes her suffered. She breaks down when she found out that Seohyun almost got and kidnapped if that mysterious person didn’t help her out. She tried hard not to cry but as soon as Seohyun wakes up, there is a sense of relief and sadness felt by Yoona.

Seeing Yoona like this makes Seohyun cries as well. She now can’t lie to her unnie anymore about what she is experiencing for the past couple of weeks. Not only that she almost got harmed because of this, she knows that the other SNSD members must be really worried with her. After both Yoona and Seohyun calm down, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon join them in the bed and after hugging the two of them, Seohyun is curious about how she ends up back in the dorm,

Seohyun: “So unnie…”

Taeyeon: “You must be confused of why you are end up back in the dorm right?”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie…I am confused…”

Hyoyeon: “Remember today…you pulled someone from the crowd?”

Seohyun: “Today?”

Yoona: “At the fan signing event…”

Seohyun: “Ah…yes…”

Taeyeon: “Well…I think she might be able to explain things better for you by herself…”

A woman enters Seohyun’s bedroom and she is surprised to see that it is Haeri, the woman that Seohyun argued just a couple hours before. Haeri looks uncomfortable being in the same room with Seohyun but seeing Seohyun with an injury and the look on her face that seems to be really grateful to see Haeri’s presence in the room, she changes her mind,

Haeri: “Well…after our discussion earlier today, I am not really comfortable being in the same room with you. But I see that you are genuinely in trouble…which is why I decided to help you.”

Seohyun: “Ah…thanks unnie…I…I’m sorry…I must be too hard on you and your brother before. I said something that I am not really proud of…accusing someone like that. Forgive me unnie…I…I’ll try not to behave that way again in the future.”

Haeri: “I can understand why you are behaving that way. I just wish that you didn’t jump into conclusion that early before knowing the facts….and…I am thinking that maybe you should see him…seeing it is not quite polite for you not to say thank you to him personally.”

Seohyun: “Ah? Do you mean that…”

Haeri: “I think it is better to tell you about the whole story. There might be a few details missing here and there since I only heard it from my brother…but…it seems that he is not there to help you because of coincidence…”

Seohyun: “What do you mean?”

Haeri: “I’m sorry to tell you this Seohyun…and probably this will be uncomfortable for you to hear….but my brother…he is a really big fan of yours…he likes you very much, he idolize you and always thought of you as his inspiration…an inspiration for this life. He doesn’t have any harmful intention toward you…so don’t get this the wrong way…but since you are debuting with SNSD in 2007, he is one of the first people to join your fan base…and since 2007 until now…he always follow you around for every individual and group activities that you’re involved with. You can see from all the photos that he took of you…in a very polite term…you can say that he is your hardcore fan…in a slightly more rough term…he is…your stalker.”

Seohyun: “Oh my….”

Taeyeon: “Yes…and you are lucky tonight Seohyun…because you have a stalker…a protective stalker…”

Haeri: “Yes…that guy that was about to kidnap you? My brother learns about his intention since that day on the previous fan signing event…do you remember that he got hit by a rock by someone?”

Yoona: “That was his brother…because he heard this man keep talking to everyone in the crowd that he’s going to expose another scandal by finding out which one of us SNSD members’ are dating beside me and Sooyoung unnie…so when he talked to you…her brother knew exactly that he was trying to pester you with uncomfortable questions, hence he threw the rock to make him went off the stage.”

Haeri: “Because of that incident…that guy started planning…planning about bad stuffs…you probably knows by now what he has done. This Seunghun guy…he sent a few messages to the people that were the members of Seohyun’s fan site and start planning to do this…of course some people would just ignored him thinking he was some kind of bluffing maniac but there are others too who were joining him in the plan…in the end my brother manage to crush his ultimate plan to kidnap…and sorry to say this…to kidnap and you…”

Seohyun: “Oh my God…that…that is horrible…why would that oppa tried to kidnap and me? He even told me that he is my fan…”

Hyoyeon: “Some people are like that Seohyun…it doesn’t mean that all your fans are like that…take her brother as an example…he is a big fan of yours yet…well…it is kind of ironic…while the other oppa badly want to get his hands on you…her brother on the other hand, prefer to watch you from far away, taking pictures and protecting you even if you don’t ask for it.”

Seohyun: “Ah! There’s one thing that I want to ask you unnie…why is he…always avoiding me? I mean…every time I stare at him, he always turn his back on me, running away? Also…I don’t think I ever saw him in any of my fan signing event…at least the ones that I remembered…”

Haeri: “There are several reasons…but I think it might be best for you to ask him by yourself…”

Seohyun: “Is he here? Can I see him unnie?”

Haeri: “Unfortunately not….after he helped you in that alley, he called me asking for help and after dropping you off here to your dorm…which of course I am able to find out the location of it thanks to him, he goes back home straight away.”

Seohyun: “Why is he avoiding me? Did I do something wrong to him? Did I make him upset?”

Haeri: (Smiling) “No my dear Seohyun…you’re not. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Seohyun: “But how? I don’t even know where he lives or his phone number or what his name is. Can’t you just tell me unnie?”

Haeri: “As I said before, my brother is basically your stalker…you’ll meet him soon enough…hehe…okay then…I am to get going now…I don’t want to disturb SNSD’s night just because of me, especially with the ruckus going on in the living room with the rest of the members, I think you better talk to them. I’m glad to see you safe Seohyun…I hope you don’t think badly about my brother anymore. Bye…thanks everyone…bye….”

Seohyun: “Ah unnie…wait! There’s so much more I want to ask…”

Taeyeon: “Let her go Seohyun…you hear what she said…”

Hyoyeon: “Right now there is a more important thing that you have to discuss with all of us.”

Yoona: “Yes Seohyun…you have to explain everything, no more secrets, no more lies.”

Taeyeon: “Don’t you know how all of us feel? This is even worse than that time I almost got kidnapped o the stage! Please maknae….don’t hide things anymore from us….”

Seohyun: “Are all the unnies in the dorm?”

Hyoyeon: “Yes…they are waiting for you outside. We purposely ask our manage to go to the mini market and the late night food stalls to buy us some food so that you can talk…come on…everyone is waiting.”

Seohyun: “Okay…I’ll talk to everyone…I don’t want to make anyone worried for me anymore…I’m a bit light headed, can you help me up?”

Yoona and Hyoyeon are helping Seohyun back up to her feet and they are walking her to the living room. The rest of the SNSD members are in the living room and they are conversing with each other seriously and of course the topic of their conversation is none other than Seohyun. When they see her walking out the door, they all stop talking simultaneously and they are waiting for her to give out the explanation that of course has been long due. She then finally sits on the sofa with Yoona and Hyoyeon on both side of her. Taeyeon is joining the rest of them in the living room and before Seohyun starts to speak, Tiffany is the first one to say what’s in her mind,

Tiffany: “Maknae…now that you caused this much trouble…you really need to explain us two things…one…what is happening with you? Two…why didn’t you tell us earlier about all these?”

Seohyun: “Sorry everyone…I…am so selfish…thinking that I would overcome this all by myself that I decided not tell everyone about it. I know that we shouldn’t keep secret between each other…I…I am sorry….”

Jessica: “That’s okay…just tell us what is happening with you?”

Seohyun: “So…it all started that day on the Guerilla Date filming location. I saw someone….”

So Seohyun tells everything, from about the stalker, Haeri, Seunghun and of course what are her own thoughts about all of these. There are not many of the SNSD members who are really surprised that these things are startling Seohyun, they know just how innocent Seohyun is and to be facing these sort of things, they know it would be hard and complicated for her. In the end, Seohyun bursting up in tears because of her guilt toward the members because she lies to them and she caused problems that make the other worried at her. Some members seem unhappy that Seohyun was tackling this problem on her own before but they are really close with each other and they quickly forgive her and they quickly hug and console her saying everything will be alright. After Seohyun starts to calm down, Taeyeon asks her,

Taeyeon: “So we find out everything…but there is another thing that I want to know, what are you going to do next?”

Tiffany: “I think you should just resume your activities like normal…if you are lucky enough to stumble upon him again…then maybe you can talk with him. You can’t let yourself distracted by his presence. We worked hard for this comeback…and we faced certain problems during the preparation. Our fans would want to see the best of us…since we are going to do a lot of activities again in Japan after this. I’m sorry that it might sound selfish…but I think you should put aside this personal problem and resume your life like he never existed.”

Yoona: “You have some strong words coming out of your mouth there unnie…I understand your point but I don’t think she should just ignore it. I agree with you that she should just continue her activities normally and try her best not to let the fans know about her concerns. But she can’t just pretend like this never happened…”

Taeyeon: “I’m sure Fany just trying to tell maknae here that if she calm herself down, continue with her activities, one day that person will shows up eventually and hopefully putting an end to this problem that she experience right now…right Fany?”

Tiffany: “Yeah…sorry for the strong words….that is exactly what I am saying.”

Seohyun: “Everyone…I don’t know what is going to happen again but I hope there will be anymore of strange incidents happening toward me now that Seunghun oppa ran away. I know his face and his name; also he is a member of the fan site…I don’t think that we should report this to the police because it will blows out as a huge scandal if it got leaked so from now on I won’t go out alone by myself anymore like I did tonight. As for Haeri’s brother…my stalker…I think I am just going to do what Fany unnie told me, continue on with our group activities and if he happened to show up, then I will have a good talk with him. That’s all.”

Yoona: “As long as you are happy with your decision, we have nothing against it.”

Sooyoung: “Yes…It is hard for us to see you like this Seohyun…”

Sunny: “To think that something like this would happen to you out of all of us? It is just surprising…”

Hyoyeon: “And you will not go anywhere along, even when you’re not in the dorm you need to have someone going with you…”

Yuri: “Just…be safe…we all love you Seohyun…”

Taeyeon: “Yes…we all really love you…as much as we want to be a nagging ahjumma and give you thousand of advices…who are we kidding here? We all know that despite you are the maknae of this group, you are probably the most mature one out of all of us…”

Tiffany: “But still…you have to talk to us whenever you have problem. You might not get the answers you want from us, but it will be good for you to speak about your problems with us. It will make you feel better…”

Jessica: “Talk to us okay maknae the next time you have something like this? We might not be together all the time…but you can always count on us!”

Yoona: “That’s true…we all love you…so the next time things like this happen, make sure that you will talk about this with us okay? Don’t try to solve it all by yourself. Share the problem…we are always together no matter whether it is in good or bad times…”

Seohyun: “Thank you…thank you…I am so grateful to you have you all here…thank you….”

She cries again and they 9 of them end this conversation with a warm group hug. Seohyun can’t stop crying, she knows the problem is not solved yet but she is grateful that even when she caused so much trouble for the group, they are really supporting her and show her how much they love her. Contrast to the warm atmosphere in the SNSD’s dorm, on the other part of Seoul, Haeri arrived back in the house and her brother is already waiting back at home,

Haeri: “You’re still up? You need your rest you know…”

Man: “Yes I know, but I need to know how Seohyun is doing…”

Haeri: “She’s fine thanks to you, she’s just going to talk with the other members about this…I tell her about you though…but I remain silent about who you are and about your whole journey since you become her fan…I think she deserves to hear it from you.”

Man: “Thanks noona…you are really helpful.”

Haeri: “And you have to take care of yourself too…”

Man: “Yes I will noona…”

Haeri: “So…want me to drop you off for tomorrow’s session? I mean…I can get some time off work to do it.”

Man: “I would love to…but…just go to work noona…I can go by myself…you need the money…we need the money basically…I’m okay going on my own…”

Haeri: “You sure?”

Man: “I’m fine noona…thanks…”

Haeri: “Okay…just…I know you’re going to take some more of her photograph after your session…just be careful okay? You know that you supposed to rest up…”

Man: “I know noona, I’ll be fine and I’ll be careful…thanks…”

Haeri: “You know that mom and dad will hate to see you suffer like this right? Do you miss them?”

Man: “Yes…so much…”

The two siblings hug each other and there is something mysterious about Seohyun’s stalker. It is probably one of the reasons why he always avoided Seohyun so much until now. Until these two know about it for the time being, but by the time Seohyun finds out about it…things will be different for him.

Monday, 17^th March 2014, Seohyun’s Bedroom, 8:30 AM

SEOHYUN POV

We have several group activities today and also meeting in the SM office regarding our Japanese tour concept but I am going to stay at dorm until the evening then I will join the unnies. Yuri unnie is staying in the dorm with me because she got a slight cold and I think it is because they don’t want me to stay alone at all by myself even when one of our managers is around. Of course we did our best to lie to our managers to explain the wound that I get on the side of my head. We told them that I was playing around with Yoona unnie and then I tripped and my head banged against the wall. It is not really fool-proof lie but the managers are buying it at least.

I cooked some soup for Yuri unnie and it seems that she liked it. I think right about now she is resting inside her room and hopefully she will get better by the evening so that she can join our activities as well. I am in my bedroom and I start wondering, I have these kinds of unexplained feelings toward my savior. I don’t tell the unnie yet about it…not because I want to hide things again from them, but I think this is something that I have to solve myself. It is strange and weird because…I only see him a couple of times…I never even properly talk with him…I don’t even know his name or what he is doing for living…but…I have this warm feeling about him when I keep thinking that he saved me last night. I don’t know how to explain it…but…maybe I should write in my diary…since I don’t think I can talk this with the other unnie just yet,

Entry no.4

March 17^th 2014

Dear Diary…

This is Seo Joo-Hyun making another entry into the diary. Yesterday after I made an entry to the diary, there is a strange thing happened to me. For the first time in my life, I faced the danger of being and kidnapped by a stranger which happen to be my fan, thinking about it really gives me a headache and not because of the wound that I have on my head right now. It is just so bizarre that I have experienced something like that last night. Previously, it gives me goose bumps whenever I remembered about Taeyeon unnie’s kidnapping incident on stage few years back. Now that I experienced it myself…it is terrifying, something that I would never want to face again in the future. I need to be more careful now.

Then of course, that man popped up again. Previously he made me curious…angry…upset…confused whenever he shows up in front of me but last night…I am grateful. I still remember hearing his voice before I passed out, if I am not wrong…he told me that he will always protect me…is that true? Will he do that for me? I never heard someone saying something like that to me aside from lines in variety shows or drama. Does he really mean it? Does he…like me? Like me more than just a fan.

Is it even possible for him to like me? I mean…even though he stalked me all these years…wouldn’t he need to get to know me better before he can like me as a woman? Or I am just too inexperienced in these kinds of things that actually I don’t have a clue at all about feelings…love…those sorts of things.

Wait a minute…Am I….Am I in love? Is this what this is? These unexplained feelings….and I keep thinking about him, remembering how he voice sounds like…am I getting attracted to him? Is this even possible? No way…I am not someone that would easily……….sigh…I don’t know….

If this is true…then maybe I should avoid him…I guess. I mean…The more I am thinking about this and about him…the more distracted I would be. I can’t let something like that to happen again. I made a promise to the SNSD unnies that I will not lie to them and I will continue doing my activities as normal. With this…unexplained feelings…will I be able to do so? I never been in love before and I am not even sure that I am now. But…whenever I think about him rescuing me…it makes me want to see him more…it makes me want to talk with him…ask him what he likes about me…why he never approach me on the fan singing or other events where we interact with our fans.

Argh…I am getting confused now. No matter whether I like him or not I think it is best for me to talk to him. Avoiding him and ignoring his existence will only make things worse. I supposed I need to thank him too for saving me…and also…for the photo album…and I don’t get that phone case either…I don’t know what it means as it doesn’t even fit my phone anyway. I don’t think we will have much outdoor filming or anymore fan signing events…I don’t know how I will meet him…but I guess…if he really is my stalker…he will find a way to see me…

Right?

Later on that day, 2:30 PM

My eyes are heavy after reading some books. I really want to take a nap but I need to prepare before I leave the dorm in 2 hours. We have to do pre-recording tomorrow for music show since we will be leaving to Vietnam to attend the music festival event over there. It is going to be busy as usual for the couple of days…I hope Yuri unnie is getting better. I haven’t really checked up on her since she stays in her bedroom since this morning. So today we’re going to have a meeting for our tour concept…we already know pretty much what concept in terms of outfits, performances and of course the stage as well since we already practiced anyway but I think there will be some minor details added for today.

I prepare some fruits that I can eat as snacks when I’m hungry on our schedule…probably going to prepare more for the unnies as well, they should eating some more fruits rather than those unhealthy snacks that they always bought from the convenience store. As I am cutting apple, the intercom in our dorm signaling an incoming call from the lobby. I pick up the phone and it is the security from the lobby,

Security: “Good afternoon. Who am I speaking with?”

Seohyun: “Ah this is Seohyun…”

Security: “Oh, good afternoon Seohyun-shi…I’m sorry to disturb you, is your manager in the room?”

Seohyun: “Yes but she is sleeping, do you want me to wake her up?”

Security: “Well, it isn’t really necessary; I just want to inform you that there is a guest down here. She said that she is looking for you, Seohyun-shi.”

Seohyun: “If it is my family just let them in, I think you should recognize them already right?”

Security: “Yes…but this isn’t your family members or your friends.”

Seohyun: “Hmm…what is her name?”

Security: “Her name is Haeri, Seohyun-shi.”

Ah? Haeri unnie…hmm…what does she want by coming here? Is there anything in particular that she wants to talk to me about? Or maybe…she comes to our dorm…with him? Oh my God…I am not ready for this I think…uh…

Seohyun: “Sorry ahjusshi…did Haeri unnie comes alone or she has someone else with him?”

Security: “I think she comes alone because I don’t see anyone else with her…do you want me to her up to the room? Do you know this woman?”

Seohyun: “Um…yes ahjusshi…let her in, it’s okay. I know her.”

Security: “Okay then, thank you Seohyun-shi and sorry to disturb you.”

Seohyun: “That’s alright ahjusshi, gomawo…”

I quickly finish cutting up the apple and I put it inside the food container. I wake up my manager unnie and tell her that my friend is visiting me on the dorm. Luckily she is quite sleepy and doesn’t really ask which one of my friends are coming to the dorm and she goes back to sleep. I then quickly go to Yuri unnie’s room, I knock the door and I can hear her voice faintly, letting me into her room. She is in the bed and she doesn’t look that better yet. I sit by her side on the bed,

Seohyun: “Unnie…it looks like your fever is not going down yet…you’re okay?”

Yuri: “Ah yes…it’s getting better but as you can see I am not 100% fit…maybe I can attend the meeting today, we’ll see about that.”

Seohyun: “Ah okay…listen unnie…I need your help…”

Yuri: “My help? I don’t know what I can do to help you with me lying down on the bed like this.”

Seohyun: “Ah you don’t have to get up…do you remember the unnie from last night? Haeri unnie? She’s downstairs in the lobby and on her way up here. I don’t know what she is going to talk about with me…but if the manager unnie woke up and ask you about her identity, just tell her that she is my friend from school, okay unnie?”

Yuri: “Ah okay….yeah yeah, I can do that…don’t worry. Just invite that unnie into your room so that our manager can’t hear your conversation.”

Seohyun: “Yes I am going to do just that…thanks unnie…do you want me to get you anything?”

Yuri: “Umm…can you heat up the soup? Probably after that unnie goes home…I am too lazy to get up and go to the kitchen with my body condition like this…”

Seohyun: “Ah do you want me to do that for you now?”

Yuri: “That’s okay, just talk with that unnie first, I’m going to go back to sleep now. If our manager unnie comes into my room, I can ask for her help too so don’t worry too much about doing that for me right now…just have a nice talk with that unnie okay? See whether it will help you or not.”

Seohyun: “Thanks Yuri unnie…get well soon…”

Yuri: “Thanks maknae…”

I go back outside and just in time as I hear a knocking on the door. I see Haeri unnie escorted by a security guard to our dorm room. I let her in and after offering her something to drink which she refuses, I ask her to come into my bedroom so that we can talk more comfortably. We sit on my bed side by side and I can see that she really has something to say to me,

Seohyun: “So unnie…is there anything that I can help you with?”

Haeri: “I’m sorry to disturb you…are you in the middle of something?”

Seohyun: “Ah I am not unnie…don’t worry. I was cutting some apples before you come…so anything I can help you with?”

Haeri: “So…I just want to confirm something with you before I actually say what I am going to say…are you going to attend event in a couple of days? If I am not wrong it is for the Baby-G 20^th Anniversary Party…correct?”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie…we are going to that event and we will perform some songs too…”

Haeri: “I see…then may I ask something from you if that is not too much for you?”

Seohyun: “Sure unnie…just tell me what it is and I will help you the best I can…”

Haeri: “So…the fans will be able to attend this event to watch the performance right?”

Seohyun: “Yes I think so…”

Haeri: “So…I need to ask a favor from you and please don’t misunderstood that I am requesting this just because my brother helped you yesterday…I hope you are not thinking about me that way…”

Seohyun: “Oh of course not unnie….I am not going to think about it that way….so what kind of favor that you need from me?”

Haeri: “You know that for every event when there is performance like this one…people will be lining up from early right to get to the best spot in watching the performance? The earliest one usually get the closest to the stage…”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie….”

Haeri: “Umm…can you arrange something…but not for me…It is for my brother…”

Seohyun: “Yes?”

Haeri: “Usually I don’t mind that he lined up starting from few hours before the event started…but…for some reason that I really can’t tell you…I think it is better for him not to wait that long in the queuing line just to get the front spot…can you…arrange something? I don’t know…I am no expert in things like these…maybe some kind of VIP pass or something where he can watch SNSD perform from close range but without him queuing up the line…I’m really sorry Seohyun if this is too much to ask from you…”

Seohyun: “Ah I see…you don’t have to apologize so much unnie…I think I can arrange something about that. I need to ask my manager first about it and see what kind of pass that the event organizer is giving out. But…sorry unnie…I need to ask something from you. From the way you said it…it seems that…your brother has some kind of condition that makes you don’t want him to spend so much time in the queuing line…am I right?”

Haeri: “…………………..”

Seohyun: “Unnie?”

Haeri: “Sorry Seohyun…I might sound like a broken record here…but…anything about him…it is better for you to ask him personally…because…there is one more thing that I need to ask from you…”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie?”

Haeri: “If…somehow…that you can get us that pass…hmm…he would be very grateful…but…if that isn’t possible…I know that you are going to the Vietnam music festival…and you will be pre-recording some of your performances for this week’s music shows…is it possible that…he can get a backstage pass?”

Seohyun: “Ah? I think I will be able to arrange that easier than the Baby-G event…but…that means…”

Haeri: “Yes Seohyun…my brother want to see you face to face…there’s something that he wants to talk about with you.”

Seohyun: “Ah…umm….I don’t know…why does he want to meet me all of the sudden? Doesn’t he always avoid me all this time?”

Haeri: “You can ask him yourself Seohyun…so…can you help me with this favor?”

Seohyun: “I certainly can…I think we’re supposed to pre-record the Music Core performance in two days but with Yuri unnie still feeling unwell, I’m not sure whether we can do it or not…but we have to do it eventually since we have to complete it before going overseas…mmm….I’ll ask my manager about it…okay? So…how can I reach you to tell you about this?”

Haeri: “Oh yes…there’s one more thing I need to tell you...I’ll give you my phone number after this…I am scared that I will forget to give you this…he will scold me forever if I forget about it…hold on a second… (reaching into her hand bag to grab something)…umm…ahh….here it is…for you Seohyun…”

She gives me something…an USB flash drive…what is the meaning of this?

Seohyun: “Uh thank you unnie…what’s in this flash drive?”

Haeri: “I don’t know…it is from him…he specifically told me not to open the files in it and to give it to you. You can see the content of the flash drive yourself…I don’t want to get nagged by him if I take a small peek of what is inside it…”

Seohyun: “Ah…okay….thank you unnie…”

Haeri: “Whatever it is, it is probably for the best if you take a look at the content by yourself. Knowing my brother he probably stuffed a lot of contents about you that might be embarrassing to see it with the others. So here is my phone number…feel free to call or text message me anytime you want. If I am not picking up that means I am still working…but you can leave me message or anything that suits you…just tell me where I can pick up the pass if you can help us with that…”

Seohyun: “Ah okay unnie, I’ll see what I can do about it…thank you for giving me this.”

Haeri: “That’s okay, I have to get going now…My shift start in an hour…thanks for having me here Seohyun…I hope your head gets better and say hi to the other SNSD members for me okay? Good luck and be safe in your activities, fighting!”

Seohyun: “Ah thank you unnie…be careful on your way to work too…thank you for coming…..let me see you out…”

Haeri: “Ah that’s okay…just see what is inside that flash drive…I can get out by myself…don’t worry…bye Seohyun…thanks for hearing me out…”

Seohyun: “Okay unnie…thanks…bye bye….”

Even though she wants me to stay in my room, I feel bad about letting her out just like that so I walk her at least until the front door of our dorm. She waves goodbye at me as she enters the elevator, she is so different than when I confronted her during the fan signing. I guess…I was quite harsh on her at that time. She is nice…and from the way she encourages us, she is really our fan I guess, hehe….oh well…I need to behave from now on…I was acting so rough toward that unnie before…let’s not do something like that again in the future.

Before I check the content of that flash drive I go toward the kitchen and I wait until the soup is properly heated. I pour some of the soup into a bowl and I bring it over to Yuri unnie’s room. She is still sleeping so I put it on the table of her room and leave it there, I’m pretty sure the smell of that soup will wake her up soon enough. I check on the manager unnie once again and she is still sleeping but she is moving around now, probably she will wake up soon, I better go take a look at the content of the flash drive now before Yuri unnie and manager unnie wake up.

I go inside my room, I lock the door and I turn on my laptop and plug in the flash drive into the usb slot of my laptop. My heart is beating faster…I don’t know what to expect from that man. I should ask Haeri unnie at least what his name is…I keep imagining someone that I don’t even know the name of that person. Finally the screen is loading up and after the laptop installing the drive; there it goes…the name of the flash drive appears on the screen, ‘A note for Seohyun’. Judging from the title, I think he wants to send me a message through this. I open the folder and inside there are two files can be seen. One is an audio file and the other is a picture. I think I am going to listen to the audio file first. I grab my earphones and plug it into the laptop. I take a long deep breath before I press play on the audio file. I am nervous.

AUTHOR POV

The audio file is starting…

Hi Seohyun noona…this is me…I don’t know whether you still remember my voice or not but I am the one that saved you yesterday at that alley. I’m sorry that I never got the chance to see whether you are alright or not but Haeri noona told me that you are doing fine and by the time this reach you, I’m sure you met her again, I’ll be asking about you through her.

I hope that you like the photo albums that I gave you. It might be too thick and the pictures might be too much for you to see every single of it, but I hope that you like that gift. I also wrote a letter for you that day, I hope that you read it. This…message…is recorded because I have some explanation that I need to give you…just in case that I am unable to see you next week. Haeri noona talked with you regarding the pass…I hope that I will be able to get it but if I don’t…well I will find some other opportunities probably. You don’t have to be burdened by it.

I actually don’t know where to start…but I think the polite thing is to introduce myself. My name is Min Joon-Han, but my friends usually called me Joon. It is strange knowing that we share the same acronym in our names (J.H). So I was born in Seoul, 21 years ago. I started becoming your fans of course since ‘Into the New World’. Up until this point, ‘Girls Go to School’ still is my favorite variety show that SNSD is featured in. When supporting SNSD during the ‘Into the New World’ promotion, it keeps reminded me how I become SNSD’s fan and of course your fan as well in the first place.

I think during that era, boy band are really dominating the scene of K-pop and I remembered how SNSD and Wonder Girls really stand out and start breaking down that domination. Well this is probably my own opinion and I don’t mean to disrespect any other girl groups out there that are existed at that time so I hope you don’t get me wrong there. Since then, I always supported the 9 of your tirelessly, I also sent a lot of gifts to you at that time. I think the ones that I remembered were Sergeant Keroro doll and something to do with goguma…I can’t quite remember.

Sorry that I got off the track here, so like any other fans out there, I am following SNSD and your individual activities closely, taking pictures whenever I can. Unlike some of the fans that I know, when SM announced that you were going to be casted in We Got Married, I didn’t upset at all. Some people complaining that you have this innocent image that you should keep and doing that show is going to ruin it but I guess you prove a lot of people wrong. I on the other hand am really happy because I am able to see sides of you that I never know before. I don’t know whether you acted like that because the program is about marriage and you are trying to show sides of you that people aren’t aware of, but I don’t care. That program for me is the gateway to know you a lot better and I was never upset or angry about it.

So enough about that…I guess I am quite nervous thinking that you would hear me talking to you through this audio message that I got side track a lot. I’m sorry noona; I will talk straight to the point right now. I am not that good in editing so I don’t think I will be able to cut some parts in this audio message so I do hope that you forgive me that if you think some of the things I said are not making sense at all. First of all, I want to apologize for turning my back against you on Guerilla Date. I heard from the other fans that you showed upset expression on your face, probably caused by me at that time. I’m sorry noona but I hope that I can explain it to you when I meet you. I hope that you can accept my apology for that.

So noona…the thing that I always like about you is that you always look calm, composed and it seems that you are emanating this aura that can calm people’s heart. I’m sorry that if it is sounded too cheesy that it makes your fingers curled, but this is what I see in you. For some SONEs you are an idol with a beautiful voice, for others, you are an idol with a beautiful face, for some other people you are a beautiful idol with a beautiful voice. These might be the reasons why your fans love and idolized you so much. I am slightly different with these people…don’t get me wrong noona. I think you are beautiful and you have a very amazing voice…I truly think that you have those traits in you…but none of those are the important factors of how I truly become your fan.

It is because you…you are one inspiring human being. You are always true to yourself…you have a certain mindset about how to approach things and you always stick by it, no matter how much other people will see or think that you are strange for doing so. You have such conviction in your and a huge dedication to not only improve yourself but also others and you always find a way to help people in needs. When I saw you donated that scholarship to Dongguk University and then the rice wreaths to all those people in needs, I literally tearing up. I’m sorry that I can’t talk much about myself for the time being…but I can feel the happiness of all those people that you helped with that donation. You…you are really a source of inspiration. You are not just an idol in my eyes…you are the perfect example of the person that I want to emulate.

I’m sorry that I talked a lot about these things and I hope that it doesn’t really bother you. I am not trying to make you feel uncomfortable or anything like that by telling you all these things. Forgive me if you feel that way. I also want to say that…there is one particular scene that I will always remember for the rest of my life. If you remember, all SNSD members once featured in Kim Jung Eun Chocolate. If I am not wrong it is during your ‘Tell Me Your Wish’ promotion. During the segment where your mother shows up and then Tiffany noona admitted that her mom has passed away. The way that I see how all 9 of you are crying whenever the word mom is mentioned…it…it hits me. SNSD members miss their mothers too but they keep going strong and performing their activities and keep going on with their lives no matter how hard it is whenever they miss their parents. When I saw you cry in that show when your mother is revealed to be the mysterious guest…I miss that kind of interaction…I miss my mom… (stops talking for a moment and can be heard crying).

Sorry noona…sorry…I get too emotional whenever I talked about this and probably I am not making any sense for the past two minutes or so, I’m sorry. So anyway, I think I will end this audio message here. I hope that I can meet you in person…I am really excited about it! I know that you must be busy but I hope that you are able to spare a little bit of your time for me. I know I am probably a nobody and I am not even sure that you are listening to this audio message or not but one can hope right? No matter how slim the chance is, I always hope that someday I can shake your hand and talk to you personally and hold a conversation with you.

Thank you Seohyun noona…for being the light that pave my way in my dark road and for always be true to yourself. Bye noona…this is Joon and I hope that I will see you in the near future. Thank you.

Oh yes noona…about the picture in the folder. I just want to say that…I really like your expression in that picture. I still use it often as my phone wallpaper until now. I think it is a screen cap from a clip if I am not wrong. Just in case you are confused…hehe…

The audio message ends….

Hearing this audio message, something pieced her heart. She definitely can feel what Joon is going through his words on this audio message. She can’t help but shed some tears, knowing that Joon probably faced some kind of problem in his life that might be related to his parents.

She opens the picture and if she remembered it correctly it is a clip from two years ago. She is thankful that he told her about this picture, but most importantly for her…she feels bad that she once thinking bad stuffs about this man. She thinks that he is really sincere with his words on the audio message and she doesn’t know why but she feels like she wants to help him out with the trouble in his life. She really needs to see him.

She tried to let him know that she has listened to the audio message but she doesn’t really know what she should do. After thinking about it for a while, she decided to post a message on her SNS and hopefully Joon will understand the meaning of it,

‘The road to achieve something that you dream about is not easy, people fall and stumble on their way but by believing in yourself and being true to yourself and always convinced that what your heart saying is true that you will overcome from the failure. People fall all the time but they always get up again. This is Seohyun and hopefully all those people out there with problem in their lives never give up hope and always believe in themselves.’

After posting the message through SNS, she talks to herself,

Seohyun: “I’m sorry Joon, Haeri unnie, SNSD unnies, Yonghwa oppa. I have been behaving badly lately and my mind full of negativity most of the time. I am sorry for being stubborn whenever I am right or wrong but I promise you all that side of me will never shows up again. Sorry everyone…and thank you…especially to you Joon…we haven’t meet yet…but I’m sure that our meeting will bring something new to my life…I don’t know what it is but I just have that kind of feeling.”

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I decided to make this story a 6 chapters story, meaning there are only two chapters left before the story ends! Thank you for your support so far in this short story. The next chapter will obviously feature her meeting with her stalker and she will find out more about him. :)