Chapter 3 – Slowly Changing

Saturday, 15^th March 2014, SNSD’s Dorm Living Room, 9:00 PM

AUTHOR POV

Seohyun is thinking of what to do next because she is getting more anxious and more worried about Yonghwa. Yonghwa is injured because of her and she is confused of what she is going to do next. SNSD’s manager have arrived in the dorm and they are discussing on how they should tackle this situation,

Seohyun: “Unnie what to do now?”

Manager: “I’ll ask the other manager to check on how Yonghwa is doing but at the moment we have to prepare a statement to the media, the sooner you deny it the better it will be.”

Taeyeon: “I think Seohyun should visit Yonghwa at the hospital.”

Manager: “It will be a good idea if they are not in this kind of situation…but now that the rumor spread like this? People will think that Seohyun is visiting him because she is his girlfriend who is really concern at his condition.”

Sooyoung: “But you can think this the other way. People will expect Seohyun to stay away from Yonghwa…but if she is boldly enough to visit him tonight, they might sense something isn’t right. Then after the visit, Seohyun can give out statement to the media to deny their relationship.”

Hyoyeon: “Mmm…that might work as well.”

Manager: “I don’t know…wait here, I’m going to contact SM first about this.”

Seohyun: “But unnie….”

Manager: “Sorry but everything we are going to do from now on regarding you and Yonghwa must be consulted to the company first, you know the rules maknae.”

Seohyun: “Ah but….”

Manager: “Sorry maknae, but I have to make this call; I’ll be back in a minute.”

As the manager is making a phone call to the company, Seohyun is getting lost in her thoughts of what she should do and right at this moment Sooyoung is encouraging her,

Sooyoung: “I think you should see Yonghwa oppa.”

Seohyun: “You think so?”

Taeyeon: “Yeah but risking the wrath of the manager unnie.”

Hyoyeon: “Just do whatever you think is right Seohyun.”

Seohyun: “I don’t know unnie, I am confused. I mean…Yonghwa oppa probably got hit because of me…at the very least I should be there to apologize to him right?”

Taeyeon: “Yeah but right now is probably not a good time.”

Sooyoung: “I think you should go…come on maknae…I know you too well, you must feel bed with Yonghwa oppa right now…”

Seohyun: “Do you even know where he is now?”

Hyoyeon: “It’s all over the SNS maknae; I know which hospital he is getting treated now.”

Sooyoung: “Okay…you got your car here right Hyoyeon?”

Hyoyeon: “Yeah.”

Taeyeon: “Are you sure about this?”

Sooyoung: “Yeah…at least maknae should talk to Yonghwa before she made any statement to the public…come on…it’s maknae we’re talking about here…if she doesn’t say sorry to Yonghwa today she will not be able to have a good sleep.”

Taeyeon: “Fine do whatever you want; I am not a part of this.”

Seohyun: “Unnie….”

Taeyeon: “You are a mature woman maknae…I can’t tell you what to do…”

Sooyoung: “Okay now…I will distract the manager unnie by pretending that I want to talk with someone from SM about this…in the meanwhile Hyo and maknae should make their way to the car and get to the hospital quickly.”

Taeyeon: “What if there are our other managers down there?”

Sooyoung: “Unlikely since that unnie come quite quick after we called her, I’m sure the others are going to the other members and to the agency as well.”

Hyoyeon: “Come on; let’s do this already while she is still on the phone.”

Sooyoung: “Okay…say hi to Yonghwa oppa to me maknae…I hope he’s alright.”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie…thanks you all….I’m sorry to cause you trouble like this.”

Taeyeon: “I don’t really like this idea but I know you will do it anyway even If I say not to you…just be careful with your statement if you are going to make one okay? Make sure that our manager has caught up with you before you present yourself to the media, good luck.”

Seohyun: “Thank you Taeyeon, Sooyoung unnie.”

Hyoyeon: “Go go go! Come on!”

Hyoyeon and Seohyun quickly make their way toward Hyoyeon’s car while Sooyoung is distracting SNSD’s manager on the phone. Taeyeon grab her mobile phone out and she is contacting Yoona, probably the only other member of SNSD that really worried about Seohyun’s run of bad luck on the past week or so. She goes one step further after ending her phone call with Yoona, she goes toward her room and she search her diary but it seems that Seohyun brings it in her handbag. She hates to invade her privacy but at the same time, she thought that her diary might explain what is happening with Seohyun. Now Hyoyeon and Seohyun are in the room with Yonghwa where the other CN Blue members and their manager wait outside the room.

There is a bandage wrapped around Yonghwa’s head and he seems to be quite fatigued. Seohyun looked really worried with him,

Seohyun: “Oppa, you’re alright?”

Yonghwa: “This is nothing Hyun, you don’t have to worry. I have a few stitches on the back of my head but it doesn’t really hurt that much.”

Hyoyeon: “Well…judging from the way you talk it seems that you’re alright.”

Yonghwa: “Yeah and maybe because I eat some painkillers too, hehe. You two don’t have to come here just to check up on me…”

Seohyun: “I…I…I want to apologize that you have to suffer this. This happened because of me…because the rumor that you are dating me…I’m sorry…”

Yonghwa: “Don’t…please don’t apologize. This is not your fault and you don’t have to think that someone did this because of that stupid rumor. I’m just being unfortunate that’s all, nothing more to that.”

Seohyun: “But….”

Yonghwa: “I’m saying this to you because I don’t want you to have a negative view about our fans…I don’t want you to think that because of this rumor, you will think that either CN Blue’s fans or SNSD fans attacked me because they dissatisfied…don’t.”

Seohyun: “But what if that is true oppa?”

Yonghwa: “Then let’s just say I am just having a bad day. If I am really dating you now, then this will become a problem…maybe someone will do something to you too if that is the case…but we are not dating, people just reacted badly in a spontaneous way. We have to understand their way of thinking too. So you have nothing to apologize for and don’t show me that worried look in your face…I’m fine…you are in the middle of your promotion, you shouldn’t be here at night just to worry about me.”

Seohyun: “But oppa…”

Yonghwa: “Listen to me…you have to let this go…I am fine and this is not your fault. Knowing your personality, I know that you are not happy when I am telling you this. But I just want to tell you this…I know that you have suffered few incidents and all of them are involving your fans. I just hope that you love them like you always are. Never resent them for whatever they did to make you upset or disappointed. They are humans too like us, we can make mistakes and so are they. I am going to make a statement tomorrow morning to deny our relationship and even though this might be a bother to you…I think it is better for you to walk out of this hospital through the front entrance and you will make a statement to deny our relationship. Don’t be afraid or worried….you two are here as my friends, visiting me in the hospital because I suffered an injury, that is normal, nothing extraordinary here. Do you think you can do that for me Hyun?”

Seohyun: “Ah…I…I don’t know….”

Hyoyeon: “Maknae…just…do as he says…Yong choding…I always thought you just like to play around, show your choding side to everyone and smile all the time…but once you are serious…damn…you really entranced me with your words. Come on maknae…we better leave him to get some more rest…”

Seohyun: “But unnie…I...I don’t know what I am supposed to do now…”

Hyoyeon: “Didn’t he just tell you? Come on maknae…let’s wait for our manager and we will go out the front entrance…”

Yonghwa: “Go Seohyun….I am fine…I’ll see you in the music show soon…okay?”

Seohyun: “Ah okay…..get well soon…bye….”

Yonghwa: “Bye….”

Hyoyeon: “Bye Yong Choding!”

Yonghwa: “Ah bye bye!”

They walk out of the room and after saying their goodbyes to the other CN Blue members and their manager, Hyoyeon and Seohyun meet up with their manager. Hyoyeon explains to her manager about what Seohyun is going to do and even though she agrees that Seohyun should give out a statement, she thinks it is too soon to give the statement now. Hyoyeon keep insisting on it and in the end,

Manager: “SM has given me the green light to make the statement even though they said it should be done tomorrow, I don’t think they have problem if we change it to tonight.”

Hyoyeon: “Well then…why don’t unnie contact SM again to tell them that we are making the statement now?”

Manager: “Only if Seohyun wants to do it…she needs to tell me herself.”

Hyoyeon: “Maknae?”

Seohyun just stays quiet as she doesn’t know what she should do. She is not sure whether she is ready to face the media right now quite so soon after the rumor about her and Yonghwa are dating. She is afraid that she will mess things up even more and put her and Yonghwa in much more trouble than they already are. As she is contemplating whether to do it or not, Hyoyeon stands in front of her and she holds her arms,

Hyoyeon: “Don’t be afraid…you are always the one with the strong will out of 9 of us. Just be confident…”

Seohyun: “You’re right…okay unnie…I’m doing the statement now…can you please ask for confirmation from the company?”

Manager: “Fine…I’ll contact them.”

So their manager manage to give her the green light to make a statement in front of the media tonight and they are heading toward the front entrance where the flashing lights from the camera and a lot of camera are already standing by. These people are getting even more excited as they see Seohyun and Hyoyeon walking toward the front entrance of the hospital. Once they make it out to the front entrance, hundreds of questions soon thrown at them but the other SNSD managers who already arrived to the hospital calm these people down as they told them that Seohyun is making a statement to address the rumor. Once the crowd is quiet, Seohyun clears and then she is facing one of the cameras in front for her as she is giving out her statement,

Seohyun: “I am here to address a few things that I feel should be explained before things get out of hands. First, regarding the dating news that have been circulating for the past couple hours about me and Yonghwa oppa, it is clearly wrong. I am not dating Yonghwa oppa or anyone else in that matter. I’m sure some people here have been following some of our members’ individual lives closely after the news broke that Yoona and Sooyoung unnie are dating. You can do much more extreme observing or following me around and I guarantee you will find nothing on me. As for that person who gave that interview, I dare you to come say it to my face that you have a real evidence of me dating Yonghwa oppa. You know where I will be tomorrow when I am doing my activities, why don’t you come and see my manager to seek an audience with me? I clearly want to hear what you are going to say to me personally about this. The second thing that I want to address is about my visit here to the hospital with Hyoyeon unnie. Yonghwa oppa is a friend of mine and I have the pleasure of working together with him during our time as a ‘We Got Married’ couple but that is all about it. I am here just because I am concerned with him and Hyoyeon unnie also concerned with him as well. There are nothing more to it so I would appreciate it if no more fake news being reported tomorrow because of our appearance here. Thank you and good night everyone.”

Seohyun and Hyoyeon quickly walk toward their car that has been prepared by the SNSD manager near the front entrance. Of course these journalists aren’t satisfied with Seohyun’s statement and keep asking questions to her but she isn’t answering any of it and keeps walking toward where their car is. Once they are in the car, they quickly drive away from the hospital and Seohyun quickly breathe the huge sigh of relief,

Seohyun: “Sigh……Am I doing this right Hyoyeon unnie?”

Hyoyeon: “You mean with the statement? I think you are doing it right.”

Seohyun: “I am scared that because of my strong words there will be more fake rumors of me in the next couple of days.”

Hyoyeon: “I don’t think so, rumors can be created any time and if there are any good basis to create rumors of you about dating and stuffs, they would have reported it earlier. This news program and that man is just a bad luck that you experienced in your celebrity life, don’t read too much into it. Some Medias have been following us closely just like you said in the case of Sooyoung and Yoona. If you are really not dating or seeing anyone at all they would know. You don’t have to worry.”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie…thank you for accompanying me here today.”

Hyoyeon: “No worries, you can always rely on us whenever you are in trouble okay? Don’t keep it to yourself…”

Seohyun: “…………………..yes unnie……………………….”

After that short conversation with Hyoyeon, Seohyun is thinking a lot about herself and about Yonghwa’s words. Yonghwa gave her an advice to keep being her usual self, to love the fans no matter what happen. She is always like that before but these incidents have made her thinking slightly different toward her fans, especially when Yonghwa was attacked tonight. She is starting to ask questions to herself….is she changing? Does this stalker have something to do with her change? Will she be able to love her fans like she used to without any suspicions? These are the questions that she hasn’t got the answer just yet and she is unsure how she will gain the answers to them.

Sunday, 16 March 2014, Cheonggye Plaza Fan Sign Event, 8:30 PM

Another fan signing event and Seohyun’s mind can’t concentrate on doing this fan signing event at all. Her eyes keep looking toward the crowd in the search of her stalker. She tries her best so that the fans wouldn’t know that she is looking for someone in the crowd and she doesn’t want to make herself too obvious because she knows the last time she recognized her stalker he ran away from her. So as the event goes on, her attention toward the event itself starting to fade. It is more than obvious now that she keeps looking toward every single people from the crowd to try and identify her stalker.

Yoona and Sunny who are sitting in between her notice that there is something wrong with her. Seohyun hasn’t got the chance to talk to Yoona at all because of what happened with Yonghwa. So of course Yoona starting to get worried again but this time, Seohyun isn’t going to hide anything from her,

Yoona: “What’s wrong?”

Sunny: “Yeah maknae…you are so tense right until we have this break here. You are not a good liar so it is clearly seen when you try to hide your true facial expression, your face is tense and stiff.”

Seohyun: “Sigh…I can’t tell you everything but…I am suspecting that someone in the crowd has a bad intention toward me and that same person was the one that hurt Yonghwa oppa.”

Sunny: “Who?”

Seohyun: “There is this person that I saw during our Guerilla Date filming and he is like…I don’t know…popping into my head all the time. I can’t get rid of him from my mind and I think he’s the one that gave me that gift unnie…you know…the photo album.”

Sunny: “Ah…that one?”

Yoona: “Do you think….sorry to say this…might sounds a bit creepy…do you think that this person is stalking you?”

Sunny: “Mmm….”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie…as much as I want to deny it…I think there’s someone that is stalking me and if this person is the one that attacked Yonghwa oppa…Imagine what this person would do to me.”

Sunny: “You totally should tell our managers about this.”

Seohyun: “But I have no evidence whatsoever…I want to get them something that makes them believe me that I am not imagining things or making assumptions out of nothing at all. This is why I always look at the crowd since we started this event. Once I spotted that person, I will ask one of our managers to grab that person so I can talk personally to him.”

Sunny: “But you might embarrass that person though…”

Seohyun: “I don’t care anymore unnie…this guy has distracted my life enough…I don’t want my mind to not focus on my work just because of this.”

Yoona: “I see…”

Sunny: “Okay if you say so…”

They seem to be agreeing with Seohyun’s idea but they know that it is not exactly a good idea. Not only that it can potentially trigger more aggressive behavior from the so called stalker in the future, but also it can create a bad atmosphere here during the event. Yoona at that moment realized that this person has bothered her enough for her to do something like this. She is usually trying to do things more careful, rather than approaching it straight forward aggressively like this. Yoona hates this idea but at the same time she also wants to know who this stalker is and she wonder why he has bothered Seohyun so much. She is curious what is this person done to gain this much attention from Seohyun.

Leaving all curiousness aside, both Yoona and Sunny decided to just go along with her plan and hope for the best. The event resumes and the fans starting to get up to the stage and getting autographs from the SNSD members. Seohyun is of course is really making herself more aware and she doesn’t miss a single person from her eyesight. Then…she sees someone. It is not that stalker but it is that unnie who gave her the gift before. Seohyun is absolutely sure that this unnie has some kind of relation to that stalker and she doesn’t waste anymore chance to do what she planned to do. Sunny seems to be aware that Seohyun found the person that she is looking for,

Sunny: “Maknae…don’t stand up and scream at that person…seriously…don’t.”

Seohyun: “But…”

Sunny: “It’s that unnie over there right?”

Seohyun: “Yes….”

Sunny: “I’ll give a signal to our manager oppa when she nears by and just try to talk to her normally when she is in front of you...”

Seohyun: “Okay….”

Sunny: “And please stop staring at her or she might know that something is weird.”

Seohyun: “Okay…”

She tries her best to act normal but of course she still keeps stealing glances toward that unnie. Sunny called one of the manager and briefly explain to him what they are trying to do and even though he seems to not liking the idea but this manager can’t refuse what Seohyun ask him to so he stands a little bit behind her seat waiting for that unnie to come. Several minutes later, that woman already reach Sunny and by this time Seohyun is scanning her out from head to toe and this time she doesn’t bring any gift with her. By the time she got to Seohyun, of course Seohyun tries to converse with her normally,

Seohyun: “Haeri unnie is it?”

Haeri: “Ah you remember me?”

Seohyun: “Yes…how are you?”

Haeri: “I’m fine thank you…”

Seohyun: “So listen to me unnie…I want to apologize…”

Haeri: “For what? There’s nothing that you should apologize for…”

Seohyun: “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have to do this because I really need to know.”

Haeri: “Huh?”

Seohyun: “OPPA!”

Right at that moment, the manager and two security personnel quickly grab the hold of Haeri and they escorted her toward the other area of the plaza. This caused of course a huge commotion among the fans that attended the event and especially after the event organizer quickly calls another 10 minutes break. For the time being, the event organizers and the managers of SNSD are discussing about what is happening. All the girls are escorted into another area of the plaza where they can take a breather but Seohyun and one of the managers of SNSD went off a slightly different route. She goes toward a room where Haeri and her manager along with 2 security guards are waiting for her there,

Seohyun: “Oppa…can you please take these security guards and wait for me outside?”

Manager: “But…”

Seohyun: “Please oppa…I need to talk to her alone…”

Manager: “Sigh…fine…we’ll be right outside.”

After the manager and the security guards exit the room she takes a sit across Haeri who looked really scared and worried,

Seohyun: “I hope you can forgive me unnie, but there is something that I need to talk to you.”

Haeri: “Do you have to do this? I’m scared….Why would you want to talk to me so bad that you take me away in front of those people?”

Seohyun: “I’m afraid that you will run away if you know that I am going to talk to you like this.”

Haeri: “Why would you think that way?”

Seohyun: “Because…I think you are related with someone that I am looking for…”

Haeri: “………………….”

Seohyun: “I see this person for the first time during our filming of Guerilla Date…and then during our performance at Music Core he is there as well. I believe that the gift that you gave me that day…wasn’t from you…but it is from him…I want to know who he is and I need to speak to him.”

Haeri: “…………………………..”

Seohyun: “Your silence means you know something about it….please tell me unnie…”

Haeri: “I think…you are implying…that this person…was the one that attacked Yonghwa from CN Blue last night, hence you are asking me here to find out information about him…is that correct?”

Seohyun: “But…I haven’t….”

Haeri: “I’m sorry Seohyun…but I am disappointed in you if you are thinking like that. You should know your fans well that we are not going to do something like that…you’ve changed.”

Seohyun: “But….”

Haeri: “Perhaps you shouldn’t even be thinking of seeing him if you thought that he was the one responsible for that attack.”

Seohyun: “You’re talking as if you know him well…”

Haeri: “Of course I know him well….he is my brother.”

Seohyun: “Then you can tell him to see me!”

Haeri: “Not like this….he will be disappointed to see you like this…it will break his heart. I’m sorry Seohyun…but if you keep thinking this way, I’m starting to think that all those years he spent taking pictures of you….it doesn’t worth it…”

Seohyun: “What gives you the right to talk to me that way? I haven’t done anything bad to him at all!”

Haeri: “True…but by even slightly thinking that he could be the one that attacked Yonghwa…you done something worse than hurting him physically. Sorry Seohyun…thanks for your autograph…bye.”

Seohyun: “But unnie!”

Haeri: “And don’t bother looking for him between the fans on your promotions…I don’t think he will be there anymore….bye…good luck for your promotion.”

Seohyun: “Haeri unnie!”

She leaves the room and much to Seohyun’s anger she just leaves her with more questions instead of answers. Seohyun storms out of the room about to chaser her but her manager stops her,

Manager: “Stop! What are you doing?”

Seohyun “Let me go oppa! Why are you holding me back?”

Manager: “You have a lot of explaining to do Seohyun…and you can start the explanation right now.”

Seohyun: “But oppa….”

Manager: “Now please maknae…don’t make me lose my patience seeing you with this new attitude and behavior of yours…”

Seohyun: “Sigh…fine…”

She goes back inside the room and she explains to her manager why she is acting this way. She of course doesn’t explain everything to her manager because the manager might report this back to the company and this person might just be facing legal battle from the company just to protect Seohyun. As much as she has suspicions about this stalker, she doesn’t want anything to happen to him either. She explained to her manager that she got distracted by someone on the crowd during her performance on Music Core and she thought that Haeri is somehow related to this person but she lies to her manager saying that she isn’t related at all. Of course hearing her explanation has caused some concerns for her manager but because she keeps insisting that she is fine now that she already talked with Haeri about it her manager has no choice but to let this one slide.

After Seohyun exits the room, Yoona and Taeyeon are already waiting and the two unnies bring her away from the other members because they want to talk to her first,

Yoona: “So?”

Seohyun: “That unnie is related to him somehow but she doesn’t want to tell me anything about him.”

Taeyeon: “What did she say to you?”

Seohyun: “She told me that it is better for me not to see this man because…she told me I’ve changed….because I was thinking that this man is the one that attacked Yonghwa oppa….She’s afraid that this man will be hurt knowing that I thought about him like that.”

A few seconds of silence soon followed. Yoona and Taeyeon aren’t saying anything to Seohyun but at that moment they are thinking about the same thing. They know that Haeri is saying the truth about Seohyun….about how she has changed. They know that Seohyun must be pissed off when she is being told that she’s changed because she doesn’t believe that is happening but the people around her can feel the change clearly. They don’t want to tell her that she’s changed too because they know that it will hurt her and it is actually better for her to realize this by herself rather than being told about it,

Seohyun: “Unnie, why you two are quiet like this?”

Taeyeon: “Ah sorry I was just thinking about all this…things are really weird….”

Yoona: “Seohyun…I think you should try to calm yourself down…try not to think too much about what she said to you.”

Seohyun: “But I want to see this man…I want to ask him a lot of questions….”

Taeyeon: “He will show up again…trust me…but only if you work hard as usual and doing your activities normally. I’m sure he will show up again….”

Yoona: “Yes….listen to Taeyeon unnie. You can’t let him distract you like this…”

Seohyun: “But…”

Manager: “Break is over! Get back to the stage now we’ll resume the fan signing event!”

Yoona: “We’re going to continue and Taeyeon unnie will make a short speech to tell everyone that everything is alright and we know that unnie.”

Taeyeon: “And you will smile to our fans and act normally like you used to in these events…”

Seohyun: “…………….”

Taeyeon: “Do you understand me maknae?”

Seohyun: “Yes unnie.”

Taeyeon: “Good, now let’s get out there.”

Yoona: “You’ll be just fine…”

Seohyun: “……………….”

Even though she has a heavy heart in resuming the event, she has no choice to continue on with it because she doesn’t want to create more problems with the fans that by now are confused and worried with what happened earlier. Taeyeon do a short speech and then the event resumed as normal and luckily for Seohyun, the fans today don’t suspect there’s anything wrong with her, unlike her incident during Music Core. As the night goes on, Seohyun is getting even more lost in her thoughts which will prompt her to do something that will endanger her safety.

SNSD’s Dorm, Seohyun’s Room, 9:45 PM

SEOHYUN POV

Another day gone by and instead of finding solutions and answers I end up with more mysteries. I should know better than asking that unnie questions would land me more trouble more than solving my questions. I don’t know what to do anymore and I am so stressed out right now. I keep feeling bad toward Yonghwa oppa after what happened to him. I know everyone including him ask me to leave it alone but I just can’t do that. What if this person attacked another idol next just because he is rumored to be dating me? I feel like because of me, I am endangering someone else’s safety. Everyone is in their own rooms now, I can’t just stay still like this, I have to get out, keeping my mind fresh, hopefully forgetting about all this…even though impossible.

I grab my coat, my beanie and I put on eyeglasses. I look in the mirror and I think no one will recognize me when I dressed up like this now I need to check whether there is my manager out in the living room. I open the door and I peek outside the room and I see on the corner of my eyes that our manager unnie fallen asleep on the sofa in our living room. I check the room once again but I can’t see anyone else out there, this is the perfect chance for me to make my escape. I tiptoe my way out of the dorm and as I head downstairs, I give two pieces of kimbap to the security oppa in the lobby. They let me go without telling anyone else, this is some tricks that we always did to sneak out of the dorm without risking the people in the building will tell our manager where we were going.

Once I am outside the dorm, I quickly make my way toward the 24 hours coffee shop located near our dorm. We’ve been going there often and the owners never make a big deal each time we visited the place to avoid any attraction from other people in the coffee shop. After I place my order, I sit on the corner of the coffee shop and within 2 minutes, my hot drink is already served to my table. I take out my diary from my bag and after taking a sip of my drink; I grab my pen and start writing another entry on my diary,

Entry Number 3

15^th of March 2014

This is Seohyun and this is my 3^rd entry since we began our promotion. I tried to get some answers from Haeri unnie today because I thought that she can help me to shed some lights in terms of that stalker. I was right…she is actually her brother but she refused to tell me anything at all because I suspected her brother of attacking Yonghwa but…who else could it be? I mean…hitting someone with rock…something like that happened also during our previous fan signing event so….who else can I suspect of this attack? Is Haeri unnie just defending her brother or I am the one who in the wrong here?

I never imagine that one person would bother me this much. I never expected that he would be interfering with my life like this. Do I hate him? I am…not because I have feelings for Yonghwa oppa and it pissed me off that he hurt him…but I hate that he has to do that to Yonghwa oppa….but…did he really do it? Or is it just me that thinking like that? Am I really changing? Is this stalker becoming the excuse of my change in attitude and way of thinking?

I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore but I do believe that once I find this guy, I think I will get the answers. Do I have feelings for him? At the moment, of course not. How can I even have feelings for someone that I didn’t even know his identity or what he likes or what he is doing for work or any other things that women usually look up to in men when they are starting to have feelings for them?

I am so messed up…I never been this frustrated with myself. I am disappointed with myself, with how I am behaving and I think it starts to affect others as well. I can see Taeyeon and Yoona unnie tried so hard to calm me down and hoping that I will not let this stalker affecting my life and my work especially. Because of me…because what I asked what our manager oppa did with that unnie, I scared our fans. They all are confused and scared because of me and all this time, they have been supporting us through good and bad times. I am repaying them with this kind of attitude….I am really…sad.

Should I just let this man disappear from my life just like that? Should I shut off these curiousness and these mysteries and lock it deep inside my heart and never bother with it again? I always thought keeping problems and not solving it is a bad thing to do but I am starting to think that trying to solve it is also a bad thing to do. I feel bad with myself, my other members, my managers, Yonghwa oppa and of course with the fans.

I should never even let this one guy change my life so much like this. I know I am the youngest one in the group, but some of my unnies like to ask me for advice and guidance…I am not trying to boast here but I remember what Hyoyeon unnie said to me yesterday. She said that I am always the strong one…but now I am crumbling like this just because of a man. I hope that by writing this diary I would get a reply to all these questions that I wrote down but of course I am not living in a fantasy land where I am the main character of a fairy tale story.

Whatever it is that I am going to decide regarding this problem, I have to do it fast. I don’t want the other members start to worrying about me and it might result in interfering with their activities as well. Especially to Taeyeon and Yoona unnie. Those two are the ones that worried about me the most and it makes me sad and angry thinking that I have burdening the unnies that I love so much with this.

Dear diary…I hope that I would get the answer to everything soon…help me…I…need….help….

Will someone help me?

Wow…this is actually quite a depressing entry on my diary…probably one of the most depressing one. I close my diary and I put it back in my handbag as I drink this hot chocolate in front of me. I look at the people wandering around in the street in this coldness. Some of them have their own story, some of them have their own problems, and I wonder whether they are struggling as I am in solving their problems. It’s getting late already I probably should go home now. If I am caught wandering outside the dorm by our manager, I will get an intense scolding from them. I make my way out of the coffee shop and the weather is really cold today. I walk around the street and there are still a lot of stores open this late. There are some cute phone accessories too; it has been a while since I have a relaxed time like this.

Then I heard someone fall on the street not too far from where I am. He dropped his belongings on the street and there is no one else helping him. How can people just stand there doing nothing when they are seeing someone needed help like this? I approach this man and I pick up some of his books and files that are dropped on the floor,

Seohyun: “Here you go oppa….”

Man: “Thank you…Seo…”

Seohyun: “Ah?”

Right at that moment this oppa grab my arms tightly and I can feel a sharp object against my stomach. Oh my God….what is happening here? Why no one else see what he is doing to me? I am scared….

Man: “Seohyun…don’t you dare running away from me…not only that I will scream your name in the public…you might just get hurt by this knife here…”

Seohyun: “Oh God…oh God…why…why…why are you doing this to me? What…what….what did I do?”

Man: “Oh you have done nothing wrong my dear Seohyun…your crime is only being too beautiful…and too innocent that makes me want to have you even more…”

Seohyun: “Please oppa…let me go…please…I beg of you…I’ll give you anything you want…”

Man: “Letting you go? I’m sorry but that is not the case….but giving me anything that I want? You will do just that…come with me!”

Seohyun: “AH, HE….”

Man: “If you scream for help then this little pocket knife will stab you in the stomach and you can say goodbye to your precious SNSD career….”

Seohyun: “Ah….please oppa….just let me go… (starts crying)…please…please….”

Man: “Come with me! Do as I say and you shall get no harm…at least for now…”

Seohyun: “Please don’t…I beg you….pleaseeee…..”

Man: “Come!”

I am so scared right now but I have no choice but to follow him. I can actually see the knife pocket that he is holding and I don’t think it will be wise for me to defy him. But I don’t know what this oppa wants….is he…the stalker? Is he going to attack me now because he is upset at me? Is he upset because of what I did to his sister, Haeri unnie? Does he want something else from me? Don’t tell me that…oh no…is he going to… me? Is he going to hurt me? Oh God…please….somebody…anybody…help me….

AUTHOR POV

Because she is threatened by this man, Seohyun has no choice but to follow him to the nearest alley beside the store that sells the phone accessories. There are still some people wandering around the street but this alley is so dark and stink, no one would even give a bother even if there is anything happen in this alley. This man toss Seohyun toward the ground and at that moment she finally recognized who this man is,

Seohyun: “You….you are that oppa…the staff from the broadcasting station….and also…ah….you are that oppa that got hit by a rock during the fan signing….”

Man: “Oh now you remember me? That hurts you know…oh and by the way my name is Seunghun…”

Seohyun: “Seunghun oppa…please let me go…aren’t you my fan? Why are you doing this?”

Seunghun: “Your fan? That is true…but….I am more than a fan…I am a fan that love you so much…that I can’t let you owned by somebody else….I hope Yonghwa get the idea that he is not supposed to be that close with you again after you two end your WGM…”

Seohyun: “What do you…you….you are the one that attacked Yonghwa oppa?”

Seunghun: “Oh yes I am…and I am also the one that spread that rumor of course…of you two dating….”

Seohyun: “But….why…why did you do that?”

Seunghun: “Of course I have to spread that rumor in order for me to give a lesson to him. People would think that he is attacked because of that rumor…not because someone has some personal agenda against him….”

Seohyun: “Why would you even hate him? He doesn’t do anything wrong to you….”

Seunghun: “When you two are talking to each other during Music Core…I can see that you have some sort of chemistry…I can’t let you falling for him…I can’t let you like him….I can’t let you fall in love to any other man but me….hahahahahaha!”

Seohyun: “You….you are crazy oppa!”

Seunghun: “Oh I am not crazy….but soon I will make you go crazy for me…I will make you not looking so innocent anymore my dear Seohyun….”

Seohyun: “Oppa…pleaseee….let me goo….”

Seunghun: “Of course…We will let you go after I am done with you….”

Seohyun: “We?”

Seunghun: “Oh yes…In a moment here…my friend will come with a car through that other end of the alley…and we will bring you to my home…where we will teach you how to have fun so that you don’t know that brat Yonghwa anymore…hahahahaha!”

Seohyun: “Please don’t oppa…don’t do this to me….”

Seunghun: “Why? Tell me a reason why I shouldn’t do this with you? You’re beautiful…you are growing up to be one hot woman….no guy in this world that doesn’t desire you…come on Seohyun…the maknae of SNSD….the pure innocent gets to finally taste how does it feel to be embraced by a real men like me….you will have the time of your life…”

Seohyun: “Please….please….I beg of you…I will give you anything that you want…I will do anything you want…just don’t do it…please…..”

Seunghun: “It’s no use….I don’t want your money or anything else from you…I just want your body….hahahahaha….no bother arguing with me…ah…I hear a car…it must be my friend….are you ready? Hehehehe…..”

Seohyun: “Please….please…SOMEONE HELP MEEE!!!”

But then a loud voice, like a metal hit against a solid object can be heard throughout the alley. Seunghun quickly look at the direction of where the car is supposed to be. Seohyun sees that he is getting distracted and uses this chance to get on her feet as quick as she can to escape from this dark alley. It is unfortunate that she isn’t quick enough that Seunghun manages to trip Seohyun by her legs and she falls down and her head banged against an object in alley and her head is hurt. She feels dizzy and her vision is blurred,

Seunghun: “Stupid girl trying to run…you stay here while…wait…wait….who are you?”

Seohyun couldn’t see it clearly but she sees two people are fighting with each other. The fight takes quite some time before finally one of them ran out of the alley in fear while screaming. Seohyun can’t see the man left on the alley clearly and the pain on her head is getting worse. She is holding her head and she doesn’t know whether it is Seunghun or the other person that was fighting against him that is walking approaching her right now. As the pain getting worse, she starts getting weak and just before she passed out, the last thing she sees is that this person extends her hand to her and say,

Unknown: “Don’t worry Seohyun….you’ll be safe with me…I will always protect you…forever…”

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Only two more chapters to go...unless you guys want me to add another chapter to make it a 6 chapters story then I can do it....the next chapter will contain interaction between Seohyun and her stalker and the real nature of the stalker will be partially revealed.

I hope you enjoy reading this chapter...thanks!