I tossed my key to the valet and strode towards the restaurant, feeling oddly giddy I ruffled my hand through my hair yet again and settled my cap on backwards casually but meticulously, glancing at the windows to check my reflection. I took off my sunglasses, rolled my shoulders back, and stepped into the restaurant to where Chaerin and Soohyuk was waiting for me. I was then immediately greeted by the host who pleasantly escorted me to the VIP room in the back, and before even opening the door, I heard Chaerin's laugh...

"And then the director looked like he saw a ghost!" Her voice chimed, followed by some comical smacks on the table.

"'C--CL nim!'" Soohyuk's voice seemed to be imitating someone very nervous, and more of Chaerin's laughter followed. "you totally scared the poor man!"

"Well, I only wanted to know what was going on." Chaerin sounded like she was pouting, not being to stand anymore of this, I twisted the door open.

"Wassup!?"

"Ah, Jiyong's here!" Soohyuk smiled brilliantly as always and stood up to give me a pat on the arm.

"Jiyong oppa!" Chaerin's eyes lit up, the effect was like giving my ego steroids. "Got your coffee," She gestured at a take-out bag by the door and got up to give me a friendly hug, I took the opportunity to breathe in her scent, warm and luring as always. "hope it stays fresh, for you'll need it for writing our song." She winked, my heart lurked.

"Our song?" Soohyuk asked as he sat back down to his seat, and judging by the stuff by the bench across from him, Chaerin was sitting there. Stealing a breath of relief, I sat down next to Soohyuk, also across from Chaerin (as not to be too aggressive), glad that they weren't sitting together.

"I asked Jiyong oppa to write a song for the 2NE1 album." Chaerin also sat down and moved the utensils to where I'm sitting, I then realized she was wearing short shorts... I immediately regret my decision to not sit next to her. (no, bad Jiyong!)

"Ah I see, how's it coming along?" Soohyuk handed me the menu and swung his arm around to rest on the back of his chair with a curious smile on his face, looking lengthy and graceful as freaking usual.

"Like constipation." I answer, and before I can even glance at the menu, a rolled up piece of napkin was launched at me. Score. I thought with a grin.

"How dare you speak of a song for the 2NE1 like that!?" Chaerin almost yelled at me, throwing up a tiny fist in front of my face. "You better be serious about it and make a darn good song, or I'm going to be very dangerous." She narrowed her eyes at me, looking more adorable than anything remotely resembling dangerous.

"Alright, sure." I smile and shrugged nonchalantly, earning another growl from her. I really must be sick-- I love seeing her pissed.

"Okay, save the bickering for later, I'm starving." Soohyuk threw up his hands and laughed. "Jiyong, you know what you're gonna order?" He looked at me without a hint of jealousy or rivalry in his large eyes, I was again guilty and annoyed at this dude's damned perfect demeanor.

"Yeah." I hit the server call button. "Chaerin?"

"I'm too tired to even think! I'll eat whatever you guys order." She shrugged and began tying her long locks into a ponytail.

"What would you like to order?" Very quickly, the waiter shows up, a clean cut guy who begins staring at Chaerin the moment he walked in. I coughed loudly to bring his attention back to me, he reluctantly looked back to me with a hint of embarrassment.

"I'll have some samgyeopsal, bulgogi, and some marinated pork belly. Oh and some beer." I read from the menu and leaned back to let Soohyuk order.

"Hello sir, I'll get an order of smoked steak, beef tongue, pork shoulder, and the seafood platter with no shrimps and extra clams." Soohyuk ordered with his usual mannered suave without even looking at the menu, and I realized that Chaerin was staring at him with some sort of wonder in her eyes, I feel myself frown. "As for beverages, fresh tomato juice with sparkling water for the lady, and a cup of iced water will be fine for me. Thank you very much." Soohyuk finished with his signature gentlemanly smile on his face, I was sure even the waiter was dazzled by him, for he nodded with wide eyes and rushed out without taking another glance at Chaerin.

"Oppa, how did you know?!" Chaerin grinned at Soohyuk, looking pleasantly surprised. I furrowed my eyebrows, know what?

"Like you said, I'm manager-material. Remembering details are my thing." Soohyuk chuckled and stretched out proudly.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask finally, exasperated.

"Well," Chaerin flushed, looking embarrassed. "Soohyuk oppa just ordered all my favorite dishes. I never told him about it either."

Momentarily speechless with this blow of defeat, I think I just sat there with my mouth open, I then quickly closed my mouth, but couldn't think of anything clever to say, I only knew vaguely of which type of food or restaurant Chaerin liked, but never the precise order, let alone what she liked to drink. Then I suddenly remember...

"But you always drank beer with me!" I suddenly blurted out. Feeling childish, I quickly added jokingly; "What's with the ladylike front with this tomoato juice thing? Is it 'cause Soohyuk's here?" I laugh and wrap my arm around Soohyuk's wide shoulders, I feel him chuckle, I secretly breathe a sigh of relief, at least it wasn't awkward.

"That's because oppa always drink too much!" Chaerin laughed, her eyes squinting into butterfly-inducing half moons. "So I had to drink it to prevent you from drinking all of them!" She complained with a perfect roll of the eyes.

"Plus, Chaerin has an Inkigayo performance tomorrow," Soohyuk turned to me, and when I furrowed my eyebrows to express my confusion, he smiled and continued. "She drinks tomato juice before recordings, since it helps with reducing swelling." I look to Chaerin, she merely nodded in amazement at Soohyuk. Challenged, I continue to poke on.

"Heol, how come you know so much about Chaerin? What about me?!" I shake him, a little more harshly than usual.

"You always order samgyupsal, bulgogi, marinated pork belly, and beer, or some cocktail you fancy at the time." Soohyuk chuckled and recited without a hint of hesitation.

"Not fair, he just ordered those things!" Chaerin interrupted, with interest brightly lit in her eyes. "You'll have to say something else, like what he orders at a sushi restaurant or something."

"Is this some kind of game now?" Soohyuk laughed, "Yellowtail sushi, rainow roll, tamago, and of course soju." He named the dishes without difficulty. "And as for you Chaerin, salmon sushi, philadelphia roll, and the occasional calpico cocktail." He finished with his two hands slightly raised and proudly open.

"No way!" Applause erupted from Chaerin's hands, "did he get yours right, oppa?" She looked to me with such excitement, that I had to tell the truth.

"Yep, nothin amiss." I shrug and laid my hands out, letting my eyes leave Chaerin's awed look at Soohyuk. Just then the waiter comes in with our orders and begins to lay out the dishes.

"Oppa, I'm now seriously considering to hire you as our manager." Chaerin said with a dazzling grin as she sipped on her tomato juice.

"I'm very expensive." Soohyuk chuckled with his low voice, always so naturally attractive, this guy, I thought with a grimace.

"What do you think, Jiyong oppa?" Chaerin turned her attention to me, probably due to my lack of input. Always so considerate, my Chae. "Don't you think Soohyuk oppa has a knack for this?" She gestured to Soohyuk, who was currently busy grilling our meat for us.

"It's too much of a waste for Soohyuk!" I laugh, and it was an honest answer. Seeing Soohyuk's perfectly pale and lengthy fingers wrapping around the grilling tongs like that, it was just such a wrong picture. "Give me that," I take his tongs from him. "Chae-ah, I'm not sure if you haven't noticed, but Soohyuk is kind of really intensely good looking."

"Oooh really? I couldn't tell!" Chaerin rolled her eyes sarcastically, I smile at her wit. "And oppa, you should give that back to Soohyuk oppa, you're burning the meat." She grinned at the browning meat that I was tending to.

"Hey, I like it crispy, okay?" Though I protest, I give the tongs back to Soohyuk, who immediately saves the overly brown meat.

"Speaking of intensely good looking, you should look at some of Chaerin's photos today." Soohyuk mentioned to me as he expertly begins to serve the sizzling pieces of meat to our plates, looking like a greek god acting as a professional waiter, I secretly wish I had more experience with barbequeing instead of just making Seungri do it when we go out to eat.

"Oh?" I raised one eybrow.

"Here are the ones they sent for me to select for the magazine," Chaerin smiled and handed me her phone while looking at me in the eye, with an eager light in her eyes. "Oppa, tell me which ones you like better, I can't decide. I'll take the one you choose as the cover shot." She smiled at me again, so brilliantly that I was momentarily blinded, then I felt Soohyuk suddenly tense beside me.

"Alright then, when it comes to fashion, I'm your guy." I rubbed my hands together and took her phone, slightly proud that she was letting me choose, and happy that I could finally exercise my field of expertise. I begin swiping through the pictures, and I almost couldn't breathe.

She looked like a goddess in every single one of them.

One with her in a field of flowers, smiling meekly at the camera, her hair tousled in the wind, though I knew both the lighting and the set were all artificial, I wanted to take this girl looking at me to a garden, and just watch her smile all day. Another one of her lying on the ground with closed eyes and fallen feathers, the beauty and sorrow conveyed was so piercing, I almost winced. Another one with her staring into the camera with fierce makeup and roughed up hair, so formidable and with the charisma fit for a queen... Then just when I was about the voice my opinion, I swiped to a picture, and I froze---

Soohyuk was in there.

They were wearing matching costumes, and Soohyuk's arm was around Chaerin's waist, his leg between hers, leaning her backwards on some sort of balcony, Chaerin's hands were on his chest, his face no further than an inch away from hers... But it was their eyes that got me...

As expected, Soohyuk's sullen deep set eyes gleamed with desire and caution, a look that I know all too well, but this emotion burnt even through his professionalism and showed itself so blatantly on his perfectly sculpted face. Yet his eyebrows were raised in shock, staring at Chaerin...

Her eyes weren't like anything I've ever seen them do before.

The pupils were dialated, yes, even in the screen of the phone, I could see the elation in them. Her eyebrows also raised high in surprise, but furrowed with confusion, as if she didn't know what to think of the man in front of her. pressed into an uncomfrotable thin line, as if trying to hold back something... And that glint of, god knows what it was, desire, excitement, bewilderment, who the hell knows, there in the picture, she stared so absolutely at Soohyuk, as if he was the only thing in her world.

"Soohyuk participated in the shoot?" I asked no one in particular, not even bothering to lift my face up.

"Yeah, the model originally planned as my opposite had an accident and couldn't make it, so Soohyuk oppa stepped in." Chaerin replied matter of factly, I hear her chopsticks clink on the side of her bowl, eating as if nothing's wrong.

"It was the director's idea." Soohyuk's voice was so low that only I could hear it, and it was so laddened with guilt... He wasn't even trying to defend himself with the excuse, he was honestly sorry. "I didn't know they would send those to be part of the selections..." He nearly whispered as I lifted my face to see him.

His dark eyebrows were downturned as if he was in pain, his lips tight and his eyes darkened with his sorrow mood. He looked like a kid admitting his betrayal. And for some reason that really, really pissed me off. Who did he think he is? I don't need him to feel sorry, it's all fair competition, if I were in that situation, I'd do more than just wrap my arm around her-- I-- I don't need this loyalty crap!

"Oppa?" Chaerin's voice broke through my thoughts and turned us both to face her. "Do you like the one with both of us in it?" She asked innocently, completely unaware of our silent conversation.

"It's nice." I managed to squeak out. To my demise, Chaerin's face lit up.

"I personally liked that one best!" She exclaimed as she looked over to see the screen of her phone and clapped her hands together, with a dreamy smile on her lips. "Soohyuk oppa is very---" She seemed to want to say a compliment, but as she moved her gaze to Soohyuk, she suddenly became mute, and then...

She blushed.

I stare at her with disbelief, the moment she met eyes with Soohyuk, her face flushed and she looked down as if she was caught doing something embarassing. Unconsciously biting her lips even. I whipped my head around to look at Soohyuk-- all previous expression of guilt and sorrow was gone, replacing in his eyes with a proud and fascinated glint, and a beaming smile on his face.

I'm sitting right here. I worked my off on your song. I was the one you called when you were scared. And I was the one who knew her first, Soohyuk you bastard. Now while I was fretting over your song, and getting all nervous and giddy for our dinner tonight, you guys were hugging each other at some photoshoot?! Soohyuk you're not even supposed to be there! And now you're here, staring at each other like some.... COUPLE?! ING OUTRAGEOUS.

Then I lost it.

" this." I declared and threw the phone on the table, clattering the dishes.

"Oppa, what--" I stood up before she even had a chance to say anything.

"Jiyong!" I was already out the door when his worried voice traveled out of the room.

If I stayed in there any longer, I just might bawl. If I see Soohyuk looking at me one more time with those sad eyes, I just might punch him. If I hear Chaerin say another word with that voice of hers, I just might grab her and...

"Damn it." I punched the wall.

"Jiyong oppa!" I hear her voice calling my name, the sound of redemptation and doom altogether. Without meaning to, my head automatically turned around to look at her, so accustomed to replying to her every call. 

She was right there in the crowds of people, with her golden hair in a disarray, her face so scrunched up with worry, and there seemed to be tears swimming in her eyes. It seemed as if I was always the one making her upset, even as I was trying to get away from her... I felt my nose tighten and some wetness streaming down my cheeks, I quickly turned away again.

I don't have the right to do anything. Because here I am, running away again.

Like the coward I always am.

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The look on Jiyong oppa's face was so wrong. It was as if someone had taken his face and messed it up with something fierce, screwing it up with anger and torture. I hated it. I didn't like it there at all. But it was me he was staring at with that expression. It was me he was staring at with such hurt and vengence.

"Oppa." I felt my legs stand up and my body began to move by itself. "Jiyong oppa!"

I ran out the VIP dining room, shouting his name. stumbling at the slightly raised door frame, I glanced up to see him turning his head back at me, just as I was going to call out to him to stop, tears fell down his face... And he dashed out of the restaurant.

Why? Why are you crying? What happened? What did I do wrong? Where are you going? What's happening?

All these questions ran through my head, I bite my lips to keep myself from crying as well, and I ran after him.

"Jiyong oppa!" He was too fast, I suddenly felt ironically jealous of his long legs. "KWON JIYONG!" I yelled urgently as he turned a corner.

"You son of a--" I pushed with all my might to run after him, swearing to myself not to lose him. I don't know what happened, but I know it was something that I had done, and I wasn't about to just let my Jiyong oppa run away like that. Tears don't suit his face. He should always be smiling... I don't know what I've done to make you be this way, but if you would just slow down....!

"You're G-Dragon!" A surprised high pitched female voice exclaimed and made me halt to a stop. I turn around in hopes of seeing where he's gone after he's turned that corner. I turn to be faced with a darkly lit bar, and I immediately saw the owner of the high pitched voice. It was a woman in a short leopard dress, high heels, long luscious hair, and the whole shebang, she was wrapped in some man's arms, who was fervently kissing her neck.

"Sorry, miss. Where did you see him---" I stopped mid sentence, the man looked up at me.

It was Jiyong oppa.

He was staring at me like I'm some stranger, and he continued with his business of making out with the woman.

"You're CL!" The woman, despite Jiyong oppa's relentless harassment, found a gap to squeak out my name, only to be immediately smothered by Jiyong oppa's mouth again.

All the rage was firing up in me. Seeing him so emotionless and determined to be, apparently, this woman, I was wrecked with emotions. Furious, I stomped over to them and pulled him away.

"What in the world are you thinking? Are you crazy?!" I glared and hissed at him, digging my nails into his forearm.

"I'm perfectly fine," His eyes were cold as stones, no trace of his earlier pained expression. But this new emptiness pierced my heart even more. "It got a little boring at our dinner, so I came out to have some fun." He smiled with frozen acidity.

"Do you even know this woman?" I shook my head, I won't be deterred so easily.

"She knows me!" He grinned a smile that looked very wrong on his face. "Now let go of me." He then easily shook his arm away from me, reminding me of his masculinity. I suddenly felt helpless, but I pressed on anyway.

"Oppa, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to stop. Come with me." I push my hair back, this time more determined to make my point across, I grab his arm again, this time with both my hands.

"No, you need to stop." He looked back at me, now with fury in his eyes. "I don't owe you anything, you don't get to order me around." He shook me again, but this time with no prevail, I was prepared to hold out until he calms down.

"Oppa, you know you're not like this, I know you're not like this." I meant to say those words with authority, but they came out all shakily.

"LET GO OF ME." He roared, and I suddenly found myself on the ground. I looked up, realizing that he had shoved me so hard, I had fallen at least two feet away from him. His back was turned to me and his shoulders heaved a heavy sigh. "Lee Chaerin, you know nothing about me.

"All these years, you call me oppa oppa, and so what? Did you really think I was your oppa?! I was only nice to you because YG told me to, also you seemed to be a celebrity magnet with that broken- Asian chick English of yours. If I hung out with you, I got to meet all these famous people, and I don't even have to say a single word! Isn't it such a chore to socialize? But not to you, you attention !" He spat.

"Oppa, I--"

"DON'T ING CALL ME THAT!" He swore, "I AM NOT SOME OPPA OF YOURS!" He then breathed deeply, as if trying to calm down. And after closing his eyes for a brief moment, he squatted down next to me...

"Please, you don't mean this..." I blurted out.

"Shhh, I don't want to hear your voice." He said with sarcastic politeness. "I was fine with it at first, I was fine with your tasteless seductions and low end flirtations. It's only normal with a newcomer such as you. But then you started hooking your nails in my friends. How disgusting. Soohyuk, he's too good for you. So don't waste your time on me, go back to him. Maybe HE will buy into your schemes, and perhaps you'd be a good lesson to him, to stop being such a goody two-shoes." He smirked, I tasted blood from inside my mouth from biting my tongue to keep myself from crying. "So go ahead, run back to him. Because crazy es aren't good for me. I am G-Dragon, you know." He then got up and scooped his arm around the woman again, smacking her , and walked into the bar.

I sat there stunned. Shocked by everything he said. But before I could even process it, a familiar voice sounded.

"Chaerin."

I looked around to see Soohyuk walking toward me, panting while holding all of our stuff, but dropping them as he rushed over to pick me up. I had totally forgotten about him, nor our jackets and wallets. Leave it to him to remember.

"Oppa, I... Jiyong oppa he..." I tried to explain what had happened, but the earth was shaking under me.

"Shhh... It's okay, I know. I saw." Soohyuk oppa's voice trembled slightly, worry and pain tainted his husky voice, and he picked me up with one long arm wrapped around my waist. The earth suddenly stopped shaking, then I realized it was I who was shaking, and was held still again due to the solidity of Soohyuk oppa. "Let's get out of here, do you want me to carry you?"

In such contrast to Jiyong oppa, Soohyuk oppa's voice was so steady, so calming, and so gentle. His words so kind and genuine, his hand around me ever so tender-- The image of Jiyong oppa's arm wrapped around that woman's wais suddenly pops out, and I wince with pain.

"I'm so sorry." Soohyuk oppa's voice breaks. I looked up at him, only to see a drop of crystal clear tear fall so gallantly down his his long eyelashes. His dark brows turned down so apologetically, and his eyes, swimming with tears, so sad but so lovingly staring at me.

"Why are you crying?" I couldn't help but ask, feeling a bit dazed with all this confusion.

"Because you didn't deserve that." He whispered, and he gently my hair.

Without meaning to, all of my surpressed tears spilled out in reaction to this man, so considerate and kind...

"Oppa, he... he said..." I began sobbing uncontrollably.

"I know." Soohyuk oppa didn't try to shush me, neither did he try to stop me from my sobs, he simply brushed my tears away, one by one, with his long fingers. And just kept saying, "I know."

I am overwhelmed by this man. Yet once again.

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I see them. Outside of this window. On this abandoned street. At least there aren't any paparazzis around, I thought quietly. Then I slapped myself across the face, disgusted with myself.

What have I done?

What did you just say to her?

Are you ing out of your mind, Kwon Ji Yong?

I swallow and turn away from the window. I just couldn't stand it. I couldn't give her what she deserved. Even at the slightest reactions, I go insane. I couldn't even stand a single little interaction of her with Soohyuk. I am just not worthy. I can't. I can't bring myself to give myself up to her, I thought I would do anything for her... But I didn't anticipate giving up my ego as one of the things required for love...

Who am I kidding? Do I even know what love is? You sick bastard, who the says those things to a girl he loves?

My Chae-ah... I'm so sorry... Maybe... It's not too late, I can blame it on the stress. My Chaerin, I'm so sorry, I can try harder, just let me apologize--

"Chae-ah!" I said out loud and turned back around to open the window--- then I saw it.

The girl of my dreams, wrapped in his arms, crying like something's ravaged her heart.

I was the one that did it.

She was the one suffering my sins.

And he was the one holding her through it.

I see him holding onto her quietly, his arm barely intrusive, only holding onto her with enough intimacy to keep her standing. I see his hands, ever so gently wiping away her tears, but never lingering on her face longer than needed. And his eyes, so filled with kindness and love... And her, crying with such abashed intensity, like I've never seen her do before... I almost hurled.

I wanted to vomit at my cowardice. At my stupid crimes. I wanted to puke out myself. This disgusting, loathesome self.

He is so obviously better for her. And I am so obviously so defective for her.

"You okay?" I hear the voice of the random woman I've dragged upstairs.

I turn around to see this stranger, and I closed my eyes, and tried to imagine it was Chaerin in front of me. And I pulled her into my arms. Hoping this imagined Chaerin would at least temporarily cure this hole of a man that I am. And that I, too could be like Soohyuk, holding my dearest girl in my arms.

I'm so sorry, my good girl. I'm just such a bad man.

"No I'm not okay." I reply to the smiling Chaerin in my mind, and I plunged into the darkness of myself and my wretchedness.

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WOW. THIS ONE TOOK FOREVER TO FINISH. Sorry about the downer :(

It took me about 2 months to write this chapter... I must apologize. But I do have legitimate excuses!

One, it was because I've been so busy with school. Two, it's because this chapter is such a turning point in the story! I had to wrap my head around just exactly how to portray the frustration of Jiyong, and just how different Soohyuk and Jiyong are...

But ugh. I really disliked writing this chapter, I hated writing Jiyong like this... BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE! Just a tiny mention, I write in a way where I basically lay out the outline of each chapter that I write beforehand. So I have actually already finished the basic structures of at least 7 more chapters to come. So I have been working! It's just hard to put all the ideas and basic plotlines down into pretty words. lol.

Hope you guys liked this one, and stay tuned for more! Also a GREAT HUGE AWESOME BIG thanks to my subscribers, and those who has commented such nice things in the comments. PLEASE continue to do so, I LOVE reading them, and it helps me draw more inspirations and strength to carry on with this story!!

THANKS AGAIN!! Love you all, God bless you!! ^___^

ps. By the way, can I get a freaking WOOT WOOT for the BIGBANG comeback? I am totally in love with "Bae Bae", despite the MV's strangeness and obvious ual innuendos... The melody is awesome! Also love the vocal lines in "Loser", because DUH my husband co-composed it, and sang oh-so-beautifully. (yes Taeyang is my husband, he just doesn't know it yet.)

pps. Sorry about the bad language, I only wanted to keep the character real. And Jiyong is definitely a swearing sort of person.