Step One - Admitting That You're a Lesb- NO!!!

_{Maybe the answer to the mysterious question Why, is Why n}ot.

_{Like, why is Tiffany so troubled by the fact that Jessica announced to the whole world that she is dating Taeyeon (or rather Taecyeon for that instant)?}

_{Or that why is she eating her third round of strawberry short cake in her usual spot of her favorite pastry shop while tears are running down dramatically on her cheeks as she sniffs the mucus currently running down her nose without a over the people inside the shop who are giving judgmental stares to her?}

_{The answer?}

_{Why not.}

_{Tiffany can list a thousand of reasons of why she should be happy about last night’s happenings. But then, there is this one single reason which could defy every ing reason she has.}

_{And that reason?}

_{She is a selfish little prick.}

_{She doesn’t like sharing. No matter how invaluable a thing is, if it belongs to Tiffany Hwang, then it’s Tiffany Hwang’s. You can’t win an argument over the ownership of that thing. The only thing you can possibly do is beg. And if you’re lucky enough, she’ll give it to you. But sharing? Nah, it’s not on her vocabulary. It’s either hers or not hers. There’s no in between.}

_{But then again things have to mess up and she was placed in a veryyyy messy situation. Yes, veryyyy. Do notice the lengthy y’s.}

_{The reason?}

_{She is sharing something that is not even hers to begin with. And that is really driving her insane.}

_{She is really screwed up.}

_{Screwed to the point where she have decided to contact her childhood friend to meet her at the café where it somewhat started it all. Yes, the childhood friend who is currently not-really dating her best friend. Yes, the childhood friend who is somewhat a part of the problem she is currently suffering from. That’s Tiffany Hwang for you.}

_{“Can’t wait to congratulate me huh?” Jessica stated as she sat in front of Tiffany.}

_{Tiffany twitched an eye, she is now officially regretting this decision. Never again will she trust her strawberry shortcake-eating, wailing self, in doing decisions. Like contacting the girl in front of her for example.}

_{“Yeah kinda.”}

_{Jessica looked at her with judging eyes.}

_{“Okay okay. Half of me do. Happy?”}

_{“And the other half?” Jessica said, raising an eyebrow.}

_{“The other half says off.”}

_{Jessica was startled by Tiffany’s half-self’s morning iness. Hell, it’s only 9:00 am and this deranged woman in front of her is already on a menstrual rampage – not literally of course.}

_{“Are you on your period?”  Jessica Just to be sure Jung asked. “Because if you aren’t and you’re just being a total then the other half of me tolerating your current ty attitude will not be able to stop the other half of me wanting to slap you in the face with bladed tampons.”}

_{Tiffany gasped at her Jessica’s threats. “Your hands would be injured. You ready for that?”}

_{“Is that a challenge?”}

_{“You don’t even have a bladed tampon Sica.”}

_{“You sure? Because I have always prepared one for you.” Jessica retorted. “But.” She paused, “As much as I would want to have a tampon duel with you right now,” She paused again, “You,” Jessica emphasized, “definitely need my help on love related .”}

_{Tiffany sighed. “What gave it up?”}

_{Jessica arched an eyebrow, “Red eyes, pale face, y atmosphere and oh, is that wacky clothes? Like Ew? Either that or you’re into drugs. I’m still uncertain but I’m hoping my first guess is right my dear.”}

_{“Well then, your first guess is wrong Ms. Jung.” Tiffany smirked. “I’m actually a drug addict trying to recruit you into my world of fun by showing you how gorgeous an addict would look like by setting me as an example.”}

_{“I’m not doing drugs Fanny. If you offered me that before maybe I would. But my life is kinda perfect right now.”}

_{Tiffany felt a pang in her heart. But she decided to ignore it. If she let it into her head again the legendary war of bladed tampons may happen between them.}

_{“So, let’s get into business. Who are we killing today?”}

_{“And you wonder why your one true love isn’t around yet Sica? You probably killed him in you last life and is now afraid to be reborn again.”}

_{“Who cares? I’m happy with my life. He can barge in later.” Jessica said, “But don’t try changing the subject. There’s something worrying you Fany.”}

_{“You know I’m always here for you.” Jessica added.}

_{“And I hate you for that Sica.” Tiffany said half-meant, with a smile.}

_{Yeah, she kind of hates Sica for being such a great friend. If the two were just not close, then things would have been a lot easier. And this feeling of guilt Tiffany is currently suffering would be a lot less damaging.}

_{“You are so lucky to have me.” Jessica said, smiling back.}

_{Tiffany started crying as she began telling her childhood friend the things troubling her without actually telling it all (She didn’t mention the name of Taeyeon or Sica but the remorse of her being a selfish prick is so alive in her mini-story). First it was just sobbing – which Sica can tolerate, with a little ‘what-the-’ and  ‘this-is-embarassing’ thoughts on her mind, until the soft whims of our beloved Tiffany Hwang shows signs and symptoms into becoming wails. Good thing Jessica managed to stop it from happening by saying the words “shh, shhh it’s okayyy, it’s okayyy.” and ordering another round of strawberry shortcake for her beloved childhood friend.}

_{“So all these…” Jessica paused as she tried to find the correct word,}

_{“Ridiculous .” Tiffany completed.}

_{“Rright.” Jessica breathed. “You are undergoing this ridiculous because you feel guilty.”}

_{“You know we should be celebrating right now for my new found dis-attachment for random guys.” Jessica sighed. “Oh well.”}

_{“So what’s your advice?”}

_{“Don’t rush me. I’m still processing the fact that you are feeling outraged by the fact that someone sat on your favorite bench and that caused you into being this…. Mess.”}

_“….”

_{“What the hell is wrong with you Tiffany? It’s just a bench for heaven’s sake! Go find another bench to sit on.”}

_{So yeah, apparently, Taeyeon is the bench. Nice logic Tiffany. You just break the fouth wall of metaphors.}

_{“But that’s my favorite bench! That’s my spot!” Tiffany said enraged.}

_{“It’s not even yours. It’s a public place for heaven’s sake.” Jessica said, rolling her eyes. Seriously what the hell is wrong with her friend. “If you want that bench so bad, why don’t you buy it?”}

_{“It’s not for sale.” Tiffany justified. “I-I didn’t actually ask if it is b-but I’m afraid they won’t let me buy it.”}

_{With that in mind, Jessica finally figured out that the bench Tiffany is talking about is not an actual bench. It’s a person. Tiffany, even though she has this tendency to do insane stuffs will never actually fight for the sake of a bench. However, this doesn’t justify her bad metaphors.}

_{She could have definitely told everything to Jessica. Without the use of any benches or . Something is off. Tiffany is hiding something from her.}

_{“Okay.” Jessica said as she took a deep breath. “You are in love with that bench. That’s the only rational explanation towards your attitude. Either that or your mental.”}

_{“It’s a bench for god’s sake! I can’t be in love with a bench!”}

_{Love comes in many forms and I will accept you no matter what kind of stuff you fall in love with.” Jessica said sounding like she actually do believe that her childhood friend is really in love with a bench for that particular moment. “Use a better metaphor for a person Fany. And you know what? I think you’re in denial of your feelings.”}

_{Tiffany sighed. “I’m so sorry Sica. It’s really about a person. But it’s so complicated you know? I’m not even sure of what I’m feeling.”}

_{“Like, we’ve known each other for so long. And just, one day I woke up, I just realized that I may or may not have feelings for her.” Tiffany said, her eyes widened after the last word she said to Sica sink in. “H-him! I mean.”}

_{Jessica raised an eyebrow for the nth time.}

_{“So, I guess the problem is that…  He is dating someone right now?” Jessica assumed.}

_{“Not really dating. But kind of.”}

_{“You’re afraid that he’ll fall for another person?”}

_{“I don’t know? Maybe? I’m not really sure.” Tiffany said as she placed her hand on her face. “Okay, Yes.”}

_{“Do you like him or are you still in denial of that?”}

_{“Yeah… I like he- him.” Tiffany answered. “But I can’t. I mean, we can’t even if I want to.”}

_{Now, this confused Jessica. As far as Tiffany’s dating history is concerned, the other girl never had a problem into making guys fall for her. Tiffany is pretty, sophisticated, and loving. This certain guy here who Tiffany is currently going crazy with must be really special.}

_{But because of Tiffany’s tongue-slip of the words ‘she’ and ‘her’ when it is supposed to be ‘he’ and ‘him’ an idea entered Jessica’s mind.}

_{Maybe the reason for this foolish actions and denying of feels from Tiffany Hwang, is not a guy.}

_{“She must be really special.” Jessica said.}

_{“Yeah, She is.”}

_{With that, Jessica gave a victorious smirk.}

_{Tiffany was startled. Her face, from being all gloomy and disoriented self became unfazed.}

_{“Stupid Jessica. I’m not a Les-Les –“ Tiffany said as she buried her face in her favorite pillow. Apparently, the talk she just made with Jessica made absolute no sense to her. And what the hell, her childhood friend didn’t even defended her straightness. Jessica just assumed that she’s a l-lesbian.}

_{Does liking a beautiful girl like Kim Taeyeon makes you a lesbian already?! It’s so unfair!}

 _{She doesn’t want to be a lesbian.}

_{NO NO NO NO NO!}

_{The idea of kissing a girl never crossed her mind. Not even having with one. That is just gross. And wrong. It’s so wrong in many levels.}

_{But then the idea of kissing Taeyeon didn’t seem gross or wrong at all.}

_{Why would it?}

_{Taeyeon’s lips are perfect. It’s pinkish and with the looks of it, it’s probably soft too. Maybe it tastes like strawberries too.}

_{It should be named as the eighth wonder of the world.}

_{Tiffany giggled at the thought.}

_{Now this is really confusing. Taeyeon is a girl right? So does this make her a lesbian for liking Taeyeon or is there another explanation for the thing she’s feeling towards her best friend right now?}

_{There’s only one way to find out.}

_{Tiffany opened her laptop. But instead of typing what uality you’re in quiz or what to do if you’re in love with your best friend of the same gender, Tiffany typed: How to not be a lesbian.}

_{She clicked the first site that came up. It’s called “Steps in Being a Cheerleader”. Tiffany cringed at the article’s name. Like what the is the connection between Cheerleading and uality. But then since it came up and she really got nothing to do aside from attending to the identity crisis she’s having, she decided to read the whole content.}

_{Step One: Admit that you are a Lesbian}

_{“Well, that escalated quickly.” Tiffany muttered to herself.}

_{It says in the article that in order to stop yourself from being a lesbian, you must admit that you are actually one in the first place.}

_{Tiffany sighed.}

_{She is not one okay?!?!?!}

_{She continued reading, “Some of you may be confused, or even in denial of your uality. But believe me honey; nothing will be solved if you don’t admit it. This is the root of your problem. And if you don’t attend to it immediately, it will just get worse. But bear in mind that if you are really straight then you wouldn’t have clicked this article beforehand. This is only step one.” Yeah right.}

_{Just to be sure, Tiffany opened another tab and searched for two girls kissing pictures. If she is really a lesbian then she might find these appealing right? Right.}

_{As expected, the pictures didn’t make her happy or anything of that sort. But she wasn’t grossed out like she expected too.}

_{Maybe it’s because the pictures she saw where pictures of actual couples. And they all looked so in love.}

_{She immediately thought of Taeyeon.}