I look at the sheet of paper in front of me and bring my pen up to my chin. I search for the right words to write down. This is probably going to be the last time I will ever write a letter to somebody. Let alone, someone as amazing as him. I hear knocking on my door. Violent knocking. I stand up, reach for my letter and try to hide it, but the door is pushed open. Here we go again. My father looks at me with the same dirty expression he has been making for the past few years. I make sure he doesn't see the letter by putting it behind my back. 'Come here for a bit.' he says, looking at me with his cold eyes. I want to refuse, but I know I would only make it worse by doing so. I walk up to him and he places his hand on my shoulder. He pushes me towards his room. As I walked in, still tightly holding on to my letter, I see my mother silently reading a book under the sheets. She looks up and I notice her eyes being red and her face being swollen. 'Get out, woman!' my father yells at her. My mother stands up and runs out of the room as if her life depends on it, which probably is the case.When she passes by, I see her eyes getting wet again. It's not because of me. I know that. All those years, it was just my mother being insecure. Instead of saving me from the events taking place almost everyday, she's jealous and insecure. Instead of asking why her own husband would do such a horrible thing to her daughter, she's asking why her own husband would do such a horrible thing to her. She feels betrayed and left aside. 'My own husband is ing my daughter! Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm not important to him anymore! He'd rather have someone else. I'm not good enough.' Instead of helping me, she runs away in fear and cries over her husband choosing someone else over her. He pushes me on the bed and notices my letter. He forcefully grabs it. What is this?' he says looking at the letter. 'That's-' I try to fetch the letter out of his hands. 'To Jimin? Is this a love letter?' he starts laughing. His laughing makes me feel humiliated. It always reminds me of moments I want to forget. He has different ways of laughing. Unfortunately, the twisted one is the one I hear most. When he's finally done laughing he looks at me. 'You filthy .' He slaps me and I tremble. 'I don't know who this Jimin is, but don't even think about escaping with another guy. I'll kill you.' Even though I am used to being humiliated, undermined and hurt by my father, I feel tears streaming down my face. 'I haven't seen your crying face in ages. I'm quite happy it's back. It's exciting.' My father is crazy. I stopped crying over this a long time ago, because I noticed the more I cry, the happier and crazier he gets. But this time, I couldn't hold back my tears. Why is that? Because it's the last letter I will ever write? Because it has my honest feelings written on it? Because it was for someone so special and unreachable? Because I knew that after I posted this letter, I'd commit suicide? Probably. He starts kissing my neck, but it's like my whole body has gone numb. I'm used to it and I hate it.

'Guys! Fanmail has arrived!' Taehyung yells after a few bags of fanmail were delivered at the door of their dorm by two men working for their agency. This is a weekly thing since they debuted. 'And I need help carrying it! So get your lazy asses over here!'  Hoseok is the first to come out of his room. He's busy brushing his teeth. He leaves his toothbrush in his mouth, grabs one of the bags with his name on it and drags it to his room. 'Guys!' Taehyung yells again. The boys gather at the front door and all of them take their own bag to their room. 'Hyung, how many do you have?' Jungkook looks over Jimin's shoulder. 'I don't count them. If someone has more, I get jealous.' Jimin smiles jokingly. 'Well, I have 56 today. Less than last week.' he puffs his cheeks. 'I'm going to read them in the living room.' Jungkook leaves the room carrying his fanmailbag out again. Jimin starts opening the first letter covered in hearts. Jimin's now a bit curious about the amount of letters he received. He puts the letter aside and turns the bag upside down, letting all the letters fall on the already messy floor. He counts 59. 'Jungkook-ah! I have more than you!' he storms out of his room to let Jungkook now about his victory. 'Hyung! I thought you didn't count your letters!' Jungkook said, while holding one of his fanmail letters. Without answering Jimin runs back to his room and starts reading his fanmail.

"Hello Jimin oppa,

First of all, I want to thank you for being who you are. Even if you don't know me and I don't know you personally, you mean a lot to me.

Are you well? Are you eating fine? I don't want you to collapse on stage. So you better take good care of yourself.

Lately, I haven't been well. But that gave me the courage to write you, which I'd never thought I would do.

I don't have much time left, that's why I wanted to let you know how I feel about you.

I don't just admire you because of your idol status, but also as a person. You've carried me through these last days like you were some kind of angel.

I must seem like a total weirdo, but please accept my honest feelings.

I know you've probably been getting lots of fanmail and you must be busy too. Maybe you don't even have time to read this letter at all. I don't mind if you didn't. I understand.

I'm just happy I could write my feelings down and having a chance that you will read them.

Thank you..

Goodbye, Jimin oppa

Ps. Say goodbye to the other members for me :) Please tell them that I admire them a lot."

'Guys! I have a weird feeling about this letter!' Jimin shouts after finishing reading his 38th fanmail.