My love,

 This is my first letter to you and I’m sure you’re wondering it is so overly romantic. It’s just, I want to make it up to you. All the times that I wasn’t and won’t  be able to be. Make up for all the times that I didn’t tip you over and kiss you, or when I could’ve gotten you flowers but I didn’t. By the time you start reading this, I should be gone. You should know that I have cancer and I most likely couldn’t fight it. I guess it's pretty far along. You know those stomach pains I've been having for a while? They said I have about a year. You don’t know it yet though, you don’t know it now. I can hear you rummaging around the kitchen, I think you’re making dinner. For us. For you and me. It’s been you and me for so long and now my body had the audacity to get sick and threaten to leave you... I want you to know I am sorry. For all my life, I only wanted to live longer than you even if was just a day, just a second. Just so you would never have to be alone. And to think I might not be able to give you that now. I am so scared. I’m scared of the pains in my stomach that only get more and more intense as the days come and go. I almost wish I hadn’t found out. How am I supposed to tell you that I’m sick and that I will die? That my insides are rottening and that they will drain me of everything you loved of me? I decided to write to you every love letter I never sent and never will be able to send so that you know that even when I was dying, all I thought of was you. I know when you find out, you will drop the world to be with me and I want you know that I appreciate it. That nothing you did was in vain. I can hear you calling me for dinner now so I’ll go,  and I won’t tell you. I’ll wait until I’m hospitalized and crippled until I tell you. You deserve a careless life, so I’m sorry that I’ve done this to you. I love you.

Love