i love holding his hand,it is not so soft,he's a guy though but it always gave me a warm feeling of being at such a cozy and safe place,like being at home.i find it such an irresistible temptation  and i swear i saw sparks each time i hold his hand.He never oppose it, he know how  much i love his hand ,how i love to entwined his fingers with mine and grip them like my life depends on it.He understand me more than others,he always did,thats his charm.He always told me the thing that i want to hear and soothed me like no others.His gentle voice form a sweet yet so mesmerizing melody to my ears and it never failed each time.i love listen to it although at that time he was busy nagging at me or the other member.He used to ask me why i always look dreamy when around him and instead of answering it,i chose to kept it secret to myself and give him my best smile.He never questioned me again.Tell me how am i suppose to act around an angel?..Yes,definitely,he was an angel to me, his lovely yet stunning smile never failed in making my heart pounding hard when around him.Its like a sun that shine my heart every single day, a day without it is meaningless.It is not how his teeth are all sparkling white or he had a gorgeous lips but the sincererity he display in each smile that was so addictive.its no doubt they call him the smiling angel.

Last night was a total mess for me , seeing him in such a vulnerable condition,his enticing eyes was all teary and his sorrow expression just wreck my heart to pieces.I gladly offer my arm for him to cling on and my shoulder for him to cry.I told him to tell me everything and he did , he pour everything to me until finally he had nothing left to kept.Its painful to see him in this kind of state, I always adore him when he look so reliable and strong but somehow this new side of him still caught my attention, he address it as his weakness but to me it was his another kind of charm that make him look more human than an angel. I feel like i am closer to him ,the feel of i am a little deserve for him,the feel like finally i can touch him...not like when he is in the angel state when  i feel i'm  not worth for him and he is forbidden for me.. .i tried my best to soothe him,like how he always did to me and  i was like jumping in cloud nine when it works as he return his angelic smile and dried his tears.It should be a long night but when around him,the time flies so fast and when i came to the time track he had already sleep in my grasp.He so calm and beautiful.I took my chance to enjoy the stunning scenery.His facial,his hair,his breath and his overall charm.My eyes finally catch his lips.His plump lips is one thing that you can say as God's greatest gift and to me at that time  look so inviting.I'm almost loss my control to place my lips on it when suddenly Ji Yong came in and cleared his throat.

''Hyung,we have talk about this,aren't we?,''i shooked my head and muttered my word of apologise unable to even look in his eyes.He moved closer to us and put his hand on my shoulder,i know the sign,he was stating his sympathy to me and to let me know he understand my situation.I know he did understand as he is the only one know about how i feel for this boy in my arm and the secret was like a covenant between us like nothing even us too should break it .The secret we both agreed should be buried deep in our heart, shouldn't be unfolded even if it need to.Somehow his eyes was  sharp and firm clearly stating that it still isn't a right thing.

Tears starts to form from the corner of my eyes and drooling on my cheek.I brushed it slowly with my finger to not awake the boy in my arm.I saw Ji's eyes got teary too but he chose to ignore it and still with a firmer grip on my shoulder he nodded his head.I know i should have not behave like this,he was too precious for me and i'm not the one for him,I know i love him but i know i wasn't destinied for him.After finally i gained my sane mind, i lifted him bridal style to his room,He whined a little but still unaware of his position and continue sleeping.He look so innocent curling in my arm and i can help to chuckled over his cuteness.I placed him on his bed and covered him with his blanket.With final glance, i took a quick pecked on his forehead and make my way out because i know i won't be able to resist myself cuddling him if i stay even longer.Before i lifted myself from the edge of the bed,an arm sneaked around me.......

He was sleeping  peacefully and once again i was mesmerized by his natural beauty.I enjoy doing this, watching him sleeping ,trying to feel his breathe againts my skin although i know i am not even one arm closed to him.i was too happy today because finally i know he was happy.Being around the one you loved is a one of a kind happiness,could not be changed ,could not be bargain.Same goes to Seunghyun that feeling happy when being around Daesung,Daesung also happy when being around the one he loved,Youngbae.Last night fighting finally over. Youngbae had came back to him begging for his forgiveness in the middle of the night after the misunderstood they had in the morning before.He just can't take it when Youngbae starts to get jealous over nothing and because Daesung loved that boy so much to that point it is hurt when his love is being doubted.Seunghyun was singing him a lullaby after he stop the eldest before he could step out from the room when his love life come crawling to the bed kissing his hand with tears all over him.He simply just thrown himself to the boy,already feeling his emptiness being filled again and he know he have his love life back.Seunghyun leaves short after that and they cuddled, sharing kissed ,mumbling how they had waste their time for something so stupid until they fell asleep in each others arm.

Outside the room,stalking between the small gap of the door,Seunghyun was watching his reason of life finally gain his normal life back ,finally be able to spread his charm,his kindness and smile to every single things alive.While Seunghyun, he will continue  his usual routine,enjoying his life with the one his love although it only means a small gesture ,exchanging smiles and jokes or the fanservice.He know he won't get himself done with the routine and how hard he tried to run away from it, he will come back to love the boy .He didn't regret it though...