I sit down in the usual table trying to figure what im eating. The food they give you is in a sense of mystery, since the only rich ones get to buy good food. I play around even when my mother told me not to play with my food. If this is even consider food. "hey" Baekhyun sits infront of me, with a very elegant steak. "hi" "are you working at the library today?"

I shake my head, as i stop moving my food. There was no need to know what it was, im not going to eat it. "no, i work at the coffee shop today" "okay, lets go" I raise my eyes and i look at Baekhyun confused. "go? go where?" "to my table" the cool table. You would expect that your life would get better, ones you leave high school.

The whole 'drama' thing, and the whole 'i dont care if im cool' thing. But the reality is that that doesnt stop. Is a cycle with no ending, when you get out of college, you'll try so hard to make your boss like you. And when you see the person you like, your going to make everything in your power for her/him to like you. And your kids would go through that too.

But i really did thought i had skip the cycle. "it would be okay, come on" Baekhyun stands up knowing i'll follow him, and i did. I take my poor lunch and i walk behind Baekhyun, who sits next to Chanyeol. The whole table is talking about different topics, and i dont know what to say. Chanyeol looks at me, telling me with his eyes 'your in the wrong place'. 

At least i hope he was saying that with his eyes, and not other things. "come Sehun sit" Baekhyun hits the spot infront of him, making the whole table look at me. I have never felt so many eyes on me. I take a seat, and it didnt take long for Chanyeol to say, "what is he doing here?" "i invited him" Baekhyun answers for me.

Kyungsoo continues to look at a magazine, and the whole school is right. He looks so cool doing simple things. There was only three originals in this table, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol. The other people surrounding this table, are the people who are dying to get into the group. If Chanyeol says 'i want a drink', one of this kids would jump to be chosen.

Baekhyun whispers words to Kyungsoo, that make him laugh. Chanyeol glances at me with every chance he gets. Was it so bad being me? Chanyeol couldnt take his eyes away from me, that i decide to turn around to my table. Joonmyun is sitting down there all alone, i bite my lip and i decide its better to go to my old table. "where are you going?"

"i...im going to my table, it was nice talking to you" i say politely to Baekhyun. He opens his mouth to say something to me, but Kyungsoo starts to whisper something in his ear so he forgets about me. I start to walk to my table not caring. "hey" i tap Joonmyun's shoulder, he turns around smiling. "hey where were you?"

"i was---i was talking to Sora" something inside of me couldnt tell Joonmyun about me being in the cool table. It was a feeling of 'abandonment' because i had left Joonmyun. If it wasnt for the fact that i turn around, i wouldnt have notice Joonmyun sitting alone. "you know she likes you" Joonmyun giggles, "she does not" "she does!"

"she doesnt"

"yes she does"

"no"

"yes"

"we are just friends" Joonmyun rolls his eyes, and i hate that he had pick up that habit. "so whats new?" "in class today we had to be in partners and the whole class want it to be my partner" Joonmyun says happily, and i didnt like it. Because everyone knows that Joonmyun is smart, and possibly the nicest person in the world. Which means he'll end up doing all the work, and the person would get credit for it.

"so who's your partner?"

"this guy name Jongdae" Joonmyun blushes when he says his name, he takes two bites of his sandwich so he'll stop his smile from appearing. Joonmyun had fallen into depression before i met him. He was home school for almost all his life, until he went into depression. Thoughts of killing himself float around Joonmyun's head.

It became so bad that he had to be in suicide watch for two weeks, before they release him from the hospital. He stop being depressed when his mother had the idea of him going to a public school. And it work. "hey why dont you and Jongdae come to the coffee shop today, and you guys can do the work there" so i can keep a eye on them.

"sure, we'll go"

Classes end up early today, i could go home and have a nice meal before i go to work. When i enter the house Eun seok runs to me, hugging my legs. "brother, save me! mom wants me to take a shower" i laugh which made Eun seok look at me with hurt eyes. "dont laugh" his face becomes all wrinkle, and he was about to cry.

"oh no, no Eun seok its okay. look" i take a lollipop from my pocket, "here have this" Eun seok grabs it, and his onces wrinkle face turns to a smiley one. "Eun seok!" my mom yells from the kitchen, Eun seok jumps alittle hiding behind me. We start to hear footsteps, making Eun seok more nervous, "Eun seok you need to take a shower"

"oh hi Sehunnie, how was school?" that tone of voice, is the same tone she uses when i talk to her about writing. My bastard of a dad left when i was born, my mom worked three jobs until she got hurt so bad, she limps every time she walks. Now as the man of the house, i have to bring the money to have food and a place to live.

My mom wants me to stop going to school. And everytime she uses that tone, i feel the need to listen to her but something always stops me. "it was good" my mom looks at Eun seok, giving him a daring look. He runs to his room, "Sehun, i found this in your room" she shows me the brochure the teacher had giving me.

"i thought we talked about this"

"i...i know"

"look im sorry for not being a good mother, and pushing you to work and you giving up in dreams" my mom puts her hand in her face to cover the few tears that are appearing in her eyes, "and im sorry i have this damn leg" she hits herself in her leg, and that makes me run to her arms. "no mom, dont say that. I...i dont even want to write anymore. That brochure is old, please mom stop crying"

I feel her head on my shoulder and her tears on my shirt. I didnt have the luxury to be selfish. My father was, and it hurt all of us. "mom, its okay. I promise" i pat her back lightly, "im sorry, im just having a hard time" she cleans her tears infront of me, and even when i was the one working she was the strong one. She puts her hands in my face, and her smooth fingers caress my cold face.

"mom, i have to go"

"okay, yes, i know. be careful" she kisses my cheek, and i run out of the house. My stomach makes a sound that you would expect an elephant to make, i just hope Joonmyun brings something to eat. Or at least he'll be willing to take me to eat somewhere. Im not picky i can eat anything, okay i have to stop thinking about food.

Im not hungry, im not hungry. Oh no here come that sound again.

The coffee shop is to calm today to even work, the only person here is Sora who keeps looking at me every few seconds. Im starting to feel self conscious about my face. It wasnt exactly the same look Chanyeol was giving me at school, but it was still the fact that they are looking at me. When i turn to look at her, she hides her face on her math book.

Im starting to think that Joonmyun was right, she might like me. I look down as i try to finish reading this chapter of my science book. "can i get a black coffee?" I raise my head "oh, yes of course" Baekhyun smiles at me, and waits for me to give him his order. He smells like cigarettes and medicine, i pour black coffee in a white cup "here" he blows on it, and i take the smell in.

"hey would you like to come to a party with me?" he asks, then takes a drink of his coffee. And i wait for the moment when he tells me the reason why he wants me there. "what, you dont like parties?" "im working" Baekhyun shrugs, "so?" i chuckle, not at the way he say it, but at the way that he doesnt care because he has money.

"i can take care of the coffee shop" Sora raises her hand shyly, "what?" "okay" i look at Baekhyun, since when does he talk for me. "no, i cant do that Sora" "its okay, i know how to make coffee. I seen you do it" Sora does that thing again, the thing where she puts her hair behind her ear as she smiles shyly. "lets go Sehun"

I dont know how my body start it to walk on its own, and i dont know how i got into Baekhyun's sports car. Is this how peer pressure feels? "its on Chanyeol's home, your going to like his house" i nod, "so how is your story going?" "i stop writing, i dont have much time anymore" Baekhyun looks at the road, then at me. "your lying"

"im not"

"if you were telling me the truth, you would have look at me right on the eyes" I scoff. "fine" I turn to look at Baekhyun, "i dont have much time anymore" since Baekhyun is driving, i dont say it straight at his face. So he just laughs.

When we enter the house, the loud stereo rings on my ears. The song goes something like 'bubble pop', "you want a beer?" Baekhyun yells on my ears, but it doesnt hurt. I shake my head, "no" but it might seem like i said 'yes' cause Baekhyun says 'i'll go get one for you'. He leaves me in the middle of people dancing with each other.

At least thats what it was suppose to be, because it looks like their having . Baekhyun comes back, and gives me a beer. He drinks his, and i just look at mine. He looks around trying to look for his friends. "hold on, i'll be back" he leaves me even when i told him not to. In that moment Kyungsoo appears behind me smelling like vomit, and beer.

"hi"

"hi"

"so you like Baekhyun?" I open my mouth surprise, its that what it looks like? "no, i dont. He just invited me" "your interesting Sehun" i nod, i dont think he knows what his saying. Kyungsoo winks and leaves, i stay alone in the middle of everything. The cup starts to feel heavy, so i take a drink. The favor is strong, and it doesnt taste like anything.

I dont understand why people like this thing. But i continue to drink it, until theres no more. Baekhyun comes back, "here" he gives me another cup, i take it. "lets talk outside" i follow Baekhyun outside, where the music just shakes the walls and the door. We sit on the porch, and i like how it feels "so what do you want to do?"

"what do you mean?" Baekhyun takes a drink of his red cup, "like your career" "oh, i dont know. I have to many responsibilities" the chuckle that comes out of that perfect mouth rings in my ears. "like what?" i look at Baekhyun as my stupid mouth keeps on hanging, but no words come out. Not even to tell him that i dont talk about my life.

Its not like i can tell him, 'my douchebag of a dad decided not to be involved with anything that includes me, so my mom had to work hard just to get pregnant from another man who also didnt want to stay. So now i have to take care of them, and not only that. I have the need to take care of Joonmyun too' "okay, okay i get it you dont talk about nothing personal"

"what about you?"

"me?" Baekhyun points at himself, i think he was abit drunk. "theres nothing that you dont know, i do bets" "why?" Baekhyun shrugs, "because their fun" "but why are they fun?" 

"because their bets"

"so? that doesnt really explain why their fun" Baekhyun laughs but it didnt come out as a 'ha ha ha' it comes out as something to say, because i think he knows the reason he just doesnt want to tell me. Which is fine, we are not that kind of friends. We are not even friends. As i stay in thought, i feel Baekhyun's face getting closer to me. Each beat is another inch, but i dont move. Maybe im abit drunk too.

"Sehun!" Baekhyun stops moving, as we both turn to Joonmyun. "Joonmyun!" i walk towards him, "what are you doing here?" "you were suppose to be at the coffee shop" Joonmyun sounds like the kid his brain is telling him he is, "i know, im sorry" "why are you with them? why are you trying to be something else?" every words is another rocket shooting out of Joonmyun's mouth.

"im not trying to be anything else, Baekhyun just invited me" i say calmly hoping Joonmyun would follow, i touch his arm but he just pushes me. "their just using you! you dont know maybe if this is another bet!!" the sick part is that i didnt care. "Joonmyun go home, we would talk tomorrow, okay" Joonmyun hits me in my chest, it didnt hurt no matter how much he thinks it did.

"i dont want to be your friend anymore, i was scared Sehun, i was scared and you werent there" Joonmyun's eyes become glossy, and i didnt have anything to say. Maybe i was glad, one last person i have to take care of. Im a kid, not a father nor a grown up. "fine, Joonmyun i dont care, i dont care anymore!" i shout back, "go! go and dont ing come back to me!!"

Baekhyun finally stands next to me, to stop this conversation before it becomes a fight. Joonmyun's lip trembles, before he runs away.