As the door swung silently open, Nikki peered into the softly lit room with a worried look upon her face. Scanning the room filled with matching white furniture, a few knickknacks collected from around the world, and a couple of potted plants scattered here and there, she looked for any sign of JYJ’s most obstinate member. As her eyes fell upon the four-post, king-sized bed draped in white linens, she spotted a tuft of hair looming over the mattress on the far side. Walking in silently, she closed the door behind her and with an almost inaudible click, locked the door.

 

Without a word uttered, she walked across Jaejoong’s bedroom, stopping near the edge of his bed, and looked down at him just in time to see him palm something out of sight. Jaejoong, instantly realizing he was no longer alone, looked up at Nikki as if she was a criminal and scowled at her.

 

“What do you want?” he growled.

 

“Nothing,” she answered sincerely as she rounded the bed and casually took a seat beside him on the floor like it was a completely natural occurrence. “Absolutely nothing.”

 

“Then go away,” he ordered angrily.

 

“Sorry, I can’t do that,” she answered politely, flashing a gentle smile at him before turning her eyes to the window before them.

 

“And, why not?” asked Jaejoong incredulously.

 

“First, I have to figure out what so interesting about this window that it’s had you so preoccupied for the last hour,” she answered amusedly as she playfully, mockingly, stared out the window and saw nothing of dire interest. “'Cause, right now, I don’t see the appeal.”

 

“Don’t try that playful, friendly, with me,” growled Jaejoong as he just shook his head at the weird woman invading his space. “I won’t fall for your tricks.”

 

“Tricks?” Nikki chuckled gently. “Is that what you think this is?”

 

“Do you, really, think that after all this time, I’m only here to take advantage of you, or something?” questioned Nikki a little dismayed as she never took her eyes off the window. “Jaejoong, you are just too suspicious sometimes, you know that?”

 

Jaejoong stayed silent, not answering Nikki’s earnest questions, and looked down at the floor between his knees. Time seemed to stop as a silence formed all around them. They sat quietly, side by side, on the floor next to Jaejoong’s bed for what seemed like hours until Nikki cleared and broke the silence.

 

“Jaejoong…” she said softly. “You know you’re not the only person in the world that’s lost something precious, don’t you?”

 

“Sometimes it takes losing someone before we finally understand what they meant to us, to begin with.” she offered without looking at Jaejoong. “It’s a hard lesson, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it’s a lesson that we each have to learn on our own, none-the-less.”

 

Turning to Jaejoong, Nikki smiled somberly at she looked at the man before her and her heart ached. She could always tell when someone was hurting. It was a gift she had had her whole life, and she knew that there was a lot of pain being masked behind that pretty face and angelic voice.

 

“What do you know about it?” grumbled Jaejoong as he turned his face from the floor and stared at the table next to his bed.

 

“I know a lot more than you would think,” answered Nikki as she instantly spotted what Jaejoong had been hiding in his hand the whole time.

 

“Much more than you think,” she added as she quickly snatched the item out of hand before he could react.

 

“Hey!” yelled Jaejoong. “Give that back.”

 

Without even looking the photograph she had so skillfully relieved Jaejoong of, Nikki looked at Jaejoong knowingly and shook her head.

 

“Is this,” she questioned as she shook the item in her hand. “The only thing you have left to hang on to Jaejoong? Will you stay stuck in the past for the rest of your life?”

 

“What I do, or don’t do, doesn’t concern you,” answered Jaejoong angrily. “Now, give that back.”

 

“No.” she answered flatly.

 

“No?” questioned Jaejoong angrily as he reached out and tried to take it from her.

 

With a gentle, but firm hand, Nikki grabbed Jaejoong’s wrist and pulled it away.

 

“Jaejoong…” she sighed softly with a gentle smile. “There’s no need to use force.”

 

“I will give it back to you,” Nikki stated gently. “If…”

 

“If what?” questioned Jaejoong frustratingly.

 

“If you promise to answer a question for me,” she answered.

 

“What kind of question?” he prompted.

 

“A seriously private one,” she answered honestly. “If you grant my request, I will give back this picture without a fuss and I promise you that no matter what we discuss here, it will always stay between us.”

 

“What do you say?” she whispered gently as she looked up at Jaejoong face with a kind and loving countenance. “Can you trust me enough, to answer one heartfelt question from someone that sincerely cares about you?”

 

“Why should I trust you?” answered Jaejoong back spitefully. “I don’t even know you.”

 

“Oh, but you do,” she answered softly. “You know a part of me, at least.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Jaejoong asked, somewhat confused by the woman’s answer.

 

“I’ll tell you what.” she suddenly said, snapping her fingers together as if an idea just struck her. “How about we play a game?”

 

“A game?” scoffed Jaejoong as he instantly thought that Nikki was turning more and more mental as time went on.

 

“It’s a simple game.” she smiled with a nod.

 

“A secret for a secret,” she added. “I will tell you my secret if you tell me yours.”

 

“I’m not telling you anything,” answered Jaejoong tersely.

 

“Well, it will be a secret on my part but for you, all you have to do is answer my one question.” Nikki offered. “Does that sound reasonable?”

 

Jaejoong looked down at his stolen photograph in Nikki’s hand and contemplated just exactly the woman was up to. She had taken it from him, seeming almost like she was interested in what he had been holding, but had yet to even take a look at it. Instead, she was talking about questions and secrets. He had never really understood her from the beginning, and their current conversation was just making it worse.

 

“If I play your game, listen to your secret, and answer your question,” he sighed in defeat. “Will you give me back my picture?”

 

“Yes,” she answered with an agreeing nod. “But you have to promise me that our secrets will stay between us, alright?”

 

“Fine.” he conceded. “What’s your secret?”

 

Passing the photo from her left hand to her right, she stretched out her left hand and put her fingers together.

 

“Have you ever noticed this?” she questioned as she looked at the ring on her ring finger.

 

“I have,” he answered as he looked upon the red, heart-shaped stone set in a band of white gold.

 

“This ring is my secret.” she smiled.

 

With a smile, she slipped the ring from her finger and handed it to Jaejoong.

 

“Take a look,” Nikki said with a sigh.

 

Grasping the shiny ring between his thumb and finger, Jaejoong studied the seemingly ordinary ring curiously. It didn’t really seem that secretive but it was pretty.

 

“It’s a nice ring.” scoffed Jaejoong softly. “But I don’t see…”

 

“Look at the inscription underneath.” Nikki interrupted gently.

 

Flipping the ring over, Jaejoong spun the band until his eyes landed on four words, in a scrollwork font, inscribed deep within the metal.

 

Always Keep the Faith.

 

“You’re a fan?” Jaejoong questioned without even looking up from the ring, suddenly terrified at his newfound knowledge.

 

“Does that frighten you?” she questioned gently.

 

“Yes.” he breathed out, his voice wavering.

 

“There’s no need to be afraid of me Jaejoong,” she answered as she reached out and gently plucked the ring from Jaejoong’s hand and continued honestly. “I won’t ever do anything to hurt you Jaejoong, or your brothers. You all are very special to me and I would never do anything to break the trust that I have received from your management company, your President, or you and your brothers.”

 

“President?” questioned Jaejoong instantly. “Does he know?”

 

“Yes,” Nikki answered with a gentle nod. “The fact that I am a fan, and this inscription on this ring, is only a part of my secret though.”

 

“This ring,” she started as she clasped the ring in her fingers and shook it gently. “Was a gift I gave to myself many years ago. At first, it was a simple ring, nothing too overly special about it other than the heart-shaped, faceted pearl ruby on its band. It wasn’t till more than ten years ago, that this ring finally found its purpose.”

 

“Purpose?” questioned Jaejoong apprehensively, suddenly feeling a strange vibe fall between the two of them.

 

“It's a reminder,” Nikki answered as she looked at Jaejoong with a smile that seemed almost sad. “It’s a reminder of the hardest time in my life, and of the people who got me through it all.”

 

“My life was a mess.” she offered as she started to explain. “I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with a man I had lived with for three years –a man that at one time I had hoped to marry. I lost my job, my apartment, and my car. I had nothing left but this ring and the few clothes I managed to salvage before I was thrown out.”

 

“I was homeless, broke, and starving.” sighed Nikki. “I spent my days trying to find a new place to live and a job and spent my nights trying to avoid the creepy old men at the neighborhood homeless shelter.”

 

“Didn’t you have any family you could turn to?” questioned Jaejoong worriedly as he looked up at her saddened face. “Parents? Grandparents? Siblings?”

 

“I do have family,” she answered “But at that time, I was just too proud to ask for help from them. My mother was on a fixed income, being in her late sixty’s, and my sister lived far away in Japan."

 

“I spent months like that…miserable and alone.” Nikki sighed as her eyes began to water just slightly. “And at one point I really thought about just giving it all up…permanently, but…”

 

“But?” questioned Jaejoong as his heart seemed to drop into his stomach at the heartbreak in Nikki’s voice.

 

“Someone, rather a bunch of someones helped me realize that life wasn’t so bad after all.” she sniffled as she forced herself to smile.

 

“Who?” asked Jaejoong hesitantly, already fearing he knew her answer.

 

“Them,” she said as she flipped Jaejoong’s photo over in her hand and revealed what she had known was there all along.

 

Jaejoong looked down at the picture of him and his four brothers, from years ago, that he had cherished for a very long time, and sighed.

 

“We were the ones?” questioned Jaejoong unbelievingly.

 

Nikki just nodded and smiled.

 

“Your music, your voices, and harmony struck a chord in me the first time I heard you sing,” said Nikki as she reached up and quickly brushed away a tear that had snuck down her cheek. “And gave me the hope I needed to pull myself up by the proverbial bootstraps and move on with my life.”

 

“I threw away my pride and called my family,” added Nikki. “And with their help, I was able to have a roof over my head, go back to college and get my degree, start my career, venture into the Korean entertainment industry, and eventually work my way to being the stylist for three of the men who had ultimately saved my life without even knowing it.”

 

“Is that why you are so nice to everyone?” questioned Jaejoong after he processed Nikki’s story for a moment. “Because we somehow saved you from your life and you're trying to repay the favor.”

 

“Repay the favor? Perhaps.” she smiled.

 

“But, I think…No, I know that you’ve been misunderstanding my intentions for a long while, Jaejoong.” corrected Nikki. “Contrary to what you might be expecting, I am not the type of person that is oblivious to the contradictions and coercions of life. I know there aren’t a lot of trustworthy people in this world and even fewer people that are always genuine with their feelings. I also know that people who have been hurt or betrayed are less likely to trust someone new, easily.”

 

“You have been betrayed more times than I could possibly count,” she added knowingly. “So it’s no wonder why you have been so hesitant to talk to me or to get to know me. But, whether you believe me or not, I actually do understand you better than most.”

 

“That’s one of the reasons why, even when you are the nastiest you can be towards me, I am always nice to you –because I know what you’re going through and have gone through,” Nikki said with a smile. “I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve felt what you’re feeling. It’s a very lonely place to be. You feel as if no one understands you, that no one cares about you, and when the people around you do things because they care: you don’t trust it. You feel as if they are only treating you that way because they want to take advantage of your career, your money, your influence or more importantly, yourself.”

 

“I AM always nice to you.” she reiterated knowingly. “But, I don’t do it because I pity you, want to placate you with niceties, lure you into a false sense of security, or want something from you in return. It’s because, unlike what you may have thought, I genuinely care about all three of you and respect you wholeheartedly.”

 

“In a way, I owe you my life.” Nikki nodded knowingly. “And if being your stylist, helping you along the way as much as I can, and being the best friend I can possibly be, will help me pay back that debt in some way…then I will do it willingly and honorably.”

 

As Jaejoong absorbed her earnest confession, a single solitary questioned popped in his mind and he instantly decided to voice it out loud.

 

“You said that you had that ring well before you ever knew of us, isn’t that right?”  questioned Jaejoong as he looked at her ring again.

 

“Right,” she answered, knowing full well what would be his next question.

 

“The inscription was added a week after yours was added,” Nikki added with a smile as she reached out and tapped Jaejoong on his chest where the same phrase was inscribed into his skin.

 

“We share the same pain, you and I.” she sighed softly. “I was right there with you, through all that heartache.”

 

“So, you see? We both know each other more than we thought, huh?” asked Nikki with a gentle laugh as she slipped her precious ring back on her finger.

 

“I guess so,” answered Jaejoong, suddenly feeling unusually more comfortable around the not-so-strange-anymore woman.

 

“So…” ventured Jaejoong, a little apprehensive about Nikki’s question and worried that it might be almost too personal. “What’s this seriously private question you want to ask me?”

 

“If you could have your greatest wish fulfilled, with absolutely no negative connotations attached to it, what would you wish for?” asked Nikki with a bright smile.

 

“That’s your question?” laughed Jaejoong unbelievingly. “Seriously?”

 

“That’s my question,” replied Nikki with a nod.“Any wish, no matter how silly, stupid, or even unlikely.”

 

“What is your greatest wish Jaejoong?” she questioned again.

 

“To have a fulfilling career, I guess,” answered Jaejoong almost robotically.

 

“You promised you would be honest Jaejoong.” scolded Nikki with a sigh and a disappointed shake of the head. “I want a real answer, not one that the PR team made up for you.”

 

“I promise that I will never breathe a word of your answer to another living soul,” explained Nikki as she reached out and gently touched Jaejoong on the shoulder and squeeze lovingly. “Tell me the truth, just this once.”

 

“You know my real answer.” sighed Jaejoong as he looked up at Nikki’s caring face and then dropped his eyes to the floor. “All the fans know what I really want.”

 

“Then just say it.” prompted Nikki as she extended her other hand and gave Jaejoong back his photograph, pressing it deeply into his palm. “There’s no need to beat around the bush or insinuate anything with my love. The more you dance around your real answer the more you do a disservice to your own feelings and the feeling of those you love.”

 

“Just this once,” she begged gently as she grasped his hand holding the photo and squeezed it gently. “Own your true feelings outright and just say it.”

 

“I want them back,” answered Jaejoong softly a few quiet moments later.

 

 

[May 28th: Tokyo, Japan]

 

“Where is she?” questioned Changmin frustratingly as he looked down at his watch and sighed. “She’s late.”

 

“She’ll be here,” answered Yunho with a smile. “You know Nini. She’s never, ever, quite on time, for anything.”

 

“But we have that magazine interview in an hour,” replied Changmin, looking across the table at his Hyung. “If she doesn’t get here soon, we’ll be late.”

 

Suddenly the sound of fast-approaching high heels clattering across the linoleum floor assaulted their ears. Yunho and Changmin looked up across the quiet café to see Nini hurrying to them in a huff.

 

“Noona, there you are!” said Changmin happily.

 

Over the last few weeks, he and Yunho both had become quite attached to the older woman that seemed to understand them on even the most personal of levels. They were no longer just business associates, but friends.

 

“Sorry, Minnie.” she apologized sincerely. “My new driver can’t seem to go anywhere without getting us stuck in traffic.”

 

“I seriously can’t wait till we go back to Seoul, tomorrow,” she added with a sigh as she sat down on the table’s bench beside Changmin and then laughed. “At least my Korean driver knows his way around.”

 

“Traffic is terrible in Seoul too, you know?” snorted Changmin amusedly.

 

“I know but Jun is the best driver I’ve ever had,” she replied with a laugh. “He knows all these weird back streets and alleyways that aren’t even found on a GPS. I swear he was a get-away driver for some bank robber in a past life or something.”

 

“So…” began Yunho with a chuckle of his own. “Do you have everything set up for our trip home?”

 

“Yes,” Nini answered as she pulled out a black folder from her bag and flipped it open. “I’ve chartered a private plane for your return to Korea -so as to avoid any unnecessary drama with fans at Incheon. We’ve worked out an exit strategy with the airport as well. You will be leaving out of a service entrance on the tarmac where a company SUV will be waiting for you.”

 

“Once you leave the airport via unmarked SUV, you will be taken directly to the company,” she added. “Once there, we will begin your schedule for the day.”

 

“Schedule?” questioned Changmin, slightly irritated. “Can’t we at least get one day off to rest before going back to work”

 

“You just had almost a month vacation.” scolded Yunho with a disappointed shake of the head.

 

“I need a vacation from my vacation.” chuckled Changmin. “And, besides, we ended up having to work anyway.”

 

“Don’t worry.” interrupted Nini as she reached out and patted Changmin on the shoulder. “You only have two appointments that day then your off, until Monday.”

 

“Well that’s something, I guess.” scoffed Changmin. “When do we start our build-up for the next promotion? Monday?”

 

“Yes.” Nini answered as she flipped the page in her notebook and began to rattle off next week’s schedule “Monday you have recordings all day and then dance practice that evening until eleven o’clock. Tuesday: Minnie, you have a video recording for that variety show and Yunho has vocal recordings for his solo track that’s going on the album, all in the morning, and then a three hour class with me that afternoon on the intricacies of your new personal SNS channels –which we’ll launch officially at midnight that night."

 

"Wednesday: You both have dance practice in the morning, and then the first of three photo-shoots for the album’s photo book that afternoon.”

 

“Jesus…” sighed Changmin. “And I thought you were going to go easy on us?”

 

“This is easy, Minnie.” laughed Nini gently. “This all the stuff you’ve been doing for years. Why does it sound so difficult now?”

 

“Min has always been like that,” answered Yunho. "He loves the limelight, but the work gets on his nerves.”

 

“Well, don’t you worry.” placated Nini with a smile. “The first week is the hardest, after that it will calm down a little until your album release.”

 

“And then it will get even worse.” scoffed Changmin a little dejectedly.

 

“It’s all a part of the game, Min. We just have to deal with it as it comes,” advised Yunho knowingly.

 

“So, can I continue now?” questioned Nini in a professional tone of voice.

 

“Please...” answered Yunho as he motioned for her to go ahead.

 

“Thursday…you’ll like this Minnie. You have the entire morning off,” she smiled at Changmin mischievously. “The only thing you have to do that morning is to update your new SNS channels –which should take about five minutes."

 

"Just do something simple though: a quick photo, a cheerful thought or phrase to boost the morale of the fans, or even an update on what you’re doing today. But make sure to keep it nonspecific. No posting behind-the-scenes shots from the album’s photobook shoot or anything regarding the album, ok?”

 

“Ok,” answered Yunho and Changmin together.

 

“That afternoon you have dance practice until eleven o’clock again.” she continued. “And Friday, you have the final recordings for the album for most of the morning and afternoon, including a two-hour block for Minnie to re-record his solo track, and then that evening you have that brand-launch event with that new clothing line you’re sponsoring.”

 

“Will we have to wear their clothes or can we just wear what we want?” questioned Yunho for clarity.

 

“It’s their brand launching so you will have to wear their product,” answered Nini. “But, your stylist has put together a couple of very nice ensembles for you to choose from. I know you’re not too fond of the company’s style, Yunho, but I’ve already seen what she has come up with for you to wear and I think you will like them.”

 

“Ok,” answered Yunho with a nod. “If you’re sure.”

 

“I’m sure.” she smiled.

 

“Now…” Nini said with an almost saddened look on her face. “I’m sure Director Choi told you about my personal schedule while we are in Korea, didn’t he?”

 

“He just said that you will be very busy,” answered Changmin.

 

“And almost unavailable after your first week back,” replied Nini. “Besides what I’m doing with the two of you, I also have three other clients that I will need to deal with while I’m there. So, after the first week, you’re back, you won’t get to see me often."

 

"BUT," she emphasized. "I will always be a phone call away. You can call me any time you need to talk to me, for any reason, and if you really need to see me…I’ll come running.”

 

“I will continue to update the status of our new PR campaign as the weeks go by and I will always keep your manager in the loop,” she added with a smile. “So if you have any questions about anything, you can ask him directly.”

 

“But…Will he tell us everything?” questioned Changmin suspiciously. “Our company’s managers aren’t well known for being completely honest and upfront with us.”

 

“He has no choice,” answered Nini, with conviction, as she looked up at Changmin. “He doesn’t answer to your management company anymore, he answers directly to me. If he fails to give you the information you request, or you think at any moment that he’s not being truthful with you, you call me immediately –no matter what time of day, and I’ll take care of it immediately. Ok?”

 

“Ok,” answered Yunho and Changmin together.

 

“Hey, Noona?” questioned Yunho after a few seconds of silence. “You mentioned three other clients. Are they the reason why you’ve been flying back and forth to Seoul so much, in the last few weeks?”

 

“Yes,” answered Nini flatly.

 

“Do we know them?” questioned Changmin as he immediately understood Yunho’s train of thought.

 

Ever since they had been introduced to Nini, she had been disappearing to Seoul off and on quite frequently without any real explanation. Changmin hadn’t really thought much about it, assuming that it was all a part of their new PR campaign, but at the mention of the other clients a few moments ago his interest, too, had been piqued.

 

“I’m not at liberty to say,” answered Nini vaguely, her tone suddenly sounding very put-offish. “My work with them doesn’t concern you two at this juncture so there is no need for your concern.”

 

“Umm…alright then,” answered Yunho a little perplexed. Nini was never one to be so vague or secretive and her current tone was unmistakably both.

 

“So…that’s it,” Nini concluded with a smile as she collected her things and stood up. “You guys are off the hook for the rest of the day after your scheduled interview with that magazine. So, enjoy your last night in Japan, for a while, as you see fit.”

 

“I’ll see you two at the airport in the morning,” she added as she waved goodbye and walked off.

 

As Nini headed for the doors to the café Changmin stood up with a deep sigh.

 

“Where are you going?” questioned Yunho instantly.

 

“I’ll be right back,” answered Changmin as he started off after Nini. “Don’t leave without me.”

 

“Noona.” called out Changmin as he exited the café doors and spotted her walking down the sidewalk and talking on her phone. Catching up to her in a flash, he tapped her on the shoulder to catch her attention. When she turned around and finally noticed him, she immediately pulled the phone down from her ear and covered the receiver with her other hand.

 

“What's wrong?” questioned Nini, as she seemed to almost grimace, agitatedly.

 

“Can we talk for a minute?” questioned Changmin as he took in her somewhat cold posture.

 

“Sure,” she answered as she began to raise the phone back up to her ear, her hand still covering the receiver. “Just give me a second.”

 

“Love?” she questioned into the phone ever so quietly. “I have to go, for now. I will call you back later, ok?”

 

“Ok, Su,” she answered a second later, her voice still so terribly quiet. “Talk to you then. Be careful and give everyone my love. Bye.”

 

“Who’s Su?” questioned Changmin immediately after she ended the call.