.

[September 5th: Haze Media Inc., Penthouse Suit; Tokyo, Japan 9:59 PM]

 

“When will you need a decision from us?” questioned Jaejoong, his eyes glistening with the remnants of his earlier tears, as he looked across the walnut coffee table sitting between him and the Lady N and gripped a thick stack of papers in his lap.

 

“I’ll need your decision within a month,” she replied with a reassuring smile.

 

“You know, I can’t guarantee that my brothers will agree to this,” prompted Jaejoong. “After all, this is...”

 

“I understand.” she interrupted, putting her hand up and motioning him to stop. “It’s a big decision for all of you, and though I might not like it, I will respect your decision whichever way it sways.”

 

“You wouldn’t be upset if we declined your offer?” he questioned, slightly disbelieving her seemingly calm and collected tone.

 

“I didn’t say that,” she admitted with a gentle chuckle. “But like I said earlier Jaejoong, all I want for you; all of you; is to be happy.”

 

“If for some reason you three decide not to agree to our terms,” she added. “Then I’ll just have to accept that decision and deal with what comes next.”

 

“The last thing I want to do is pressure you Jaejoong, or your brothers for that matter,” she continued when Jaejoong didn’t respond. “You have been through so much in your lives and careers that I would be doing a disservice to all of those who love you if I were to make your lives worse rather than better. And, ultimately, that’s the whole purpose of this endeavor. To make your lives better, happier.”

 

“To repay the world for all the love they have given you...with love,” he replied understandingly.

 

“Precisely,” she nodded with a smile.

 

“But the question remains Jaejoong,” she started again. “You still have not answered me.”

 

“I know,” he sighed.

 

“It’s a simple question, love,” she smiled. “One just for you and only you...”

 

“How does Jaejoong feel about my offer?” she repeated.

 

“Confused,” he answered honestly as he glanced down at the open contract sitting on top of the stack in his lap and took in the scrolled signature of his former leader at the bottom once more. “Why would he agree to this so quickly?”

 

“I think the answer to your question is quite obvious Jaejoong,” Lady N replied. “Don’t you?”

 

“It should be obvious...yes, it should be,” sighed out Jaejoong worriedly. “But it’s not that simple. It’s never that simple.”

 

“People change Jaejoong,” she offered lovingly. “I know Yunho used to be so self-determined, stubborn, even pig-headed at times, all those years ago, but even the greatest of the greats grow up, learn, adapt."

 

"Perhaps Yunho has finally, truly, realized that to abandon the people you love solely for sake of perseverance is more foolish than following your heart.”

 

“What...what did he say?” questioned Jaejoong hesitantly. “When you showed him all of this?”

 

“He was then like you are now,” she answered cryptically. “unbelieving in my intentions, untrusting of my words, uncertain of his future.”

 

“But,” she interjected. “One thing was most certainly clear...”

 

“What?” Jaejoong questioned immediately.

 

“The hope in his voice never faltered,” she answered with a knowing nod.

 

“Hope,” sighed Jaejoong slowly.

 

 

 

[September 6th: Imperial Hotel; Tokyo, Japan 12:32 AM]

 

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” came Nikki’s soft reply as she settled into the sofa in the middle of Jaejoong’s hotel suite and sighed into the phone.

 

“Well, you did,” countered Junsu. “I didn’t know where you were, you weren’t home, you just disappeared without a word.”

 

“The company knew where I was,” she justified.

 

“Of course they did, but they neglected to mention it to me or Chunnie,” argued back Junsu, the sound of his voice a mix of irritation and concern. “I even went looking for you because I thought something happened to you. And, when you didn’t answer your phone last night. I thought.”

 

“I’m sorry, Su,” Nikki apologized with a frown.

 

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” he questioned in a slightly irritated tone.

 

“I was,” she stammered as the events of yesterday flickered across her mind and she immediately decided it was not her place to tell Junsu what had happened at the company. “I was just so busy yesterday that I totally forgot about my phone. I didn’t realize it was dead till this afternoon.”

 

“Noona,” whined Junsu.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” she apologized.

 

 

 

[September 6th: Imperial Hotel; Tokyo, Japan 12:38 AM]

 

 

With a deep sigh, Jaejoong stared at the door before him with a contemplative and exhausted look. The evening’s turn of events, while in the Lady N’s private suite, weighed heavily on his mind. So much so, that he had spent the last hour just wondering around Tokyo on foot trying to process it all.

 

What the woman had told him, her plans, her intentions with all of this, seemed almost too good to be true. When she had first handed him the agreement, as they stood in front of that large window overlooking the beautiful Tokyo skyline, and looked at him with such contentment and sincerity, he found that with one simple look from her he suddenly felt as if he could trust her with his very life. The thought of which made him shudder.

 

How can she do that? he had thought to himself at that moment. How can she so easily put me at ease as if I have known her my whole life?

 

When he had finally looked at the paper she handed him, he instantly felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. What that thin stack of papers implied, seemed almost impossible. Suddenly, there was a way; a way to undo the mistakes of the past and put right what went so wrong so long ago.

 

Jaejoong would have been lying if he had said that the very thought hadn’t frightened him a bit. He had spent many years dreaming of the day when their family would be together again but the idea that it could soon become reality had him nearly retreating in fear. There were so many questions left unanswered, so many things that could go wrong, so many words left unsaid, and it scared him.

 

The thought of being a family again had warmed his heart and gave him hope, but the uncertainty of it all felt like a crushing weight draped over his shoulders. He had faith but his faith was still apprehensive.

 

Shaking away the worried thoughts that circled around his head like carrion vultures, he swiped his key card to his hotel suite and went in. As he closed the door behind him quietly, the sound of Nikki’s voice caught his attention. Kicking off his shoes by the door, he placed the stack of papers in his hand on a small table in the foyer and quietly ventured into the apartment almost sneakily.

 

“Yesterday,” he heard her say.

 

“No, everything’s fine,” she replied.

 

“Yeah, I know,” she replied again.

 

“He’s doing good. No, he’s not back yet. I don’t know. Yes, I am worried. Don’t be like that. I know, I’m sorry I didn’t call. Yes, day after tomorrow. Around noon, I think. I need to check my itinerary. I don’t know. Maybe. Sure, we can do that. Will you have time though? Oh, ok,” she continued.

 

Jaejoong stood by the kitchen entryway and watched as Nikki continued her phone conversation on the living room sofa completely unaware that she had an audience. He couldn’t help but notice the look on her face as she spoke to the unknown person. One minute she looked stressed, the next almost sad, then worried, then suddenly hopeful and then even happy. Jaejoong wondered who it was that could invoke such a range of emotion from their normally ever-happy Noona.

 

“Are you sure that would be ok? I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble or anything,” she answered with a worried look. “You know how people are.”

 

“Are you sure?” she questioned, her smile was back on her face in an instant.

 

“Ok,” she replied, her smile widening at the thought, as she reached up and flipped her long hair off her shoulder. “Sounds like fun. I’ll see you then. Ok?”

 

“I will be. I promise,” she responded with an even deeper and sincere smile “Have a good night.”

 

“Bye,” she answered before slowly pulling the phone from her ear and ending the call with a sigh.

 

“Hey,” called out Jaejoong softly as he watched Nikki drop her phone on the coffee table and lean back against the sofa.

 

“Jae,” she called out, slightly surprised by his sudden appearance, as she turned and took in his conflicted facial expression. “You...your home.”

 

“Yeah,” he responded with a sigh.

 

Nikki watched as Jaejoong quietly crossed the room and settled into one of the white wingback chairs sitting to the left of the couch.

 

“Everything ok?” she questioned hesitantly.

 

“I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” breathed out Jaejoong, his exhaustion -both mentally and physically- widely apparent as he sunk further into the chair and slumped his shoulders in defeat.

 

“Ok,” she answered understandingly.

 

They sat in silence for a few moments, neither one really looking at one another. Jaejoong slowly began to feel the same awkwardness that he had felt with her earlier in the day, and it made him feel uncomfortable. Deciding to break the perceptible tension he felt, he spoke up again.

 

“Who was on the phone?” he questioned.

 

Nini chuckled gentle, a smile instantly on her face, as she shook her head.

 

“Su,” she answered.

 

“What did he have to say?” questioned Jaejoong as he studied her face. “Anything interesting?”

 

“Loads,” she laughed. “As usual.”

 

“What did he want?” prompted Jaejoong.

 

“To scold his Noona,” she said with a wry smile.

 

“What did you do?” asked Jaejoong with a soft chuckle.

 

“Apparently if I disappear for more than a day, these days, it’s a national emergency or something,” she responded with a laugh of her own.

 

Jaejoong shot her a questioning gaze that begged for more of explanation.

 

“The company didn’t tell him I went on vacation to Japan,” she continued. “He went to my apartment.”

 

“And when you weren’t there, he went off the deep end,” responded Jaejoong knowingly.

 

“Yeah.” she sighed.

 

“I look like,” he outright laughed. “You’re finally starting to realize just who, between the five of us, is the real mom.”

 

Nikki looked at him suspiciously. She understood Jaejoong’s reference since their fans had always seen Jaejoong as the mother figure of the group while Yunho was supposed to be the dad, but she wasn’t quite understanding what he meant.

 

“Everyone thinks I’m the mom around here,” chuckled Jaejoong. “But it’s Su who’s the real mother hen. Especially when it comes to people he really cares about.”

 

“I see,” she smiled. “That does explain a lot. Did you know that the day before I left he lectured me for thirty minutes...after he ran into me at like nine o’clock at night at the company and I told him I hadn’t had anything to eat since like breakfast? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in such a huff.”

 

“Well, yeah,” laughed Jaejoong. “He’s a real stickler for people eating. It’s a Korean thing.”

 

Nikki suddenly died laughing, flopping back against the couch, her hand on her heart.

 

“What’s so funny?” questioned Jaejoong.

 

“It’s not a Korean thing,” she laughed. “It’s, a fan, thing.”

 

“Huh?” asked Jaejoong, completely perplexed.

 

“That is so ironic! Do you have any idea how many of your fans openly joke about kidnapping you and Junsu?” she quipped. “Just so they can feed you because you always look so skinny?”

 

“What? Really?” stammered Jaejoong in disbelief.

 

“Yes, really,” she answered with a smile. “You guys don’t .really get fans, do you. All you see are the lunatics that crowd around you at airports, you, stalk you, and hack your SNS accounts. You never really see the real fans.”

 

“Real fans?” questioned Jaejoong, slightly offended by Nikki’s words.

 

“Yes, Jae...Your real fans,” she answered immediately in a slightly condescending tone. “You know...The ones who worry about you all the time. The ones that pray every day for your safety, your health, and your happiness. The ones who fear that you are running yourselves into an early grave, not eating, always working, never resting."

 

"The ones who would be glad to see all of you take a year vacation to some uncharted Caribbean island, so you could just rest and relax. To them, the music: be damned. Your health and welfare is their utmost concern.”

 

“It always has been, from day one,” she added with a nod.

 

 “They sound a lot like you,” smiled Jaejoong.

 

“Of course they do,” she answered with a determined smile as she pounded her chest proudly. “Because we are all sisters in the same cause.”

 

Jaejoong instantly started laughing, not because of what he had learned but simply because of the way his Noona looked in that moment. All bright eyes and determined smile. Slowly his amusement abated and when he had finally caught his breath he looked at her and flashed a grateful smile.

 

“Thanks, Noona,” he said lovingly. “You always know how to cheer me up, even when I don’t know myself.”

 

“It’s what I do,” she said almost mischievously as she rubbed the back of her fingernails against her shoulder twice and then blew at them like she was the best of the best.

 

“Feeling better?” she asked with a curious smile.

 

“Much,” he chuckled.

 

“Good,” she sighed, the sound of which sounded heavy with relief.

 

“Speaking of us,” ventured Jaejoong after a few quiet moments had passed.

 

“Oh?” she questioned.

 

“I wanted to ask you something,” he stated. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now but I never knew if I should ask you –since you seemed to dislike those sort of questions.”

 

“There are no wrong questions, Jaejoong,” she advised. “Only wrong answers.”

 

“Go ahead and ask. I’m an open book after all,” she urged reassuringly.

 

Jaejoong thought for a moment. He knew what he wanted to ask, but was unsure of how to ask it. After his talk with Junsu, about how the man felt about their Noona, he oftentimes felt himself wondering if Nikki might have some similar feelings for his little brother. He knew her stance on dating artists, what she had been through in the past, and why she chose to be single for life because of it, but in his heart of hearts he wondered if that commitment to never dating an artist extended to never having feelings for one as well.

 

To a stranger’s eyes, should they see how Nikki and Junsu interacted, they already looked like a couple. They were always close, always talking and laughing, always affectionate. They would talk on the phone or text one another often when they weren’t together and many times they would wait for one another to finish the day’s work, have a coffee or a snack together, before calling it a night and going their separate ways. Though Jaejoong was loathed to entertain the idea, for the most part, he couldn’t help but wonder even more after overhearing their phone conversation and catching the flickering emotions in Nikki’s face.

 

“What is it?” she questioned softly, the worry in her eyes immediately present when Jaejoong didn’t speak up.

 

“Nothing serious,” he admonished with a smile as he suddenly thought of a way to ask her without really asking her. “It’s a hypothetical. Still, want to hear it?”

 

“Sure, shoot,” she answered with a confirming nod.

 

“Ok,” he sighed deeply before mustering up his courage and continuing. “If we lived in a world where Dong Bang Shin Ki never existed...we never debuted, we were never famous, and we never released an album...But we were still close friends.”

 

“Ok,” she said suspiciously.

 

“And you met the three of us,” he began again. “And each one of us: Me, Su, and Chunnie, came up to you and asked you out on a date...all at the same time...which one of us would you choose?”

 

“That would depend,” she answered immediately.

 

“On what exactly?” he replied.

 

“Whether or not all three of you would have, in this obvious alternate universe, the same personalities,” she elaborated. “And whether or not I still had the same life experiences I have had until now.”

 

“Yes,” clarified Jaejoong, understanding the point she was trying to make. “You are still the same and we are still the same.”

 

“So,” she ventured. “What you’re really asking me is...if I met the three of you and you were interested in me, which one of you would I choose to date and eventually marry since you wouldn’t be an idol any more...?”

 

Jaejoong nodded, signaling that she understood him. Nikki instantly sighed.

 

“You’re right,” she answered. “I don’t like these sort of questions. They cause nothing but problems.”

 

Jaejoong suddenly felt he needed to apologize and went to open his mouth but Nikki suddenly waved him off.

 

“It’s fine,” she acquiesced “I’ll answer, but I get the feeling it won’t be the one you are expecting.”

 

“If I had to choose,” she answered after a long pause. “It would probably be Chunnie.”

 

“Yoochun? REALLY?” Jaejoong nearly shouted. “But why?”

 

“I don’t know, logistics maybe?” she quipped. “Chunnie is not as old as you, and not as young as Su. He used to live in America, understands my family’s customs, and can speak English well. He has a more laid back in personality, less prone to go behind his woman’s back and do something without her knowing, he’s very considerate of others, talkative, and has a twisted sense of humor.”

 

“That’s for sure.” chuckled Jaejoong softly before pressing the matter forward. “But is that what you look for in a guy?”

 

“Not especially, no. But between the three of you Chunnie would be the best suited for getting along with my natural personality more than you or Su,” she answered. “Aside from the obvious difference between you and me, preference wise, I mean... and the difference between me and Su...age wise.”

 

“So you wouldn’t even consider Junsu,” he questioned, understanding immediately why he was completely off the table. “Just because, he so much younger than you?”

 

“I didn’t say that,” she answered quickly. “It’s just...Chunnie and I have the same personality type so it stands to reason that he and I would make a better match.”

 

“I have never denied the fact that when it comes to all three of you, you each have qualities that I like...that I’m attracted to,” she continued. “But, then again, I’m not some starry-eyed teenager oblivious to the real world."

 

"For you Jae, you’re too aloof and cold sometimes. I want someone I can talk to, someone that listens to me and talks to me. You’re just too quiet, especially when something’s bothering you.”

 

“And Junsu?” he instantly prompted.

 

“Su,” she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment as if she was forcing away and unwanted thought, before opening her eyes once more. “Su is just...not the right person for me.”

 

Before Jaejoong could say another word and asked her what she meant by that exactly, Nikki immediately cut him off.

 

“But all of this is a moot point, Jae,” she stated, almost firmly, as she pushed herself off the couch and stood. “Because we live in a world where you three are artists, you are celebrities loved all around the world, and I am just a stylist. There’s no need to indulge in what-ifs Jaejoong, the reality is more important.”

 

“Noona,” sighed Jaejoong, suddenly feeling like he had crossed an imaginary line by the abnormally cold tone in Nikki’s voice.

 

“I’m tired,” she sighed in return, reaching up and rubbing her temple. “I’m going to go to bed.”

 

“Get some rest Jae,” she added, turning her eyes away from Jaejoong and taking a step towards one of the hotel's suit’s back bedrooms.

 

Before Jaejoong could say another word, Nikki was gone.

 

“Damn it,” exasperated Jaejoong, knowing full well that he had somehow overstepped his bounds, as he frustratingly ran his hand through his hair and worried if he had offended her.

 

 

 

[September 8th: Narita International Airport, VIP Lounge; Tokyo, Japan 09:30 AM]

 

“Why are you so giggly?” questioned Jaejoong softly as he looked at his Noona sitting beside him with a bright and playful smile on her face.

 

“First class lounge,” she answered, immediately taking a sip from her glass of fresh, hand-squeezed, orange juice adorned with a little pink umbrella.

 

“You’ve never,” questioned Jaejoong, completely shocked, as he saw her immediately shake her head no. “Really?”

 

“Mom taught me to never spend money you didn’t have to,” she quipped cheerfully. “I always fly coach.”

 

Jaejoong was slightly astonished by Nikki’s admittance. His very first international flight had been first class, and not one since then had he ever flown any other way. It had never dawned on him that Nikki had never flown first class. As he watched her happily sipping her drink and nibbling on a few sweet green grapes, he thought about their flights overseas since the tour started. Had the company really stuck her in economy seating, while he and his brothers rode in first class? The very thought instantly annoyed him.

 

“Well,” he smiled. “I guess you’re in for a real treat then.”

 

“I hope so,” she laughed. “It has to be better than flying eighteen hours, from Washington DC to Seoul, in economy class.”

 

“You really did that?” he questioned incredulously.

 

“Yup!” she smiled.

 

 

 

[September 8th: Seoul, South Korea 12:45 PM]

 

“They’ll be here around nine,” informed Jaejoong as he dropped his cellphone on the kitchen counter and looked across the open expanse of his apartment at Nikki sitting on the couch.

 

“You sure you really want to tell them about her offer?” questioned Nikki.“I mean, shouldn’t you try to...I don’t know... test the waters first, instead of just diving right in?”

 

“It’s best to just get it out in the open now,” replied Jaejoong with a sigh as he walked across the living room, to the couch, and looked down at her. “It’s going to be hell either way. And I don’t want to keep the Lady waiting for too long. She’s put so much into this, it’s only fair for me to be upfront with them about it and put her out of her misery; one way or another; so to speak.”

 

“If that’s what you want,” she acquiesced before standing to her feet. “I guess I should better get going, then.”

 

“Why?” Jaejoong instantly questioned, as he reached up and grabbed her arm worriedly.

 

“You three will need your privacy,” she answered knowingly. “I shouldn’t be here. It’s none of my business.”

 

“That’s where you are wrong, Noona,” countered Jaejoong. “I’m going to need you here tonight for this.”

 

“You have to be here,” he added. “To help keep the peace.”

 

“Keep the peace?” she questioned softly, slightly confused by Jaejoong’s choice of words. “What are you talking about?”

 

“This,” he hesitated. “Won’t go over well...”

 

“With who?” she coaxed.

 

“With,” stammered Jaejoong. “Well, you’ll see.”