The night before the wedding Minseok went to bed early. He had a full day ahead of him, a day that would change his future for better or worse. He fell asleep quickly, an oddity for him anymore. And then the Autumn Leaves, the dream returned. This time he found the piece he had been missing. The memory that had been nine years gone. The memory that he so desired to recover.

***

It was autumn. He was sure of that. The color of dead leaves, the color of the earth ready to retreat into winter. It was so fresh in his mind, so vivid. He could recall the sounds, he even thought he could remember the scent of burning leaves carried on the wind.

It had been his first time away from the palace, his first time away from the men and women that followed him around and suffocated his personal space. It was freedom, freedom like he had never dreamed existed.

Laugh-that was the only thing to do. Run and laugh and feel like nothing really bound him to a young life of ceremony and circumstance. And he was not alone, his companion was laughing too, equally amazed at their newfound freedom.

His companion’s laughter was lilting, carefree. Luhan, he had discovered, was often happy, even if the occasion did not dictate joy.  For some reason he found this endearing, extremely endearing.

Luhan, he realized, was the only reason he found this slice of freedom to begin with. Luhan had waited for a moment when Minseok was alone in his chambers, a rare moment, and drug the boy out of his room and through the palace. Dressed in disguise they slipped out and ran as fast as they could, ran to the edges of the palace’s vast grounds. Free, running and playing like a pair of fifteen year old best friends should do.

“It feels sooo good out here!” Luhan giggled, running ahead of Minseok. As Minseok caught up with his friend he playfully grabbed his arm. The two began to play fight, falling to the cold ground in a mess of arms and legs.

After a few playful punches and wrestling they relaxed, laying on their backs in the cold grass. They simultaneously sighed, like they could read each other’s minds.

“I wish we could do this every day” Minseok mused.

“Yeah” Luhan replied wistfully. He sat up slightly, resting his head on his hand. He looked at his friend, who had the biggest smile he had seen in a long time painted across his face. Reaching out a hand he ruffled Minseok’s dark locks and then lowered his hand to caress his friend’s cheek affectionately. “You look so happy” he said softly.

“So do you” Minseok whispered, turning his gaze to Luhan’s carefree expression. Time seemed to stop as they looked at each other, drinking in each other’s feeling of freedom.

Minseok was too happy to pay attention to what was fast approaching, too happy to realize that his bid for freedom was found out. That is, until Luhan’s doe like eyes betrayed fear at a sight behind them. Luhan froze “Minseok, they found us” He whispered.

It was Soo Man, and he had brought a few guards with him. Luhan was afraid of Soo Man, afraid of him for what he had seen the man do to Minseok – he had hit the young prince more than once in a fit of rage. Somehow he got away with it.

It was not long before Minseok and Luhan were dragged back into the palace, to their individual quarters, ready for punishment.

The smell of autumn, the cool air that had spelled freedom, was no longer there. Minseok sat in his quarters, waiting as the afternoon became night and the night grew longer. But Soo Man never came. Instead, much to his surprise, Luhan did.

“Min? Min, are you there?” It was barely above a whisper and it was from outside his window.

“Lu?” Minseok went to the window and pushed it open enough to see a smiling Chinese boy standing in front of him, “Are you crazy! How did you get here? We are going to be killed if Soo Man finds us!”

“He won’t find us. Seems he was called away for something. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Luhan was always a reckless one but Minseok was always a good follower. Against his better judgment he followed.

The images grew hazy then, before he found himself in the gardens. Luhan was happy again. It was dark, but he always knew when Luhan was happy.

“Shhhh. Do you hear that?”

It was coming from a pagoda. Luhan put his finger to his lips and beckoned for Minseok to follow him. They crept up slowly. The words were clear.

“If he finds out about the embezzlement I am done for. Do you understand? You f-ing understand?”

It was Soo Man and he was talking to someone.

“If you weren’t so greedy maybe you wouldn’t have anything to worry about.” The other voice responded.

“Ha- you think it is greed that is my problem? You clearly don’t know who you are messing with.”

“I think I know exactly who I am messing with. Someone with half of the royal coffers in his bank account.”

Minseok felt his eyes grow wide. What was going on? Was Soo Man stealing from them? He reached an arm out and grabbed Luhan’s arm, squeezing it.

“We should go” Minseok whispered.

Luhan nodded. They turned to sneak away.

“Eavesdropping? You little royal f-cks.”

They froze. It was Soo Man. He had found them.

It was blur and then they were together, taking pictures. Soo Man was there.

“Smile”

Minseok felt dizzy, very dizzy. He clung to Luhan, following the orders they were given.

“Kiss” Luhan was like a zombie, moving as told. Minseok followed his example. There was a flashbulb.

The world grew black, fading into nothingness. And then they were in a room. Minseok was dizzy, his vision foggy. Luhan was there.

“If your Father had any sense he would have dealt with it himself. But then again, he never was one to get his hands dirty.” Soo Man was standing over him.

Minseok tried to stand, but his legs were wobbly. He felt Luhan lean into him.

“So, we are going to have a little fun? Or should I say, you are going to have a little fun.”

Minseok could hear Luhan throw up, but everything was so blurry, so unfocused. He tried to keep Soo Man in his sights. The royal advisor walked towards them, grabbing Luhan’s wrist.

“And this is what happens to annoying little royal f-cks that eavesdrop.”

Minseok saw the knife before it had made contact. Soo Man held it, pushing it into Luhan’s hand. Luhan was struggling, but he was not strong enough. He was still a boy, still a boy who was no match for an adult with evil intent.

The knife sliced through Minseok’s wrist, the blood began flowing.  Minseok collapsed to his knees, the world spinning. Luhan looked at him, shocked, holding the knife.

Soo Man stepped back, walking across the room.

“Smile” It was a flashbulb. And then there was nothing.

***

Yixing was ready to retire for the night. He had a day ahead of him, attending to Princess Nauen as she played the royal bride. He had one last thing he had to do, however, before he could find the sleep he so needed. Chanyeol had called him and asked him to fetch something from Luhan’s room.

As Yixing reached the room he was nearly knocked down by Prince Minseok.

“Where is Luhan?!” Minseok was wild eyed, and looked kind of scary in Yixing’s opinion.

“He left. Back to China.” Yixing answered, feeling a bit off put as Minseok grabbed his collar.

“China? He left for China?! When?”

“A few hours ago. He Okayed his return with the Emperor” Yixing was not exactly sure what was wrong with the Korean Prince, but the man did not look well.

“Can you call him?”

“He is in the air right now.” Yixing said. Thankfully Minseok let go of his collar.

Minseok felt like the world was crumbling. Luhan was gone? Gone? He pushed his way into Luhan’s room, looking around. He did not want to believe it. Why, now, when he knew the truth, was Luhan gone.

It was then he saw the letter. It was sitting on the bed, his name spelled out clearly on the front of the paper.

“Your majesty, Chanyeol asked me to retrieve that-“ Yixing followed Minseok into the room. Chanyeol had definitely said the letter. Get the letter, Luhan didn’t want it to be found any more. He had changed his mind.

“It is for me…” Minseok opened it, ignoring the Chinese servant’s protests.

Yixing did not move, he couldn’t rip a letter out of the Korean Crown Prince’s hands.

Minseok sank onto the bed, sitting down he began to read.

Dear Minseok,

Congratulations on your wedding. I am not sure if you will already be married when you read this, but congratulations none the less. Treat Nauen well, she deserves it.

I am going back to China, I do not think I will return to Korea in this lifetime. I think you would agree that we share only pain and bad memories, the things both of us are better off not remembering. Which is why I am writing you this letter. There is a bad memory I know about, a bad memory that I did not tell you because I was scared.

Not telling you was one of the worse mistakes I ever made. It was the most cowardly thing I have done and I will never not regret it.

When I met with Soo Man the night of the engagement party he showed me a picture. It was from when your wrist was cut. It was proof, proof that I had done it. I don’t know why I did but I know that I was the one that did that to you. How I could have I cannot even begin to understand. But I did.

I assume you hate me, and I see no reason why you would feel otherwise. I would apologize but there is nothing an apology will do.

Minseok we are all pain and hurt. There is nothing to apologize for any more. There is no reason for us to ever see each other.

Live your life. Be happy. Go forward.

Luhan

“Are you okay?” Yixing watched the Prince as tears began flowing.

Minseok was not okay. He would never be okay, not until he fixed this.

“I need to see Luhan.” He whispered.

Yixing stood motionless as Minseok left the room, his strides wide and purposeful.  Yixing felt nervous, this was not what should be happening the night before a royal wedding.

***

“You are crazy. Do you realize you are crazy?!” Jong Dae said it- but he still went along with the plan.

Minseok said nothing, which scared Jong dae more than if the man had burst into sobs or started screaming his head off. He had been worried enough when Minseok had woken him up and told him they had to leave. Right then. To China.

Jong Dae should have stopped Minseok, but he went along with him. Because he knew Minseok well enough, knew his sense of responsibility and his dearth of emotions enough to take it pretty seriously when something like this occurred. Minseok was going to leave for China, with or without Jong Dae. Jong Dae decided it was best if he went with him.

“It is Luhan, isn’t it?” Jong Dae asked without expecting an answer. “Of course it is. Why am I asking? So we are going to show up and bust into the Forbidden City to see Luhan?”

“I have to see him. Jong Dae…..”  Minseok swallowed “I remembered”

Suddenly Jong Dae had nothing to say. At least nothing much to say that was worth saying. He did manage to mutter:

“Holy sh*t”