Chapter 15

“I’ll visit often, I promise, it just won’t be every day. I can’t stay in South Korea for long, my residency is in London and there’s work that I have to do. But I will always spare my time for you, okay?” said Hyukjae, who was given a moment alone with his brother after he begged for it. They weren’t really alone though, there was a police waiting by the door, and most probably a few more outside of the room. As if he cared. Hyukjae just needed to talk to his brother.

Kyuhyun nodded, and thin smile playing on his lips, “Alright, hyung. I understand. I know you’re still here with me, even if you’re far away, and that’s enough.” And for a moment the two siblings just stared at each other, full of longing.

“Your 5 minutes are up, Mr Lee Hyukjae.”

“I know!” Hyukjae couldn’t control himself and accidentally yelled a bit. He apologized, though it sounded a little insincere. The brothers stood up and Hyukjae helped Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around him as his hands were cuffed. He patted Kyuhyun on his back, caressing his hair with one hand, “I won’t leave you, and I’ll wait for you to come home,” he whispered softly.

“Thank you, Hyukjae hyung. Can you do me a favour?”

“Say it and I’ll do it.”

“Can you please tell Donghae I’m sorry and thank you on my behalf? I don’t know why he helped me, but if it wasn’t for him, my sentence would has been worse,” Kyuhyun was dumbfounded while he listened to Donghae’s testimony. The man hated him, that was so apparent and he had every rights to be.

Hyukjae stiffened slightly for a second, fortunately Kyuhyun didn’t notice, “Sure. I will.”

“And can you delete all of his photos in my phone? Those were all captured without his permission and that’s the most I could do for now. My phone is in my bag. It has been so long since I last charge it, so I think you have to change the battery first.”

“I will, Kyuhyun.”

“It’s time to go,” the police by the door opened it and two other men came in. The hug was then broken, and with one last smile from Kyuhyun, Hyukjae was left alone in the room.

As he walked outside, Hyukjae knew he couldn’t hope for a better ending to all this. At the very least – though it would be behind bars – he could still see Kyuhyun. It was only for 3 years, he told himself, and after those 3 years, things will be back to usual. By usual, he meant before he pretended to be Eunhyuk, before he agreed to help Donghae, before he even knew a man named Lee Donghae. The only different would be he did know a man named Lee Donghae. Hyukjae sighed, thinking about that.

When he saw a cab nearing where he stood, Hyukjae raised his hand to hail it, but, it wasn’t only him who needed a taxi home. The cab stopped in front of him, but as he reached for the handle, another hand had grabbed it first and his was pressed to that hand, “Hey! I hailed the cab.”

“Excuse me! I –” the two people looked at each other, and Hyukjae’s eyes didn’t blink went he was looking straight in Donghae’s. While they were busy staring at each other, a woman came and went into the cab, leaving the two there at the side of the road, still drown in each other’s eyes. Only when a couple of cats were meowing loudly, fighting over something they didn’t bother to know, did the eye contact broke and both were looking around, one at the ground and the other at the cats.

“Hello,” Hyukjae, the one looking at the cats, try to make the situation less tense. He remembered what Kyuhyun asked him to do, and he knew he couldn’t fulfil the favour if he acts like a shy high school girl.

“Hey,” said Donghae, finally looking up at Hyukjae again, though only for a brief moment.

“Can we talk for a while?” the other nodded and they went to sit at the bus stop. Only the two of them were there, and silence enveloped them. There were some space between them and Hyukjae breathed out a long sigh, puffing his cheeks, before he finally had the courage to move slightly closer, “My brother said he was sorry for what he had done, and he also asked me to thank you on his behalf.” Hyukjae rubbed his hands together, the air getting chilly as the Sun was slowly disappearing.

Slowly Donghae nodded, “I’ll try forgiving him. 3 years my subconscious had hated him, so, now that I am conscious about it, maybe it will slowly dissipate. I’m curious about something though. He seemed pretty determined when he came to… you know. But after he saw Eunhyuk, he wavered. Why?”

Hyukjae smiled, bittersweet, “He thought Eunhyuk was me. For 3 years, he thought he killed me, his own brother. During those times he was silently punishing himself for what he had did. Maybe it was because he though he murdered me. But, knowing him my whole life, even if he knew it wasn’t me, he would have tortured himself for doing such things.”

“Then, maybe I did the right thing in defending him slightly. It sounded like he suffered just as much as I did.” Donghae was fooling with himself. He already knew he did the right thing when Hyukjae smiled at him in the courtroom. But knowing Kyuhyun really did felt remorse did make him felt it was a fair decision.

Silence surrounded them again. The sky had beautiful shades of orange and purple when they looked at it at the same time, admiring it.

Hyukjae once again broke the silence, “So, what are you planning to do after this?” he awkwardly asked.

Donghae shrugged, “I don’t know. Probably back to London.”

“Same. I have loads of work to do. It’s going to be hectic during the first month I’m back to work,” Hyukjae had his hand on his neck, rubbing it to emphasize how tiring it would get.

Deep inside him, Donghae realized those works must have piled up while the other was with him. But he didn’t want to mention it, “What do you work as?”

“I own a Mercedes Store, since I was 24. Opened it myself with the insurance money me and my brother received after the death of our parents. If you want to get a new car, call me,” Hyukjae grinned.

Donghae chuckled at that, and then he realized something, “We lived in a house for more than 2 months together. It’s funny how I barely know anything about you,” ‘and have fallen for you’ Donghae refrained from saying the last bit that was just at the tip of his tongue. The smile on his face didn’t waver though.

“I wasn’t really being me, so it’s no wonder you don’t,” Hyukjae was still smiling too, only it seemed a bit force now.

“Oh… not being you, right? I forgot it was an act to help me,” remembering that shattered Donghae’s heart. He stood up then, suddenly feeling he better be far away from the other, “I’m sorry, for burdening you. I – I know it must be hard to take care of me. I’m so clingy and everything. It must have bothered you immensely since you’re not gay like me. So thank you, for trying hard to help me. And you did help me,” Donghae was speaking in quite a fast pace, trying to hide his paining heart with a smile.

Hyukjae was shocked to suddenly hear Donghae apologizing to him. No, no, no, he was never bothered by Donghae clinging to him, he liked it. Seriously, he was in love with Donghae, so he could never be a burden to him. But his words were choking him, and Hyukjae didn’t know how to express his feelings. It was suffocating until he couldn’t pull a smile, “Donghae…”

A bus was getting closer to the bus stop and it was Donghae’s ride to Heechul’s house, “Thank you once again. You have helped me tremendously, and I appreciate it. But, let’s not meet again.”

“No, Donghae –”

Donghae turned his back on Hyukjae, “Know that I have actually fallen for you. That’s why we cannot meet again; I can’t afford to love another that won’t love me back.” Donghae stepped on the bus and a few second after, the door was closed and the bus drove away. Hyukjae still stood there, couldn’t fully comprehend what had just taken place.

Donghae leaned against the window of the bus, his eyes closed. This was for the best, he told himself. He was hurting all this time, and had just started healing. He didn’t want to be hurt again, not when he was pretty sure he would be hurt. Why take a risk? He loved Hyukjae, and he loved him for himself, not only because of his looks. So he decided that he’ll let that feeling stay in his heart. Eunhyuk said making someone smile would be his happiness, he did made Hyukjae smile, and that was enough for Donghae. He had found his happiness.

Hyukjae arrived at his hotel room when it was almost 10. He got showered, prepared for bed and prepared for his flight tomorrow. As he packed his things, he remembered about Kyuhyun’s phone. He found it, but Kyuhyun was right, the battery was not useable anymore. Hyukjae thought of just throwing the phone away and getting his brother a new one when he was released, then he saw a memory card in it. Placing the card into his phone, he was able to access a lot of videos and pictures, mostly Donghae’s.

Hyukjae scrolled through the pictures of Donghae, and a soft smile played on his lips. His mind went back to what Donghae had said to him. It hurt him that Donghae would never want to see him again, but knowing Donghae actually loved him back was like a painkiller for his heart. If only he had confess to the other. But, Hyukjae knew he couldn’t live in ifs. Plus, he didn’t how Kyuhyun would react if he discovered his feeling for Donghae. So, knowing they love each other was enough for Hyukjae.

He pressed ‘select all’ and all the pictures and videos were marked. Hyukjae’s finger hovered over the delete button, but he never clicked it.

“The rates have gone up a bit higher than last year, but our sales are not decreasing and we are still able to reach our targets for every month. So –”

Hyukjae cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him, “You may go on with the meeting as per usual, Ryeowook will check over your works. I have to leave now but I want to see your reports on my table tomorrow.” He stood up, grabbed his coat and draped over his arm before he left the room.

Today was a special day, he thought to himself as he drove to the airport. He had been waiting for this day for more than 3 years and it finally came. He parked his car, putting on his grey coat before he entered and went straight to the arrival area. His arms were crossed on his chest and his foot was tapping lightly against the marbled floor as he waited and waited.

Then he saw him.

Kyuhyun, his brother.

After 3 years, he was able to hug his brother again. He didn’t care about the people staring at them, he missed his brother and they all didn’t get it, “I missed you.”

“Hyung, we just met a week ago.”

“Yes, but not here, where our home is. Now, let’s go. You look like a zombie with your red eyes and sleepy face. You must have slept too much on the flight, right?” Hyukjae carried the single backpack Kyuhyun was carrying with him.

“Don’t nag, Hyukjae hyung,” Kyuhyun whined with his sleepy face, “I just got here.”

“Fine. I’ll nag tomorrow.” They got into the car and Hyukjae drove them home. The ride was pretty noisy as they talked about how annoying the government was for not letting Kyuhyun came back to London right after he was released. Hyukjae was so frustrated when he had to explain countless times that Kyuhyun’s residency was here, not in South Korea.

They arrived at their house soon after and Kyuhyun collapsed on the couch, “So tired,” his eyes were droopy.

“You don’t want to eat first before you rest?” Hyukjae shouted from his room.

“No, I’m still full and just want to sleep.”

Kyuhyun was almost asleep, almost. But then Hyukjae came and jumped onto the couch, “Kyuhyun-ah!”

If it wasn’t because he was tired, Kyuhyun would have yelled. He sat up, with his eyes still shut, “What?” A small parcel was dropped onto his lap, and Hyukjae urged him to open it. It was a phone, just like Hyukjae’s. Kyuhyun hugged his brother, thanking him and was excited for the gift, no longer feeling sleepy, “Give me your phone. I’ll add you in the contact list.”

Without hesitation, Hyukjae gave his iPhone to his brother, leaving him with it as he went to the kitchen to get some snack since he was hungry. When he came back to the living room though, he found Kyuhyun sitting there, eyes staring at his phone screen and not blinking at all. Then it clicked. His wallpaper, his wallpaper that he had never changed since Donghae did. He placed the chips on the table and grabbed his phone out of Kyuhyun’s hand, panicking even more when he saw that the gallery was open and it showed pictures of Donghae he had taken from Kyuhyun’s memory card.

“Hyung? Hyukjae hyung?” Kyuhyun called but did not get a response. He stood up and walked in front of Hyukjae, “You’re with him?” he asked straightforwardly. Hyukjae didn’t want to answer and stayed silent. “Hyung! Answer me.”

“No, I’m not with him, Kyu.”

“Then why was he in that picture with you?”

“That picture was long ago, nearly 4 years back. I haven’t seen him since we were last at the court.”

“You’re not answering my question. I asked why, not when,” Kyuhyun placed the phones on the couch and he gently grabbed Hyukjae’s upper arms, “Tell me, hyung. Tell me everything and I promise I won’t be mad.”

Hyukjae looked into Kyuhyun’s deep, dark brown orbs and he let it all out as they sat on the sofa. He told him how he had met Donghae, what had happened after that, and he told Kyuhyun he had asked Donghae to help him in court. He didn’t left out a single detail, even the part where Donghae admit he loved Hyukjae, he couldn’t as he didn’t want Kyuhyun to misinterpret anything. “Kyuhyun, I really didn’t mean for it all to happen. I didn’t know who he was to you. If I’ve known –”

His brother hushed him and then, surprisingly for Hyukjae, Kyuhyun smiled, “It’s alright, hyung. I said I won’t be mad, didn’t I? And I’m not.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. You can’t control who you love, I understand concept. And I couldn’t be mad to you. You didn’t know that he was the one I like,” a bittersweet smile was on Kyuhyun’s face.

“Kyu, it’s all in the past now. I’m not seeing him or anything. I just kept his pictures. I could delete them, erase them all, erase him, and we will never speak of him ever again.”

His brother grabbed his hand and held them tightly, “Hyung, you sacrificed enough for me. Don’t erase him; I know you don’t want to. So, why not go after him?” Hyukjae stared at him in disbelieve. “What? I said something wrong?”

Hyukjae shook his head, “You want me to go after him? No, no, no.”

“Why?”

“Because it won’t be fair for you. You loved him first.”

“But he doesn’t love me back. Besides, you deserve him better than I do. I loved him in the wrong way; maybe it shouldn’t even be called love.”

Hyukjae tried reasoning, “Whatever, Kyuhyun. I’m not going after him. He moved on.”

“He said he loves you.”

“But he didn’t know I love him back, right? Who knows maybe he already likes someone else?”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. His brother was always confident in other matters and always had faith, but now? “Fine if you don’t want to try. But if you ever meet him again, don’t go against fate and tell him you love him. You get it?”

“No!”

“Yes, you do. Now, bye. I’m going to sleep. By the way, hyung, somehow, I always knew you were gay, or at least biual.”

Hyukjae was only able to sigh. But then he smiled, glad his brother didn’t change a bit.

“One espresso and one white coffee. Coming right up,” the man walked quickly to place the order. He grabbed the tray containing the scrambled eggs and an English breakfast for table 5 and sent it there before he went to take orders from the new customers who just came in, “Welcome. What would you like to drink?”

The man was Lee Donghae, a waiter who had been working for the Dawson’s café since 3 years ago when he came back from South Korea. This was his life now, and his next aim was to be a barista. During the 3 years, he was happy, alive, and living his own life, not someone else’s. Some of the regular customers who had already became accustomed with asked why was he working here when he could open up his own coffee shop, judging by the Bentley he drove every morning.

Donghae would always answer them with, “I’m working here neither because I need money nor because I’m bored. I work here because I want to feel alive.”

He had friends here. He found a friend in Mr and Mrs Dawson, though they always show fatherly or motherly love. He mostly eats together with them for lunch and dinner. Mr Jackson would visit him too sometimes, drinking coffee with his wife here. And Heechul was always lingering around when he came to London every few months.

Donghae would always go home to an empty house, with no one waiting for him. But, he told himself, as long as his heart was not empty, he could live like this and won’t go mental. He had gone to a check up with a psychiatrist a couple of years ago, and he was proven to not have any mental disorder. So, he guessed he had been living well. Eunhyuk would be proud of him, he was sure.

The café was closed and after another dinner with the Mr and Mrs Dawson, he went to change out of his work clothes. It was November and the weather was rather cold, so Donghae put on his long coat and wrapped his favorite scarf around his neck, his blue checked scarf. He bid goodnight to the couple and left the shop. Though, the weather was chilly, Donghae suddenly felt like walking around the town. So, he abandoned his car and started going wherever his legs were leading him. The last time he had done this was 2 months ago. It felt great to just keep walking like this.

Hyukjae had a rough day at work and he wanted to get his mind off it. When he got home, he changed into more comfortable clothing, not forgetting a scarf for his neck. Kyuhyun asked where he was going, and he only answered, “A place to breathe,” before he left the house.

He didn’t use his car and instead just walked around. Sometimes he looked down on the pavement, sometimes he looked up at the stars and moon, sometimes he looked at the shop he passed by. Two friendly looking men smiled at him, and Hyukjae smiled back and raised a hand to them. He continued walking then, still aimlessly. When he was about to turn at the corner though, he stopped on his track as he almost bumped into someone.

And time seemed to stop when their eyes met, just like nearly 4 years ago in front of the court. Nothing seemed to matter besides than the person standing in front of them.

“Donghae.”

“Hyukjae.”

It took Donghae a moment to notice the red scarf Hyukjae was wearing, and when he did, he smiled a really beautiful smile. His eyes got teary too as he thought about all those years he spent still loving this man in front of him, thinking he would never be loved back, thinking he must have been forgotten.

Hyukjae remembered something Kyuhyun asked him to do, and he thought this might be the right moment, “Lee Hyukjae loves Lee Donghae, for real and he is gay because of you. He should have told you that sooner.”

“He really should have. He shouldn’t have made me waited for years, thinking my love was one sided, while he knows I love him.”

“Then, do you still love Lee Hyukjae?”

“I do. I love Lee Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae wrapped his arms around Donghae’s waist while the other cupped his face. Their lips moved in sync, and their eyes were closed, savouring their first ever kiss as Lee Hyukjae and Lee Donghae.

They stayed in each other’s arms for a moment longer, and Donghae once remembered Eunhyuk’s words, “The walk we share is the most important part of love, since without the walk, we would never found each other.”

And Donghae would have never found Hyukjae if he didn’t take the walk out of his past.

And so, this story comes to an end. I like the ending, I don't know if you would like it too, but for me, I don't think this story could have a better one.  If you're wondering why I didn't mark this complete yet, it's because there will be an epilogue if I have enough time to write it before the dateline of the contest. If no, then this is bye bye. Thanks to all who reads the story. I know this story is not perfect, but it's the best story I've written and the first one I've completed. I don't have to win the contest, because when you all give me feedbacks about you loving this story, I already win. See you all next time, okay? In another story maybe? Signing off. Bye. I LOVE YOU.