Chapter 13

Hyukjae was miserable; maybe distraught would fit him better at that time. He was sitting by himself in the police station, his face void of any emotions and no one was paying him any attention as he sat there, mind occupied with only his brother who had just talk to before Kyuhyun was forcefully taken away from him for the second time that day. Well, to him it was forcefully.

They were sitting in the room and they had a glass between them. Hyukjae kept talking through all the time he was given, trying to reassure Kyuhyun that he will help him get out of this mess without any sentences upon him, “I will hire the best lawyer I could find here. You have nothing to worry about. Just be patient, alright? After this, no one will separate us again. I promise you.”

During Hyukjae’s longwinded talk, Kyuhyun’s eyes did not meet his. His brother was silence for the whole time. He had a stony face and was fiddling with his shirt, gripping the edge tightly before he said; “Go away,” still with an unreadable face. And Hyukjae stopped talking for a moment, just staring into his brother’s soulless eyes when they finally met.

Those words stabbed him hard. There he was, worried as hell, trying to soothe his brother – and himself – that things will work out fine. But he was pushed away. But looking through those sorrowful eyes that were just as red as his, the stab was healing. Hyukjae could see the guilt, the loneliness, the longing, and the fear that was asking him for help. He knew his brother; Kyuhyun didn’t mean what he said. It was so bittersweet how his brother clearly wanted him but he pushed him away instead in an attempt to not burden him; Hyukjae couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m not going to let you go again, alright? No matter what you say, no matter what anyone says,” to emphasize how serious he was, he pressed his hand against the glass, urging Kyuhyun to the same. His brother was clearly reluctant to do it, but Hyukjae said his name softly, just like how he would call him to give his brother a hug after a patty fight they had sometimes, “Kyuhyun-ah?” And then Kyuhyun raised his shaking hand, if only just to know his hyung would be there for him. But, suddenly a loud ring was heard and a police came, taking Kyuhyun’s arm and pulled him out of the room. Kyuhyun left without any fight, and all he managed to do was brushing his long fingers on the glass; right on Hyukjae’s palm.

So right now, Hyukjae sat there himself, contemplating what he needed to get done in order to turn his words into reality. While racking his brain, trying to create a list of famous lawyers he knew, Hyukjae’s mind wandered to Donghae out of nowhere. He was suddenly thinking of how was the man right then, after he had learned the truth. And something snapped inside of Hyukjae. His eyes widened as he realized that this case must had been open by Donghae 3 years ago. His hand went to his mouth as he also realized how Donghae was one of the witnesses for the case, the most important witness.

And Hyukjae knew Donghae must be coming to Seoul.

Heechul did not tell Donghae why they were going back to Seoul. He had all night to think by himself about what he should do as the other slept, though Heechul was always staring at Donghae as he twisted and the bed with his face clearly showing he was in a trouble sleep, just like the previous nights. Heechul made up his mind as he stared at his friend, that he would explain it all later. They weren’t going to go to the court in a month anyway, so why not give the poor kid some time, right? But then again, they still need to meet the prosecutor.

Donghae was cooperative. By being cooperative it meant he was not giving any problems nor did he ask why as he followed blindly what Heechul said. When Heechul told him they were going to Seoul, he nodded. When Heechul said they were staying for a long time, he nodded. When Heechul told him he will help pack his bag, he nodded. When Heechul said, “Let’s go,” he nodded. When Heechul got angry because he didn’t say a word, he looked away.

And in that state, they arrived at Heechul’s house in Seoul after a long flight. Donghae went straight to the comfy couch instead of the room Heechul said he could slept in and lay there, closing his eyes and crossing his arms on his chest to keep the cold away. Heechul could only sigh as he looked at the younger. He kept his bag in his room and he went back to Donghae, covering him with the quilt he had taken. Then Heechul left, feeling tired himself.

Two weeks have passed, and basically nothing changes; things were done the same way when they were in London. To be honest, Heechul was getting sick of it all. He didn’t like the fact that Donghae was just like before, like 3 years ago when Eunhyuk died. Maybe he was a little better by eating and not thrashing things out, but Heechul was so tired to see his friend lifeless again.

Heechul was wrong about something though. He thought Donghae was closing up and remaining silent because of Eunhyuk’s death. But in actual fact, it wasn’t really that. And because he didn’t know this, he had turned extremely mad at his friend and confronted him.

“Can you stop the self-pity? Can you wake up, Donghae? I’m exhausted with you not accepting reality,” said Heechul as he stood in front of Donghae who was leaning against a wall and staring at the dark sky glittered by some stars through the window in his room. The younger gave no attention to him and that just fuelled Heechul more, “Look at me when I’m talking to you! Don’t just think about yourself losing someone; I lost him too. Many others were affected, but they moved on, because that is what Eunhyuk would want. You are supposed to be the first person to do what he wants. So do it! Accept he is dead! Accept he is not coming back!”

“Shut up!” Heechul was taken by surprise with that shout. He expected some resignation and maybe seeing the changes gradually happening, but this was way too different until he took a step back.

“You don’t have to remind he is dead, that he won’t be coming back. I know! Someone bloody told me. I am in reality! But, don’t I deserve to have my own little world where I could believe he is still with me? I know it’s wrong to live like this, living in the past like you said, but it is all I have; the past. Please understand me,” Donghae slid down to the floor, his back to the wall.

And Heechul kept staring.

“But you know, Heechul,” Donghae continued in a much quieter voice, making Heechul sat facing him, “I couldn’t go back to that world somehow. Something was not letting me see my Hyukkie after I was told almost two weeks ago that he had died. I’ve been sitting and thinking and doing nothing because I was wondering why. I was able to get into my world before, but after that ing someone came and lied to me about him being my Hyukkie, I couldn’t.”

And Heechul suddenly understood everything.

Heechul moved closer and hugged Donghae, knowing he needed the support, and they sat there. They weren’t crying; there weren’t any tears. It was just a friend giving comfort to another. “Maybe you have moved on, Donghae,” Heechul said, mostly to himself.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Only then Heechul remembered Mr Kim was coming to talk to Donghae today. It was the main reason why he had confronted the man in the first place; Heechul wanted to tell Donghae that he was to be the witness for Eunhyuk’s murder case. But things just slipped out of hand, and with the unexpected revelation from his friend, Heechul had forgotten all about it.

“Someone is at the door,” said Donghae as he pulled out of the hug.

Heechul stood up from the floor and moved towards the door, saying, “Yeah. It must be Mr Kim.”

Donghae nodded at first, until he realized who that was, “Kim Young Min? You mean the lawyer?” He didn’t get any answer, so Donghae stood up and followed Heechul to the door, surprised to see it really was his family’s lawyer. Heechul had let the man in and they sat together on the sofa while Donghae remained standing. Heechul didn’t want to look into the younger’s eyes so he went to fetch a glass of cold water for the lawyer.

“Hello, Donghae. Why are you standing?” Mr Kim asked, smiling to the young man. Donghae sat, somehow felt the smile wasn’t just the act of a civil man, but more of a try in making him feel at ease. “How have you been?”

“Well enough.”

“I’m sure you’re glad to know that the case has been opened again.”

“What case?”

“Eunhyuk’s murder case, what else? Didn’t Heechul tell you?” it was the lawyer who turned puzzle.

Heechul came then, setting the glass on the coffee table close to Mr Kim and sat back down. He still avoided Donghae’s gaze, which was currently fixed on him.

“Heechul, why didn’t you tell Donghae?” Mr Kim questioned him, “He needs to know as he is an important witness here.”

“I –”

“The case is open again? How?” Donghae interrupted.

“They caught the killer and –” Mr Kim started explaining but he was too cut off by Donghae.

“Wait a moment. You… you said I’m an important witness. Then, I have to tell what had happened to everyone?” Donghae sounded uncertain and his eyes showed he was not thrilled with this. Once before, they had tried making him give a statement about the case, to find out how actually the murder happened, but Donghae never spoke a word and no one could make him. And now, his breathing quickened as the thought of remembering the horrible incident was swimming in his head. He had kept all those bad memories at the back of his mind; he never wanted to remember it again.

Heechul noticed the reaction Donghae was giving, and it scared him. Donghae might have moved on, but that won’t make it any easier for him to just remember the details of that day and say it to all. But Heechul knew his friend needed this, this would help him tremendously, Heechul was certain.

“Yes, Donghae. Your testimony is really important as you were there from the beginning,” Mr Kim clarified.

“I can’t.”

“But Donghae, it’s – “

“I said I can’t! Go and find some other witnesses. There were a lot of people there, you can surely find someone,” he stood up, leaving the two man there, and went to his room. He shut the door and then his eyes. Again he pushed the images of the painful memories to the back of his mind, hoping it would never resurface again. For the next few minutes, Donghae sat on the bed, contemplating the last thing Heechul had said before they leave the room.

Did he really have moved on? Was that the reason he couldn’t find his Hyukkie now? His Hyukkie who he would always find waiting for him with a smile but not anymore? If he did moved on, then what did he moved on to? What actually made him moved on? As far as he knew, his feelings for his Hyukkie had never change. Then an annoying know-it-all voice inside of his head said, “Are you sure you’ve been in love with the same Hyukkie since before?” and Donghae felt himself about to burst.

Right then, Heechul knocked on the door and entered, “Hey,” he came closer and sat on the bed, “Mr Kim has just left, and he said he will try to find some other witnesses.”

“Good.”

“But he said to tell you to consider it again.”

Donghae sighed, “Heechul, I can’t consider it. I said I can’t, not I won’t. I can’t think about that day, Heechul hyung.”

Heechul nodded, understanding what he meant, “Alright, I get that point. Maybe it’s the best if you don’t remember it. But, I’m just thinking that this might be the perfect way for you to let go completely. You’ve never told anyone what had happened from your point of view, so letting it out my help.”

“But I can’t let it out. It’s deep inside of me, and pulling it out might just break me.”

“Okay then. If it’s that hard, then fine. I don’t want to see you broken again. Get some sleep, okay?” And Heechul left saying goodnight as he walked out. That night, shockingly, when he checked on Donghae after his friend slept, the younger’s face was showing he was in a peaceful sleep for a moment with those small curves at the corner of his lips. Heechul was smiling as he was leaving the room, but when he turned to look at Donghae again, the small curves were gone, replaced by a deep frown and furrowed eyebrows. And there was nothing he could do to flip that frown.

Hyukjae had called the man who had found Kyuhyun and brought him to his brother. He needed the man to send him somewhere. The man refused to help him at first, but relented in the end after taking a long look on Hyukjae’s state.

It was just a week before the trial, and Heechul was gone to help Mr Kim with the case. Donghae was left at home; as he still didn’t want to have anything to do with it, but he had told Heechul that he left it all in his hands to get justice for his Hyukkie.

He was just launching on the couch, doing nothing but staring into space when the doorbell rang. He went to open the door, and stumbled backwards as he saw who was standing there.

Hyukjae stood there, but he looked different from the last time Donghae had met him. Dark circles were below his eyes, his hair was not tidy, his lips were dried and cracking and he looked like he was ready to faint. And he almost did, but Donghae caught him before he hit the floor. With an arm around his waist and Hyukjae’s arm around his neck, Donghae brought him to the couch and let him sat there. He went to the kitchen and took a glass of water before going back to sit beside the man. He slipped his arm underneath Hyukjae’s neck and held the glass up to his mouth, but after only a sip, the other pushed it away.

“Drink more, it will help,” Donghae urged, bringing the glass closer again, but Hyukjae shook his head.

“The only help I need now is you, Hae. Please help me.”

“What do you need from me?” Donghae was concerned, but he didn’t show it much and he acted a bit coldly.

“Save my brother. You’re the only one who could save him,” that was followed with a series of cough. Donghae offered the drink again, but when Hyukjae pushed it away for the third time, he sat the glass on the table.

“I don’t understand you. How can I be the only one who could save him when I don’t even know who your brother is?”

Hyukjae’s hands found Donghae’s and he took it in his, gripping it tightly, “You… remembered what I said in the car, when you asked me who was in the picture? I said he was my brother. Kyuhyun is my brother. You know him, I know you do,” and Hyukjae's ragged breathing stopped as his fatigue took over him.

Donghae was too shocked to say anything. Yes, he didn’t know who was in that picture before, more like he didn’t remember who. But now he did remember.

Eunhyuk’s murderer.

Donghae sat there, with an unconscious Hyukjae on his arm.

Finally, after 2 chapters of not together, our HyukHae meet again. We are not far from the end. I hope you guys are ready. Take this and enjoy it, while I go and continue writing the next chapter. See ya.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE HYUKJAE!