(A/N: italics = flashbacks. There are a few times in this chapter where it changes between now and then. So, make sure you notice it. )

Chapter 12

Kyuhyun ran. He kept running, not caring where his legs were taking him. He heard his name being shouted countless times, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that it wasn’t just a piece of his imagination. He pressed his palms against his ears, trying his hardest to shut the voice out. No, that wasn’t his brother, Kyuhyun was certain. His legs turned weak and he fell, knees scratched against the hard ground. But Kyuhyun didn’t care about the burn it had caused, didn’t care about the blood sipping through the cuts as he wept there, now at the top of a small hill. He couldn’t even bring himself to wonder how he had gotten up there.

This was a hill Kyuhyun always went up to every other day. This was the place where he sat, would let himself wallow up in his sadness, in his self-pity, in his guilt. He didn’t know how many times he had cried himself there, had punished himself by banging his head against the trees, by hating on himself, and he too didn’t know how many times he was tempted to just jump off the hill, hoping to end the guilt and beg his brother to forgive him. What a coincidence when this was the place he had led his brother to without himself realizing.

Hyukjae was quick to chase after Kyuhyun, getting up and started running as soon as Kyuhyun fled out of the house. He shouted his brother’s name, hoping to catch his attention to show that he was really there and not just a pigment of his imagination. He was able to distinguish why Kyuhyun ran when he first saw him by what the old lady had told him. Kyuhyun should know that he did not kill his own brother 3 years ago, that there was nothing he needed to feel guilty about, not taking count the possibility that he might have killed someone else.

Hyukjae had fallen back a little while going after Kyuhyun, hadn’t been running or exercising for a while, to catch his breath. He continued up the hill, and he jogged slowly when he saw Kyuhyun sitting on the ground, hugging his knees with his head facing down. Through his ragged breathing, Hyukjae could still hear the quite sobs Kyuhyun let out every few seconds. He stopped and got down next to his brother, willing to wait until his brother could at least calm down a little more. Even if he badly wanted to comfort him, Hyukjae didn’t want Kyuhyun to be shocked.

Time passes and Kyuhyun body stopped trembling and his shoulder didn’t shook anymore, his sobs could no longer be heard. All that was visible was a stony face, ridded of any emotions, and only tears remained. Hyukjae chose this time to wrap an arm around his shoulders, “Are you okay, Kyu?”

“Please go away, I’m sorry,” came the reply from Kyuhyun, his voice soft and almost inaudible. He kept chanting those words, his eyes shut close, afraid to see whether those familiar-feeling arm was real or the opposite.

Hyukjae wrapped his other arm around Kyuhyun, hugging him sideway, and placed his head on his brother’s shoulder, “I missed you, Kyu.”

“You’re not real. You’re just my imagination, my way of making me feel less guilty. But I am. I killed you, hyung. Because of this hand we could never live a happy life, the usual life where we were happy with just the two of us, even after our parents had gone. I messed up, Hyukjae hyung. I was blinded for a moment and I forgot that family should always come first. And look what I’m doing now?” a bitter laugh left Kyuhyun’s mouth and tears were wetting both of the siblings face, “I’m trying to make myself feel better, to make myself feel less lonely, by thinking you’re hear with me, talking to me and comforting me like the real you used to do. I missed you too, hyung. I still miss you.”

Hyukjae closed his eyes, thinking of a way to lessen the sorrow his brother was feeling, and he found one, “What happened, Kyu? What are you feeling guilty for? What blinded you?” He needed to make his brother opens up to him, and maybe thinking he wasn’t real was the right way to do it.

“Love, hyung; love happened and blinded me.”

Kyuhyun was not happy, no, and saying that must be the understatement of the year. He wasn’t just not happy, he was furious, devastated, and he could feel himself going crazy. Just because of that one man, just because of that one person that he had fallen for when he had first saw him in London.

Kyuhyun was 20 when he started falling for Donghae, since he saw him at Westminster Bridge around 4 years back. The man had been alone, but he looked happy, smiling as he looked around. The man had a childish smile on his face and Kyuhyun loved it. Definitely a first-timer here, he thought. He didn’t bother going closer, watching from far seemed to be enough for him at that time. He was tempted to get to know the other, but he was shy and not a person that knows how to start a conversation. So, he thought of another way to find out more about that man and he left. He didn’t see Eunhyuk coming up to Donghae, he didn’t see them walking together with their hands in each other’s, and he didn’t see them sharing a soft kiss.

For years Kyuhyun stalked Donghae; he had known much about the man just by doing it. He knew he was older than himself, he knew he was rich as he always saw Donghae walking into shops and buying branded or exclusive items from Marc Jacob or Jordan – mostly buying two of each purchase – and eventually, after a year and a half of stalking, he found out about Donghae having a boyfriend. It took a while to get that piece of information as he didn’t really go stalking over Donghae every other day since he had to go to his classes and he didn’t want his brother to know about him stalking someone.

Kyuhyun never met this boyfriend of course, and on the rare occasions where he could see Donghae walking with a man, he could never get the chance to look at his face. But that didn’t change anything. Kyuhyun was determined to make Donghae his no matter what were the consequences. He just couldn’t take back the feeling, he had fallen too deep for this man, and he was sinking in it. So, one day, he had made a move to finally meet Donghae, following him to South Korea, after 4 long years of watching from a distance.

He had only wanted to confess, only wanted Donghae to acknowledge him. But, when Donghae literally shooed him away, saying, “I don’t know who the hell you are and I don’t want to know. I have a boyfriend, I love him so much until only death can separate us and I will never replace him for someone like you. Go away!”

That was the reply Kyuhyun had received when all he had done was coming up to the man, introduced himself, and told Donghae how he had been in love with him. It was a simple confession from him, saying he loved the man dearly and he himself didn’t know why. He came there with a smile so bright but came home with a frown so dark and a broken heart.

“I love you, Donghae. I’ve loved you for so long, since I first saw you in London few years back. If I can’t have you, what makes you think I’ll let others have you?” Kyuhyun had shouted from a distance as he walked away after being shocked with the harsh rejection, not caring whether Donghae heard him or not. He didn’t mean it, he realized later. He really didn’t. But anger got the best of him.

It didn’t help when, while he was walking aimlessly after that, he saw a man in an alley, threatening someone with a gun to get money. The man laughed while counting the money in his hands as the poor boy was harshly pushed away. Kyuhyun stood there dumbly watching, and when the man saw him, he was pulled into the alley and was slammed against the wall. Kyuhyun was quick to offer the man a bargain, “If you want lots more money than you just get, do me a favor.” And the deal was sealed.

“I followed Donghae two nights after that, hoping to find the right time to get back to him, and the man I hired was with me. He was with you, hyung, though I didn’t know that you were his boyfriend. You left and I thought that was the exact moment to confront him once again, the man having the gun waited behind a tree. Not many people were around, and those who were there didn’t pay attention to us.”

“You again? What are you doing here? How many times do I have to shoo you away?” Donghae stood facing Kyuhyun, getting annoyed by him. This man he didn’t know had confessed to him so randomly, out of nowhere, and had admitted in stalking him for a few years. How can anyone not get annoyed with someone who had invaded their privacy?

“You forget what I said? I said no one can have you if I can’t. I’m here to make the truth out of my words.”

“W-what do you mean?” Donghae was starting to get shaky, not liking how the other was smirking. The man had looked quite nice and did not bring any bad vibes when Donghae had first met him. One part of him was hoping for Eunhyuk to come back quickly, but another part of him did not want him to come, fearing those words Kyuhyun had said.

“And you chose to come back at that time. You came and hugged him so tightly, and let him his face on your shoulder while you were sending glares at me. I was so shocked, hyung. I was really shocked until I was paralyzed. All these emotions started running through me; sad, anger, upset, betrayed, broken… Then it all happened so fast. I tried stopping it from happening, hyung, I tried to stop myself from losing you, but it got out of hand. That man I hired, when he saw you, he immediately came out of his hiding spot and shot you. We had planned it that way, that he would shoot Donghae’s boyfriend when he comes, but I didn’t know it would be you.”

Donghae lifted Eunhyuk’s head and placed it on his lap. “Hyukkie? Hyukkie, wake up. Eunhyuk?” Donghae was about to use his hand to touch Eunhyuk’s face when suddenly he noticed his hand was covered with blood.

The man who held the gun left, running away as people was starting to crowd after hearing the gunshot. But Kyuhyun stood there and slowly he fell on his knees, staring at the lifeless body of who he thought was his hyung, “Hyung? Hyukjae hyung?” his voice was most probably inaudible, it was so softly spoken with fear and remorse lacing with it. He sounded like a child, a child who was afraid of losing the only family member he had left; a lost child grieving.

“I ran, hyung. I ran and no one tried stopping me.”

“And you end up here in this village.” Tears were cascading down both of their faces and Hyukjae still had his arms wrapped tightly around Kyuhyun, still hugging him side-way and his brother had placed his head on top of his.

“Yes,” a pause, “I didn’t mean to kill you, hyung. I didn’t mean to kill anyone. But anger got the best of me and I lost all my control. Now, I’m facing the consequences. I lost that one person I fell for; I think I can bear with that. But I lost you too, hyung, the one that loved me back as much as I love you. I’m sorry. You came here and willing to listen. So does that mean you will forgive me?”

Hyukjae grabbed Kyuhyun’s shoulders and turned his brother towards him, “You don’t have to say sorry to me, Kyu. You didn’t kill me. You didn’t loss me, not yet. I’m here.”

Kyuhyun scrambled away from him then, eyes showing how terrified he was, “No. That’s impossible. I saw you lying on the ground, lifeless.”

“That wasn’t me. That was Eunhyuk, my look alike. I wasn’t in Korea at that time, Kyu. I was in London, like you thought I was. I only came here when you didn’t return home after more than 3 weeks and I couldn’t get in contact with you,” Hyukjae tried explaining as he crawled closer to Kyuhyun.

“But…” Kyuhyun’s lips were trembling and he was obviously shaking. He gaped at Hyukjae, words wouldn’t leave his mouth. Hyukjae then enveloped him again in his hug, pulling him up to stand so he could give him a full comforting hug that he missed giving to his brother. Kyuhyun sagged in his arms, leaning fully against him, and Hyukjae kissed his hair, like all those nights he had done to Donghae before sleeping.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” and the two siblings walked home, Hyukjae’s arm around Kyuhyun’s waist and the other’s head on his shoulder. When they got back to the old lady’s house, Hyukjae noticed the small blobs of blood on Kyuhyun’s pants. He asked for the emergency kit from the old lady, but she only had an ointment and cotton wool. He said his gratitude and started treating the cuts. Hyukjae smiled, remembering all those time where he had to treat Kyuhyun’s injuries when they were younger, but Kyuhyun’s face was void of any emotion.

That night, Hyukjae told the old lady and her husband about him taking Kyuhyun back to London tomorrow. They were feeling a bit hard to let go of the young man as they started loving Kyuhyun like he was their own son, though he hardly acts like one. But they said it was fine, knowing it was for the best for the two brothers, and for Kyuhyun’s state of mind. Hyukjae slept on the stack of mattress with Kyuhyun, not forget to give him the good night kiss he used to give like before. He might didn’t see it, but the corner of Kyuhyun’s lips did turned upwards slightly.

They said goodbye – Hyukjae was the one who truly bid them – to the old couple the next morning, who said they were allowed to come back anytime they like, their door would always be open for them. The man that Heechul had assigned to take Hyukjae to Kyuhyun drove them to the airport; he had slept in the house with them too. Hyukjae noticed that the man was acting rather a bit uncomfortably, as if he had something to say but wasn’t sure whether he should. He ignored it, thinking it might not have anything to do with him. Plus, Kyuhyun not speaking a word to him since the truth was out was worrying him more.

“Thank you for all you’ve done,” Hyukjae said to the man before he held Kyuhyun’s hand and led him inside. He took both their passports and went to purchase the flight tickets. The woman assisting them was acting rather weird, and kept looking back and forth between the computer screen and Kyuhyun.

“Sir, please wait a moment,” she told them as she stood up and left. Hyukjae didn’t have a good feeling when he had a look on her face. His gripped on Kyuhyun tightened instinctively.

“Excuse me, sir? Are you Mr Kyuhyun?” two policemen approached them suddenly. Kyuhyun nodded, his eyes once again showing fear. “Sir, you will have to come with us. You are a suspect of a murder case 3 years ago,” the police each had a hold on Kyuhyun’s arms, but Hyukjae was still holding his brother’s hand.

“Sir, I’m his brother. Please don’t do this. We can explain what happened, he is innocent,” he tried prying the police’s hand of Kyuhyun but the grip was so tight.

“We still have to take him to the police station, sir. Please give help us and do not complicate matters. You can give your statement later at the police station,” and the policemen took Hyukjae’s brother away from him.

Once again, Hyukjae let go of those hand, he had to let go of those hand, just like 3 years ago. Just when he was able to hold that hand again, he was forced to let it go. He was forced to let go of his brother once again.

Heechul had stayed at Donghae’s house for 2 days, afraid of leaving his friend. He was there, keeping thing in order, taking care of Donghae and making sure that he eats accordingly. Donghae had been unresponsive since Heechul found him lying on the floor. He did not speak a word nor did he do anything much besides than staring into space. Heechul was glad enough that he still eats, though he had to force him.

It was night when he suddenly heard Donghae’s phone ringing. The owner of the phone seemed like he did not care about it, so with a sigh, Heechul picked it up, shocked to see it was a call from his friend’s family lawyer, “Hello?”

“Hello. May I speak to Mr Lee Donghae.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Kim Young Min, but Donghae is not in the right state to talk to you, right now.”

“Is this Heechul?”

Heechul smiled, he was familiar enough with the lawyer as he had used his service before, “Yes, good guess. Why are you calling, Mr Kim?”

“Heechul, you have to bring Donghae back to South Korea,” the lawyer sounded tensed and it made the smile dropped from Heechul’s face.

“Why?”

“We are re-opening Eunhyuk’s murder case. The police have caught the suspect, Kyuhyun, and we need Donghae to be the witness.”

Someone immediately popped into Heechul’s mind.

Hyukjae.

Sorry for the late update again this week, I will try to give another update this week. The good news is this chapter has more than 3000 words, which make it the longest chapter yet. Oh well, there's still around 3-4 more chapters coming. See you all in the next update.

New Question - Do you think Kyuhyun should be sentenced to jail?